PART TWO

Kitty climbed into the carriage while her family waved and cheered her on. Lord Matlock was close behind her. She waved and smiled back at her family and friends from the window. The carriage door shut behind her husband. The wedding ceremony was over and it had been lovely. The wedding breakfast had been eaten. She had shared a dance with her father. Been petted and fawned over by her mother. Shared hugs, warm words and smiles with her sisters. And now, here they were, Kitty and Lord Matlock newlywed and alone together for the first time in many weeks. Since the night of the ball when they were in the garden she thought.

Lord Matlock spoke first, "Here we are then! I thought it went off well. How about you? How do you feel?"

"Oh, it was lovely," Kitty responded.

"I have to admit I was a bit nervous I'd stumble my lines," he said with a smile.

"I was worried about that too. Not that you would stumble your lines. But that I would!" She corrected herself and continued, "You did very well indeed Lord Matlock."

He reached for her gloved hand, grabbed it and kissed her knuckles, "Please, call me Julian."

"Julian? Really?"

He laughed, "Yes. Julian. Why so surprised?"

"I wouldn't have pegged you for a Julian is all. For some reason I would have guessed Richard."

"And you Miss Bennet. What shall I call you? Do you like to be called Kitty?"

She thought for a moment and responded, "Would you call me Catherine?"

"Yes, I will. Catherine," he said as he moved closer to her on the seat, took her chin in his hand and kissed her lips, "Lovely Catherine."

She responded equally to his advances. But before long the couple was distracted by the bumping carriage, and the beautiful countryside.

"We should be there in another two hours. Will you need a break before then? I can let my men know."

"I think I'll be fine. But, only two hours? Are we not going to London?"

"Oh, I'm sorry in the excitement I guess I'd forgotten to mention it. I thought we could take a week or two honeymoon at one of my country houses, Mercy Manor," Lord Matlock said off handedly.

Kitty had a spontaneous attitude, and was quite thrilled at the idea of a honeymoon. She did not mind the change of plans in the least. The honeymoon would be a way to ease into being Lady Matlock, before the responsibilities of her position really began. She found it quite romantic of Lord Matlock to plan the honeymoon. She felt that he truly thought of her as a friend. She felt a genuine connection with him, and was optimistic for what this week or two together would do for their relationship. If it were not for the fact that Lord Matlock was in love with Elizabeth and therefore could never show Kitty more than affectionate friendship – it would have been a perfectly beautiful and romantic day.

The ride continued with Lord Matlock and Kitty holding hands and talking of the sights in the countryside. They spoke a bit about their wedding that morning, joking in a friendly manner about Darcy's obsession with Elizabeth's comfort. He had insisted that a pillow be brought for her for the pew, and had charged Elizabeth's maid in carrying it through the church.

When finally they pulled up to Mercy Manor Kitty was somewhat surprised. She had been expecting a small hunting lodge. But the manor was a large country house, at least as big as Longbourn. It was set among some old and beautiful gardens.

"It's gorgeous," she told her husband as she stepped from the carriage.

"It's quite my favorite place when I'm in the mood for a peaceful quiet retreat. It's one of your homes now Catherine, I'm glad you like the look of it."

The house was as pretty inside as out. A pair of footman assisted with the trunks. She was shown her room by the housekeeper called Mrs. Wells and left to rest. Exhausted, Kitty napped and was awoken by a pair of maids once the sun had set. They brought her a bath. She relaxed in the tub before dressing for dinner.

Lord Matlock came to her door and escorted her to eat. Their table had been set in a cozy dining room with a large fire blazing. The couple ate a delicious meal and drank fine champagne together, toasting their future life. Together with her husband in the light of the fire Kitty felt no nerves, only excitement as she asked questions about Mercy Manor, Lord Matlock's family, his father and brother's accident. Lord Matlock answered her questions openly, honestly and without offense. He wanted her to know him, and he genuinely wanted to know her.

They retired early and committed to each other – as Julian and Catherine - what they had promised in front of God that morning, by sharing a sweet and tender night together. Kitty slept in her husband's arms where she felt content, safe, and admired, if not loved.

