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420 Harrys POV

"I could have calmed him down! I could have calmed him down if you'd let me!" Danny shouted as we wandered back to the canteen with our lunch. We had been here for the past few days, staying at the hospital, waiting for Tom to wake up. We were in there so much that after a few arguments and a very, very pleading monologue involving a few tears from Danny, they staff had let Danny stay in the same room too. "I could have calmed him down! You didn't have to do that!" Danny cried helplessly, sitting on Toms bed, he had moved from the last time I had seen him… now Toms body looked physically more tensed, more freaked out, even more ill.

"I'm sorry, but he was choking, we had to do something quick." The doctor sighed, looking apologetic, even though I didn't believe it for a second. "but I could have sorted him out, I swear! I could have sorted it out." Danny whimpered, gripping onto Toms hand, like it was the only thing he could do. "what happened?" I asked, breaking Dannys whimpers off before he started crying. "Tommy woke up, he didn't know what was happening and he panicked…and then they didn't let me calm him down, just sedated him without even letting me near him." Danny sent a death glare at the doctor, 'if looks could kill' came to mind at the sight. "d*mn, well, why can't you remove the tube now so he doesn't panic as much?" I suggested, guessing it the tube down his throat that scared him the most.

"well, we could, but we think its best to give Tom as much food as possible before he wakes up again, because it looked like there was nothing in his stomach, so I doubt that he'll eat anything once he's woken up. We'll remove it later, just before he wakes up." The doctor explained carefully, like he knew that he was walking on thin ice. "you better, and he will eat, I know he will." Danny growled, that warning tone almost saying he would kill if this didn't happen. "alright, how do you know this? According to you, you haven't spent much time together for the past few weeks, you don't know what has changed." The doctor placated. "because its Tom, and I know Tom like the back of my hand." Danny explained, looking so pleadingly at this doctor.

"are you sure you know him that well?" the doctor asked, we nodded, of course we did! We knew Tom so well, we knew him almost better than he knew himself. "I've been with him the past few weeks, he'll eat, don't worry, he'll eat." Carrie joined in, carrying Toms sketchbook and a small bag, probably filled with the clothes and books she had gone home to get. "alright, if you say so, move out the way, I'll take this out then." The doctor sighed, Danny moved as fast as lightening, watching wide eyes as the doctor removed the very, very large tube from Toms weak body. He didn't even flinch at it, just continued to lay there, completely out of it.

I wanted to kid myself into believing that Tom was just sleeping, but I couldn't, with all the wires poking into him, all this beeping, and by the barely tamed distressed look on his face, Tom couldn't have been sleeping, even if he was having a nightmare. Tom never looked that distressed in natural sleep. It disturbed me to see him sleeping, though he wasn't really...sleeping. I didn't know how to describe it, he just looked ill. So, painfully ill.

421 Dougies POV

Tom laid sleeping again for hours, we all just ended up waiting for him to wake up, unpacking his things for him for when he needed them. I thought the first thing Tom would want would be to have a shower and get changed, he was still covered in dried blood, the hospital hadn't even bothered to clean his face at the very least. When Tom saw what he looked like, he was going to freak because it wasn't just his blood, it was Dannys too, knowing he was covered in his lovers blood in his state was going to send him off the deep end. I seemed to be the only one who cared, everyone else was busying themselves with something or other, I was just sat there, fiddling with Toms hair, trying to keep it off his face. It wasn't hard, it was mostly matted to his head. The poor guy, I just wanted to pick him up and hug him.

"you can hug him Doug, you won't hurt him." Harry whispered in my ear, stroking my side. "will Danny mind?" I asked, looking up at the Boltoner as he sat down. "nah, go on, lay down with him. I've been cuddling him for three days, its about time you got a go too." Danny smiled, playing with Toms hand on his other side, letting me lay next to the tiny blonde, almost gingerly resting my head on his chest. Tom felt bony, far too bony, and cold...but he was still comforting to lay next too. Just laying next to his body was nice, after so long without him, it felt good.

"what did you bring with you Carrie?" Danny asked, fiddling with Toms fingers, ignoring the needle stuck in his hand. "just a some jeans, tshirts, few hoodies, couple of books, the sketchbook, iPod, nothing special." Carrie answered, leafing through the sketchbook. "what has Tom actually drawn in there? He's spent so much time drawing, what has he actually drawn?" Danny looked up from Toms hand, reaching out for the sketchbook, resting it on his lap.

"I don't really know what Toms drawn, he wouldn't let me see. I just know that its not the usual random drawings of Marvel comic characters." Carrie sighed, shrugging. "oh, can we see anyway? I just want to know. I've been wondering what he's been drawing for weeks." Danny reached out for the book, careful to not jog Tom in any way. "alright, just don't get too emotional please, or ask him when he wakes up. Toms probably already very scared, I don't want him in even more pain. Just keep in mind that he thought you were together and you hated him at the time." Carrie warned, looking at Toms sleeping face, looking so sorry for him.

"I know, don't remind me either." Danny mumbled, opening the sketchbook so all of us could see it. He turned the book so we could all see it, the first few pages were beautiful and normal Tom like creations. It was the usual things he drew, stage designs, UFOs, aliens, Marvel characters, the random things that came into his head sometimes. But then it suddenly changed, he drew us more, specifically, not himself. And if he was in the picture, he was right at the back, his head down, face covered. Slowly, the drawings got darker, more about me, Harry and Danny, less and less about Tom himself. The lines turned into words, words made up the lines, the picture still clearly of us. There was one, of me, Harry and Danny, hugging together, me and Harry kissing Danny on each of his cheeks. Our words were things like' together, perfect, beautiful, in love, worthy'…and then there was Tom in the background, actually looking up in this one. His words were darker, were different everywhere. Toms hair was described as 'greasy, lanky, dirty, stupid, weird' his eyes 'too dark, and not blue' and his body 'too skinny, too pale, freaky'. The most used words were 'ugly, freaky, unworthy' they were everywhere.

Poor Tom slated himself, commenting on everything, the only good words were on his scars, calling them 'perfect' and 'mistake fixers'. It was awful the way Tom thought of his himself, the way he described himself, only liking his scars, the one thing he shouldn't have liked, calling them his mistake fixers. It was awful to see how Tom viewed himself, below everyone else, with us being described as perfect, and every other positive word in the dictionary. It was horrible, it broke my heart.