Guest - *hands Tom over for a hug* :)

392 Dannys POV

Toms voice as he pleaded us to stop lying to him broke my heart, he was so hurt by all of this, having had it suddenly come back to him, it must have been like he had been slapped or something. I couldn't even imagine what he was going through right now. "we're not lying though Tommy, I never cheated on you. I swear, I never cheated on you." I whispered, trying to be gentle, running my fingers over the ridge where his knees were. "stop lying to me! Please, go away! I don't want you here anymore!" Tom cried, his voice filled with tears. "Tom, it could be a good idea to listen to what everyones saying." Carrie advised, shuffling over a bit, taking over my spot, breaking the contact I had had with him for the past few minutes.

I was already craving Toms hugs again, he had been so loving yesterday. For the first time in ages, Tom had leant on me first, hugged me first, had spoken to me, asked questions. He had almost been normal Tom, he had just been a bit slow and a bit dependant on us, that was it, now, he hated us again, because he remembered what happened. I was so stupid to believe that he wouldn't remember for a while longer, of course Tom would remember! But I had hoped that I could have him back, just for a few days, so I had some time to come up with an actual convincing argument, or at least have some time with my lover, when he wasn't shouting at me, or crying.

"don't want to hear it." Toms head shook from side to side under the duvet. "why not?" I asked, why couldn't we just explain what happened? "its lies." Tom answered simply, snivelling, probably trying to hold in tears. "its not though Tommy, its the truth!" I crawled closer, needing Tom to realise that it was true. I would have never even thought of cheating on him, Tom was the only person I had ever loved, why couldn't he just let me explain what happened? Couldn't he see that it was true? I know what he saw wasn't exactly the best looking thing in the world, but, surely, he knew that I loved him, right? He surely knew me well enough to know that I wouldn't do something like that to him, or was his brain just completely not functioning at all right now? I didn't know, I just knew that I needed to find a way that Tom could understand, so I could explain to him what happened.

"I'm not Tommy!" Tom whined, pulling his duvet over his head more. "sorry, but Tom, please, let us explain what happened. It'll make sense if you let us." I pleaded, wanting to cry now myself. There were still sounds of tears being held in from under the duvet, the whole thing clearly shaking, and we were getting nowhere. I just wanted Tom back, to have the poor guy in my arms again, so I could look after him, stop him crying, stop him being so scared, just stop him from feeling so low.

"no! Leave me alone! Go away! I don't want to know!" Toms cries got more intense, I unwillingly backed off a little, joining Harry and Dougie, not wanting to make Tom even worse. "okay, okay. Calm down Tom, we won't talk about it for a while." Carrie hugged her brother shaped duvet lump, gently pulling the duvet from his head, revealing Toms face, covered in tears, with his hair all over the place. Immediately, Tom hid in Carries embrace, holding her like he would have with me a few years ago, that bandage on his arm gleaming, even through the blue sleeve thing the hospital had put on it.

393 Toms POV

I couldn't help it, I needed to hug someone, someone who still liked me, someone I still trusted. "shh, its okay Tom. Stop crying, its okay." Dannys hand rested on my shoulder. "go away! Stop lying!" I whimpered, shaking his hand off. "but I'm not lying." Danny mumbled, he is, don't believe him. "you are! Go away! I don't want you here anymore!" I cried, wanting Danny, Harry and Dougie to just go away. I wanted them to stop pretending, stop making it seem like nothing happened, like I didn't see them in bed together. So many things were coming back to me, so many different things all of the boys had said to me, around me, the fact that they were pretending around me staring me in the face.

"sorry Tommy, are you sure you want us to go?" Danny asked, thankfully not touching me again. "yes! Go away! Get out and stop lying to me!" I tried to not look like this was breaking me apart inside, my arms and legs itching and screaming out more than I was. "alright, we'll go, sorry for upsetting you." Danny sighed, stroking my hair gently. I shoved his hand away, hiding away in Carries arms. "bye Tom, bye Carrie." Harry got up too, bringing Dougie with him. "we're sorry, feel better soon Tom." Dougie whispered, walking out with his husband and his lover, clinging needily to the drummer.

Even after they went, I was crying needily, I had forgotten this yesterday, completely forgotten about Dannys cheating, how we were having to pretend we were still together every time we went out, Dannys song, his lies, everything. Then this morning, the freight train hit, punching out my insides, a million and one memories of moments where I had seen Danny, Harry or Dougie do something, say something, anything that would hint that I wasn't wanted, that I wasn't good enough. Just so maybe I would get the picture, that I wasn't meant to be here, that everything was just a lie, because I was pathetic.

"shhh, they're gone now, they're gone. There's no need to cry anymore." Carrie whispered, hugging my waist gently, like Danny would have done. "b-but he cheated on me!" I whimpered, scratching the blue thing the hospital had put on my arm. "I know he did, I know. Now come on, how about we do something to cheer you up? Wanna go and draw?" Carrie asked, I shook my head. All my drawings revolved around Danny with his real lovers, with me in the corner, out of the way, being a pointless waste of space.

"alright, wanna write a song then? I know you have one on the go, wanna carry on writing?" Carrie suggested, I nodded. "alright, wheres your book?" Carrie got my book and my guitar, letting me go. I wiped my tears, grabbing the guitar and my book. Carrie stayed with me, watching me write hurriedly in my book, playing and writing, releasing my emotions a bit. My insides were still twisting and turning, shredding to bits, making everything scream out for razors and sharp objects. I just needed sharp things, lots and lots of sharp things. You would have thought I would have learnt from my previous mistake, that landed me in hospital, but I needed the sharp objects, I needed to release the emotions inside me, before I exploded.

I was thinking so much, and writing at the same time, trying not to think about the performance we had to do in a few days. I didn't want to have to pretend, or have to see Danny, I hated having to warn myself constantly that it wasn't real, I wasn't supposed to enjoy it. I wasn't having a happy ending, things were going to be hidden from me all the time. We weren't going to talk it over either, because I would only be lied to. I was not going to be lied to anymore, and I wasn't going to be having a happy ending, I wasn't having anything.