xxPUDDxx - alright, have fun on your trip! i shall look forward to your comment when you get back!
LeilaTheGalaxyDefender - thanks! :D
FLOYNTERxxx - mwhahahaha wait and see! :P
343 Dougies POV
Tom thought we were having an affair together? But, why did he think we were? How did he come to think of it? And when did all of a sudden this whole thing start?! Tom was fine last night! He happily got into bed with Danny last night! When did he decide that we were having an affair?!
"right, start talking, what the HELL are you lot up too?!" Carrie growled, I had never seen her so angry before, she looked half way between furious and wanting to cry, "I have been up since 3am with Tom, trying to calm him down and try to find out whats gone on, so I do not have the patience for you to lie to me. So have you gone and broken my brothers already fragile heart?" she carried on, glaring at the three of us.
"no! Of course not! Carrie, you know us, we would never ever, do anything like that to Tom!" Danny whimpered, biting away at his nails, his fingers itching to start scratching at his arms. "then why the hell does Tom think you're cheating on him? Do you know how much pain you've put him through?! He's been crying all f*cking night, and just when I got him to sleep, you walked in and set him off again! Its going to be hours until I can calm him down again!" Carrie looked tired, showing just how long she had been up with her brother last night. "I don't know! I honestly don't know! I don't know what started this off." Danny wiped away tears. "wait, didn't the door bang last night cause it was open?" I asked, cause I was sure the door banged last night, we had put that down to Danny bursting through the door, could it have been Tom? But, why would he have been coming round? It wasn't in his character to come round unexpected and without being almost dragged round.
"but, why would Tom come round last night? He never usually leaves the bedroom, why would he leave so suddenly?" Danny asked, looking so confused. "why did you come round last night?" Harry offered as explanation. "yeah, but he would have come to me….and I was at yours, oh sh*t!" the penny seemed to drop in Dannys head, he paled so badly I thought he didn't have any blood left in him. "why the hell were you round anyway? Why would you go over anyway?" Carrie softened a little, seemingly seeing our side of this now. "because, I-I, I had a nightmare, and I couldn't wake Tom up, cause it would freak him out. So I went to theirs." Danny explained, looking ashamed again, me and Harry put our arms around him for comfort. "oh, right. Surely that wouldn't have looked so bad, would it?" Carrie now looked confused, her tough façade dropping.
"we were all in bed together, hugging." I admitted, surely we hadn't looked that bad, had we? We couldn't have, we could not have looked that bad, could we? We shouldn't have looked like we were in a relationship, but did we? Surely we didn't! "that's where its come from then. Right, I'm going up there and explaining whats happened, seeing if I can at least get him to listen to this, which I doubt." Carrie sighed, starting to go upstairs. Danny started following. "no, you stay here, Tom will go mental if you're there too. Trust me, I'm going to handle this, I know my brother, and he trusts me." Carrie stopped him, sighing again before trudging upstairs.
"its all my fault, I should have just stayed here, and sat it out. I could have done that, I didn't need to go out, its all my fault." Danny whimpered, starting to pull on his hair, the look of panic on his face was horrible. "no its not your fault!" I argued straight off, it was not Dannys fault, he needed comfort and we were the ones who could give him that comfort. That was it, nothing more, nothing less. It was Tom who saw this for something more than it was, he knew that we were all close, that we all loved each other and were like brothers. Tom knew that we were close, and nothing would ever happen between the three of us, me and Harry loved Tom and Danny in a different way than the way we loved each other. We would do anything to help each other out, literally anything. But nothing would ever make us cheat on each other.
"it is my fault, if I had just stayed home, then this wouldn't have happened! We could be hugging together on the sofa, instead of crying alone." Danny started sobbing, just breaking down. He had been here since 9am this morning, he had been trying to get Tom to talk to him for two hours now, of course he was breaking down now. "you're not alone Danny, we're here, don't worry. Carrie will sort this out, you'll be back together by the end of the day, I'm sure." Harry tried to smile, bringing Danny into our arms more, rubbing his back before he collapsed. "w-we better! I-I love him so much! I can't live without him!" Danny cried, wow he really was upset. "you won't live without him Dan, don't worry, you won't ever live without him." Harry promised, though he didn't look convinced of it himself.
We stood there in a huddle for what felt like hours, Dannys cries not managing to drown out Toms howling cries from upstairs. Eventually, Carrie came down alone, minus Tom, falling to sit down to sit next to us on the sofa. "he's not coming down for a while." Carrie shook her head at our expectant looks. "why not?" Danny whimpered again, hiding his face in his hands. "because he doesn't want to see you. He's so heartbroken, been crying all night and morning. I've just got him to sleep now, so I'm not waking him up again. Just for more heartbreak." Carrie deflated against the sofa, showing just how worn out she was.
