Author's note: I know the last chapter kind of ended in a different place than most people anticipated. Hopefully this chapter kind of answers some of your questions!

I still do not own Narnia or anything within it!

When I awoke the next day, I was blissfully unaware of the previous days' events. At least, for a few seconds. As I came to, and became more alert, recognition sunk in, and tears formed in my eyes.

"Edmund," I whispered to myself.

"Milday?"

Ari poked her head into the door, and once she saw me awake she closed the door and rushed to my bed, sitting beside me and pulling both my hands into her lap.

"Christina! I was so worried! I didn't know where you had gone after the Kings and Queens left. I was almost afraid you had left with them!"

I shook my head sadly and tried to blink away my tears. It didn't work.

"Come, let us prepare you for breakfast," she said, smiling and standing up.

Again, I shook my head, and laid back down.

"I don't feel well. Please, give my apologies to King Caspian. I think I am going to stay in bed today, try to sleep it off."

Ari seemed to know that I wasn't actually sick, but she looked concerned. A beautiful girl like her, I doubted she knew exactly what heartbreak felt like, but everyone has lost someone important to them. She could sympathize in some way or another.

"Of course, Chris. I will send some food later."

She brushed some of my hair behind my ear and patted my cheek, something a mother would do, before leaving silently. When I was sure she was gone I closed my eyes and allowed myself to sob. I tried my best to keep my whimpering to a minimum, but the shakes really got to me. I felt like I was convulsing almost.

"Why Aslan? Why Edmund?" I yelled aloud.

Christina

My eyes flew open, I looked round but I could not find the body to match the voice.

Christina

I closed my eyes and I saw him, Edmund, there. Leaning down, pressing his lips against mine softly. Another round of tears flowed and my nose began to run. I wiped it on the sheets and sighed.

Why am I even sad? I didn't love him for more than a week.

He was your best friend.

So?

A sharp knock sounded at the door, causing me to jump.

"Who is it?" I yelled, scared to get out of my bed.

"It's me," Caspian whispered on the other side of the door.

I grit my teeth as I got out of the bed and tip toed to the door. As much as I wanted to be in his company, he was the last person I wanted to see right now. I opened the door a tiny crack and looked up.

He looked like an absolute wreck. There were dark bags underneath his eyes, from lack of sleep, his hair was disheveled, and his eyes seemed less bright, drooping like his energy had been drained out of him through a straw.

"Ari told me you were sick," he whispered.

I sniffled, wiping my eyes, trying to look sleepy rather than like I had just cried.

"I don't feel very good," I mumbled, not looking into his eyes.

"Can I come in?"

I furrowed my brows and looked up. When his eyes met mine they widened slightly. I saw the recognition there. The frown he had on his face deepened and he took a step forward. Without my permission he reached down and wrapped his arms around me.

"Pleas, Chris, talk to me about it?" he seemed so broken. It scared me.

I motioned for him to come in, then closed the door. I led us to the couch and I sat down next to him, with my arm around his shoulders. I couldn't take it. I know he was hurting too, but this was the least king-ly I had ever seen him, and it frightened me, to see just how affected he was by Susan's absence.

"What's wrong, Caspian?"

"Susan! You! Edmund! Everything!" he yelled out, throwing his hands into the air.

"What do you mean?"

He buried his face in his hands and mumbled in between his fingers, "Christina, I don't even know what I am feeling. Susan… she's so beautiful. But-but you! You're… you're in love with Edmund and I just don't understand! How could that have come about so quickly. You only knew him for such a short time!"

"Caspian, Edmund was," I paused, thinking how I was referring to him like he was dead, "Edmund is my best friend. He understands me."

I didn't know how to explain it. I didn't even know if there was something to explain. Edmund had thought it a game to make Caspian jealous. But it had amounted to so much more to me. I don't know if he even felt the same way.

Should I explain it to him? Would he understand? Or would he just get angry at me? For having pretended? Was I pretending at this point?

"Caspian, Edmund and I… it wasn't real. Well, it was, I love him, but- oh god, I don't know how to explain this to you. I don't think he felt for me what I felt for him," I whispered, not looking at him.

"How could he not?" he snapped.

"Because! He thought I was just a friend! To him our relationship was a game, just some joke that he and I could laugh about! But oh god, he was so nice to me and fun and understanding and smart!"

Now I just sounded like I was stupid. I doubted Caspian would understand what I was saying, and I hardly believed he would listen to me even if I told him the truth. He seemed to distraught to be taking in anything I said to him.

My head spun, I needed to talk to someone about this. I doubt anyone else could understand what I was feeling, I doubted even Caspian could. But seeing as how he was the closest friend I had here- except Mel.

Mel!

"Caspian! Are the soldiers still here? Or have they gone by now?"

His head snapped up and he looked so confused. His brows were furrowed and his eyes were red from crying, but he wiped his nose against his sleeve and thought for a minute.

"I believe most of them have settled into the villages around Telmar."

"What about the centaur Melanchates?"

"She is still in the castle. They retained her among the kitchen staff, why do you ask?"

Oh my god, she had been in the castle this entire time and I hadn't spoken to her? Guilt nibbled at the back of my mind, but I pushed it away as I grabbed the King's hands and led him out of the door.

"Caspian, I have to talk to my friend immediately. Please do me a favor, sleep. You look absolutely worn down, and I know you need to sleep."

He protested, but I ignored him, leading him to his door down the hall. I opened the door and pulled him inside, trying not to notice how much nicer his room was than mine. But of course, he was the king. I led him to the huge bed in the middle of the floor and pushed him down.

