FLOYNTERxxx - he's starting to fight back now! :) and thank you so much! :D
311 Dannys POV
I woke up when sunlight burst through my eyes, almost burning them. This happened every time I slept in my own house, I forgot to close my curtains, so every morning I got woken up my the sun. "ugh, why?" I groaned, deciding to close the curtains so I could curl back up again and forget about everything. Then I noticed something, my door was open... I usually closed it. I slowly got out of bed...was that blonde hair on the floor? Creeping closer to the end of my bed, I saw Tom curled up on the floor at the bottom of my bed. I didn't know whether to find this worrying or beyond cute.
The fact that Tom had come over here at goodness knows what time in the morning, sleeping in my room was actually quite sweet, but, why would he do that? Why would Tom feel the need to come over, not that I minded, I loved the idea of him coming over. But, just, what happened to make him want to come over? I couldn't see anything red that looked like blood on him, so hopefully he hadn't done something stupid, but, maybe he wanted to but never did, and came round instead? Or was that wishful thinking? Probably wishful thinking. I wanted to ask, but I wasn't about to wake Tom up to ask, he was sleeping peacefully for one, and I had a feeling that he didn't really want me to know that he was here.
Though I didn't want to disturb him, I had to kneel next to him for a few minutes, taking in that beautiful face, Tom looked so relaxed. He looked relaxed and peaceful, finally. I hadn't seen that in such a long time, Tom always looked troubled now, even in his sleep sometimes he looked troubled, like the thoughts that made him look like he wanted to cry were invading in on his dreams too. Right now though, he looked like his dreams weren't getting to him, like he wasn't being tortured in his sleep. I watched him for a while, just taking in this calm look, that I had sorely missed over the past few months. I got so completely lost looking at Toms face, it was like I couldn't look away, he was just so beautiful, so perfect, I wished he could see that, so he realised that he could smile and laugh, be free again.
But, as I watched, Toms face started to contort a little, a whimper falling from his lips. The exact sound he made when he woke up...oh cr*p. He probably didn't want me to know that he had been sleeping here, if he had, he would have gotten into bed, or at least woke me up to ask for permission to sleep here. But he hadn't, he had come in without telling me, after saying he wanted the night alone, the chances were if Tom woke up to find me staring at him, he would probably go nuts. And not just because I was looking at him. So as quick as I could, I scrambled back into bed, pretending I was still asleep, trying to fake the snores I apparently made, while trying to hear Toms movements, if he was getting up or not.
I heard Tom move, almost hesitantly, I could imagine him sitting up, looking over to check I was still sleeping, before standing up. From what I heard, he did do that, then stood still for a while, before he walked out, closing the bedroom door behind him, and the front door, locking it too, so I didn't suspect anything at a guess. I sighed, wishing for the thousandth time that Tom had the confidence to just get into bed with me, he needed to be in a bed, not on the floor, and he needed to know that he could crawl into bed with me in the middle of the night, that I didn't mind and he didn't need to go all incognito. I would have loved it if I had fallen asleep, to be woken up by Tom getting into bed with me, like he used to. Why couldn't we have that back? Why couldn't we just be like that again? I just wanted to have my boyfriend in my arms, or was that too much to ask for?
My mood plummeted, making my skin start to crawl, I shuddered, trying to ignore the way my arms were begging to be cut open. No, I did NOT do that anymore, I did not do things like this anymore, I couldn't cut again, not after working so hard! I was not ruining my record, I wasn't turning back, I did not need to cut to stop feeling down. I was going to carry on like normal and forget about this, I was not taking Toms reward away from him just because I needed to stop feeling down because he was self conscious. Instead of feeling down, I showered quickly and got dressed, feeding myself and the dogs before getting them ready for a walk, a nice, relaxing, calm, happy walk. With Tom, I remembered we were going together, maybe going for a walk with him would cheer me up and make this need go away! But, I wasn't going to tell him I wanted to do it, no way, I was keeping that to myself. I didn't want Tom to freak out, or be triggered into wanting to cut too, so I was keeping it to myself, it was probably for the best, to keep it to myself and not tell him. Yeah, it was for the best if I didn't say anything triggering to Tom, the less he knew of how much I was struggling, the better I think.
312 Harrys POV
To our luck, me and Dougie ran into Tom and Danny at the field round the back of our houses, all four of us on the morning dog walk. Danny seemed twitchy today though, a bit on edge, like something was up. He denied it though when I asked what was up, saying he was fine, just a bit tired, that was all. I didn't believe him for a second, but I decided it was probably best to leave it until we all got home. Instead, it was probably best to leave Danny to play fetch with his dogs and hold his arms around Tom, holding onto him like a life line. Tom fortunately let him, he just stood there, almost hesitantly resting his hands on top of Dannys.
They ended up surprising me by hugging all the way home as well, and once we were all back inside one house, Danny still looked twitchy, his arms locked around Tom like he would die if he let go. And now Tom was starting to look uncomfortable, like he wanted out of this hold, or at least a little freedom in the hold he was in. "Dan, can I talk to you quickly?" I asked, wanting to intervene before Tom had enough and freaked. "do I have to, I don't want to move." Danny looked scared, he really didn't want to move. "yeah, it won't take a minute. Come on." I held out my hand for him, Danny reluctantly gave in, taking my hand and going out to the kitchen with me.
"was is it?" Danny bit at his nails, still looking jumpy. "are you alright? You're really jumpy and jittery." I pulled his hand away from his mouth. Danny sighed and bowed his head, looking defeated while mumbling something. "what was that, I didn't catch it." I held his hand a little tighter, trying to tell him that it was okay to talk to me. "my arms...they itch." Danny mumbled, slightly louder this time. "oh Danny, come here, wanna talk about it?" I pulled him into my arms, hugging the poor guy. "no, I don't want to talk about it, I want a hug." Danny mumbled again, squeezing me and nuzzling into my shoulder. "you sure?" I asked, rubbing his back. "yeah, I'm sure. I'm working on it by myself." Danny answered, looking half way between a kicked puppy and happier because I was hugging him and giving him the love he needed.
"alright, anything you need at the moment, that'll make you feel better?" I gave him a squeeze, before starting to let ago. "give me a night where I can cuddle in my sleep all night?" Danny whispered, ah, here was the problem. "didn't get a hug last night then?" I pried a little, feeling him shake his head. "no, I went home last night. And then Tom turned up, but he didn't get into bed with me. He slept on the floor, and snuck out before he thought I woke up, didn't even tell me he came over." Danny explained, pouting sadly. "aw Dan, look, do you want to stay with me and Doug tonight? Will that make you feel better?" I suggested, I didn't really know what to say that I hadn't already said over the past few months. "y-yeah, if Tom doesn't want me again tonight. But if he does...maybe, when he says no again?" Danny looked hopeful, looking up at me with big eyes. "yeah, sure, whenever you want Dan. Just ask, I won't mind, and I'm sure Doug will be ecstatic." I smiled, knowing Dougie would be ecstatic, he loved cuddling, the more people the better in his opinion. "thanks, I really do love you guys, you know? Not as much as I love Tom, but I do love you guys too." Danny squeezed me again, pressing himself into me. "we love you too Danny, don't worry, we love you so much too."