Serena composed herself the shock wearing off, "How stupid of me," Serena said to herself, "I need to go back in there."
"It's a perfectly normal reaction," Edward said to Serena, "OK," he squeezed her shoulder, "Do you want me to go in there with you?"
"No… I'm a big girl I don't need someone to hold my hand," Serena shook her head.
"Come on even people like you need someone," Edward had memorised the code so he typed it in, "Ready?" he asked her they pair stepped away from each other. Walking back into the ICU Serena sat down on the seat Ric had just got off of.
"Thank you for being there," Serena said to Ric.
"Like I said it's not a problem," Ric waved goodbye and spoke to one of the doctors.
"Don't try to speak mum," Serena ordered gently, "OK just… keep your strength up," Serena touched her mum's hair, "It'll be OK mum."
"Have… they… told… you… that?" Adrienne asked in a pained strength, Serena knew what her mum meant by that; it made her shake to hear it, "I... just… want… to…say-"
"Mum stop talking," Serena took her hand, "You need to concentrate on your breathing."
The mask was tight across her face it made her cheeks all pudgy like a hamster, "If… you… want," Adrienne let herself get her strength back, "To… be… with… Ed… then… I… give… my…per…mis…sion," Adrienne struggled out before giving up on talking it was putting too much pressure on her lungs.
Then a doctor walked over, "Hello Ms Campbell I'm Dr Summers I'm your mother's consultant. You look familiar."
"Yes we met at the Harvard Dinner," Serena said and Dr Summers then realised he shook her hand, "How long has she been here?"
"About an hour but due to your mother's previous health concerns, age and weakened immune system this is why it's happened so quickly," Dr Summers explained Serena nodded in understanding, "We're doing all we can Ms Campbell."
"I know," Serena sat back down and took her mum's hand, "You'll be OK mum."
Edward sat down on the other chair, "All we can do is keep her calm," Edward said to Serena he could see fear in her eyes, "That's all we can do."
"I know," Serena leant her forehead on her mum's hand that she was holding.
Ric walked back onto AAU, "Mr Griffin have you seen Ms Campbell?" Johnny asked.
"She's on ICU…" Ric knew Johnny was someone who anyone could trust, someone needed to know in case talk about 'Sedward' arose, "I can trust you not say anything?" he asked.
"I don't do gossip," Johnny then followed Mr Griffin into his and Serena's office, "Is there a problem?"
"Serena's mother is on ICU," Ric said and Johnny looked confused as in to say why you telling me?, "A lot of people will probably be talking about Serena and Edward. If there's any gossip can I trust you to put a stop to it?"
"Urmm I guess," Johnny wasn't sure why Ric was telling him, "Why you telling me?"
"Because you're a good nurse," Ric said and Johnny looked complimented, "And please do not tell anyone."
"It's safe with me," Johnny said zipping a pretend zip across his lips, "Has there been any other Stereotyping Scottish jokes?" Johnny asked curiously.
"Yes actually… Dr Tressler's been humming a song all morning," Ric laughed, "Something about Glencoe."
"Aye I sang a line of The Massacre of Glencoe song," Johnny admitted, "Never expected them to take an interest."
"Anyway… thank you for respecting Serena's privacy," Ric said to Johnny.
"She's been there for Jac a few times… only fair I return the favour," Johnny went to the door, "Actually," he dug into his pocket, "Think she needs them more than me," he placed the shortbread onto her desk.
Back in ICU Serena was now in the relatives with the consultant and nurse, she had said to Edward she would be fine but he came in anyway, they were both sat next to each other.
"Ms Campbell your mother's condition is very serious," the consultant sat forward, "There is a lot of pressure being put on her heart, due to her health problems and weakened immune system it's a fifty-fifty percent chance of her surviving or sadly it could mean she does not make it."
Serena tensed up she played with her necklace, "What are the options?"
"Well we can keep her on the IV antibiotics and oxygen and see how she improves, if she does not improve we may need to start discussing other options."
