A/N: Holy crap I hated All-Stars. Anyway here's chapter 3. It's longer than last chapter, but perhaps not as satisfying.

World Tour Halfway Remix

Chapter 3

Team Chris is really hot sat in the economy section of the plane as it flew them to their next destination. Noah was reading a book, Owen was sleeping, Ezekiel was lying on his back and Tyler was sitting there looking bored.

"These seats really are uncomfortable eh." Ezekiel said adjusting his sore back.

"Try sitting on them episode after episode," Noah remarked turning a page in his book. "Eventually the pain is replaced with a dull ache."

"We just need to win our next challenge." Tyler spoke up. "Then we can relax in first class again."

"But we're here because we lost last time." Noah pointed out.

"Yeah, but at least we got rid of Alejandro!" Tyler said being optimistic.

"I guess that's a good thing." Noah acknowledged. "Now I don't have to keep looking over my shoulder or sleeping with one eye open."

"Hey don't talk bad about Al!" Owen said now that he had woken up. "He was great!"

Ezekiel frowned. "He beat up Cody, yo!"

"And he manipulated a bunch of people. Including you Owen." Noah pointed out to his overweight friend.

"Oh come on guys! He wasn't that bad!" The blonde said but everyone else's facial expression was pretty somber. "Well…at least he was attractive!" Suddenly he realized what he said and covered his mouth with his hands. But it was too late as the other guys gave him a weird look and moved farther away.

The awkwardness was interrupted when Tyler's stomach started to growl. "Aww man I'm hungry. I could go for a burger right about now."

"Me too!" Owen agreed. "I haven't eaten in so long! I think I'm going to faint."

"What are you talking about?" Zeke glared at him. "You can't be hungry. You were the one who ate all our food!"

"Oh yeah," Owen laughed awkwardly. "Sorry about that." The others glared at him with their arms crossed.

Meanwhile up in first class Heather was relaxing in a comfortable chair pulled way back. Her eyes were closed but she wasn't asleep. They immediately opened when Cody approached her carrying a fruity drink with a bendy straw.

"Here you go Heather, I got your drink."

Heather stretched out her hand and took the drink from her boyfriend. "Thank you Cody." Putting the straw to her lips she greedily sucked the beverage through the straw and into her mouth. When she put her drink down a minute later she realized Cody was still standing there.

"Do you want anything else?" He asked.

She smiled, "Your sweet Cody, but I'm fine." Standing up she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Sit down with me." She said directing him into the chair beside hers. After sitting back down herself Heather used her left hand to hold his hand and her right to hold her drink.

Gwen watched all of this while glaring. "She so has to go next." She said to Courtney who was sitting besides her absentmindedly checking her PDA.

"Heather is a worthy competitor," the CIT said not bothering to look up, "But she poses no threat for now."

"But she's tricking Cody," Gwen said grinding her teeth. "And I hate her! She has to go next."

"Let her have the dweeb. He won't do her any good."

"Cody is my friend," Gwen said shooting an angry look at Courtney. "So I want to help him. Got it?"

A pregnant pause passed. "Sure Gwen, we'll do it your way."

*Confessional*

Courtney: Sometimes I just don't get what goes on in Gwen's Goth brain. But she's a decent competitor and not a bad friend so as long as nothing weird happens I guess I'll have to humor her.

*End Confessional*

Meanwhile Chris and Chef were playing Chess in Chris' room. Suddenly the plane starts to rock rather dangerously. Neither of the two seemed very concerned. "Plane can use a tune up." Chris commented. Chef nodded in agreement.

The host grabbed a nearby intercom mic. "Attention potential crash victims. Please remain calm as our autopilot is testing some equipment. Snacks are available in the common area for a last meal if you don't believe me."

The remaining eight competitors stood in the common area looking worried. Owen grabs a banana out of the fruit bowl on the table. "You call these snacks? We're all gonna die!" he shoved the entire banana in his mouth.

While Owen was panicking Noah remained calmly assessing the remaining snacks. "What? No vitamin C?" He turned to Cody. "Does Chris want us all to die of scurvy?"

"I'm not sure Chris is aware of what causes scurvy," he answered. "Plus we seem to be facing a more immediate death from a plane crash."