"I'm so sorry, I know you need to talk. I will be back soon. Please sleep," I whispered, kissing his cheek and patting his hands in his lap before running out of the door.

I couldn't remember the exact way to the kitchen, but I started going down the first staircase I saw, running at top speed. I looked down every corridor I passed until I saw what looked like a servant carrying a stack of linens toward me.

"Excuse me," I said to her, kindly, "Could you please point me in the direction of the kitchen?"

She did not say a word. Instead she bowed her head, curtsied, and started walking away. I didn't understand, but I followed her anyway, worst case scenario is she could lead me somewhere else where I could ask someone.

After running after her for about five minutes I found myself in a huge, galley kitchen, buzzing about with people, working to prepare the meals for the castle. It was easy to spot Melanchates, there weren't many horses inside the Telmarine castle.

"Oh Mel!" I yelled, running to her and awkwardly hugging her front legs, for she was much too tall for me to reach her torso.

"Chris? What in Aslan's name are you doing?"

"Mel, I need you, please. We haven't talked in so long! I miss you so much, and I need to make sense of my own feelings, and you're my closest friend here!" I begged.

She looked around, glad that no one had noticed the scene I was making. Then she nodded her head, wiped her hands on the apron tied around her waist, untying it and tossing it on the counter, then she led me out one of the doors, which opened into the gardens.

"Mel, I know you don't have much time, but we need to catch up. I am so sorry I didn't come talk to you sooner, please tell me, what is going on with you? Why are you in the kitchen?"

I don't know how long we talked, but by the time we had finished the sun was beginning to set. She had told me of her plans to find a new home within one of the villages outside Telmar, but she had stayed in order to learn a new trade.

Those centaurs, so good at so many things.

I had detailed my experiences of the last few weeks with her, and described, in detail, my feelings towards Edmund. She was at first confused why he and I would pretend to be a couple in order to entice Caspian, but after I explained it, she nodded her head.

"It sounds to me as if you are using the Just King for your own benefit," she stated boldly.

Her words knocked me back a few paces.

"What do you mean I'm using him?"

"Chris, I know King Edmund was a close friend of yours, perhaps your best friend. But do you honestly believe you could fall in love with him in such a short time, especially under the conditions in which you two were operating?"

I shook my head, trying to comprehend what she was saying.

"I know you think you love him, but have you ever loved someone before? I don't think you love him. I think you fancy him simply because he was convenient for you to fancy. He was friendly, more so than other gentlemen were to you, and he was closer to you than King Caspian. King Edmund was more attainable, so you convinced yourself that it was him you wanted instead of Edmund."

"Mel, I don't know," I mumbled.

"Excuse me, Madam. I'm very sorry to interrupt, but I want to have a word with Lady Christina," a voice sounded behind me.

I turned to see Caspian, still looking drained, but his eyes were much brighter now, he had obviously gotten some sleep like I had asked him to. I smiled and looked back toward Mel.

She smiled and patting my shoulder, "Of course, your majesty. Chris, come visit me before I make my journey to my village," she said before leaving me alone with the king.

My cheeks reddened as I looked at him, realizing how confused he must be for my outburst earlier. I felt bad having abandoned him in such a time of need, but maybe Mel was exactly what I needed.

"Hey Caspian," I whispered, sitting on a bench and patting the spot next to me.

He took a seat and looked at me, his brown eyes boring into my green ones.

"Did speaking to Melanchates make you feel better?" he wondered.

I nodded, "She knows me very well. It was nice to speak with her and get her input on some things. I'm sorry I left so suddenly earlier. Are you feeling any better?"

"Yes, I needed to sleep, you were right."

I nodded, smiling softly. Looking at him now, in the light of the setting sun, I felt butterflies again, remembering how much I had liked him. But there was something new in the pit of my stomach as well.

Guilt?

"Caspian?"

He looked at me and nodded.

"What did you mean earlier by saying I was something wrong?"

He sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair and scooting closer to me. "I am sorry, Christina. I don't mean that you specifically have done anything wrong. It's just- you are so… you're unlike any other woman I have ever met. Even Susan," he muttered.

"Do you want to hear something funny? Edmund and I originally planned to make you jealous. I just thought you were so smart and adventurous and sweet and just.. perfect. I had the biggest crush on you. Edmund suggested we make you jealous. Then I fell for him, while we were pretending."

It all flew out of my mouth before I could stop it, so when he looked at me with a wide-eyed, thin mouthed stare both my hands flew to my mouth and my cheeks turned bright red of their own accord.

"I'm so sorry Caspian, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable by telling you that."

"No! Don't be sorry, please don't be sorry. I just, do not understand. Did you not love Edmund?"

I shook my head, not making eye contact, too embarrassed and uncomfortable to actually look into his pretty brown eyes.

"I did love him. It was you that drew me to him. But, like I said earlier, I think my feelings were one-sided. Edmund thought we were pretending; so did I, honestly. Until he left, that is. It took him leaving to realize my feelings for him."

He nodded, placing his hand on my knee and patting it softly.

"Chris, we are both missing people. We need to stay strong. I do not know your plans yet, but please- stay. Stay here, at the castle, with me, until Aslan informs you of your purpose here. Please? I consider you one of the closest friends I could have. Now that the Pevensies are gone, you are the only friend I have left."

The butterflies fluttered again in my stomach, accompanied by the nagging feeling of guilt. But what should I feel guilty for?

"Of course I will stay here Caspian. You are one of my only friends here, and I don't want to lose you. Especially now that I have lost most of the others."