Ambivalence

Alice:

All I can think about is seeing them together, as they hug their daughter. She's now as tall and as vibrant as Bella. Damien is having some trouble in dealing with having an instant teenage daughter, with boyfriend and everything. I can only imagine what he must be thinking, and I'm still here, lying in bed with Jasper as I try to figure out how to get things back on track with my vision. Bella had changed so many things already, that the alternate seems too far to reach. I know a few things from there that can still occur: I see that we will fight the Volturi; after that, I know nothing else.

However, things had changed so much now that Bella and Damien were taking charge. We had Victoria and Riley on our side, so that was one thing that changed everything drastically; Marcus, Heidi and Alec, as well as other members of the first Volturi attack group had defected to our side. Although Alec had done it for Ren; In that same battle, Bella had severely injured Felix as revenge for what he had done to Damien in Voltera; Leah was leading the wolf pack, with Seth as her beta; Bree was now a major player, and Victoria had made her our newest Hybrid, as well as a young mother of twins, still having just been conceived; We had Ren's song to turn the tide of battle; Aro, out of desperation, had accepted Laurent as one of his council, replacing Marcus; Edward was now with Becca, what some would call a Bella clone for him, and he was no longer part of the leadership.

With all this in mind, part of me wanted to kill Bella for changing things so much, that she made my vision a lie. There was no way to rectify all this, and so many things had been set in motion, as well as so many friendships had begun that were never possible before. I think that only Damien's presence had changed things so much that our future was unrecognizable, but I can't bring myself to hate him. If I hated him, I would not have told Emmett to retrieve him from the destroyed ambulance. It feels to me like he's forgotten that I was the one who attended to him, during the time he was under our care. There were even some nights when I watched him sleep, as he lay helpless and unable to move. I could've turned him then, and made him one of us. I even kissed him once or twice as he slept. Even though I've tried to do it several times. I think what upsets me more is that when I admitted my feelings for him all those years ago, he turned me away. Yet, when Bella approached him, he was fully open to her, and how they stuck together through it all, even with Edward nipping at Bella's heels at my insistence.

Part of me is thinking of going to the Volturi myself, and telling them that Bella was their problem, forcing them to send a group after her, but I couldn't do that to him. Also, they would all eventually find out, and I really would have a lynch mob after me, with a hundred members strong, all behind Bella.

She was also the key in all this. It was her decisions that changed things: She had not chosen Edward; She had decided that she would not run and hide from Victoria. Instead, she chose to befriend her and make her one of our most powerful allies and leaders; Damien removed the imprint from Jacob, forcing the other wolves to take action against him. Again, this forced Leah, taking Bella's example, to step up, and take the Alpha position from Sam Uley, who had killed Harry Clearwater instead of Victoria; This also made the wolves no longer concerned for human life as they decided to surround Charlie's house, with orders to kill should he interfere; All this ultimately destroyed the old order, and bringing about a newer, fairer system of imprinting for the wolves; With Bella in charge it brought Jasper back to the center of battle as he trained newborn hybrids; Her presence also made many of Carlisle's friends willing to join this battle, especially Alistair, as they all knew she would not stand down.

I think about all this, and it only makes my heart ache with the destiny that could've been. If Damien had chosen to be with Carlisle as an intern, he would've met me. While he would be Jasper's close friend, he and I would eventually fall in love, and he would be mine. His honor would make him leave, as he would tell me again that he couldn't accept my feelings, as he would not want to betray Jasper. He would intern at a hospital in Seattle. Edward would take Bella as his mate and we would find ourselves in a place where we would have to fight it out with the Volturi. I wouldn't bother showing Aro anything, I would simply kick Aro into the air, forcing them to take action. As the battle begins, Bella sends Renesmee with Jacob into the woods to escape; Aro kills Carlisle as he is trying to save me; Edward takes command and leads the charge; Bella tried to cover Jasper with her shield, but was interrupted by Alec, and Jane is able to use her pain illusion on Jasper long enough for Demitri to kill him; Emmett kills Alec to avenge Jasper; Jane used her pain illusion on Seth, only to get snapped by Felix; Our forces become overwhelmed, forcing one of Carlisle's friends to strike the ground and create a chasm to the earth's core; Leah ended up sacrificing herself to save Esme, falling into the chasm herself; All in all, Edward's leadership would cost a lot of lives.

With Carlisle gone, it would force the coven to disband. Esme would be in charge, but her vision would be limited without Carlisle. Emmett and Rose would stay with her, as would Bella and Edward. With Jasper gone, I would go to Seattle. I can see it now; I would see him coming out of work, tired boy genius that he is, and he would see me waiting for him as he recognized me. We would embrace then, kissing with such a passion that defies everything else. His destiny with Bella wouldn't even be a memory, and he would be all mine. All this as long as Edward kept his mouth shut, which he would because he would not want to lose Bella.

It all falls on Bella's decision, and I realize now that her relationship with Damien gave her the confidence and courage to start fighting for what's hers. I can appreciate it, don't get me wrong, but I still find myself hating the turn of events more and more. I'm watching them now, as I'm thinking all this, as they laugh and talk. He looks at her in a way he will never look at me, unless I had removed her from his equation, and his from hers. She makes it impossible with each passing moment.

Continued…

Well folks, this is a side note, along with the other Alice chapter I made for Summers. I do need to know what ya'll think of this. Feedback, for all the characters, Damien, Bella, Victoria, Jasper, well everyone, actually. I just need to know what your take is on the whole set up.