The brainiac scoffed, "That seems highly unlikely. Chris is under the impression the more danger we're in the higher the ratings will be. The plane will set itself a few seconds before we'd all die."

Cody nodded, "Probably, but I don't think anyone told Tyler."

The tech geek was pointing over to the corner where the would-be jock was doing pull ups. "Must…leave…beautiful…corpse!" Suddenly one of his shoes came off and hit Courtney in the back of the head knocking her down.

The lights went out suddenly and Owen screamed. The plane descended at a dangerous speed but then fixed itself right before it landed. Chris and the eight contestants all quickly got out of the plane for their next challenge.

"Everyone welcome to the coolest extra-terrestrial place in the world: area 52!" Chris explained excitedly.

"Area 52?" Gwen scoffed. "Area 51 is where all the cool alien stuff is."

"Even I know that, holmes." Zeke agreed.

"Area 51 is right over that rock there." Chris explained. "We're just outside the border. Why don't you go check it out Gwen?"

The Goth shrugged before walking out past where Chris had pointed. Immediately a red laser beam from out of nowhere shocked her. "Waa-ahh!" She cried out before it stopped and she immediately came back.

Chris couldn't help but laugh as he pulls out a two way radio. "Thanks for the light show colonel! It's great to have friends in area 51 places!"

*Confessional*

Gwen: Not cool Chris! Not cool!

Ezekiel: Is this a bad time to mention my fear of alien abductions?

*End Confessional*

"Listen up space cases!" Chris said getting their attention back. He was standing in front of a TV screen showing the base's layout. "The five-one is the most highly protected military base in the world, which is why tonight's challenge is going to be so much fun! For me anyway."

"Part one: break into area 51 without getting shot, gassed, plasma rayed or otherwise killed. The place is guarded by elite black ops soldiers so if you get blown up your death will be blamed on a weather balloon accident. Part two: each team must find a genuine functioning alien artifact inside area 51's black box warehouse. You need to find something alien that still works."

"Part three: the winning team must bring their working artifact back to area 52 intact. Last team back faces elimination. And do not get caught over there; rumor has it trespassers get a memory wipe and are transferred to an alien colony where their either become slaves or food." Ezekiel gulped when he heard that. "You have till dawn. Go!"

The two teams set off heading into area 51. Team Amazon hid behind a rock as they looked over at the warehouse. "Ohhh no," Heather said mocking scared. "Some kind of security vegetable patch." She rolled her eyes. Suddenly a strange look appeared on her face.

She turned to her boyfriend who was standing right beside her. "Cody now really isn't a good time to be flirting with me. Get your clammy hands off of my leg!"

"I'm not touching your leg," he said holding up both of his arms.

Their entire team looked down to see a large lizard had wrapped itself around Heather's leg. All four of them screamed and ran off randomly. The lizard following behind them was suddenly blown up into the air. "Since when do lizards fly?" Heather asked.

"Everyone freeze!" Gwen said slowly. "We are on a mine field."

"Nice job Cody," Courtney scoffed.

"Don't blame this on him!" Heather glared at the CIT.

But Cody himself wasn't listening. Instead he had pulled open his backpack where he had his candy stash. Throwing a handful of it in front of him a nearby mine exploded. "Follow me ladies!" He said before throwing more candy on the buried mines.

The three girls ran behind him as he led the way. "Nice job Cody!" Heather called out to the tech geek before giving Courtney a look.

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes. "I could've thought of that!"

Meanwhile team Chris is really hot were also trying to get in. They all hid behind a rock glancing around for lasers. Ezekiel looked especially nervous. Suddenly a bunny hopped past them toward the warehouse.

"I think it's safe to cross." Tyler said.

Suddenly a laser hit the bunny dead on. It burst into flames and ran past them. "Sure it is." Noah remarked as he watched the bunny run.

"I'll…be on the plane." Owen said sounding nervous.

"G-Guys?" Zeke stuttered. "I k-kinda have this phobia of getting abducted and probed by aliens."

"Really?" Noah asked surprised. The home-schooled teen nodded.

