guest - thank you! :D
418 Dannys POV
Harry and Dougie ran off a few minutes later, after Carrie gave them directions to where Tom was, I listened carefully to them, trying to remember them inside my brain for later on. Carrie stayed with me though unfortunately, so I couldn't run off to find Tom myself. "Toms in safe hands now Danny, don't worry, and once the doctors have sorted him out, we'll get you a wheelchair and we'll go down together, alright?" Carrie smiled a little, giving me a hug. "want to see Tom now!" I whined, trying to sound like I was more awake, knowing it didn't work. But I wanted to seem fine, so I could go and see Tom right now! I had to see him right now! My whole body screamed at me to see Tom, I was going to stop at nothing to see him!
"I know, but you can't Dan. Not yet. I know its tough, but you really aren't ready to see him yet." Carrie sighed, really worrying me. Why could Harry and Dougie see Tom and I couldn't? Why wasn't I allowed to see him? I was the guy he loved... I think, and I loved him! Why couldn't I see him?! "why?" I had to ask, just needing to see Tom, why was that too much to ask? "Danny, look, lets just say, its bad. Tom looks bad, and in your state, you really don't want to see just yet!" Carrie explained, a few tears falling from her tired eyes.
She kept hold of me for a few hours, keeping me from trying to get out to see Tom, all I wanted to do was to see him! He was everything to me, I had to see him! I was so worried about him, my gut was twisting and churning with worry. I may not have been as aware of my surroundings as usual, but it didn't mean that I wasn't more worried about Tom than anything else in the world right now. "what does Tom look like?" I asked, trying to get something out of Carrie. "ill, just ill. He hasn't slept or eaten much for the past few days. But he's in safe hands now, I promise, the doctors are helping him." Carrie smiled a little, she was keeping things from me. "tell the truth!" I pleaded, I wanted to know! "Danny, please, just leave it, you'll see him soon enough." Carrie sighed, just hugging me tighter as I tried to get out of her grip.
"let me go! I want Tom!" I writhed, pushing at her. "you'll him soon, stop struggling please!" Carrie tightened her grip on me even more, as Harry and Dougie came back. Both of them looked so upset, tears drying on Dougies cheeks, his tiny little hands gripping onto Harrys own like it would keep him upright. "Tom?!" I said straight away, so scared, what was so wrong with Tom that it made Dougie cry? "he's been better, but he's alright, he's still unconscious, the doctors probably won't let you see him until tomorrow though." Harry explained, squeezing little Dougie, almost plastering their bodies together. Sometimes, thats what Dougie needed, to feel close to someone, like being close to someone was the only way to keep out of harms way. "why?" I whimpered, wanting to see Tom right now! Why could everyone else see him and I couldn't? I was going to see him today, no-one could stop me! "because Tom needs to rest, he's been so stressed out the past few weeks, especially the past couple of days, he needs rest and he'll feel better afterwards." Harry explained, rubbing Dougies side gently, the poor boy shaking like an earthquake.
I whimpered, but stayed quiet, starting to plan a way to see Tom tonight. I would wait, until everyone either went home, or fell asleep, while the hospital staff weren't wandering around as much, then I would just have to run, as fast as I could, to where Tom was, I could still remember where Carrie said to go earlier. It took hours, the waiting for everyone to go away, leave me by myself. I thanked my lucky stars that everyone went home today, leaving me to sleep by myself...well, thats what they thought anyway. Instead, I waited until 11 in the evening, when the nurses changed over, then unhooked everything attached to me, and ran before the alarms could go off.
I ran down the corridors, trying to remember every turn Carrie had said to make, Tom was in the blue zone, I was in the blue zone too, so surely it should have been only a few corridors away, right? I ran for ages trying to find his room, eventually finding it, creeping in so I didn't wake Tom up. Though how the beeping and whirring in here wasn't waking him up I didn't know... there was so much beeping! But as I came closer, really looking at Tom, I realised why, Tom was hooked up to so many machines! He had so many wires, more than what I had had, and a tube going down his throat! Why was there a tube down his throat? Why wasn't he awake? Why were there so many wires and machines?! Why hadn't anyone told me he was like this?!
