Chapter 17 ^^ Its a long chapter compared to the others ones o.o
I have to add an extra warning tho .

warning: self-harm/cutting in this chapter! so be carefull when you start reading the 'inside genjutsu part'
Other than that, enjoy this chapter :)

Previous chapter:
Jiraiya has the difficult task of being the Hokage. While Kakashi and Iruka made the decision to warn the people that Naruto want to keep safe. Sasuke then confronts Jiraiya about the Uchiha's massacre. Jiraiya feeling cornered by Naruto's actions, decide to leave the city with all of its people.

Chapter 17:
See my past

Akatsuki base:
Pain and Tsunade:

"So you want to save the city. That's why you wanted to talk to me?" Pain asked after Tsunade had explained why she had come here with Naruto and how. She had been quite clever, but she had put Naruto at a risk, using the boy like that in front of ANBU cops.

Tsunade gave a nod. "Yes. Since you are the leader. Please just rethink it. Konoha has done nothing wrong, neither have its citizens."

Pain stayed quiet. It seems she didn't know exactly whose idea and mission this was.
"I am afraid I am not capable of stopping it."

"What? Why? You are the leader. Just say the word to leave Konoha alone." Tsunade said, quite shocked by his statement.

"Yes I am the leader and I gave permission for this action. But it is not my wish to destroy Konoha."
Tsunade stayed quiet as she began to understand.
"You are saying that Naruto wants this…?" Tsunade asked, not wanting to believe it.

"That's exactly what I am saying. If you want to save Konoha and its people you are asking the wrong person." Pain stated as he smiled at her.

"You coming here had no reason after all. And now you left the city unguarded. It was a foolish mistake you made, Hokage."

Tsunade felt like she was trapped. Naruto wanted this. Of course he had hated the villagers, but to go so far. She would have never thought that the blond could be capable of it. She had thought that maybe it was the akatsuki's plan.

"Then I want to talk to Naruto." She said. She had to convince him to stop this. She had to protect Konoha, at all cost.

"And once again I need to say. Impossible."
Tsunade glared at the orange-haired male. She had a feeling he was playing games with her.

"Why not. He is somewhere here right?"
"Yes. Of course he is inside the base, but I doubt he wants to get interrupted."
And he didn't even want to think what Itachi would do if his time with Naruto would get interrupted.

"Ugh, bring me to him. I don't care for your reason why I can't talk to him. I need to talk to him. Am I clear?"

"Wow, you sure are bossy. Maybe that's why you are such a good Hokage." He watched her. She didn't react, she would not back down. She would go see Naruto no matter what.

Pain chuckled. "Well it's your funeral." He said while he stood up and walked to the door.
"Please follow me then. I will bring you to him."
Tsunade gave a nod and when Pain couldn't notice it anymore she smiled. She had won.

She followed him through the narrow hallways. And soon she found herself lost. How the hell did the Akatsuki know their way around here. Pain noticed that she had lost her way, just like he had planned. He had been walking in circles.

"Are we almost there yet? This base is damn big…" Tsunade said, but she had a feeling she was walking in circles or everything really looked the same.

"Almost, be patient." Pain replied. Then he stopped. He turned so he could face the Hokage.
"If you follow this path you will find a door on your right. That is where you will find Naruto."

"You aren't coming?" Tsunade asked, feeling as if she was being led in a trap.
"No I will stay here." Pain said as he watched her.

Tsunade then walked forwards. Even if it was a trap, she had no choice to go now did she.
She indeed found a door to her right. Then this must be it.

She raised her hand and knocked on the door. It was silent inside. Was he not inside?
She then looked at Pain who was still standing there, on a safe distance it seemed.

She glared briefly. She felt vulnerable. But it was best if she did not show it. So she knocked again a little bit harder this time.

"What the hell do you want!?" Naruto's voice screamed, irritating was clear in his voice.
Then Tsunade understood what Pain had meant, her eyes widened.

"Uhm. Naruto I need to talk to you." She replied.

"What the!? Tsunade…?" she then heard movement inside the room and a click and the door was opened. Naruto looked at her.

She noticed that Naruto didn't wear the cloak anymore, but just a black shirt and pants.

Naruto then looked outside the room and saw Pain standing there.
"I did warn her, you know. She still wanted to talk to you. Not my fault." Pain said as he shrugged it off and left.

Naruto glared at his back. And then looked back at Tsunade. Tsunade had a feeling she wasn't going to get invited in his room.