"Dude…its okay. We won't judge you." Tyler said putting his hand on Zeke's shoulder.

"So…can I go back to the plane?"

"No," Tyler shook his head. "You have to go in with the rest of us."

"Noooo!" Zeke cried out as he ran away. Tyler tried to catch him but he slipped through his fingers.

It was then the other three boys noticed where he wasn't heading back to the plane. "Wait Zeke, you're going the wrong way!" Noah called out after him.

Red laser beams shot out at him from everywhere but he was running too fast for them to catch him. Then suddenly he stepped on a mine and was flung into the air. He flew over the fence and landed hard on the ground inside the fence.

"Owww…where am I eh?" He stood up rubbing his head. Suddenly as if activated by his presence a long tube shot out of the ground and hovered over him. The sound of air being sucked out as the tube tried to suck Ezekiel into it. "What?" He said trying to hold onto the ground. "No!" The tube sucked him up and he was pulled through it into the ground.

"Zeke!" Tyler called out running over to the fence. "I'll save you bro!" He jumps onto the electric fence and starts to climb. "Ouch! Whoa that's hot! Oww!"

"Tyler wait!" Noah said running over. "There's a…" he motioned toward an actual entryway devoid of electric fence but by this time Tyler was mostly over the fence. Owen and Noah walked through and once they were on the other side Tyler fell to the ground smoking.

"I'm…okay," the jock says pulling himself to his feet.

"Tyler your smoking."

"What?" He looked confused. "No bro, I don't smoke."

"No I mean you're actually on fire." Noah pointed to his shoulder. Looking down Tyler saw the smoke and patted himself down.

"Okay I'm good. Now let's save Zeke!" He said running off. The other two shrugged then followed him.

A squad of block ops soldiers left the warehouse in a hurry. The door started to close behind them but was stopped as Heather caught it with her foot. Kicking it open she walked through with the rest of team Amazon behind her.

"Hey it looks like we beat team Chris is really hot," Gwen said looking around.

Just then Tyler ran into the warehouse and knocked Gwen off of her feet. Owen and Noah were right behind him. "Zeke?" He called out looking around in a hurry. "Where are you dude?"

"What's his problem?" Courtney asked.

"Ezekiel got taken," Noah explained.

"By the aliens!" Tyler added. He then turned to Cody. "You got to help us look!"

"Okay," Cody nodded.

"What?" Heather said surprised. "We don't have time for that. We need to find an alien object."

"No time!" The jock said grabbing Heather by the shoulders and shaking her. "The aliens could be dissecting his brain as we speak! We have to save him now!" and at that he let go and ran off in a random direction.

"So…yeah." Noah looked uncomfortable. "We're just going to look for that alien artifact now." He and Owen walked in a different direction from Tyler.

Cody turned to the three girls. "Let's split up. Heather and I will go one way while Gwen and Courtney go the other."

"Who elected you team leader?" Courtney asked. "I should be team leader so I'll come up with a plan."

Heather glared at the brunette. "Cody's plan is fine. Let's stop wasting time and do it already!"

"I agree," Gwen quickly said before Courtney could open her mouth again. The four quickly split into two groups.

"We're not really going to look for Zeke are we?" Heather asked.

"If we see him then yes, we will help him." Cody told her. The queen bee groaned. "Come on Heather, don't you want to show everyone how you're a better person now?"

She sighed. "But being nice is hard…"

The tube that abducted Ezekiel came to an end in a small metal prison of a room. The home-schooled kid was thrown down onto a chair similar to those used in a dentist's office. "Where am I?" Suddenly metal shot out of the chair and locked his wrists and feet to the chair. "Ahh! Let me go!" He struggled.

From out of nowhere numerous devices came out. Most looked like they were used for torture or dental use. Suddenly a female computer voice was heard. "Initiating G7581 protocol: small."

From out of the ceiling a dome shaped device came down over Ezekiel's head covering it and his eyes. "No! Don't suck out my brains! I still need those eh!"

The whirl of electricity could be seen followed by the sound of Ezekiel's screams. Even outside the metal container it could be heard. Tyler heard it as he ran past. He suddenly stopped and turned around. "That's got to be Zeke. Zeke!" He yelled to the trapped teen. "I'm here to save you buddy!"