"You mean EOL," Serena said she choked on her words.
"She's fighting," the other doctor said kindly, "She's not giving up telling us to give her anything to help her."
Serena looked down, "Fifty-fifty not much."
"It's something," Edward said comfortingly, "And like the doctor just said she's fighting."
Serena looked up, "I've got to get back on shift."
"Ms Campbell I'm sure your colleagues will understand," The consultant said.
"I decide what's best for me thank you," Serena stood up and walked out, not wanting to hear anymore or be there. She needed to be busy.
"Thank you for your time," Edward said the two doctors nodded in understanding.
"She needs someone make sure she's not alone," the other doctor said, "And we'll keep her updated."
"She won't be alone," Edward walked out he then went to find Serena. He knew what she was doing the keep busy and block out the world around her trick.
Ric saw Serena walking into AAU he put the notes on the desk angrily and walked over to her, "What are you doing here?"
"My job," Serena walked over to the desk to look at her patient list, "That's what I'm paid for."
"Your mother is in ICU," Ric said seriously, "Don't you think you should be there?"
"She needs rest and I'm probably carrying a lot of infections right now… so no I don't need to be there," Serena took notes off the desk and went into her office she snatched the shortbread packet and dug inside. There was a note on the packet: You need these more than me Johnny Mac, Serena smiled lightly and bit into a piece. Serena right now had to prepare herself for another painful death, least this time she has time.
Edward walked back into AAU he was greeted by Ric, "She wants to work," Ric said.
"That surprises you?" Edward asked he leant his hand on the nurses station desk.
"Well could you maybe get her to see sense?" Ric asked Edward, Edward rubbed his neck and then walked towards her office. Knocking three times he entered.
"Why are you working?" Edward asked he wrapped his arms around her chest, "Well?"
"Because… I need to keep busy," Serena was flicking through patient files, she then felt Edward's chin rest on her head.
"You don't need to be working," he tapped his hands, "You need to be with your mother."
"I really don't," Serena was cutting herself off from the world, Edward realised and he worried, "She doesn't need me giving her air born infections from patients."
"Listen to me," Edward said gently, "She needs you… she'll want someone she knows."
"She doesn't need me," Serena tilted her head down the denial and grief already sinking in, "I'm not much of a daughter."
"Serena you heard what the doctor said," Edward took his chin away from her head and took his hands off her chest, he placed one hand on her shoulder the other grabbed her hand, "She has fifty-fifty."
"Exactly fifty-fifty," Serena snapped, "Not very much hope."
"But there is hope Serena… Serena listen to me," Edward turned her face so she looked at him, "Don't block her out… don't block any of us out," he touched her forehead with his, "She needs you."
With their faces so near each other they connected looks, "Thank you," Serena whispered.
"No problem," Edward smiled he kissed her on the lips then he lifted his head away, "You can always have a bit of time before going back up there."
Serena nodded she needed some breathing space, "I feel so stupid," she placed her face in her hands.
"You're in shock," Edward said knowingly, "You just need a breather," Edward walked towards the door, Serena stood up and waited for Edward to open the door, "We could go and see what the juniors are doing."
When they walked over to the desk Johnny was entertaining them, "Do the impression of the bartender getting mad in the bar," Gemma said laughing.
Johnny pretended to look angry, "Riiecht! that's it gie it yoo're bared!" he sat down red in the face from pretending to be angry; Mary-Claire, Harry and Gemma were all laughing, "How was that?"
"That's great," Mary-Claire said.
"Oh I'm laughing too hard," Harry had tears in his eyes.
"Being productive men?" Edward placed his arms around Harry and Johnny.
"Johnny was just… teaching us some Scottish," Harry improvised Edward didn't believe a word, but allowed the young doctor to carry on, "Because… I'm planning to take a trip to Scotland."
"Of course," Edward sat on the desk and winked at Johnny, "Don't worry I won't tell anyone you were slacking."
"Like the shortbread?" Johnny asked Serena
"Yes I did thank you," Serena sat down arms folded, "You didn't need to give it to me."
