Thirty

It had been three days since Maya and Zuko had yelled at one another, and, honestly, Maya had had it. She was done. She was over it. She had wanted nothing more than to get as far away from Zuko as possible, but, unfortunately, there was no port in sight. They had been sailing for seventy-two hours straight, and it had been the longest seventy-two hours of Maya's life. She had holed herself up in her room for as many hours as possible each day, but this form of self-torture was driving her slowly insane. Eventually, she decided she'd had enough and went up on deck to get some fresh air.

Unfortunately, Zuko was there. She hesitated when she heard his voice, but then, with a huff, she stomped up onto the deck anyways. She was tired of hiding any time he got anywhere near her. It was time to let this argument go. Zuko was calling Uncle crazy at the moment.

"Why is he crazy this time?" she asked, and tried unsuccessfully to suppress a smile when Zuko jumped at the sound of her voice.

He turned slowly to glare at her, but did not reply.

"I told him that there was a storm coming," Uncle said. "He did not believe me."

Maya looked around at the ocean and the sky. Everything was completely calm. At first, she was also inclined to call him crazy, but then she remembered something. "Actually, I think Uncle is right, Zuko. The weather was just like this the day my ship was attacked by pirates before you found me. A few hours later, I was in a lifeboat, trying not to drown while giant waves knocked into me from all sides."

"Whatever. You don't know anything," he muttered.

Uncle sighed loudly and obviously. "I am getting tired of listening to you two argue like an old, married couple."

Maya put her hands into the air in a conciliatory manner. "Me too, Uncle." She turned to Zuko. "Look, I'm willing to forgive and forget if you are."

He didn't respond.

After an awkward silence, Uncle broke in by saying, "The storm is coming from the north, so I suggest we head south-west to avoid it."

"The Avatar is heading north, so we will do the same," Zuko snapped.

Uncle tried a different tactic. "Think of the safety of the crew, Prince Zuko."

"The safety of the crew doesn't matter!"

Maya gasped. Even for Zuko, that seemed a bit harsh. There were at least twenty other men aboard this ship. How could he be so insensitive towards them?

Zuko turned to go back down below, but stopped suddenly. Maya looked up to see what was wrong. One of the lieutenants had come up, and, from the look on his face, he had probably heard what Zuko had just said. Zuko looked at him from across the prow, and then walked up to him and looked him in the eye, which Maya though was kind of funny because Zuko only reached his chin in height.

"Finding the Avatar is more important than any individual's safety," Zuko told him quietly, voice low and threatening, the way it got when he was dangerously close to killing someone by blasting them with a fireball. Then he walked away.

Later that day, Maya was back in her room trying to relax. She could tell already that it was going to be a stressful day, especially if Uncle really was right and there was a storm later. She was not looking forward to that. She had a feeling it would bring back bad memories.

Suddenly, she heard a slam down the hallway, and knew immediately that it was Zuko's door. Sighing, she began an internal battle with herself, trying to figure out whether or not she wanted to try and talk to him. She was sorely tempted to just leave him stewing in his room, but she felt like that would be giving up. She was going to figure out what was wrong with Zuko even if it killed her. At this point, she'd spent too much time aboard this ship to leave now.

Maya didn't know exactly why she wanted so badly to help Zuko. She had a nagging feeling that it had something to do with the fact that she and Zuko both had crappy childhoods, and that she just really wanted someone to relate to. But she brushed that off. It made her seem pathetic. So what was the next reason? She thought about it for a minute, and then blushed and threw that idea out also. How in the hell could she justify to herself having a crush on the biggest jerk she'd ever met outside of her father? No. That definitely wasn't it, either. She finally settled on the idea that maybe she was just doing it to be a good person, and with that, she walked down the corridor and knocked on his door.

After a few long seconds, she heard his voice through the metal door. "I know it's you, Maya," he said. "Go away!"

"No."

"Fine. Then stand there by yourself. I'm not gonna talk to you."

"Yes you are, Zuko. What happened this time?"

He did not answer.

"Zuko, open the door."

He still did not answer.

"Zuko! Tell me what happened!"

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

Sighing, Maya stalked away back to her room, but when she got there, suddenly she was horrified at the thought of spending any more time inside that claustrophobic place. She had to go up on deck. That plan, however, was also a flop. It had started raining already. She sighed again. Now what? she asked herself. A moment later, her grumbling stomach answered her. The kitchens, then.

When Maya entered the dining hall where she normally ate with Uncle and Zuko, she found it depressingly empty. She didn't feel like sitting by herself, so she turned around and headed farther down the corridor, to the mess hall where the crewmembers ate.

When she stepped in the doorway, the chatter died down momentarily and they all looked up at her. She looked around awkwardly, and then the chatter resumed and she sat down at a spot away from everyone else. She ate silently, staring down intently at her plate of food so as not to attract attention. She got the feeling that the other crewmembers didn't like her much. But how would she ever make friends if all she did was hide in the corner?

Just as she was contemplating whether or not to go over to the fire pit where all the others were sitting, she overheard one of the men say, "I'm tired of this kid! I'm sick of following his orders! I'm sick of chasing his Avatar! I mean, who does Zuko think he is?"

