FLOYNTERxxx - well i'll see what i can do to cheer them up a bit :)
Guest - thank you! and i guess i get a bit carried away with it, and its all good practice for me, because one of my main goals in life is to be a published author so i like to get in practice for writing really lengthy things now! xD
396 Dannys POV
The lyrics span through my mind, haunting me for hours, just imagining Toms pain, he was totally broken inside, crying by himself. I had caused this, caused all this pain, made him fall to pieces, broke his heart into shards. It was all my fault, completely my fault, how was I so stupid? I was ridiculously stupid, for doing this to my boyfriend, the only person I had ever loved, my first and only boyfriend. The boy who made my knees go weak, pterodactyls run riot inside my stomach, my whole body tremble with just a smile. How could I do this to him? And then wish that he would become worse, so he was easier to handle and cuddle, because he didn't remember, what kind of a person was I to think this? I had turned Tom into a beautiful disaster, and I couldn't fix him.
I curled up on the sofa, hugging the pillow Tom usually laid on, trying to wrap my head round the fact that I had caused all of this, and now couldn't fix it. I couldn't fix Tom, no matter how hard I tried, he wasn't going to pay attention to someone he hated. I didn't even want to look at the other song, not wanting see more of his heartbreak, but at the same time, I wanted to. So I could come up with some way to help him, but I didn't want to read and hear how much he was hurting, but I wanted to get him back again. But, what if I hurt him again? I couldn't hurt him again. It wouldn't be fair, would it? No, it wouldn't be fair, to set him up, the whole time the back of his mind shouting at him that I would hurt him again, only for it to come true.
All I wanted was for Tom to forget what happened, or for him to go back in time to see what really happened, if he could see what really happened, he would believe me. Everything would be okay if Tom believed me, we would be happy again, hopefully he would want to be with me again, so we could be in each others arms again. I missed Tom so much, I just wanted him back, in whatever state he was in, I just wanted him back in my arms.
"cheer up Dan, we'll think of something." Harry sighed, leaning on the sofa from his spot on the floor. "but what? We've tried! We've tried talking to him, we tried making a song for him, we've tried so many things!" I cried, we had tried so many different ways, and Tom never listened, he ignored everything we said, saying it was all lies. I wished that Tom wasn't so d*mn stubborn, that he was able to think straight, so he could see that I wasn't lying to him. "Danny, theres always a way, always." Dougie encouraged, his childish hope was honestly heart breaking. The guy was still innocent enough to think that there was a way to fix this, I didn't think there was. I couldn't think of a way that would make Tom understand that I loved him and nothing happened, there wasn't a way.
"there isn't Doug, we've tried everything, there isn't a way." I shook my head, staring at the paper with Toms songs on. They had been placed on the table, and now they were staring me in the face, taunting me, telling me to read them. "theres always a way Dan, we always think of something. And you know Tom better than anyone, you'll come up with something." Dougie smiled, full of confidence and sincerity. "yeah, maybe, if I'm lucky. If not this is going to carry on forever." I deflated even more against the sofa, staying there all night, not even wanting to move.
I barely touched my dinner that night, not wanting to eat, not wanting to do anything. I just wanted to cuddle with Tom, that was it. "well, we're going to go home, see you in the morning. We're rehearsing tomorrow anyway, we might come up with something then." Harry encouraged, standing up and stretching. "yeah, maybe." I sighed, standing up too, because I had to, just to be polite if nothing else. "we will, we'll come up with something. Night Danny." Dougie hugged me, giggling when I ruffled his hair playfully. "night guys. See you in the morning." I smiled as well, unable to not when hearing Dougie giggle. It was like seeing Tom smile, just a hint of the dimple was enough to make me smile.