Kitty was delightfully surprised when she awoke in the morning to find Lord Matlock lying next to and looking at her. She did not feel the least self-conscious of his stares, in fact they made her feel quite powerful. When he saw she was fully awake he caressed her gently.

"Lovely Catherine. Good morning wife."

"Good morning Lord, ah, Julian," she smiled.

It was all very different than she had imagined. Lydia's letters after her marriage to Whickham certainly did not paint intimacy in such a blissful light. Kitty had not expected Julian to be there when she woke. In fact she had not expected to sleep with him at all. Even during the day he insisted on being by her side except when they were changing for meals. He said he had left his steward in complete charge and wanted to make the most of his honeymoon. Kitty found that on the brief occasions that they were not together, she found herself looking for him.

It was in the manner that the couple spent the next few days. Engaging each other, talking, sometimes walking the garden. The pair would often sleep late and call for breakfast in Kitty's bedroom. The servants smartly stayed as invisible as possible, to not interfere with the bonding of the couple. They knew that a happy marriage made happy employers, and happy employers are the best people to work for.

They had been at Mercy Manor for a week before Kitty doubted herself and the rationality of marrying Lord Matlock. Not that she'd had a choice in the decision, Mr. Darcy had made it for her. Yes, she had been hoping to leave Longbourn but she had not intentionally snagged Lord Matlock. She had been young, bored and restless that morning in the kitchen. That combination of feelings had caused many a problem for ladies like Kitty. She was a flirtatious girl, and confident that men would respond positively to her. That is why when over cards one evening she had a moment of self-doubt and self-consciousness, that verged on regret.

They had gotten in the habit of sharing a bottle of champagne while playing cards in the evening. This was something Kitty certainly was not used to – but their marriage did deserve a bit of a celebration. The conversation that evening had started with them both delighting in how well they were getting along, and the combination of fate and luck that had brought them together. Lord Matlock was happy to have a woman to take care of, a way please his family, to be moving forward and out of grief and to be someone his employees could look up to and be proud of. Kitty felt blessed to have a kind man who had more than enough means to keep her comfortable. She was happy to be her own woman now, even if she did have to answer to her husband, she found that she rather liked his opinion. In short, they were each very happy in their present situation.

The conversation turned though, at least Kitty thought it turned, and there was a shift of energy between the pair. They had just been laughing over Kitty beating Lord Matlock for the second time in a row at their card game when he looked intently at her and spoke,

"You're not very like her."

Her smile vanished, "Like who Julian?"

"Elizabeth. Your sister."

Kitty did not respond. She was transported back to what seemed like ages ago in a dark hallway, listening to Lord Matlock declare that he loved Elizabeth to Mr. Darcy. That is how it was wasn't it? He told Mr. Darcy Elizabeth was the only woman he had ever seen himself loving.

"Where she is serious, you're light hearted. Where she is theoretical, you're practical. Where she is responsible you're spontaneous," he continued.

"Yes, we are all very different my sisters and I," Kitty responded reluctantly.

"She's the only one I really know."

A moment passed, he stared across the card table intently at his bride. She began to feel very uncomfortable. She felt heat rising into her cheeks. The words he spoke rang in her ears. The picture he painted of Elizabeth of a serious and responsible woman was exactly the picture of a Countess. It hurt to hear that he did not think that she, Kitty, could compare to Elizabeth in the roles of wife, lady, Countess.

Kitty thought she had guarded her heart so well. All this time she was convinced she only admired Lord Matlock. Only thought of him as her new and very best friend. But now she knew she truly loved him beyond admiration. She loved him like a wife does her husband, like a woman does her lover. Like a girl does her first boyfriend. She also knew by his words that it was still Elizabeth whom he really loved.

A lifetime of this pain flashed before her. Could she spend the rest of her life loving someone who did not love her back?

"Julian, I think I've had too much champagne. I think I really must go to bed. I'm not feeling quite the thing. Please excuse me."

She stood from the table, and the ground spun a bit for her. Seeing that her color had changed and that she really was unwell, Lord Matlock rang for a maid. The girl took Kitty on her arm and helped her off to bed.

It was the first night since their marriage that Catherine and Julian slept separately.