LeilaTheGalaxyDefender - well we'll see if Tom can get any help now!
FLOYNTERxxx - hmm now it would be telling if i said if Tom gets better when he comes back to his senses! i've got stuff planned... *evil laugh*
388 Dannys POV
I hated leaving Tom by himself in hospital, he should have been coming home with us, he shouldn't have been cutting anyway. It was my fault he was, I shouldn't have just rushed into telling Tom my song was about him this morning, it was a huge mistake, I should have never even thought of going about it in that way. I should have gone about talking to him in a completely different way, should have talked to him like we were just bouncing ideas off each other, and then told him it was about him. I had just been so excited to show Tom this song, and tell him it was about him, that I loved him, that I couldn't help myself, I rushed into it too fast and made Tom react like that.
Now, it was my fault he was in hospital, after nearly dying, so unaware of his surroundings, so dependent on other people, Tom didn't even know that he was supposed to hate me right now for 'cheating' on him. In a way, I wished he did, so I wasn't dreading him remembering, and forcing me away. But, I sort of loved Tom seemingly not remembering what happened, so he would hug me, liked to be with me, wasn't glaring at me all the time, he simply talked to me. I wished that Tom wouldn't remember it at all, so we could continue our lives like normal. It was all I wanted, Tom to be in my arms, to be happy, carefree, smiling, laughing. Just being Tom.
"Danny, stop worrying will you? Toms going to be fine. Carries with him, and as long as Carrie is with him, then he'll be fine." Harry snapped me out of my worries, using a fake jokey tone. "I can't help it. I need to know Toms okay." I sighed, worrying half to death. Tom wasn't going to be okay, if he realised he was in a hospital, he was going to go nuts. He hated being in hospitals. If he realised, he was going to go mental! I couldn't just sit back on watch that happen without at least worrying!
"he will be, Carrie has it covered, and the doctors will help out too. It will be fine." Harry reassured, pulling up to the house. "but its a hospital! And Tom doesn't know where he is! If he realises where he is, then Toms going to end up freaking out so much! I hate knowing Toms somewhere he hates, bound to realise where he is soon! He can't handle things like that, and he's worse now!" I whimpered uselessly, getting out, automatically going to Toms house, as always, but it was so empty now. Like when he ran away, it was empty, just a shell, knowing he wasn't here, he was somewhere he hated, even feared, I couldn't do this.
I couldn't just sit here, knowing Tom was so far away from home, he hated hospitals more than anything in the world. I just wanted to run back to the hospital, and bring Tom home. We could look after him, better than anyone, and we could stop him from panicking when he realised he was in hospital. Couldn't we have just stayed there? I hated being home already, couldn't we go back again?
"Danny, are you staying here tonight?" Harry asked, making me jump. "what? Oh, erm...no, probably not the best idea. I just automatically came here." I shook my head, sleeping in Toms house without him here? It was impossible, knowing I was in my lovers house, while he was in hospital, so ill. "alright, well, come home instead then. Want us to stay round?" Harry got hold of my hand, leading me back to my own house.
"no, I don't want to do anything that could trigger him remembering. Tom doesn't seem to remember what happened at the moment. I don't want him remembering for as long as possible." I shook my head, going to bed by myself, being plagued by nightmares all night long that made my arms crawl and scream out for sharp objects.
389 Toms POV
"Carrie." I whispered, catching her attention. "yes Tom?" she answered, looking up from her breakfast, at the stupidly early time of 9am, I usually wasn't up this early, was I? "why am I here?" I asked, eating another mouthful of cereal. It tasted disgusting, but, I felt hungry, and after some encouragement from Carrie, I had started eating it a few minutes ago. "erm, I don't think I can answer that." Carrie looked awkward, her face falling to look at her own bowl of cereal. "why not? What happened to me?" I honestly couldn't remember what happened to me, I just remembered crying, running and crying, then...blackness, until I woke up here.
"I don't think its a good idea to tell you, thats all. I don't want you to worry." Carrie answered, not looking up to face me. You did something, something bad. "but I can't remember." I whimpered, wanting to know what happened to me. "its probably for the best you don't remember." Carrie sighed, what had I done? "please, tell me. I did something wrong, didn't I?" I pleaded, looking down at the itchy bandage on my arm, scratching at it. "don't scratch at it! We've already told you that!" Carrie warned, grabbing my hand. "sorry. Its itchy." I hung my head, feeling stupid, again. Because you are stupid. "I know, but you must not scratch at the bandage! Its bad!" Carrie glared at me, I felt the urge to cry. Don't you dare cry. "sorry." I gulped down the urge, feeling my thighs itch instead.
"morning! Glad to see you awake now Thomas!" a nurse came in, Carrie held on tighter to my hand. "morning!" Carrie smiled, who was this woman? "everything okay this morning? Any numbness, or loss of control of your arm?" this nurse asked, getting hold of my arm and pulling it towards herself, unravelling the itchy bandage from it. "no, its been fine... what the hell is that?!" I answered, shouting when I saw what the bandage unravelled. A massive row of cuts, each one looking deeper than the last, each one had a row of stitches in them, holding each side of my skin together.
Why did I do that to myself?! What did I do? Did I make Danny angry and shout at me? But how? I had thought we were happy with each other! "this is what you did to yourself yesterday before you came here Thomas." The nurse replied, getting out a few pieces of cotton wool, dabbing them in something that stank, keeping a firm grip on my arm. "but, but, why?" I whimpered, trying to pull my arm back, look closely at the stitches, desperately trying to remember what had happened!
"I don't know why, maybe you should discuss this with your sister after I have finished cleaning these up." The nurse answered, dabbing the cotton wool on my arm, on top of the cut. It stung like hell! It was like my whole arm was burning, pain running up and down it like lightening. I screamed in pain, writhing to get out of her grip on me, but she never let go. Carries arms were soon holding me still, making me endure this pain, the pain that was so much like when I was making those cuts...
I burst through the front door, running as fast as possible past Carrie, slamming the door to my bedroom, locking myself in before Danny or Carrie got to me. Its all a lie, a pure lie! You are not loved, the song is not true, its all a lie! You can't be loved! You're worthless you are not able to be loved! But why was is getting harder and harder to believe that?! Why was this so hard to believe?!
My head exploded with emotion, making me feel like I was going to explode. Everything was closing in on me, crushing me. I scrambled for my razor blade, needing to feel everything go away and fade into blackness. Before I knew it, I was on the floor, digging the razor as far as possible into my arm. Dig deeper, go on, dig deeper. I did, digging in as deep as possible, feeling myself relax, the emotions flowing out of me as darkness fell over me, just as the door opened.
It came back to me within seconds, hitting me right in the face. Danny had cheated on me! He had cheated on me and had lied to me for years! But he was still trying to make me believe he loved me, had written a song to tell me to love him! Why did he do this?! Why was this happening!? Because you're worthless and repulsive. He feels sorry for you, so he dated you to make you feel better. But, I had thought he loved me! I thought we were meant to be! Why did Danny cheat on me?!