He started to punch the wall of the prison furiously. "Never-leave-a man-behind!" He stopped and gasped at the pain running through his red knuckles. His effort seemed fruitless, but that didn't stop him from trying.

Meanwhile Cody and Heather were looking for an alien artifact. Heather had found a strange device that held a swirling green portal in the middle. Curious, she carefully stuck her index finger into the portal. Suddenly the portal pulled her whole hand inside.

No longer curious Heather tried to pull her hand out but failed. Instead her whole arm got pulled in. "Cody!" She called out right before it sucked her head and then her entire upper body into the portal.

The tech geek was only a few feet away from her. While looking for the alien device he had spotted something strange that resembled a giant glowing banana. When he touched his finger to it his finger instantly got burned. Pulling back quickly he sucked on his finger and that's when he heard Heather call out to him.

Turning around he was clearly surprised at what he saw. Rushing over to her he knew he had to pull her out. "Hold on Heather, I got you!" With a certain glint in his eyes he grabbed Heather not by her waist but by her butt and pulled as hard as he could. It was like playing tug of war with something on the other side and clearly it didn't want to let go.

But with one last heave Cody managed to pull Heather free. They both fell to the ground and Heather landed on top of Cody covered in green slime. "Are you okay?" He asked ignoring the pain in his chest where she landed.

"Fine," she said trying to wipe the considerable amount of slime off of her person. "This…is disgusting!" She said trying to shake it off. Cody shielded himself with his arms so as not to get covered with it himself. She soon got it off before turning to her boyfriend. "And you…"

"Me?" Cody said slightly confused.

"Yes you," she said irritated. "You think I didn't feel your hands groping my ass? Pervert!"

"I was just trying to pull you out," he said feeling rather small under his girlfriend's gaze. "Most of you was already in the portal."

"You could've grabbed my midriff or my legs," she informed him. As she clenched her fists Cody gulped. "But I guess you went for the bigger target huh?"

"I'm sorry, it's just…" He couldn't help himself. "You've got such a great ass."

A few minutes later they continued their search for an alien artifact. Cody however had a rather red and painful mark on his face shaped like a hand.

*Confessional*

Cody: *still has a red mark on his face* What can I say? It was worth it.

Heather: I like Cody, but sometimes you've got to teach boys their place. I'm no damsel in distress, but if I ever was, I sure wouldn't want to be groped during my rescue.

*End Confessional*

Courtney and Gwen were not having much luck. The Goth was searching through a bin of what seemed to be broken objects and non alien artifacts. She'd pick one up, look it over, and then throw it over her shoulder onto the ground.

Courtney found what looked like a large metal robot. Inspecting it from side to side it was only when she laid a hand on it that it seemed to come to life. "Self-defense systems activated: now initiating." A huge laser beam appeared out of the robot's arm. The CIT looked ready to faint at the sight of the enormous weapon when suddenly the weight became too much and the robot broke through the floor and disappeared.

She decided to walk back over to Gwen. "Find anything?"

"Nope," she said throwing more useless junk over her shoulder. "For some reason I thought this would be a lot easier."

"Ha!" Courtney laughed. "They don't put teenagers on TV to do anything "easy" Gwen."

"I guess not," she sighed. "Why don't we try to find Cody and Heather? Maybe then found something. And if not, at least we can rescue Cody from Heather's evil clutches."

The CIT rolled her eyes. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous of Heather…"

"WHAT?" Gwen practically screamed at her. "I'm not jealous of Heather! I hate her. I just want to save Cody from heartbreak."

A thought occurred to Courtney. "Didn't you already break his heart?" Gwen glared at her as they walked. "What? I'm just saying you never cared before when we used to make fun of the little twerp."

Gwen wanted to object to this until she realized Courtney might be telling the truth. The though saddened her and she remained quiet until they found their other two teammates.

"Did you find anything?" Courtney asked Heather but the queen bee just shook her head.

"Hi Gwen," Cody greeted his friend. He then noticed she was frowned. "Are you okay?"

"I'm…okay. Let's just find that alien artifact." She reminded him.

