FLOYNTERxxx - its not gone too badly, we had the most interesting one by far and our group worked really well together. i'm getting a bit annoyed currently cause our team leader is being a bit douchey, but hey, i can't really change that and its one more day to go! also tomorrow if my group comes third or fourth we get £30, second we get £50, or £100 if we win, so its all currently going well! :D and its okay, and you might be waiting a while cause i keep it under wraps for a while ;)
400 Dannys POV
I couldn't wait to hear this, even just the instrumental version, just to hear Tom play was enough to excite me! It had been weeks since I had last heard Tom play, I loved hearing him play, almost as much as I loved hearing him sing, especially when there was a new song involved! Tom and Carrie whispered something to each other, Carrie handed Tom a guitar and went to the piano, making me even more excited. Even though I wasn't hearing Tom sing, I loved hearing his songs, especially when he was playing new stuff to me, his songs were perfect, even when they were about me breaking his heart.
Carrie started playing, the piano keys sound filling the room, and Tom joined in too with his guitar, it was a slow tune, but a haunting one, until it built up to the chorus. The chorus was heavy, like an explosion, it burst out and really grabbed attention, even people walking past the studio stopped to look in to see what was going on. It sounded beautiful, honestly, beautiful, probably with angsty lyrics that really stuck in the brain. It was perfect, even before I had heard the lyrics.
"wow, that was... incredible." I managed to say as the music stopped, though I still heard it inside my head, playing over and over. "that was, whats it called? And where are the lyrics? I think we've found performance song!" Tommy smiled, it seemed that Harry and Dougie were still a bit speechless. "it doesn't have a name yet. And I don't have the lyrics on me." Tom looked away awkwardly, fiddling with his guitar, plucking at random strings. "bring them tomorrow then! If the lyrics are as good as the instrumental, we've got an amazing song on our hands!" I encouraged, needing Tom to know that he had written a brilliant song. Knowing his mind, he hated it, or at least thought that it wasn't that good. He needed to know that it was brilliant!
"its not that good, just a load of random words and chords." Tom shook his head, fiddling with his sleeve, the one hiding his bandaged arm. "its still amazing. It really is. I think we should use it for your next performance." Tommy smiled, getting agreements from me, Harry, Dougie and Carrie. "but you haven't even seen the lyrics." Tom mumbled weakly, staring intently at his sleeve, his fingers only just poking out. "well, we'll be seeing them tomorrow, and then we'll know for sure that this is the song we've been looking for. But for now, I think thats it for today, lets get you boys home." Tommy was obviously trying to make Tom more confident by forcing him to do things, like show us this song properly, and perform it. Hopefully, it would give him some sort of confidence, or at least help him get some emotion out of his system.
Wordlessly, we scrambled into the minivan again, Carrie taking up Toms usual spot next to me, Tom staying in the front seat by himself, his iPod playing in his ears again. "Carrie, what is this song about?" I asked in whispers, paranoid Tom would hear me. "its like My Happy Ending, only a bit deeper, and a bit darker. Its really, really good. You'll smash the performance with it." Carrie explained, smiling. "sounds interesting. Can you get him to write up the lyrics, and the chords so we can learn it all?" I wondered what the lyrics could be, this was intriguing to say the least!
"yeah, sure. Though I think you should let Tom sing most of it, if not all of it. Its his song, his feelings, his voice really fits it. I think it would be best to let him sing all of it to be honest." Carrie advised, she had a point. "do you think it'll make him feel better too?" I whispered, could singing help him out as well? "maybe, I dunno. Sort it out between yourselves tomorrow, but, I think it'll be best to let Tom sing the most of it." Carrie shrugged, smiling reassuringly, like she knew that this could help. I guess she did know what was best, she spent the most time with Tom, she knew how his head worked, so maybe this was actually a good idea.
401 Toms POV
My evening was spent writing out the chords and everything that Danny, Harry and Dougie needed to play my new song, but I on purpose 'forgot' to write out the lyrics. I didn't want them to read the lyrics, maybe if I kept on forgetting to bring them we wouldn't have any time left to actually learn them? Would that work? Finally! A good plan. Don't ever let them see the lyrics, they'll laugh at them. Good, I finally had a bit of approval. Only a bit, we'll just see if this actually works.
