Disclaimer, I own neither the Harry Potter series nor any other series mentioned or involved in this. If you believed that I did, then you may be looking for the computer room.
Hey, Jerks,
First off, this bird of yours is annoying, it wouldn't leave me the fuck alone, it keeps pecking at me and it's voice is like nails on the damn chalkboard. Send it again and I'm killing it.
You should probably off it, anyway, or at least get your money back. I'm not this Harry brat and I've never heard of him, maybe he's dead and your bird just went for someone to unload the stupid letter on.
Second, I fucking seventeen, I'm not starting school all over again, I have more important shit to do!
So, kindly, go fuck yourselves,
Scourge the Hedgehog
Dear Professor,
First, I have to say this is a pretty cool bird you sent, the song was great and the whole fiery entrance thing was awesome, I don't suppose you know where we could get one? This little guy seems to like me.
Anyway, I think he got a little mixed up, the name's Sonic (That's my name and I'm sticking to it, bad enough some of my friends know my middle name). I don't think I know any Harry Potter. If you had a picture, I could keep a look out, but the only Harry that comes to mind for me is Harry Mole, and he seems a bit old to be just starting classes and stuff.
Sorry, but best of luck finding the kid.
Sonic the Hedgehog
P.S. Really, send me a picture and I'll ask around, see if anyone knows him
P.P.S. Get back to me on the bird thing, I got a friend who would probably love one
A.N. So I figured I'd post something since it's been a couple of weeks since I had.