FLOYNTERxxx - thanks! one's up already called Under The Stars And Moonlight! :)
If anyone has anything they want me to write any certain scene (eg, they're first meeting) just message me and I'll see what I can do about it! :)
337 Dougies POV
Soon, me and Harry left Tom on the floor (he hated sleeping in a bed, and it was probably best to leave him alone, so he didn't freak out) and went back downstairs, secretly hoping that Tom and Danny would get better while they slept, so they could wake up happy and be like normal. And I don't mean the normal we now had, the normal where they were happy, constantly holding each other and smiling, cracking jokes, laughing together and were generally normal. But, of course, that wasn't going to happen, unless they slept for a very, very long time and somehow developed amnesia.
My hope was obviously ruined when Tom woke up first, I could hear him wandering around upstairs, quietly sneaking across the hallway back and forth, back and forth. The shower started running, and was on for ages before more footsteps, back across the hallway, more wandering back and forth across Toms room, before silence for about half an hour, before there was finally some hesitant steps on the stairs. From the sounds of things, Tom seemed to think he was the only one in the house, but was being careful, just in case anyone was in.
"hey, feeling better today?" I asked, turning round as a blonde head inched through the door, making it leap feet in shock. "er, yeah, yeah. Much better." Tom nodded, hiding mostly behind the door, his head bent to look at a crack in the floorboards, his fingers gripping at the door like it was the only thing holding him up. "well, thats good." Harry smiled, taking hold of Dannys hand as he grumbled and shuffled in sleep. Obviously he sensed Toms presence, just like always. "yeah, I guess." Tom mumbled, wincing at something, standing almost rigidly still. "do you want to come in? There's room over here for one more." I patted the floor, there was more than enough space here, and I just wanted to see Tom next to me, instead of so far away at the door. "no, no I'm just going to, er... go on a walk, I need some air." Tom possibly made my heart stop inside my chest, then burst into life again, pounding so hard it almost hurt.
"oh no you're not! Or at least not without me you're not! I'm coming with, whether you like it or not!" Carrie interrupted, thank god for that! "but-" Tom started, but Carrie cut him off. "no, we're going together. We haven't gone out together in ages, and since you have a day off, we're at least going on a walk together." Carrie crossed her arms and sent Tom a look that dared him to disobey. "I'll be ready in a few minutes." Tom sighed and slumped back out again, Carrie looked triumphant.
"we'll be back in an hour or two I recon, don't worry about us." Carrie smiled, bouncing out again, bouncing out the door with her brother soon after. And when we saw them start walking, Tom was practically shuffling along, barely even moving his feet, letting Carrie chat animatedly about whatever it was.
338 Toms POV
Carrie bounced along the road next to me, leading the way to whenever we were going, I just followed along behind, trying to keep up with her walking and her chatter. "oh by the way, there's nothing about last night in the papers. And there's nothing online either. The only thing thats turned up is about Dougies boots, and thats it! So you're all good right now!" Carrie smiled, linking her arm with mine, acting so happy. She couldn't be this happy, could she? Of course not, she's with you, no-ones happy around you. She's only doing this so Danny, Harry and Dougie can have some quality time alone. Yeah, she probably didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be here. I just hadn't wanted to be around people, I had woken up alone, I had thought I was alone, turns out the house was full of people, as usual.
"cool." I managed to answer her, feeling like if we were going to be stuck together for an hour or two, I should have at least answered my sister before she gave up and left me out of disgust and hate. Better get used to it, its going to happen with everyone around you. It probably would, but I should at least give them the courtesy to talk back while they still wanted to talk. "so, wanna talk about anything? How was the film last night?" Carrie asked, smiling widely at me, why was she spending time with me? And asking for a conversation, what did she want? "it was good. Dougie really enjoyed it." I guessed, I didn't even know. I had spent the whole time I was in the theatre looking at my shoes, wanting to crawl into a hole and never come back out again. The rest of the time, I was in the toilet, making more lines into my thighs, trying to make myself feel better, finding it wasn't getting any better.
"I bet he did. But did you?" Carrie pushed, never looking away from my face, wasn't she disgusted by it yet? "yeah, it was alright." I shrugged, shaking my hair further down, hiding my face, wondering why Carrie was so interested in what I was feeling. "good, did you actually see anything apart from your feet though?" Carrie raised an eyebrow, making us stop at a bench, making me sit. Oh sh*t, there was a motive behind this. "w-what?" I whimpered, preparing to get up and run if I needed to. Looks like I was going to have to. "you know what I mean, you spent the whole film looking at your feet, in tears. And don't lie and say you weren't, Danny saw it all and told me this morning." Carries tone hardened, telling me no funny business.
"Danny saw?" I whimpered, I hadn't meant for that to happen! I had thought I kept the tears hidden! "yeah, he did. What was up?" Carrie softened a little, how could I tell her that I just felt so ugly last night, so deformed? I couldn't tell my 19 year old sister, who was so happy and so innocent in so many ways, that I last night I had wished I didn't even exist, and this morning I didn't feel much better? And then how could I explain why I felt this low, that even though I was trying so hard to look perfect, it wasn't working, I just failed at looking perfect, like I failed at doing everything else I ever tried. I felt so low right now, I could have cried again. All I wanted right now was to crawl under my duvet again and pretend that I really didn't exist.
"Tom? Answer me, what happened last night? Was it just all those cameras and all those people?" Carrie sat down next to me, taking my hand, looking so concerned. You caused that, you ruined her mood. You'll ruin it even more by telling. "no, I just, didn't feel well, thats all." I shrugged, taking my hand back, shoving it into my hoodie pocket. "Tom, answer me truthfully. You can tell me, I won't tell anyone. I've kept your secrets before haven't I?" Carrie had a point, but, I couldn't tell her, she was so innocent, she couldn't know what I thought on a daily basis. Even if she didn't care about me, it would destroy her innocent little mind, it would be like telling Dougie about it, telling would do nothing but destroy a fragile mind.
"yeah, but I really just didn't feel well." I sighed, I wasn't so much lying, I hadn't felt well. But I didn't feel well because I felt sick of myself, and because I had lost so much blood, I had felt so woozy, like I was going to faint. "alright, if your sure. Wanna hug?" Carrie hugged me anyway, and I didn't resist, I just needed a hug from someone. Someone who I knew I could trust, who I had no doubts about, who actually had tried to talk to me, instead of trying to pretend like I was normal until I was actually crying.