"I have loads back home," Johnny shrugged Edward then got off the desk, "Shall I get coffees?"
Johnny dug into his pocket for money but Edward stopped him, "No it's fine… this isn't my ward."
"Its fine," Edward then looked at the others, "Anyone else?"
"No sugar," Gemma said.
"Two sugars," Harry said.
"No sugar," Mary-Claire said.
"I'm fine," Serena said but Edward decided to get her a drink anyway. He went down to Pulses, "Five coffees and one hot chocolate please."
The cashier took the money then Edward waited he leant on the counter, after about five minutes the cashier handed him the coffees and hot chocolate into a cardboard cup holder, "Thank you," Edward took the cup holder off the counter, then made his way back to AAU.
Once he was done handing out the coffees he handed Serena her drink, "I said no Edward."
"To coffee not to hot chocolate," Edward sat back down on the counter.
"Thank you," Serena took the lid off the steam came shooting up, "You didn't need too."
"I know," Edward said, "But I wanted too."
Serena looked at him, Johnny noticed the look in her eyes; it was a soft warm look not the usual Jac like look both women seemed to have adopted.
"Thank you," Serena sipped the drink hoping no one had noticed her look. Though when she looked around the look on Johnny's face told her different. He was wearing a small smile the same that James had wore many times. Thankfully Johnny didn't seem the type to run around telling every Tom, Dick and Harry.
It wasn't just Johnny Harry had noticed it too, he and Johnny exchanged looks their eyebrows raised. Serena stood up knowing it was time to man up and be there for the woman who's been there for her, "You OK?" Edward asked her.
"I'm fine," Serena walked away twiddling with her hands. Then made her way back to ICU she walked up the three flights of stairs and finally back into the ward. Machines were still beeping, the mask her mum had on was still rattling, the oxygen again sounding like suction. Serena breathed in and walked over she took her mum's hand, "Hello mum."
Adrienne was still finding it hard to breathe each breath was a struggle. Instead of talking she squeezed Serena's hand.
"I'm sorry I walked away earlier," Serena sounding very genuine the look in her eyes said it all, "It was just a bit of a shock."
Adrienne then spoke, "It's… fine."
"Bet you love it here… all these good looking doctors," Serena tried to make light of the situation Adrienne smiled a small, small smile, "Just what you wanted."
"Still… not… as… good…as…A…A…U," Adrienne admitted making Serena laugh.
"Well I can always bring Dr Tressler up here," Serena joked Adrienne gave her a 'he's too young for you' look.
"Thought… you…were…wanting…Edward?" Adrienne questioned Serena went red, "You…can…only…learn…from…your…own…mistakes."
"I know," Serena kissed Adrienne's hand, "If I get hurt it's my fault… I think what makes me feel better is that, I've had both yours and Ellie's permission."
"She… spoke…to…me…the…other…night," Adrienne said struggling, "She…wants…you…to…be…happy."
"Mum stop talking just concentrate on breathing," Serena said trying not to sound too bossy, "OK… it's just important you don't strain yourself."
Adrienne closed her eyes trying to relax, "Make…sure…you're…careful."
"Mum stop talking," Serena said frustrated at her mother not listening, "You just need to relax."
"Do the words pot, kettle and black mean anything to you?" A voice of Jac Naylor said behind her.
"What are you doing here?" Serena was confused how did she get in?
"I'm not happy…" Jac sat down, "You've made Maconie far too welcome."
"How did you get in?" Serena asked.
"Let's just say things in Holby don't stay secret," Jac sighed, "Mo saw your mum being bought up here and also Maconie came up for his second lot of shortbread… someone took the rest."
"He gave it to me actually," Serena corrected her.
"You do realise he's only sucking up to you because your half of what he is," Jac smiled lightly, "I think he's trying to form a Maconie clan… unfortunately Edward still belongs to the Campbell clan."
"He always will," Serena saw Adrienne smile inside her mask, "My dad hated Campbell's with a passion and I mean a passion."