"Well, what do you want to talk about?" Naruto asked, as he leaned in the doorway.

"I want you to rethink about destroying Konoha." She replied, not breaking eye contact with the blond.

Naruto laughed. "That is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time, you know."

"But my answer will be clear and simply: No." Naruto said, his face serious.
"I am afraid I can't accept that, Naruto. Surely we can come to another agreement."

"Like I said Tsunade, my answer will remain the same. But now I understand why Pain-sama dropped you here.." Naruto remarked, while he sighed. Naruto looked back at the raven inside the room. He had heard who it had been and what she had wanted. "Let her in, Naruto." Itachi said. "It's kind of rude to let a woman stand on the doorway, you know." Itachi grinned.

Naruto shook his head. Tsunade had heard a voice, she knew that voice though.
Naruto further opened the door. "Well, since it is rude indeed. Come inside. Makes it easier to talk." Naruto said as he simply walked towards the small table in the room and sat down on one of the chairs.

Itachi stood up and walked over to him too, as he sat down next to Naruto. They both looked at Tsunade who was still standing in the doorway, looking at both of them.

Then she finally realized they wanted to talk to her, so she walked in and sat down on the other side of the table, eyeing the two shinobi's in front of her.

"I bet Pain-sama said that you needed to talk to me about the destruction of Konoha?" Naruto asked, looking at the hokage.

"Yes, he said that indeed." Tsunade replied.
"Well you know my answer already." Naruto said while he smiled a bit.
"You won't change your mind then Naruto?" She asked, seeing if she could reach him.

"Nope. I made up my mind when I had a feeling I was strong enough. And I won't back down now."

Tsunade sighed. "Look, I can't change what happened in the past. I can't change the fact that the kyuubi has been sealed into you. But we can change the future. It doesn't have to end like this Naruto. This hatred towards Konoha will get you nowhere."

"We will see about that, Tsunade. It's not only my decision you know. I have found allies in strange places. Right under your very roof to be exact."
Tsunade looked at him in question: "What do you mean?"

Naruto shook his head. "You know the past of the Uchiha's Tsunade?" he then asked.

Tsunade's eyes widened and looked at Itachi. "They have been killed by Itachi, if that's what you mean."

Itachi said nothing as he looked at Naruto and then to Tsunade.
"Wrong." Naruto replied.

"Wrong? I am not wrong. It's the truth." Tsunade said as she watched the Uchiha. "After that he had been labelled as a murderer and a S-Class nin."

"It's not the truth, or not the complete truth." Naruto started. Tsunade looked at him, waiting for the blond to continue which he indeed did.

"It was an order." Naruto said. "Konoha had ordered the assassination of the Uchiha's. and Itachi had received that order."
Tsunade's eyes widened. How did she not know about this, but it had been in the past so she couldn't have known. She didn't even life in Konoha at that time, but still.

Tsunade looked up at Itachi, seeing the other looking at her too. His black eyes watching her reaction at the information she had received.

"So you both want to destroy Konoha, because of reasons why you hate Konoha."
They both stayed silent and Tsunade thought she wouldn't get an answer anymore.

Naruto stood up and Tsunade watched him as he walked towards her and stood next to her.

"You don't know what I have been through. No one ever knew…" Naruto smiled softly.
"I didn't know who I was… why I was so hated… I didn't even know why I existed."

Tsunade's eyes turned sad as she heard Naruto say those words. The words he had buried deep down inside of him. She never thought he would ever admit how hurt he was, but now…

"Naruto…" she whispered. Itachi looked at both of them. Itachi had seen the nightmare's Naruto had. He had seen the hurt in his eyes, when he woke up in the middle of the night. That was 3 years ago.

Naruto rarely had nightmares of his past now. He didn't wake up, screaming or crying at night anymore. Naruto had accepted that kyuubi inside him.

Naruto looked at her. "I will show you. I will let you see what I have been through. Then you might be able to understand me."

Naruto reached out his hand and touched Tsunade's head carefully. Tsunade closed her eyes. Did she want to see what pain Naruto had been through. Could she handle the past of the younger boy…

Naruto looked at Itachi and gave a small nod. Itachi returned that nod and closed his eyes. Opening them again after one second Naruto stared at the sharingan, while he travelled down in his own past, taking Tsunade with him this time.