"You got it," he nodded. Grabbing the nearest box of junk he tried to pull it down. It didn't budge. He pulled harder and when it came loose it knocked him down and slipped all over the floor.

"Are you okay?" Gwen asked holding out her hand. Cody took it and pulled himself up.

"Yeah I'm fine." Something in the overturned box of junk caught his attention. Grabbing the side of it he pulled it out. It was a very cool blue electric guitar. "Wow check this out!"

Courtney looked up from her own search to see the guitar. She scoffed, "That's just a normal guitar. We need an alien artifact, not a human one, nerd."

"No wait," Cody said as realization struck him. "This is no ordinary guitar. Isn't this…? Could it be?"

By then Gwen had started to realize it too. "No, you don't mean…?"

"It is!" Cody exclaimed holding the guitar up to the light. "This is Haruko's guitar! From FLCL!"

"You mean it's real?" Gwen asked looking at the instrument as if it was suddenly much more valuable.

"I never thought it was real until now, but it must." He smiled. "It's the same guitar that struck Naota across the head."

Heather of course had no idea what they were talking about but could see where this was going. "So…is it an alien artifact?"

"Yes, or at least it should be." The tech geek nodded. "Haruko was an alien after all."

"Great!" She exclaimed. "Then let's get out of here already!"

Meanwhile Noah and Owen were looking for their artifact. What that meant was that Noah was looking for it while Owen was searching for food. "I wonder where the aliens keep all their food?" He pondered.

"Why would you want to eat it?" Noah asked. "It's likely toxic to humans."

"But I bet it would taste delicious!" He smacked his lips.

A few minutes later Noah's search drew results. "I found something." He held in his hands a clear cube the size of a soccer ball and inside was what appeared to be a rainbow colored apple. "Looks alien enough for me."

"An apple?" The fat boy drooled. "I love apples!"

"I seriously doubt this is an apple," the brainiac said holding the artifact at arm's length away from Owen. "It's definitely not meant for human consumption."

"Oh you worry too much Noah." Owen said ripping the cube out of Noah's hands. He pulled the top off and grabbed the apple shaped artifact in his fat hands before shoving it whole inside of his mouth.

"Owen wait!"

But it was too little too late as the wide teen had already chewed and swallowed. "Mhmm not bad," he said licking his lips. Noah slapped his hand over his face.

*Confessional*

Noah: Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with this guy…

Owen: Noah worries too much! I'm sure it'll be fine!

*End Confessional*

"Oh I don't feel too good…" Owen said holding his stomach. He suddenly let out a loud belch.

"Owen…your skin." Noah said taking a step back.

The blonde held up a fatty hand to his face to see his skin had turned purple. "Great pizza pie! Just look at me! I'm the same color as grapes! Oh wow, how good are grapes? I could just eat them forever…"

"Owen focus!" Noah snapped his fingers. "It's probably not permanent but there's nothing we can do about it until the challenge is over. Hey do you hear that sound?"

"What sound?"

"It sounds like someone hitting metal with their fists. But who would be dumb enough to do that?" Noah asked. Owen just shrugged. The two headed over to see that it was Tyler trying to get Ezekiel out of his 'alien prison'.

"Noah! Owen! Zeke is inside of this…this thing! Help me bust it open!"

Noah walked over to the side where he saw a digital pad to input a six digit code. "Hmm…" He rubbed his chin. "I bet I can solve this. He quickly put in a code and the screen lit up. Seconds later the door opened and a wave of steam escaped.

A few seconds later Ezekiel stumbled out. His face had white makeup covering it along with lipstick over his mouth and black circles around his eyes. His hair had been dyed green and pulled down into a mullet.

"Zeke! Your okay!" Tyler said relieved.

"Whoa, what did they do to him?" Noah asked.

Ezekiel's eyes suddenly grew wide as he put both hands on top of his head. "Oh no! I think the aliens stole my brain eh! What do I do now? I still need it!"

"No, I think you still have your brain." The jock told him.

"If you ever had one in the first place." Noah smirked.

"But they did do your makeup. Take a look."

Tyler moved Zeke over to a broken piece of glass on the ground. He looked at his reflection and freaked. "Ahh! I look like a clown! Oh man, my ma is gonna be mad!"