"Do you really want to know?" a different voice interrupted. It was Uncle.

Maya looked up from her food in surprise.

"General Iroh," the man who had spoken before said. "We were just –

"It's okay," Uncle interrupted, putting up a hand. "May I join you?"

"O-of course, sir."

As Uncle went and sat down beside the fire, he said, "Maya, you may want to come over here and listen, as well. I know you have wanted to know what Zuko's story is. This will be the first and last time I will tell any of you."

Slightly surprised, Maya got up out of her chair in the corner and dragged it over to the little fire pit. Once she was settled, Uncle began his tale:

"Try to understand," he said, stroking his beard in thought. "My nephew is a complicated young man. He has been through much. When he was fourteen, there was a meeting in the Fire Lord's war room. We were trying to come up with strategies to take over a part of the Earth Kingdom. When the meeting was about to start, I saw Zuko walking down the hallway towards the war room. He tried to go in, but the guards would not let him. I tried to console him by telling him that these kinds of meetings were boring and that he would not be missing anything if he did not attend, but he insisted that he be let in. He told me that if he was going to rule our nation one day, he wanted to learn as much as he could. It was a valid argument, so I let him in on the premise that he would not speak, as I did not want him to get into trouble.

"Everything went well for the first few minutes. That is, until one of the older men stood up and suggested his strategy. At that time, were up against the strongest benders and warriors that the Earth Kingdom had at its disposal. This man – I forget his name – wanted to put our forty-first division on the front line of battle, to be a distraction while the real attack would be mounted from the rear. However, as was pointed out, the forty-first division was made up of entirely new recruits. When someone mentioned this, the old man said that that was the point. He said, What better to use as bait than fresh meat? I was abhorred by this man's callous disregard for the lives of these soldiers. However, it would have been disrespectful for me to say anything, and so I remained silent."

At this point, Uncle gazed into the fire for a moment, and sighed. "Prince Zuko, however, had other ideas. He told the old man exactly what he thought of his plan. Those soldiers love and defend our nation, he said. How can you betray them? He was right, you see. But it was not his place to speak out, and there were… dire consequences. After Zuko's outburst in the meeting, the Fire Lord became very angry with him. He said that Prince Zuko's challenge of the general was an act of complete disrespect." Uncle's hands balled into fists. "And…" he turned his head down and away, eyes closed. "There was only one way to resolve this."

"Agni Kai," said one of the men. "A fire duel." Maya realized that the man who had spoken was the lieutenant from earlier in the day.

Uncle looked up. "That's right," he said, voice thick with an emotion that Maya could not pinpoint. "Zuko looked upon the old general he had insulted and declared that he was not afraid. But Zuko misunderstood. When he turned to face his opponent on the day of the Agni Kai, he was surprised to see it was not the general. Zuko had spoken out against the general's plan, but by doing so in the Fire Lord's war room, it was the Fire Lord whom he had disrespected. Zuko would have to duel his own father."

There were a few collective gasps as everyone around the fire pit registered this information. After a few moments of shocked silence, Uncle continued:

"When Zuko saw that it was his father who had come to duel him, he begged for mercy. But the Fire Lord would not yield. You will fight for your honor, he said. But Zuko refused to fight, as one can probably imagine. I'm sure he was horrified by the thought. I watched from the stands as Zuko broke down into tears, on his hands and knees, and begged his own father for forgiveness. The Fire Lord would not listen. You will learn respect, he said. And suffering will be your teacher."

At this point, Maya knew what was coming. She finally knew where Zuko had gotten his scar. She did not want to hear anymore. Her heart was pounding, she was sweating, and with a sob, she burst into tears and fled from the room, her plate of food crashing to the floor, forgotten. From somewhere, as if from a dream, she heard Uncle calling her, but she ignored him and kept running.

In her state of mind, she did not know where she was going or what she was going to do when she got there. But at some point in the next few minutes, she found herself pounding on Zuko's door, screaming his name and sobbing. A flood of unwanted memories had started in her mind, and there was no way to stop it.

Her mother, before she died, telling her to be strong. The look on her father's face the first time he burned her. The sound of him laughing. The smell of burning flesh, and the horror when she realized that it was her flesh that was burning. The searing, white-hot pain on her arms and legs and stomach every time he would add another burn. His screaming rages when she would try and fail to firebend. The begging for him to stop. The embarrassment and shame trying to keep anyone from seeing her scars and scabs. The restless nights in the streets when she finally ran away. The feeling she would get sometimes that maybe he was watching her…

"Maya!"

She gasped, and her vision finally focused again. She realized she was on the floor, looking up into Zuko's face.

"Maya, what the hell is wrong?" he asked, confusion and fear in his eyes. "What happened? Is it Uncle?"

She sat up and continued sobbing. "N-No, Zuko. Uncle… Uncle's fine. I –

But before she could continue, there was a loud crack of thunder and a flash of lightning, and the ship rocked dangerously back and forth. Maya looked into Zuko's eyes, feeling her own widen with fear. He stared at her for a moment, a pained expression on his face, like he didn't know what to do, and then he charged down the corridor and up the stairs to the deck, leaving her alone.