FLOYNTERxxx - he does, but the thing is, will Tom listen to him?
370 Toms POV
I stayed where I was all night, trying to convince myself that everything was a lie, that that kiss had meant nothing to Danny, that he didn't mean any part of his speeches. I wanted so badly to believe him, but I couldn't, too scared to, too scared to be hurt again, to fall into the trap again and realise yet again that it was all wrong.
Before I knew it, it was morning, and I had to get out of bed, because we had a photoshoot to do today. Perfect, just perfect. Probably meant that I had to be touched and had to pretend that we were happy, that everything was okay, while still convincing myself it was all an act. It was not real, I must not enjoy it, it was a fake, and I couldn't ever believe that it was real. It would hurt even more if I made myself believe it was real, even though I knew it was not.
All too soon, we were all in the car again, I got in the front with Tommy, avoiding sitting next to any of the trio in the back, not wanting to be talked to. I didn't want to be talked to today, didn't want to spend so much time with the voice inside me snarling that it was all a lie. Luckily, no-one tried to talk to me, just left me to sit in my seat and listen to music, pretending that I wasn't there. Good, you shouldn't be here anyway. Here we go, the voice was waking up, telling me the truth, that I really didn't want to hear. You need to, you can't get big headed, it would be wrong. Good point.
"game faces on boys, we're here." Tommy announced in between songs, I pulled my earphones out and got out, letting Danny hold onto my right, clean wrist, his hands feeling so soft and gentle, like he was handling a baby. You're not a baby, he thinks you're a baby. "so, feeling better today?" Danny asked politely, smiling a little at me. "no, don't want to talk about it." My skin was crawling already in anticipation of todays photoshoot, knowing I was going to be stared at, the pictures posted everywhere, as per usual. I hoped to god I had long sleeves to wear, I didn't exactly want to reveal the bandage on my arm.
Soon, we met the photographer, finding that it was Misha Collins again, oh cr*p. "boys, hello again! Now please tell me that you've cheered up a bit since last time!" Misha gave me a dirty look, nice going, just standing there makes him angry. Today was going to be a long one, wasn't it? "yeah, we're cheered up." Danny growled, putting on a protective front, he didn't have to, I could look after myself. "good! Now come along, we're doing another simple shoot, just you guys, no props, no fancy outfits." Misha babbled for a while, showing us the plain background again, similar to the last one. "now, go and get changed, shooting starts in 30 minutes!" Misha wandering off eventually, leaving us to run and get changed (in separate rooms, thank god) into black suits before running back again.
"I think we'll do a few group shots first, so if you could stand in a line over there for me, maybe put your arms around each other." Misha directed us, I bit back a whimper, not wanting to have peoples arms around me. But I had to, just for today, and for the rest of your life. D*mn! "don't look so worried Tom, its okay, its only me." Danny whispered, hiding it in a kiss to my ear as his arms wound around my waist, pulling me close to his own body.
Its an act, its an act, its an act! Don't think its real affection! The voice, and my own head, shouted as I automatically leant against him, letting him warm me up a bit. Smile, don't look scared, you're getting caught on camera! I forced a smile, trying not to lean back into Dannys warm arms even more, tangle our fingers together, or even hold his fingers. But I already felt so scared, just seeing these cameras, seeing the flashes, knowing these were going to be posted everywhere, so people could look at me and say everything bad about me, point out every single floor on my body. I was too skinny, my chin was huge, my hair was greasy and stupid, my eyes were too big and too brown, my dimple was too deep! Everything was wrong, and everyone could see it, literally everyone could see it, and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't even look away, I would get shouted at for looking away. Misha was already looking annoyed, I couldn't look away and make him angrier.
"stop shaking Tom, its okay. Just tell me if I'm too close, I'll back off a bit." Danny shuffled back a little, it felt like I was going to fall over without his support. "no, come closer, please." I whimpered, cursing myself for making that sound pathetic. But I needed to keep standing upright, act like I wasn't shaking in complete and utter fear, that we were still a couple, if Danny let me go, I was going to collapse! "sorry, I'm so sorry, but come closer, please." I whispered, feeling Dannys body practically plaster itself to my own, his arms tightening around my tiny waist, it almost hurt his arms were so tight. You'll be punished for this later, making him touch your disgusting self, after you've broken up. Are you really that desperate for love you're now using being scared like a baby as an excuse? Great one, really, really, good one.
371 Dannys POV
I didn't know what was up with Tom, but whatever it was, it broke my heart. Poor Tom was shaking so much, literally quivering in my arms, like he was about to pass out again. He looked pale enough to pass out again. I felt so sorry for him, he didn't know where to look or what to do, he was surrounded by the things he hated the most, people, cameras, and us. I knew he hated us so much for 'having an affair' even though it wasn't true, and no matter what I said right now it wasn't going to help him. All I could do was hug Tom close to me, because he had asked for it, and hope it would help in some way.
It was a long first half of the photo shoot, all I could feel was Tom shaking, and hear tiny muffled sounds coming from his throat, like he was keeping in whimpers and tears. "shhh, shhh. It'll be over soon. No-ones going to say anything about you, you looked perfect." I whispered gently, needing to say something before he did break into tears. Tom was perfect, I wish he could see that he was so perfect, he didn't need to have these worries about his looks, he was perfect and worth the world. "right, I think we'll have a break now. I'm calling lunch break, we'll meet back here in about an hour for some solo shots." Misha thankfully called, I could almost feel Tom relax for a second, until the idea of lunch obviously hit his mind. "come on, you need something." I grabbed his hand before he ran off somewhere, pulling him behind me as I followed Harry and Dougie.
The three of us filled up our plates with food again, painfully reminding me of our first photoshoot again. Things hadn't changed much at all. Me and Tom weren't together, barely even talking to each other, the poor boy clearly in the middle of an internal battle, not even able to look at the food on offer to him. And all these cameras and people being around weren't helping, and probably it wasn't about to get better, when Misha called for Toms solo shots.
Sitting down at a table, we ate in relative silence, unlike the first photoshoot. Harry was fussing over Dougies suit in between mouthfuls, straightening his tie and smoothing out his jacket. Dougie just let him, knowing it was something he did when he was nervous, or trying not to worry about something. "you know, if you're hair was just a bit shorter, and you had eye liner on, you would exactly like you did on our wedding day." Harry commented, tucking a bit of fringe behind Dougies ear. He didn't have his headband on today, had it tied around his wrist, the mass of hair was now left to fall freely around Dougies face. Luckily, he had mostly tucked it behind his ears, so it was still possible for us to see his face. "you think?" Dougie smiled a bit, blushing a little.
"yep, bit of a trim, bit of eye liner, then, boom! 21 year old little Dougie on his wedding day all over again." Harry grinned, eyes shining with love. "thanks." Dougie blushed a little, leaning forward as Harry did, until they kissed gently. Jealousy shot through me like a lightning bolt, I wished that me and Tom were still together, so we could kiss like that, so I could hold Toms hand, and hug him, without having to worry whether or not it would freak him out. I could only hold him while we were on camera, and that was only because we had to, I hated it!