Chapter 60

Dr. Carolyn Lam sat at the briefing room table, transfixed and somewhat stunned, as she watched the security footage from the infirmary. When it was all said and done she found that all eyes were on her, as she had to put her confusion momentarily aside in order to say what needed to be said.

"We ran every test available to us," she stated as she cleared her throat. "EEG. MRI. And practically every Ancient diagnostic equiptment available and all they all say the same thing. There's no sign of brain activity."

"So, she is brain dead?"

"Yes, Sam. I'm afraid she is."

John Sheppard still sat staring at the screen, his mind still mulling over the images that he saw. No one had murdered Kebecht. The video showed the Goa'uld holding the pillow over her own face. She had smothered herself.

"I still don't get how this is entirely possible," he said with complete confusion. "We had her sedated. She wasn't conscious and if she was, didn't possess the strength to do something like that."

"And why?" Mitchell chimed in. "Even if she could, what reason would she have to do that to herself?"

"We know she's trying to Ascend. Maybe this was her way of trying to expedite the process."

"Yeah, but Sam, she didn't Ascend. She's being kept alive by all those machines. I still don't get the point of all of this."

"We may never know the point," Weir added. She had been uncharistically silent thru most of the exchange. "What we do know is that with Kebechet gone, we can proceed with the transplant. Have we spoken with her husband yet?"

"Not yet," Sam added softly. "I was just on my way to speak with him."

ooooo

Samantha Carter had sat with Netan since last night. Ever since Lam confirmed that Kebechet was brain dead, he had been taking it pretty hard. Even though he would have been the last person to admit it. Sam watched as he sat in his bunk, pretending to sleep, just to avoid all the questions and the chaos that surrounded last nights events.

"You do know that I know you're not asleep," Sam whispered as she stood outside the door to his quarters.

"Then why are you standing there watching me then?" he turned, looking at Sam with annoyance.

"I wanted to see how long you were going to keep pretending," she replied taking a seat next to Netan as he sat up on his bed. "And, well, you looked kinda cute."

Netan gave Sam a disparging look. It reminded her alot of the looks her father used to give her when he was disapprove of something she had said.

"You still should have said something."

"I will take note of it for next time."

"I know why you are here, Samantha," Netan replied getting right to the point.

Although initially taken aback by his forwardness, she knew it would be best for everyone if they got straight to the point.

"You are her next of kin," she admitted sheepishly. "We would need your consent for the transplant."

"She is no kin of mine," Netan chided, hiding his true feelings. "You may do as you please."

Sam touched Netan's hand gently, he tried not to respond.

"Look, I know how hard this is on you. Believe me, I do. I've had more than my fair share of heartbreak. Pretty much every man I have ever loved has died. Some, brutally so. And despite it having happened again and again, it cuts me each time. I suffer. I grieve. To this day, I still grieve. But, you know what? I don't let that stop me from living my life. From opening myself up to love again. I know how painful this must be for you. I know how it sucks royal that you spent so long trying to find her. Holding out hope only to have it end like this. It must be tearing you apart. And I know that you are only telling yourself that it was just the Goa'uld so that it doesn't hurt as much, but you know what? The only person you are fooling is yourself. It hurts. It hurts like hell. And its going to hurt like hell for a long time, but ignoring it is not going to make it any better. She's still your wife and you're never going to be able to move on unless you say a proper goodbye - "

"Who says I want to move on!" Netan interrupted. "I was supposed to die! I took comfort in what had happened to her because I had within me the idea that I was going to die. That we would be together again. So imagine what it felt like to wake up and find out that I'm not going to? That I have my entire life ahead of me? An entire life without her? I lived for ten years with the small hope that she was out there somewhere. That I would see her again. That we would be together. And now -"

Netan's attempts at holding back his emotions were faltering, Sam could see that the dam's were about to burst.

"Now I have to live the rest of my life without her. You tell me how I am supposed to do that! You tell me how I am supposed to let her go!"

Sam put her arms around Netan as he burst into tears, his gentle sobs causins her own heart to break.

"You're not alone in this," Sam stiffled as she stroke the top of Netan's head. "I know it probably seems impossible to even fathom right now, but you are surrounded by friends. People who care. Who understand your pain and are here to help you thru it when you're ready. And you know who will be the most understanding of all of us? Daniel. He has literally been exactly where you are right now. And as impossible as it may seem, he got thru it. And if anyone can help you get to that point, its him. But, Netan, that can't happen if he dies. He needs that transplant and he needs it now."

Netan quieted his cries pulling himself out of Sam's arms to look her in the face.

"I will give my consent. But I want to say my goodbye's first."

"Whenever you're ready."

"Will you come with me?

"Yeah, I will go with you" Sam smiled sweetly. "That's what friends do."

Netan looked to Sam as he wiped the tears from his eyes, and smiled back.