-Inside the genjutsu:-

Naruto was inside his own house, but he needed to get some stuff, since his refrigerator was empty.

Going outside meant going through town. Seeing those people. Those people that stared and glared at him. Called him monster and demon behind his back, thinking he didn't notice.

Seeing families being happy with each other. A family, something he had never had.
He always had been alone and the villagers made him feel alone.

The young boy stood up, knowing he needed to get some food. Walking through town he pretended not to notice the people looking at him. He pretended not to be hurt. He smiled and whistled, walking through the town and the people.

"Heey, demon boy. Just leave this town already." Someone screamed. Naruto pretentened not to hear it. But then he felt something hit the back of his head. "ahhh." He said, while he grabbed his head in pain. He looked down and noticed it was an empty can. He looked up, the people just stared.

Naruto then glared. "Who did that?" He asked. Then everyone turned around, ignoring him. "Answer me! Who threw that towards me!" no one answered to the young boy.

Naruto walked backwards then he glanced sideways and saw some people still staring at him. It was always the same. Those looks. Why? What have I ever done wrong? Naruto thought.

He then turned around completely and ran. He ran and ran, he didn't want to stop. When he was out of sight he let his tears run free, while he choked on his sobs.

Tsunade watched this and never knew that Naruto's past had been this bad. They had known the villagers hated him, but this…

"Do you understand? Tsunade?" A voice asked. Tsunade recognized the voice, but it was not Naruto's. it was the voice from Uchiha Itachi.

"There is more.." the voice said, as an echo burning in her head. The views she had seen began to change as she tried look where they were. The academy. Naruto was sitting on a swing there. He was looking sad, while watching the other young ones and their families.

then she heard a voice. "Who is that boy, father?" She looked up at the young kid asking his dad, about the sad boy on the swing.

"No one, don't ever talk to him." The father replied, looking at Naruto with fear and anger in his eyes.

"Why?" the kid asked looking up at his father.
The father shook his head, looking back at his kid. "Just promise me, to never go near him."
Then once again the genjutsu was changing.

This time they were in the forest near Konoha.

"Demon! You deserve to die!"
"You got no right to live!"
"Just disappear already!"
"Why do we have to live together with him?"
"This village would be better without you.."

Words… those words. Hurt. They hurt a lot…
He felt kicks, he was getting hit.
"Demon Child!" Blood. Blood was running out of his mouth, he tasted it…
"Dieeeee!"
Yeah, die. He welcomed dead. Deep down he welcomed it more than anything…
When he would wake up, the scars of his beating would be gone. No prove that it had happened.

Tsunade looked as Naruto was lying on the ground, blood coming from his mouth and the villagers kicking him.

He felt a forceful kick against his head, as he rolled onto his back and remained there.

His eyes closed. He felt the people leaving. He remained silent.
a nightmare. His whole life was a nightmare…. Why didn't they kill him. Then he was free. Then they didn't need to put up with him. But they always let him life.

Just to give him another beating next day. Or maybe a few days later. He never knew when to expect it. He had giving up on fighting them off.

Cause when he had fought against them, their parents, their family had been angry. They had scars, wounds that didn't heal.

He had nothing to prove he too had been hurt…
So he simply decided, to never show anyone how hurt he was. He tried to get their attention in every way possible.

Tsunade looked as Naruto was lying completely still. His wounds slowly healing.
Naruto opened his eyes after some time.

"Why don't you just kill me…" he whispered. Naruto sat up.
looking straight ahead he saw a person.
"What do you want?" Naruto asked. "Still want some more, then come and get it!" Naruto screamed at the person he couldn't see well enough to know who it was.

The person left, leaving him alone. Naruto snorted, he softly cried. After some time he stood up and walked back to his home.

He was sitting on his bed, just looking at the wall. His eyes empty.
No emotion at all, as he stared in front of him, not seeing the wall at all.

It was like he was dead, expect he was still breathing. Then tears started forming in his eyes, as they softly rolled over his cheeks and fell down onto the bed.

Tsunade moved forward, wanting to comfort the young boy, knowing she couldn't do anything since it was a genjutsu. Then she felt someone's chakra. She turned around, seeing Itachi standing there. Of course he was the one who showed her this genjutsu.

She looked at him, her eyes sad. "I wasn't in Konoha at this time" she looked back to the young broken boy on the bed. "But if I had known I would have helped him." She finished.

"Then you are one of the persons who he could rely on, Hokage…" Itachi said. She turned back to look at the raven.