"Bet Edward was welcome," Jac joked Serena laughed, "What?"
"He walked into a house full of McKinnie's can you imagine the reaction?" Serena remembered when Edward announced who he was; it was like another Massacre was going to evolve. Her dad gave him glares all evening at the dinner table and it become obvious that Edward was going to have to do a lot grovelling, "My dad his family down… I chose the wrong day to introduce Edward."
"Johnny told me about the Massacre… his mum was a Macdonald she wasn't best pleased when she found who his boss was," Jac gave Serena a nod as to say: 'you'.
"Ah yes I've come across a lot of Macdonald's in my years of switching surnames. St George's once we had a patient who Psych needed to look at. I got sent in the room he went nuts convinced he was in the house of Macdonald. He got out of bed grabbed a scalpel came this close," Serena used her thumb and index finger to measure how close she was to being stabbed, "To being stabbed."
"Who stopped him?" Jac asked intrigued.
"James pinned the patient down Edward grabbed me and pulled us behind the nurses station desk," Serena answered, "He uhh had a right go at James for allowing me to go in."
"How was he to know the patient was unstable?" Jac still looked shocked.
"He didn't know the patient was unstable… he just thought I was joking about the Massacre uphold," Serena remembered how guilty James felt; he came close to crying especially when Edward went ballistic at him, only time Edward had raised his voice at his best friend, "He felt really bad though."
"Considering he put his colleague in danger," Jac still shook her head confused at how someone could hold a grudge like that.
"He actually cried," Serena said quietly, "It took me ages to convince him it wasn't his fault."
"You'd be amazed at what grudges people can hold," Jac said Serena nodded in agreement.
"So what clan you joining? Maconie or Campbell?" Serena asked joking she needed to joke right now.
"Don't think Johnny would be pleased if I joined the enemy," Jac sighed heavily, "Can you imagine?"
"He'd have his mum on the phone," Serena suggested.
"Do you have any idea what Ceilidh is?" Jac had overheard Mo talking on the phone to someone and Ceilidh was mentioned.
"It's a Gaelic social gathering lots of folk dancing and music," Serena answered she was surprised how she could still remember, "Used to go to lots as a child why?"
"I overheard Mo on the phone to someone and she mentioned it so I was wondering if you knew," Jac shrugged.
"It's Scottish and Irish apart from Irish prounce it as Ceili Scottish pronounce it as Ceilidh," Serena didn't know why she was giving Jac the useless information but it took her mind off her mum's current condition.
"Anyway… what's going on with you and Edward then?" Jac crossed one leg over the other, "You can tell me I won't tell anyone."
"Who says there's anything going on?" Serena asked the young red head who reminded her, of herself especially when angry or annoyed.
"Well apart from Ceilidh you've mentioned Edward in every conversation we've had," Jac saw Serena go red, "So spill."
"It's complicated," Serena was not about to admit in front of her mother, what they had done the day before and not that long ago.
"Really you don't say," Jac said sarcastically, "Spill," Jac ordered.
"Arghh," Serena pushed her head back, "I'm not about to discuss my current status with you… especially in front of my mother," Serena felt Adrienne squeeze her hand, "Mum are you OK?"
"So… you…are…to…get…her…then?" Adrienne asked Serena glared at Jac, Jac actually coward under the glare.
"No…" Serena saw Adrienne looked at her as to say: 'tell me the truth', "We…we're… oh it's complicated."
"Shall I answer for you?" Jac asked, "Yes they are together."
Serena huffed damn why did her and Jac have to be so alike! Adrienne squeezed her hand much to Serena's surprise, "I know you said… to let him worm his way back in."
"Like… I…said," Adrienne said with difficulty, "You…need…to…make…your…own…decisions."
"Good or bad," Serena sighed again she then felt Jac's hand on her shoulder.
"I best be going… I snuck in," Jac winked Serena laughed at her sneakiness, "I won't say anything."
"Thank you," Serena said to the young red head.
