Disclaimer, I own neither the Harry Potter series nor any other series mentioned or involved in this. If you believed that I did, 'den you a bit touched in 'da head, 'mon.

To Whom It May Concern,

Harry has no need to go to some back-water school to learn magic, especially when we already deal with things beyond the comprehension of your weak minds on a weekly basis.

And I will not be deprived of the only intelligent conversation I have in this town. Bother us again, and I will be...displeased...

Amanda Maxwell
Endsville, USA

P.S. Enclosed are the heads of a few of your wizard friends who decided to visit Harry and I shortly after your letter arrived. Our 'Best Friend' didn't take well to their attack, or their choice in naming their little club. We kept the masks, wands, and their souls.

"I swear, how do you stand 'dat girl?"

A pair sat on the steps outside of a modest house. One a young boy, and the other who had asked the question was, well, decidedly older and very much less...alive.

"She's my best friend, and my first friend," the boy answered simply. She was kinda his only friend, actually, besides Grim, being the only one Dudley didn't scare off.

"She's a menace, 'dat's what she is," the hooded skull huffed.

"Says my friend who just killed a dozen wizards and took their souls."

"And she tool 'deir masks an' you took 'dose wands," if he had eyes, Grim would be rolling them, "She's a bad influence on you, boy."

"Maybe," Harry said with a smile, "But if she wasn't my friend, then I wouldn't have you as my friend either."

"An' I'd be happier free of you brats."

"You know you love us," Harry said, smiling.

"Harry! Grim!" a voice called them into the house. The two entered to find a blonde girl in a pink dress, about Harry's age, sitting in a chair, calmly sipping tea.

Across from her on the couch sat Harry's Aunt, Uncle and Cousin, pale faces of fear looking like they had spoken with the devil, and in some opinions, they had. It was amazing how the girl could frighten adults without ever raising her voice, and amusing to Harry how his family found Mandy's presence to be more frightening than Grim himself.

"Yes, Mandy." Harry greeted as he entered.

"It seems your aunt was nice enough to hold onto your mom's old school trunk, it should have all of her books and notes for us to study."

"'Us'?"

"Grim!" Mandy barked, "Make me a witch."

Grim sighed, he really should have seen this coming, no way the little monster would let a chance for power go by. He could stand to sacrifice a couple of his new souls, but she was going to be insufferable after this.