thank you to the three of you who have commented on the last add, its cheered me up after a bad evening!
317 Toms POV
By the time Harry, Dougie and Darren turned up, I had pulled myself together, I was not going to cry in front of that many people, I was not that attention seeking or that weak. "ready to see everyone and talk this through baby? Or do you need a minute?" Danny asked, stroking my hair, tucking it behind my ear. My hair was getting a bit too long, it needed another cut, I would cut it tonight when everyone left. "I'm fine, we better not keep them waiting." I did one last scrub of my eyes, pulling my fringe back over my face, trying to hide my now red and puffy eyes.
"alright, don't worry too much, okay? We'll make it okay, I promise." Danny smiled, kissing my cheek, taking me to the front room. "right, I've read through this article, and it sounds bad, I know. Especially with the timeline and everything, but I think, we can sort this out." Darren sighed, wait, what timeline? I hadn't even looked at it, what was the timeline about?! "what timeline?" Dougie asked, still dressed in his pyjamas, looking scared, but still half asleep in Harrys arms. Harry whispered the explanation in his ear, he paled. "anyway, I think we can fix this. I'll sort out a statement this time. Now I need the truth, what is up with you?" Darren looked at me, was there really anything wrong with me? Apart from everything.
"everything is fine Darren. Nothing is true in there. nothing. We're fine, we're not arguing, we're not on the rocks or anything!" Danny defended, his grip on me tightening, almost becoming painful. "you sure?" Darren asked, giving me a sideways glance, like he was expecting me to talk. But I couldn't, I couldn't say anything, I was living in a different reality to everyone else, I couldn't be trusted to give a proper answer to that. "we're fine Darren I swear. We're not arguing, nothing is getting in the way of our relationship. We're happy together." Danny almost growled, he's lying, he starting to hate you. You're causing so much trouble, you might as well start packing your bags. I winced, I didn't like being told these things, all I wanted was to believe Danny, believe that we were fine, and we might have been now, but for how long? How many more of these things could we take before Danny gave up? How many more days of my clingy and neediness could Danny take before he gave up on me? We were going to break up, I could feel it, I had always known it, for years I had known this was too good to be true. I couldn't have had the perfect job, the perfect band, the perfect friends and the perfect boyfriend, I wasn't worth all that, I had the perfect band mates, that was it. I wasn't worth the rest of it, I had known it for years, I had only once dared to believe it was true, and that had ended up with me running after another interview killed it, bringing me back down to what was actually true. And now, because I was so clingy and needy, and in constant need of attention and sympathy, I was messing us up again, and we may have not been in trouble now, but we would be soon. It would be my fault, as per usual, it would be my fault. For not seeing the lies, not seeing the truth behind everyones actions. They were keeping this magazine from me, and there was a reason for that, I wanted to know why, but they wouldn't tell me, I was going to have to find out myself.
So, I waited, until after everyone had gone home that night, after we had drawn up a 'battle plan' against whatever this magazine had said. Then, I sent Danny back to his, telling him I wanted to be alone, that I needed to be alone, I needed time to breathe by myself. Luckily, he believed me and went home, leaving me to find the magazine and find out what this timeline thing was. It didn't take me long to find it, and my god, why did they do this?! It was horrible, the magazine had a 4 page timeline, detailing my weight from when we first started out to now. And they ripped me to shreds, guessing when I started having an 'eating disorder' and how it changed me, and how I ballooned back out again, and how I was 'boarder line too skinny' now. I hadn't thought I had gained that much weight before I ran, did I actually gain a huge amount of weight? But, why didn't I notice? And why didn't I do something about it? Also, why didn't anyone tell me I was getting big? Someone should have told me, no-one told me anything here, I just needed someone to tell me what I looked like, and I hated it. It hurt so much, it hurt so bad, couldn't anyone just be honest with me?!
318 Harrys POV
"Harry, how does Darren know that he can sort this out?" Dougie asked, curling up to me on the sofa, tucking himself right into my arms. "because Darren has contacts in the media, who can circulate the truth about whats going on...or, as near to the truth as they could can." I sighed, feeling so bad because I was just so used to this conversation. It happened so many times. At least once a week or so, whenever something like this happened. "cause we're not telling anyone about how Tom really is, are we?" Dougie looked scared, his eyes widening (I couldn't help but think that his eyes were now normal size, and it looked a little weird on him). "no, we're not. We would never do that. We're just telling them that everything is still fine between us all and to back off and leave Tom be." I explained, squeezing his hand.
"oh, alright. Is this going to be harder than last week?" Dougie whispered, never taking his eyes away from mine, looking so scared. "I don't know. Maybe. It'll be harder on Tom it think, because its all focused on him. But, as long as we make sure he's not listening to them, and that he's not in the line of fire, he should be fine, hopefully." I said truthfully, keeping Tom out of the line of fire was not going to be easy. Knowing our luck, he would end up finding out everything that was said, and then he would probably get so badly affected by whatever was said. I just hoped we could damage control it a bit, and Danny kept him away from the current magazine for the night.
Dougie went quiet then, and soon seemed to drop off on my shoulder, so I took him to bed. I was about to get in myself, when the front door opened and slammed closed, footsteps running upstairs, the loud noise made Dougie stir, but luckily not wake up. The door burst open, revealing Danny, heaving and almost in tears. "Dan? Whats up?" I stood up fully, getting attacked into a hug by Dannys long arms. "I-I'm sorry, I-It got too much!" Danny whimpered, his voice shaking, arms clinging to me. "what did? Whats happened? Danny, whats happened?" I held onto him tightly, feeling him start to quake, pushing himself into me as far as possible. "T-Tom kicked me out tonight, a-and I-I just want to be with him... I want to cut again now, I feel like its my fault!" Danny admitted, his fingers twitching, almost scratching my shoulders.
"oh Danny, its not your fault! Don't worry! Toms had a tough, confusing day, he probably needs to breathe for a while. He'll want you back tomorrow. You haven't done anything, have you?" I promised, rubbing his back gently, ignoring his scratching. "no, no I haven't. I came here instead... thats okay, isn't it? Cause, I can go home if you want me to." Danny whimpered, letting go of me. "no, its okay. Stay here, I'm glad you came here, that took a lot of courage. I'm proud of you." I pulled him closer, really proud Danny did come here instead of turning to sharp objects.
"thanks, can...can I stay here tonight?" Danny asked, looking uncharacteristically sheepish and shy. "yeah, course you can. I've already said this, haven't I? Now get into bed, Dougs looking lonely!" I smiled, laughing a little, turning to look at my husband. Dougie had amazingly stayed asleep, tangling himself in his dinosaur duvet, his hands reaching out across to my side of the bed, clutching at the pillow. Basically, he looked adorable, like usual. "alright, er, where do I go then?" Danny asked, tugging at his sleeves nervously, something he had never been around us. "wherever you want. There's enough room in the bed." I shrugged, ending up pushing him in first, sandwiching the poor Boltoner between me and Dougie, who curled up the warm body straight away.