"Only fair you've been there for me," Jac shrugged.
"Don't start going all cliché," Serena rolled her eyes Jac waited for the coast to be clear, then she left quickly. Serena sat back she knew Jac wouldn't say anything but she felt uncomfortable someone had discovered her secret and she was worried who else would find out.
"She… reminds…me…of…you," Adrienne looked at Serena.
"Me too," Serena looked at mum's finger it still had her wedding ring on, "You never took it off." Serena observed it Adrienne shook her head, "You and dad really did love each other."
"Right…up…until…the…end," Adrienne said, "He…loved…you…too…Re…na."
"I know," Serena sighed, "I loved him too."
They were soon joined by a Chantelle look alike, "Just doing your obs," the nurse checked everything, "Still the same."
Serena felt her stomach twist least she wasn't getting worse, but she wasn't improving. Serena had the impression she would have to prepare herself for another tragedy.
"I'll come back soon," the nurse said and she walked off Serena felt scared her mum was not improving and she feared during the course of the day she would deteriorate.
Two hours passed Serena had been sat in complete silence, she was too worried to leave her mum in case she fell critically ill very quickly. Two nurses walked over, "Ms Campbell."
"Yes?" Serena asked taking herself out of her thoughts.
"If you want to take a walk or get something to eat… we will promise to page you," the first nurse said.
"I'm fine," Serena lied she was very stiff and hungry in truth but she couldn't bring herself to leave.
"We promise to page you," the second nurse said. Serena looked at her mother who was asleep surprisingly because the mask looked very uncomfortable.
"You promise if she wants me or if anything happens you will page me?" Serena stood up and looked at the two nurses seriously.
"We promise," they both said together Serena kissed her mother on the head and walked away going back into AAU was quite daunting.
"How's she doing?" Ric asked curiously Serena said nothing, instead she found herself walking over to Harry and Mary-Claire who were slacking again.
"Haven't you two got work to be doing?" She asked them her fear was now anger never a good thing, "Or is it in your job descriptions to slack?" she placed her hands on her hips.
"It's lunch time," Harry pointed to the clock, "Or aren't we allowed lunch anymore?"
"Don't you dare get smart with me!" Serena snapped Harry back away hitting his head on the wall.
"Why are you picking on me? Mary-Claire's slacking too," Harry argued.
"Oh I'm getting onto her," Serena said darkly Harry felt very, very small. Her fear and anger was putting her on a power trip, "If you want to keep your job Dr Tressler do not slack."
"Why are you picking on me?" Harry asked rubbing his head, "What have I done to upset you? In fact what have myself and Mary-Claire done?" Serena felt the urge to knock everything off the counter, but her anger wasn't venting in that way it was turning her on a power trip but the power trip was ending. She felt her eyes watering up she didn't want those two to see her weak so she walked into her office locked it and tried to compose herself.
Edward was walking with Johnny and Gemma, "So I say: "Don't you think it's about time you stopped holding this grudge?"
"How'd that go?" Gemma asked Johnny already knew the answer.
"I got about ten death stares and I expected Serena's father to hit me," Edward laughed at the memory, "He nearly refused to come to our wedding… but he couldn't do that."
"Was she a daddy's girl?" Johnny asked.
"Two peas in a pod she's the spit of him," Edward opened the left door for Gemma and Johnny to enter, "We got married on the Highlands I had to learn Ceilidh dancing."
"What dancing?" Gemma asked but then they all stopped as they saw Mary-Claire , "What's going on?"
"It's Serena she's locked herself in her office…" Mary-Claire answered, "It's Harry's fault."
"Thanks," Harry said sounding annoyed, "She started on me."
"You argued back," Mary-Claire sighed.
"I'll get her out," Edward said he knew what to do, "I've got this."
"Good luck she's in a right mood," Harry said whilst walking off.
"Oi back off her," Johnny said making them all jump, "There's probably a reason for her mood."
"Coming from the man who works with Jac Naylor," Harry pointed out, "It's like they're constantly on their periods."