Noah sighed. "Can we please focus? We don't have an alien artifact."

"Well it shouldn't be hard now that we've found Zeke." Tyler said. "It'll be easy with all four of us."

"What, you think I can just hold out my hand," Noah said raising his hand up and holding it open as if to grab something, "And an alien artifact will just come to it?"

Suddenly they heard what sounded like a crash off in the distance. They all turned to see a small device flying through the air. It flew all the way over to them and landed in Noah's open hand.

"What is it?" Owen asked.

Noah inspected the device that fit easily in his hand. There was a button on it. "For the sake of humanity, I hope this isn't what I think it is." He hit the red button and a red energy beam shot out two feet forward. "Yup, it's a lightsaber."

"Holy cow! A real lightsaber?" The jock asked.

"I thought that was only in the movies, eh."

"Apparently not." Noah said casually swinging it around. "But now that we've got it lets get out of here."

The four teens made their way out of the warehouse with Noah carrying the lightsaber. Soon they could see area fifty two where they knew they'd be safe. But that wasn't all they saw. Team Amazon was in front of them and they had their own alien artifact.

"We'll never catch up to them." Noah said already panting from the exercise. "They're too far ahead."

"We gotta try!" Tyler told him.

Just then Chris came into view. He was sitting safely in area fifty two eating a slice of cake. "Cake!" Owen cried out seeing the chocolately goodness. He suddenly picked up speed and ran right past his team toward the cake.

But he was also heading toward team Amazon. "Guys incoming!" Gwen called out. The others turned around to see purple Owen running right for them.

"What the hell?" Courtney asked. "Why is Owen purple?"

"He's trying to stop us!" Cody said. He then pulled the guitar off his back. "Heather catch!" he threw the instrument to the queen bee. "You know what to do!"

Grabbing hold of the guitar she nodded. Suddenly she stopped running and turned to face the charging behemoth. As Owen came close she pulled the guitar back behind her and swung it with all her might.

It hit Owen hard on the side of his face and knocked him to the side on the ground. "Mama…" He said disoriented. Not feeling much regret she ran back to her team who were waiting with Chris.

Heather handed the guitar to the host. He checked it over. "And the Amazons win again!" Courtney, Cody, Gwen and Heather all cheered just as team Chris is really hot arrived.

All eight contestants and Chris got back on the plane. But just as it was about to take off something else got on too. What Cody never realized when he went to help Heather was the alien device he had touched had made a clone of him. But this clone had green eyes and was evil. It snuck its way onto the plane after everyone was on and hid among the cargo.

Once the plane got into the air Chris started the elimination ceremony. "Team Chris is really really really really hot, not a lot of teamwork going on tonight. Ezekiel, wasting time on a new haircut: not cool. Tyler, running off without your team; also bad. And of course Owen who ate the first alien artifact."

"I have marshmallows here for Noah and Ezekiel," the host said throwing the marshmallows. "So your both safe." As he said this both Tyler and Owen looked nervous.

"And the last person safe is…"

"…Tyler."

The jock caught the marshmallow as it was thrown to him and look relieved. Owen however looked saddened. He turned to the others. "But I thought we were all friends! Why would you vote for me?"

"Sorry big guy," Noah said feeling guilty. "But you're just bringing the team down. We don't need the dead weight."

Purple Owen slouched. "I understand." He took the parachute from Chris. "I'm rooting for you guys! I hope one of you wins!" The three waved goodbye as Owen jumped out of the plane.

As the elimination was over the three remaining contestants walked back to loser class. Noah however pulled back for a moment and took something out of his pocket. It was the lightsaber from the challenge. "I think I'll hold onto this for now." He said before putting it safely back in his pocket.

Meanwhile Chris was having an angry phone conversation in his private quarters. "No it was ridiculous! There wasn't any drama at all! And they voted out Owen. Owen! Can you believe that? Listen man, you've got to do me this solid. I need him! Without any drama this show will sink! Can you hook me up?" There was silence as he waited for an answer. "Really? Nice! Yes, that should definitely get the ball rolling…"

A/N: Reviews are appreciated.