Itachi looked next to her, to the young Naruto. "I have seen his past so often now. And it still hurts me I can't do anything to help him…"

Tsunade looked at the Uchiha. "You care for him, Uchiha?" she asked.
Itachi smiled. Tsunade was taken aback, she had never seen an Uchiha smile before. They never showed their emotions that easily.

"Yes, I do care for him. And I wish the best for him. And if he wants Konoha destroyed I will help him, no matter what."

Tsunade sighed and looked back towards Naruto. "I can relate to him now you know. If I was hurt like that…" she laughed a bit. "I would have already attacked anyone, out of pure hate,"

Itachi gave a small nod. "Just watch. It's not finished yet…"

Tsunade looked back, but the Uchiha was gone. What did he mean. What else could have happened. Then she heard movement and looked back to the bed.

Naruto was grabbing his head, while he was still crying. He was grabbing it so forcefully.
"Why…? Why do they hate me… what have I done wrong..?" he asked.

Then he let himself fall back on the bed, his eyes were red from crying. Tsunade sat down on the end of the bed, while she watched the struggle the young blond was in.

the blue eyes were now staring at the ceiling.
Naruto didn't understood.
"I have no reason to live…" he said softly.

He turned around so he was on his side, his hands went towards the drawer next to his bed, as he opened it and pulled out a kunai. Tsunade noticed the kunai was used before, stains of dried blood were on it.

She eyed Naruto as Naruto pulled the kunai towards himself.
"NARUTO!" she screamed, she went forward, wanting to stop him from doing himself any harm.

But she felt she was being pulled backwards, then she remembered it was just a genjutsu. She looked back. The shock was on her face, as Itachi watched her.

" Nooo. Please say this isn't true." Then her eyes went back to the blond, who had indeed cut himself. Blood was on the sheets of the bed. His blue eyes, trying to feel something, even if it was pain. Prove he was still alive, prove he was human…

she saw the kunai in his hands, full of blood… his arms full of blood. But she also noticed there were no scars left. The kyuubi was healing him.

Tsunade fell on her knees, as she cried. This was Naruto's past… this was what he had been hiding all along… the scene was changing once again. The same room, but Naruto looked older now. He had the age from when they first met.

He must be around 12 now then. She noticed he had a kunai in his hands. She shook her head.

"He never had any problem hiding this." Itachi stated softly. "No would have cared enough to see it anyway." Tsunade looked back towards the raven standing behind her.

"How can you handle this..?" she asked.
Itachi looked down at her. "I have seen this all before. I have seen this 3 years ago. Naruto kept having nightmares. So I wanted to help him get rid of them."

Tsunade looked at him and stood up slowly, then she followed the Uchiha's gaze, as she saw how Naruto cut down on his own arms. "He told me. It was prove he was human. Red blood, human blood. The pain he felt. He was addicted to it, before he knew it." Itachi said softly.

Even though Itachi had seen it before he had trouble keeping his emotions in check. He couldn't erase the blonde's past, no matter what he did.

Tsunade looked back at the raven. "Does he still do this to himself..?" she asked softly.
Itachi simply shook his head. "No, I made him stop with it when I found out. He couldn't hide it anymore the moment we started sharing rooms. Besides he didn't want to hide it."

Tsunade looked back towards the scene as she noticed it was changing again. She tried to understand where she was, but she didn't recognize the place. It looked like a hallway. A hallway of a hotel room.

She then saw Itachi and Kisame walking through it.
"That jinchuuriki brat is supposed to be here somewhere." Kisame said.

"This is from my memories. Don't worry Naruto-kun isn't able to see this right now." Itachi stated.
"This is the first time I met Naruto."

She gave a nod as she understood and watched the two Akatsuki members walking towards a door and knocking on it. The door was close enough to see that a blond boy opened the door.

He had been cursing at most likely Jiraiya as Tsunade had heard the name Ero-sennin from inside.
When Naruto had opened the door however he looked up to see two ninja's standing there.

"Naruto-kun. You are coming with us." Itachi said.
Tsunade looked at Naruto, who was still standing in the doorway looking at the Uchiha before him.

"I noticed in that one second what he had kept hiding. I noticed what no one else saw." Itachi said towards Tsunade. Tsunade looked sideways towards the Uchiha.

"Not everyone is strong, Hokage-sama." Itachi said softly. "Not everyone can stand being despised…"

Then everything started to change and Tsunade felt that was being freed from the genjutsu.