"Well just shut up and let Edward sort it," Johnny ordered.
Edward knocked on the door at first then lent his head against, "Open up Serena."
Serena ignored the knocks she just needed to get her head together, "Go away," she said to herself very quietly.
"Serena you can't ignore me," Edward kept on knocking, "What's happened?"
Ric then walked over, "Two, eight, five, three," Ric gave Edward the lock code, "I trust you'll pull her together," he smiled and walked off.
Edward tapped in the code then when the door opened, he walked in quietly and shut the door. Serena didn't know whether to be angry he got in or to be happy. Either way she couldn't decide, "What's happened?" Edward asked he placed his arm around her.
"She's not improving," Serena answered very quietly but just enough for Edward to hear, "I've just got to face it… she's not going to get better."
Edward stroked her arm, "You don't know that."
"Use your brain Edward… she's old they won't help her as much as a younger person," Serena suddenly realised why Eleanor had said that to her, when they had the conversation when Adrienne had the stroke, "Oh god."
"What?" Edward asked confused.
"Eleanor was right… it's unfair why do we not help the older people as much as younger people?" Serena asked Edward rested his head on her other shoulder.
"I don't know," Edward answered truthfully, "You just need to remember… that she could come out of this."
"She won't don't you see that!" Serena shouted Edward expected that to come she had been far too calm, "She won't come out of this."
"Serena, Serena, Serena listen to me," Edward grabbed her hands, "There's a chance."
"But she won't come out of it," she leant her head on his chest, "We both know that," he saw tears dripping onto his trousers.
His first instinct was to snap her out of it, but she needed this so his second instinct took over, "Come on," he pulled her off the chair he sat down on the sofa and pulled her onto his lap he wrapped his arms around her waist then rested his head on her shoulder, "Want to lie down? I promise I won't need to pee," Edward felt Serena laugh a tiny bit she nodded, "If I do need to pee you will move."
"No I won't," Serena laid down her head on his thighs, "Why do the good people always have to get ill?"
"It's just the circle of life," Edward stroked her hair, "Unfortunately the good just get the bad luck," he looked down at her, her eyes were shining with unshed tears.
"Why can't you be like this all the time?" Serena asked Edward frowned, "Not your usual infuriating self but I like this side to you," in all honesty she did he was caring when he wanted to be, infuriating when he wanted to be but he did care, "Anyway… my mum's going to die and I just need to face up to that."
"Serena she's a strong lady," Edward took her hand he then lifted up a little of her sleeve which showed her pale wrist and ran two fingers up and down it, something he remembered she liked, "You just need to keep positive for her sake."
"It's hard to stay positive when I already know the outcome," Serena looked sad she couldn't lose her mother, she was her only parent left and the more she thought about it the more it made her sad she hadn't noticed but two tears were trailing sideways down her face.
Edward wiped them away with his spare hand, "Do you want me to stay after my shift finishes?" he asked whilst stroking her hair again, "Because I don't want you to be alone."
Serena never expected herself to say this and he didn't either, "Cou…could you?" she shocked herself.
"Of course," Edward said gently Serena smiled sadly, "When you going back up to Adrienne?"
"In a bit," Serena answered she closed her eyes, "Soon."
Edward knew she needed to be with Adrienne but something about her right now, made him unable to tell her to go. She looked so scared and full of worry the he was afraid of her breaking, "Would you like me to be with you?"
"Yes please," Serena nodded Edward stroked her hair again, "I'll go back up in a minute."
"OK," Edward said gently he stopped circling her wrist and took her hand in his, "I'll be there."
A/N: I'm not a huge One Direction fan but I found myself listening to Little Things whilst writing the laying on his lap scene and also Into The Open Air from the Brave soundtrack ha. Once again I put my own personal experience into her feelings it makes it more realistic in my opinion. Let me know your opinions I know I rushed into getting them together but I love Sedward so much! And it's fanfiction so I guess it's OK ;) once again let me know what you think xx