Blame
"Arthur hold him down!" Gaius's voice broke through the horror haze and kicked the king back to life, he reached down and gripped the spasming boy by the shoulders. Merlin continued to jerk and twitch as the old physician stitched his chest wound with a poultice soaked needle and thread. Arthur could feel fresh blood on his hands as it spilled from the stab wound, the smell was sickening and he would have gladly liked to have dropped the boy and ran. But he didn't - he knew that he had to help Merlin - this was Arthur's fault after all.
Suddenly Merlin stopped moving, the king stared down in horror, but then saw that Merlin's chest was still rising and falling - he was just unconscious. Which considering the amount of pain he must be in, was probably for the best. Arthur released the boy's shoulders and stepped back, rubbing his hands together. Gaius finished stitching the wound, carefully wrapped Merlin's chest in clean bandages and moved over to the bench, mixing more herbs.
"Gaius" Arthur swallowed. "Will he be alright?" Gaius stopped what he was doing and Arthur saw his shoulders slump. "Gaius?" Arthur nearly jumped out of his skin when the old physician turned abruptly to face him, the look on his face was murderous. "I don't know! I don't know if he'll live this time! You stupid boy!" Arthur gaped at Gaius - old, kindly Gaius - this wasn't like him. "Merlin was right, he follows you around all the time, saves your life countless times and then you go and do this!"
Gaius advanced on the young, rather scared king, with that same, scary look in his tired old eyes. "You get him beaten, stabbed, poisoned, knocked out, bitten, burnt and this time mutilated and then bring him back to me, expecting me to just magically make him alright again!" Arthur was backing up a bit now, frightened by Gaius's sudden explosion of pent up emotion. "You don't realize how many times Merlin has saved your life and then you've just endangered his! One day I'm not going to be able to clear up your mess Arthur!"
Arthur stood, staring at the old physician. He was right - Gaius was right. This was all Arthur's fault. Merlin was just loyal, kind, brave and he always did whatever he could and more to help Arthur - no matter the personal cost. "Gaius . . .you're right. I'm so sorry. . This is all my fault. I should appreciate Merlin more, he's the best manservant- no the best friend any man could ever hope for . . .gods this is all my fault."
Arthur collapsed into the chair beside Merlin's bed, he scrubbed a hand over his face, he felt hot tears pricking his eyes. It was then that he heard an exhausted, cracked voice rasp "Who died?"