-End of the genjutsu part!-

Naruto looked at Tsunade, as she slowly opened her eyes again. She had been crying Naruto had noticed it.

She looked up, as she felt Naruto remove his hand from her head. Naruto walked backwards. Itachi quickly jumped and pulled the blond against him.

Although it had been a long time ago. Of course it would have hurt the blond.
Tsunade looked at both of them, as Itachi hugged Naruto and kept him safe.

Itachi looked at her, his eyes were black. Then slowly he turned on his sharingan, and she felt herself being pulled back.

She noticed an empty room around her.
"Leave Naruto here. Leave this place. He will not back down from his choice. I hope you understand that now." Itachi's voice echoed throughout the realm.

Tsunade looked down. "Yes. I understand his reasons… but as the Hokage I can't afford to see me people die. You must understand that too."

"You will fight Naruto and the Akatsuki then?"
She looked up, noticing the Uchiha standing in front of her.

"I will fight the Akatsuki. I don't want to harm Naruto."

"But Naruto's wants to harm your villagers. How will you stop him then, without harming or hurting him?"

Tsunade glared, knowing that it was a difficult situation. "I don't care. I will find a way."

"There is no other way. You will end up fighting Naruto if you want to save the city."
"I don't want that!" She almost screamed.

"Then surrender Konoha…" Itachi's voice said and the realm and the genjutsu disappeared again.
When she looked back up, she noticed that Itachi still held Naruto close to him. Naruto softly cried into his chest.

she slowly stood up and walked towards them. She looked at the Uchiha, his eyes were black again, but he still watched her, very carefully.
She saw how he would do anything to protect the boy in his arms. And she smiled at it.

Naruto wasn't alone anymore. He had found someone to share his pain, his hurt. But also his smiles, his laughter. Jiraiya had said they were close, but now she understood just how close. She could see the love in the Uchiha's eyes.

His desire to protect the fragile boy in his arms.

"I will leave. I will return to Konoha." Tsunade said softly.
"I will protect it till the end." Naruto opened his eyes. Those words he didn't want to hear…

He turned around in Itachi's arms and saw her smile at him.
Itachi glared, she hadn't listened to a thing he had said.

"Come and try to take it one day Naruto." She said. "I will be amazed by how strong you have become. Ah, I already am amazed." She reached out her hand and touched Naruto's head.

"You have matured so much..." she smiled at him.
"I am proud of you." She then walked backwards. "You going to let me out?" She asked.

It took a moment for Naruto to realize what she wanted. Then he laughed and gave a small nod.
"Yes. Of course. Let me show you the way."

"Naruto-kun?" Itachi said. Pain wouldn't be happy that someone not a member of the Akatsuki was leaving this place alive.

"I will handle it, somehow." Naruto said as he smiled at Itachi, knowing what he was worried about.
Itachi sighed as he shook his head.

Naruto moved forwards. "If you would follow me." Naruto said, as he walked out of the bedroom into the hallway. Itachi walked after them.

Tsunade stayed silent as she followed the blond, when she looked behind her she noticed the Uchiha was following them. She wondered if what Naruto had said about the Uchiha's past was true, when she got back to Konoha she would need to find out about it.

When they were outside, Tsunade sighed. Fresh air…
"Yeah, well it sucks to live underground, doesn't it?" Naruto asked, as he watched her breath in some fresh air.

"Yeah. A little bit." She said as she looked at the blond.
"Naruto…" she said softly. Naruto and Itachi both looked at her. "I am glad you are finally happy. You deserve it." Then she looked towards Itachi.

"Look after him will you?" She asked with a knowing smile.
Naruto then looked back curiously at Itachi. Who stayed silent, but had giving a small nod towards Tsunade.

Tsunade smiled. Itachi then knew she had understood it all. Even if it would end up being war, she was glad that Naruto was happy now. That he had found a place where he could belong.

Tsunade then jumped forwards, leaving the Akatsuki base behind her. Leaving Naruto behind her.
But she knew he was in good hands. In better hands even.

End of chapter 17 xD
I got some ideas ready for the next chapters o.o. So when i finish writing them, i will once again update :)
Since i can't stop writing, you guys are lucky xD. but it took me long enough to finish my stories T.T(published 3 years ago)

Well cya ya all in the next chapter ^^
Thanks for the nice reviews :)