I didn't sleep that night, like usual, I spent most of the night awake, drawing, perfecting some of my ideas. Or at least making them look less like complete messes. They won't ever be good. Well dur, I knew that, but this was for my own benefit, to just get rid of some of my thoughts. It was calming to draw, even though I wasn't drawing the happiest of things. "Tom, its time to- oh, you're already awake! How long have you been up for?" Carrie smiled, falling down next to me. "few hours." I lied, more like for the past 24 hours. "alright then, well, come on, the guys are going to be here in an hour. Have you got everything copied up and ready?" Carrie asked, pulling me downstairs. "yeah, all ready." I sighed, falling onto the floor next to the sofa, continuing to draw.
"awesome! I'm not coming with you today though, I've got a few things to do. Gunna be okay?" Carrie looked a bit worried, but still continued to smile. She is forcing that smile, she doesn't want you to say that you want her to come with you. "yeah, I'll be fine." I sighed again, not really wanting to go today, be all on my own, no-one with me to be on my side. It was me vs everyone else, the trio I used to call my boyfriend and best friends, Tommy, Darren, Richard, every single person we interacted with on a daily basis. It was horrible, only Carrie pretended to be on my side anymore, I just wanted someone to sit with, to talk to, to stand up with me, instead of against me, forcing me to do things. "good, thats good. Want any breakfast before you go?" Carrie grinned, told you, she's relieved that she is spending the day without you. "no, not hungry." I shook my head, feeling sick at the thought. I could still feel last nights dinner rolling around inside me, even though I had gotten rid of it, it was still there, somehow. I would unwillingly throw up for once if I ate another thing. "okay, well, just carry on drawing and watch these cartoons for a while, the guys will be round in a while." Carrie ruffled my carefully fixed hair, messing it up completely.
I fixed it again, and carried on drawing, like I was told. The cartoon on was Fairly Odd Parents, and I found myself finding some of the things being said funny, like the 'Icky Vicky' song being sung by Chip Skylark. It reminded me of when me and Danny singing it around his sister Vicky to wind her up, why couldn't we have that back? Why did this go so wrong? Couldn't we have been friends, why did I have to fall in love, and Danny had to hate me so much? Was I that unlikable that he couldn't even like me as a friend? I wished, so much, that I was likable, that I was better, that I was talented, beautiful, funny, smart, everything that made up a nice person. I hated myself, so much. You should, everyone else does.
The door bell rang, breaking me from my thoughts, making me realise I had drawing myself into my drawing. I wasn't supposed to be in this, this was supposed to be the happy trio, why was I now in this? Though, it didn't look too bad, I was only in the corner, just a small head and shoulders in the background, not a full body. And I wasn't in the group huddle everyone else was in, I would rub myself out later, when I wasn't being called to go out.
Slowly, I grabbed my bag, filled with the chords, Sonic the Hedgehog, razor and cutting towel, and trudged out to the door, being greeted by Dougie. "hey! Dan and Haz are in the car, Dannys already fallen asleep and Harrys trapped behind him! So, I'm here instead!" Dougie offered as explanation, all smiles and boyish energy. "yeah, whatever, lets just get moving." I pushed past him, touching him for the first time in weeks, making him gasp quietly, before bouncing down the path with me. He'll burn those clothes tonight, because you're disgusting! Great, I was back to insults again, I loved the insults...not. its all you're getting, sorry you wimp.
As Dougie had said, Danny had fallen asleep already, curled up on his side on the seats we both would have usually sat on, Harrys hoodie looking huge on him. "morning Tom! I would have come out too, but then I would have had to move Dannys seat, which would have woken him up." Harry smiled, as Dougie managed to squeeze his skinny body between the door and the seat to get in with him. "yeah, whatever." I sighed, putting in my headphones, wanting to just shut the world out for a few hours. All I wanted to do was get in the back seat and curl up in Dannys arms, sleep for a few hours myself, I hadn't slept properly the past few weeks. I could only sleep when my stomach was empty, some part of my body was throbbing with pain, and I could hear Dannys snores, telling me he was there. I couldn't just go to his house anymore and sleep there, he would probably be with his real lovers, I couldn't run the risk of being found there, like some pathetic freak, I didn't want to be hated even more than I already was.