Arthur felt sick. Really sick. But it was Saturday, who's sick on a Saturday? And holy shit there were people in his bed. He couldn't move and he could feel one person on either side of him.
'I swear if it's those stupid Irishmen again, I will scream'
He struggled to turn his head and look at one of them. Red hair, big eyebrows, angular face. Allistor.
He breathed a sigh of relief. But then who was on the other side of him? He couldn't quite see but he could make out blonde hair and a hat. Who wears a hat while they sleep?
"That's a trick question Arthur, m'dear. I'm not asleep"
"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK" Arthur would've jumped out of his skin if he wasn't being hugged by Allistor so tightly.
The person moved into Arthur's field of vision.
"You know, I can hear you just fine. You don't need to yell. In fact, you don't even need to speak."
"BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU, WHY ARE YOU IN MY BED!?"
"Of course you know me; I'm the sexiest vampire you ever met"
"…Vlad?"
"Shut up, Arthur" Allistor hit Arthur with a pillow
"Ow" said Arthur
"Oh, I just love that you remembered me after I said I was a sexy vampire" Said Vlad as he glomped Arthur and crushed Allistor a bit in the process.
"Ouch. Why would you do that Arthur? Stop" said Allistor, still not quite up to speed on the situation.
This reminded Arthur of that time he was crushed by uhhh whathisface… Danish dude. He was super heavy.
"Get… off… Can't… Breathe…" said Arthur
"Oh yeah, you need oxygen, don't you?" Said Vlad like it was the kind of thing you forget "Now… what time is it… It must be lunch time now right? So, if you don't mind…" He went in for Arthur's neck.
"Fuck you. Arthur's mine, back off" said Allistor who was suddenly very awake. He checked his watch "and it's ten in the morning, dipshit" Allistor carried Arthur out of the room and locked the bedroom door behind him so Vlad couldn't get out.
"Who the hell is he!?" asked Allistor hurriedly
"He's a vampire… thing… I don't know"
"…Right. Why is he in your bed?"
"I'm not sure, you must've let him in last night. Vampires can't come inside unless they've been invited in."
Allistor thought back to the previous night
"Feckin' hell, Artie. You're heavy as shit" said Allistor as he placed Arthur on the floor.
"Shut up, I have an appropriate weight for someone as fantastic as myself" Replied Arthur, too inebriated to get up from the floor
"what."
"Fantastic-ness = weight, it's physics"
"You're drunk Artie, we all know that the only time fantastic-ness has a weight is when you actually start putting enough glitter on your body to make you heavier."
"Just take me to bed. I want sleep~" There was a knock at the door
"Fine, you sleep, and I'll let in this person at the door"
"Make sure he's not a vampire" said Arthur as he found the strength to move and waddled off to his room.
Oh.
"I guess I did" said Allistor
"No! Do you know what you've done? Vampires are crazy, haven't you ever met one before?"
"Can't say I have, you know, because they don't exist"
"They do too exist" Arthur picked up Allistor's shoe and pulled out the lace. He then tied a rather intricate knot and threw it into the bedroom.
"What was that for?"
"I've always wanted to try it"
Through the door they heard Vlad walk across the floor, supposedly to pick up the shoelace.
Arthur opened the door and sure enough, Vlad was sitting on the floor immersed in untying this mother of all knots.
"What." said Allistor in disbelief.
"We can just leave him there until it's untangled" said Arthur. He knew all those mythology books weren't a waste of time!
"Should we… Should we kick him out or something?" Asked Allistor
"If he's just going to come back in anyway, I'd rather not touch him"
"Fair deuce"
So the two of them walked off into the kitchen and made themselves coffee in an attempt to cure the terrible hangovers they were experiencing. Due to said hang overs they did not think of what would happen after the shoelace was untangled.
"So how did you end up sleeping in the same bed as me?" Arthur asked as he munched on a burnt piece of toast.
"The couch wasn't comfy enough" Allistor lied
"I see."
"So… I think I should leave. I have some work to finish. Can I have a piece of string or something?"
"There's some in the second draw" Arthur pointed to a set of draws in the kitchen "Have fun doing work on a Saturday~" Arthur smiled
"Finally!" said Allistor as he re-laced his shoe.
"Finally what?" inquired Arthur
Allistor put on his coat "You smiled" he said, returning said smile before shutting the door in a bit of a rush.
Arthur was tired now. As soon as the door closed he felt too sleepy to think about much so he forgot all about the vampire untying a knot in the other room and went to sleep on the couch.
'It's not that uncomfortable' he mused absent mindedly as his eyes closed.