344 Toms POV
Carrie may have thought I was sleeping but I wasn't, I couldn't sleep, not after that, not after finding out that my 'boyfriend' who 'loved me so much' was actually cheating on me. In the back of my mind, I had always thought that I wasn't good enough, that the whole thing was too good to be true, but I had barely managed to will myself to believe that Danny wouldn't cheat on me. I had thought he would have ended it first, instead of lying to me and stringing me along for so long. Of course he was going to string you along. You're pathetic, no-one else is going to want you, and he's too nice to drop you like the trash you are. I whimpered loudly again at the sound of the voice inside my head, it had been right, like it was right about everything else. Of course I'm right, I'm the smarter version of you.
Tears could not stop streaming down my face, but it didn't stop me from seeing my reflection in the mirror on the wardrobe. I looked pathetic, weak, and truly disgusting. No wonder Danny cheated on me, I wouldn't have wanted to date something like this, why would he? He had just felt sorry for me all along, and had just tried to make me feel better by pretending to be my boyfriend, and I had stupidly believed him. I was never believing anyone ever again, I had known all along that Danny only said he loved me in the first place because I had an 'eating disorder' and then had dumped himself with me, probably realising that I stupidly was in love with him so he couldn't dump me after a few weeks. How had I ever believed all those lies? How had I believed that Danny loved me, I was so stupid! I should have realised before that he couldn't actually like me, no-one could, I wasn't worth liking.
The door opened and I quickly shut up, pretending to be asleep, so whoever it was would leave me alone. "see, sleeping, so no, you can't talk this out." Carrie warned, there were footsteps, heavy footsteps, oh god. "I-I'm sorry Tommy, I am so sorry." Danny whispered, his presence getting closer until I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was like I had had an electric shock, without even knowing it, I got up and scrambled out of the way, hiding away in my bathroom and locking the door. "Tommy! Tommy open up, we can sort this out!" Danny shouted, f*ck, I really shouldn't have done that! I was in trouble now, they knew I was still awake! But I was not talking to them, no way, I was not talking to anyone I didn't trust. I only trusted Carrie right now, she was the only one who didn't lie to me, only tried to stupidly make me feel better. "Tom please, I'm begging here, please let me explain!" Danny managed a fake cry, which sounded half way to convincing.
"no! Go away!" I shouted, I was not going to hear his lies, I refused to hear his lies about last night. I saw what I saw, he was in bed with two other men, the people I had thought were my best friends, and had said that he loved them. There was no way Danny could talk his way out of that one, no-one could, so all he was going to do was try and explain in a nice way that I was worthless and our whole relationship was a lie, I already knew that, he didn't have to go and tell me again. "Tom please! Come out and let us explain! It was nothing like what you think you saw! There's a good explanation to what happened last night!" Harry started shouting too, I didn't care, they could bag on that door and shout all they liked, I was not going to come out of here.
"you liars! Get the f*ck out of here!" I almost screamed, pain ripping through me and tearing me in one hundred different ways. They're going to lie to you again, make you believe that it was all a mistake and carry on behind your back. Don't go out there, there's only lies out there. There was only lies out there, lies, lies, and more lies! Nothing of what they said was going to be true, not a word of it would be true. The only true thing was the voice inside my brain, telling me the actual truth, it had been right about everything so far, it wasn't going to stop now.
"please Tom, let me talk to you, face to face. Don't make me explain through a door." Danny sighed, sounded tired of this, maybe he would go home now instead. "no! Go away! I don't want to hear it!" I cried, feeling my skin crawl and start to scream at me that I needed to release the emotions that were thumping through me so fast I thought I might explode! I could feel how my shaking knees buckled underneath me, making me crash to the floor, before I scrambled over to the cabinet, finding a brand new razor blade. "Tom! Are you okay in there?!" Danny shouted, I barely heard him, the feeling of the blade in my hands making everything else blur.
"wait, don't cut! Please Tommy, don't take this out on yourself!" the banging became frantic, but I didn't care, the door was locked, they couldn't get in. The razor pressed to my arm, do it, go on, do it! Prove to them that you have a brain and can think for yourself, you don't need someone telling you that you're perfect or anything. Its all been a lie, now cut and get rid of the lies! It pressed into my arm at the encouragement, splitting the skin, red liquid falling out and over the floor, creating another soon-to-be bump on my arm, joining the others. And I allowed myself to laugh a little as blackness over took my vision, claiming my consciousness for a few hours, until everyone went away and left me alone.