"see you later." Harry opened the door, giving me a hug before grabbing Dougies hand, tickling his side to make him laugh again. "see you guys." I smiled again, watching them go down the road, before flopping onto my sofa. The lyrics were looking at me again, telling me to read them, they were going to be good, no matter what they were about, I knew that much. Should I read them? Or should I leave it, so I didn't get hurt? I had to read them though, in a way, so I had a good idea how Tom was feeling, though Behind These Hazel Eyes had given me a good idea already. Oh, I had to read them! This was Toms lyrics, they were incredible, always incredible.
I grabbed the paper, looking over the lyrics, and my heart shattered.
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh, oh...
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Oh oh, oh oh
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the sh*t that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
so much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
so much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh...
397 Toms POV
"Tom, time to get up! You've got rehearsals today!" Carrie shook my shoulders, waking me from my dreamless sleep. "no, sleepy!" I whined, rolling onto my stomach. "I know you are, but its rehearsal day! You've got to go cause you need to practise for your performance next week!" Carrie carried on shaking me, until I turned over, showing signs of life. "ugh I don't want to." I moaned, not wanting to spend time with my band mates. I didn't want to spend time with them, pretending that everything was okay, at least we weren't in front of cameras today, so we didn't have to pretend that much. Don't forget, they've been looking at your songs too, they'll rip them to shreds.
"yeah, I know. Want me to come with you today, for moral support?" Carrie asked, sitting down next to me as I sat up. "do you have to do anything today?" I didn't want to ruin her day, by making her follow me around. "no, there's nothing for me today." Carrie shook her head, so I agreed, going and getting ready to go out.
We met Danny, Harry and Dougie outside at 10am, they were already in the minivan, ready and waiting for us. You kept them waiting, nice job. "I'm coming with you today boys, move over!" Carrie playfully pushed Danny over as she clambered into the car, leaving me to get in the front again pushing my headphones into my ears. Everything went silent apart from my music, I had put on the saddest songs on my iPod, because they matched my mood the best. Listening to happy songs didn't cheer me up at all, just made me realise how much life sucked for me, it was better for me to listen to sad songs, because they matched me at the moment.
Getting to the studio, I hid myself in a corner with my guitar, deciding to ignore the conversation that was happening. Don't talk unless you're talked to. I wasn't going to, why would I talk to my 'best friends' all of whom were having an affair? I may have liked to hurt myself, but giving myself heart ache? I wasn't that stupid. "Tom, we went over your songs you gave us yesterday." Harry turned to me, stroking Dougies hair as he cuddled the drummer, not even looking at me. He can't even look at you, you're that repulsive. "they're really good, really, really good." Danny carried on, looking around the room awkwardly, rubbing his arm, pulling his sleeves down further over his hands.
As he did that, the fabric pulled taught over his arm, revealing a ridge, a ridge similar to my own. It was the clear sign of a bandage caused ridge. He's self harmed again, you probably caused it too, you always cause bad things to happen. I stared at his arm, trying to see if I could tell how long it was, see if I could work out how many cuts there were. Was it weird I felt a bit disappointed in him for doing this? Danny had been doing so well, until you came along and messed it up, I knew sending those songs to them was a bad idea, and did you listen? No, of course not, you never do.
"did you hear me Tom? I said the songs were really good." Danny repeated, looking at his arm, crossing them and hiding the ridge. "yeah, what did you change then?" I asked, besides from everything? "nothing, nothing at all. They were amazing." Danny answered, edging a little closer to Harry and Dougie. Dougie still didn't look up, holding onto Harry like it was the only thing he could do. "don't lie, what did you change?" I knew he was lying, without the voice telling me, I wasn't good at writing songs, there was surely something he changed.
"no, nothing at all. Got any more?" Danny shook his head, starting to chew on his sleeves. "no." I answered simply. "don't lie Tom! You've got the one you wrote yesterday!" Carrie smiled, what was she doing?! "thats not a song." I glared at her, we were not using that song! That was my song, no-one was hearing it, seeing it, anything! "it is! And its awesome! I think you should play it for the performance!" Carrie grinned, I was regretting bringing her now.
the song this time around is My Happy Ending by Avril Lavigne