I edged closer, gasping when I saw his clothes, skin and hair. Oh god, he was smothered in blood, it was matting up his hair, all across his face and neck, covering his hands, all the way up his rolled up sleeves, patches covering his jeans. He looked awful, almost like he had been attacked by a knife, only without all the wounds. My legs gave out again and I fell to the floor next to his bed, grabbing hold of his bloody hand, the splashes of red giving Tom the only colour he had on his skin, realising he had bitten off his nails, and picked off as much skin around his nails as possible too. "I-I'm sorry Tommy. I-I'm sorry." I cried, the sight getting far too much, it was all my fault, I shouldn't have done this, I shouldn't have cut like this! Tom wouldn't be here if I hadn't have done this!
419 Toms POV
So much blackness, there was so much blackness, was this death? Was I dead, I didn't know... I had been with Carrie, in the garage. We were arguing, about the hospital, I had been dizzy, so very dizzy. Feeling so, so weak...then, blackness. What happened? "Tommy, wake up, please, wake up!" someone cried, squeezing my hand, my hand hurt! There was something sticking in it, it hurt when my skin was being pulled! I groaned in pain, whimpering as my hand throbbed. "Tommy! Wake up! Wake up Tommy!" the voice I recognised as Danny cried again, squeezing my hand even harder. I cried out, as loud as I could, it hurt so much! The thing moved inside my hand, it sent pain shooting up my arm.
"shh, Tommy, shhh. Its just medicine, its alright." Danny whispered, stroking my cheek. Something pulled on my cheek, and now that I realised it, why did my jaw ache? Why wasn't my mouth closed? "Tom, I need to you stay calm, alright. When you open your eyes, don't panic, please. You'll make things worse, just stay still a few minutes, alright, stay still. I'm getting a doctor right now." Danny disappeared, leaving me to wake up by myself, slowly, I opened my eyes, realising that I was in hospital! Oh no! Not again! But, what was this thing in my vision, I lifted my hands to it, following it down to find...it was going into my mouth! Why was it in my mouth?! What was in my mouth?!
My hands tried to pull it out, but my stomach lurched and I choked, I couldn't breathe! Machines noises went mental around me, whirring and beeping so much, until a huge amount of people in painfully bright white coats turned up, their hands going everywhere. Get them off! Stop them touching you now! They're touching you, you're not supposed to be touched! The voice was screaming inside my head, making me panic even more, I didn't want to be touched! They had to stop touching me! I writhed to push them away, choking myself even more, I couldn't stop choking! "Tommy shh, shh, let them help you, don't struggle, please don't struggle!" Danny fought his way through, being pushed backwards by the doctors, who were starting to hold me down.
"Thomas, stay still for a while, we'll sort out this thing out and check you over, now stay still, we can't do anything until you stay still!" a doctor ordered, but I couldn't do it! I couldn't stay still, they had to stop touching me, they couldn't touch me! And this thing was choking me, I was choking so badly! I couldn't breathe! "Tommy, stay still, let them help, they're not going to hurt you." Danny called again, I struggled even more, screaming around the thing inside my mouth, trying to breathe and get away from these people at the same time.
They're going to poke and prod at you all day, going to treat you like an animal, a weak, pathetic animal. They'll drug you and tie you up, they'll kill you in the end! The voice laughed, I screamed again, moving my head manically, until someone stopped me. "someone get me something that will calm him down! I can't do anything while he's like this!" some doctor shouted, someone running off. "I can calm him down! Just let me see him, I'll help sort him out!" Danny shouted back, trying to push through, "Tommy, shhh, stop it, they're trying to make you better. The sooner you stop struggling, the sooner they'll let you go, I promise." Danny pushed through, putting his hand on my leg gently, he's holding you down too. Get him off!
I struggled and struggled, trying to get these people off me, none of it working. They're getting more and more disgusted with you, you're DISGUSTING and they're realising it, they'll realise you're a waste of space. They'll realise you're not worth treating. And Danny will realise that you really aren't worth loving. The voice made me cry, I knew it was true, I shouldn't have been here, I should have still been under my bridge on the other side of town, away from everyones anger. Not here, not going through this!
Someone ran in and handed something to the doctor who had shouted, he put it into the IV running into my arm. "don't! I can calm him down, please, don't do this!" Danny shouted, as slowly, I lost feeling in my limbs, all of them falling still, the world getting darker and quieter, until blackness and silence filled my vision once again.