Oh my gosh guys, it took one review for me to finally have one hundred reviews and almost 20,000 views!
Hundred some favorites and followers!
I am so happy that you guys really like this story, and I'm extremely happy that you guys are really wanting it to keep on going.
Thanks to a reviewer I got a few more chapters than I planned out for you all.
I didn't think this story deserved that much attention.. It's seriously not any good guys.. Unless it really is and I didn't realise it.
Here's a chapter, that hopefully will explain a few things.
ENJOY!

Reactions of the Idiot King
Chapter twenty-one: Recallations

When Arthur heard that Merlin had finally awoken he stopped what he was doing and went strait to Gaius's chambers. He was going to see his ex manservant, whether Gaius claimed he was well enough or not. He had to go through five years to realise that banishing him was a mistake he shouldn't have made, and that he had to explain to Merlin. Before he had the chance to knock on the door of Gaius's chambers, Gaius opened the door, stepping back in surprise at seeing the King.
"Arthur." Gaius said, sounding somewhat relieved. "I was just going to get you- Merlin, he's awake... But he's not-"
"I don't care if he's not well enough or what, all I know is that I am going to see him right now." Arthur snapped, his mind to busy to process what Gaius had said.
"No, I was coming to get you so you may speak to him." Gaius said, looking suddenly uncomfortable as he waved Arthur in. "He won't say a word to anyone of us."
"Who's us?" Arthur asked in surprise.
"Gwaine, Percival, Leon, Guinevere and Elyan." Gaius said, "They left earlier, but he wouldn't say a word."
"Not even for you?" Arthur asked, "But why?" Gaius shrugged, Arthur noting that something was extremely wrong, and Gaius just wasn't saying it.
"Go into his chambers and just talk to him." Gaius murmured as he grabbed his basket full of medicine.
"I will Gaius." Arthur said, walking up to the boy's room without another word. He opened the door and walked into Merlin's room, looking at the pale, fragile looking man in the bed, who didn't show any sign of hearing Arthur walk in.
"Merlin." Arthur murmured softly, looking at the poor boy. "It's me, Arthur. Will you please-"
"If you're going to kill me, Arthur," Merlin's voice was barely audible, his soft voice filled with a lot of regret, pain, and most of all, it was filled with fear, "Don't hesitate and kill me now."
"I have no desire to, Merlin." Arthur said, almost hurt by Merlin's words.
"I can't take being banished anymore Arthur, please." Merlin sat up a bit, looking at Arthur with pained and almost lifeless eyes. The fact that the eyes held nothing in them scared Arthur more than anything.
"You won't be banished either," Arthur's voice came out firm, despite the turmoil that he was feeling deep in his gut. "I am going to hear your story out Merlin. It was a mistake banishing you, I acted rashly and wasn't thinking. Merlin, I've missed you so damn much, your lateness, your retorts, it made me feel like a normal person not just a king, because you didn't care about my status ever. Not once-"
"I'm something your father taught you to hate, no matter what." Merlin looked halfway taken aback at the King's sudden rush of emotions. "It was a risk I took." The king noticed Merlin's voice trembling.
"Will you tell me what happened while you were ba-gone?" Arthur said quickly.
"What part?" Merlin murmured, sounding even more quiet.
"Everything." Arthur said. Merlin took a deep breath in, looking at the King.
"I couldn't talk." Merlin whispered. "I was scared if I spoke I'd fall apart, Arthur. Wh-when Gwaine came in here, he was so worried- asking questions-"
"Will you speak to me?" Arthur murmured. "Will you trust me?"
"No Arthur." Merlin whispered. "I can't trust you."
"But why?" Arthur snapped.
"Because you prat," Merlin murmured, "I don't know how you shall react to this yet." With that, Merlin started from when he came to Camelot, explaining everything, not daring to lie to the King once again.
They spent a good few hours there, Merlin speaking without looking at the king once. The king noticed that at some parts, the man looked guilty, or regretful, especially when he spoke of Morgana. When he heard an unfamiliar name, his interest perked up, and he saw an expression he had seen in several people before. The feeling of loss took over Merlin's expression, and within it was an even greater pain.
"Then I ended up finding Freya." Merlin said as he transitioned from one story to the next, not realising that he had spoke the name until after he said it.
"Who's Freya?" Arthur asked, "I don't remember anyone of the sorts." Merlin avoided his gaze. "Merlin, tell me, what happened to her?"
"It's nothing." Merlin whispered softly, unable to stop a tear from rolling down his face. Arthur shook his head, moving from the chair he had sat down in to sitting on the foot of the bed.
"It clearly bothers you." Arthur murmured, "Please, I'd like to hear everything." Merlin nodded slightly then continued with the story of the only girl he has loved, and how she was a monster at night, and that Arthur killed her. Then he continued on, explaining the day he was caught, how he had panic and fear hit him in a way it never had. Merlin just kept talking, unaware that he was completely wrapped up in his memories as he spoke.

Merlin had decided to go to the furthest place from Camelot after being banned. His mind was too numb to feel much, and he was growing annoyed at the worried dragon that kept moping around. He wondered why he ever called the Great dragon, as if he was ever any help anyways. It had only been a day they were camped in the middle of some mountains that Merlin finally snapped.
"Killigarrah, will you stop looking at me like that!?" Merlin yelled, turning to the dragon. "I'm getting so sick of this, you treat me as if I'm a helpless old man unable to even move without falling!"
"I worry for your health. You haven't slept, haven't eaten-"
"I don't need the worry." Merlin snarled. "I'm just fine. I don't need your concern."
"Listen to me, young warlock." Merlin glared at him sharply and he finally frowned sharply.
"You listen to me, it's not the other way around." Merlin growled, barking an order at him in the dragon language. He saw the dragon's eyes flash with pain and worry, the dragon giving a sharp growl as he took off. Merlin took a deep breath, and with the dragon finally gone, he couldn't keep his emotions in anymore, and collapsed on the ground sobbing.
Merlin felt a hole in his chest slowly grow as he realised that Arthur hated him, and that he'd never fulfill his destiny. Unconsciousness took over him swiftly after dusk fell over him, the man having cried himself to sleep.

So maybe this didn't answer a lot of questions. Just kinda a starter to Merlin's memories, which are in italics of course.
I really love that you guys like my story.. It kinda keeps me hooked onto reality knowing that I can write and that there is a reason I'm writing.
I owe this story to all of you guys who took the time to stay this far in the story.
Sincerely, ROTIK's author,
Kizzy M. Kizmet