Chapter Eleven

It had to have been a dream because it didn't feel real at all for Faith. They hadn't moved from where they stood with Faith pressing Buffy up against the door. Their frantic kisses had turned slow, lingering and deep, the kind of kisses that made Faith's toes curl from the intense passion of it all.

Faith moaned as Buffy's fingers slid under her shirt, her soft fingers caressing her skin lightly. Everything that was happening between them was happening so slowly, like every small touch, every kiss was just a test to see if the other would put an end to whatever was happening between them. If this had been anyone else other than Buffy, they'd be naked and in bed by that point, Faith knew that, but it was different and she couldn't quite figure out why.

Buffy trailed her lips from her mouth and down to Faith's neck, kissing her was lightly towards her ear. It set something off inside of Faith, something that was making her lose whatever she had left of her self-control.

"Are you still scared?" Buffy whispered into her ear and it made Faith's breath hitch in her chest.

"Terrified," she shakily replied, her voice sounding foreign to her.

"Don't be."

Buffy's lips found her way back to Faith's and she kissed her deeply, her hands sliding further up Faith's shirt, fingers dancing along the skin of her back. Faith slid her hands under Buffy's shirt, shivering as she felt the warm, soft skin against her hands. It felt like they were clinging to each other, completely lost in the moment they'd somehow created together. It wasn't at all how Faith imagined it'd be between them. She thought it'd be hard and fast, rough and dirty, much like how they used to fight against each other. This was turning into everything she never thought it'd be and it was terrifying.

"What are we doing here, Buffy?" Faith asked quietly.

"I don't know. I thought we were just kissing."

It made Faith laugh with the way she'd said it, soft and all innocent like when Faith knew it was anything but that. Buffy had a dazed look in her eyes and a slight pout settled over her lips. Faith pulled away from her, taking an uneasy step back as she put some space between them. She wasn't sure what was happening between them, but of course she wasn't stupid. They'd been kissing, making out like a couple of horny teenagers locked in the supply closet in between classes. It made her laugh just thinking about how they'd been acting since Buffy came in there to talk to her and refused to leave.

It made her head spin because she was over-thinking this whole thing. She couldn't blame herself for it either, this was Buffy after all and if there was one thing that Buffy was good at, it was getting under her skin and driving her completely crazy. Whatever was happening between them, Faith knew it had started with that spell and whatever it was that Buffy had felt, it had brought them to where they were now.

"Faith?" Buffy said cautiously as she took a few steps towards her. "Are you okay?"

Faith laughed incredulously. "Million dollar question, isn't it? Am I okay? I'm fucking freaking out here, Buffy!"

"Yeah, I can so tell with the way you'd just been standing there laughing like a crazy person to yourself for the last couple of minutes," Buffy replied, tongue in cheek as she tried to keep from laughing at Faith's expense.

"Why can't you just go away?"

"You don't want me to."

Faith scoffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "What makes you so sure about that?"

"Because you kissed me back, Faith."

"Got lost in the moment," she shrugged. "Kind of lost it now, huh?"

"Looks like it," Buffy replied, the softness in her eyes being replaced with anger. "I don't understand you at all! I threw myself at you, took a chance and you just-you just have to question everything, don't you?"

"Well yeah, I do. It's you and me, Buffy!"

"We have history, so what? God, is there something wrong with me? I thought you-god, I don't know what I thought I felt during that spell, but I thought I felt something I never thought I'd feel again."

"And what's that?"

"Love, you idiot!"

Faith couldn't stop the heartless laughter that escaped. It tore her up inside, but she couldn't stop it. Buffy charged at her then, lashing out in the one way she did best, with her fists. Faith struggled to block her punches and she grappled with her until they landed on the floor, Faith on top and struggling to grab a hold of Buffy's wrists.

"Let go of me!" Buffy yelled as she writhed under Faith once she had a hold of her.

"Stop hitting me then."

"Get off of me!"

"Make me," Faith snapped and in a split second she found herself losing all sense of control as she crushed her lips against Buffy's in a hard and bruising kiss.

Buffy moaned and she hooked a leg over Faith's hip as soon as Faith let go of the hold her had on her wrists. Buffy's hands went to Faith's head, her fingers tangling in her hair as she kissed her back just as hard. Faith had lost her control, it checked out when Buffy started trying to hit her. She moved a hand between them and flicked open the top of Buffy's jeans, not even hesitating for a second before she plunged her hand down inside her jeans.

"Is this what you want?" Faith grunted as she cupped Buffy roughly, feeling how hot and wet she was through the thin material of her panties.

Buffy whimpered, her fingers digging into the back of Faith's head as she rolled her hips against Faith's hand. Faith could feel that animalistic desire coursing through her and she rubbed her hard, eliciting another moan out of her. She stared down into Buffy's eyes, feeding of the hunger and desire she found in her intense gaze. She slipped her fingers past the edges of her panties, her fingers drowning in the wetness that gathered there.

"Oh god," Buffy trembled beneath her, her leg that was hooked around Faith's waist falling to the side as she spread her legs for her.

"Is this what you want?" Faith asked again and she didn't let Buffy answer her. Her lips crushed against Buffy's, their tongues instantly dancing, dueling for dominance as Faith easily slid a single finger inside her, her heat nearly scorching to the touch.

"No," Buffy said against her lips and it made Faith stop, every movement she'd been making she froze and pulled back from her. "Not like this."

Faith laughed, pulling her hand out of her jeans and forced herself to get up to her feet. It was just a game, she kept reminding herself, just another game that Buffy was playing with her. She didn't know what was happening or why it was happening, but they were just so caught up in a heated moment together that it was becoming entirely screwed up.

"What the hell do you want from me?" Faith nearly yelled at Buffy as she rose to her feet and reached for Faith's hands. "God, Buffy, what do you want from me?"

"I want you to stop fighting this," she whispered, her voice soft and sure. "Please."

"Get out."

"Faith-"

"Get. Out."

Faith was shaking and unable to watch Buffy as she left her room, slamming the door shut behind her and leaving her reeling in a flood of emotions. She let out a ferocious yell, hitting the hard plaster wall with both fists until they were left covered in plaster dust and bleeding. She fell to the floor, fighting the tears that stung her eyes.

What the hell just happened? What is happening to me? Make it stop. Make. It. Stop.

Faith curled up on the floor, her arms wrapped around herself and she shut out the world in the only way she knew how. She lost herself then for the first time in over three years. She lost herself to the voices in her head, to the feelings that she couldn't shake and to the guilt of letting herself let things get as far as they did with Buffy.

Willow had felt it that moment she heard Buffy and Faith yelling at each other. She had felt that surge of power, that energy that had once felt like it would never be felt again. She felt that electricity, that crackle of magic that once surged through her when she heard them screaming at each other, but she felt it more when things fell silent and she didn't-couldn't even imagine what was going on up there between them.

That energy could be felt through the entire house. The magic, what shred of it was left, was thriving. Dangerously so. And then it was gone, in an instant, followed by the sound of a door slamming that reverberated so loudly it sounded like she was right there next to it when it had happened.

"Why can't they just let things be?" Willow asked out loud and she was startled when Robin walked into the kitchen, shaking his head.

"Because they'll never let it just be," he said solemnly. "Too much history."

"And then some."

"You need to go to her," Robin said as he motioned above. "She needs you right now, Willow."

"Doubt she wants anyone around right now."

"She needs you," he said again, pointedly so. "You're her best friend. She's fighting this losing battle and we both know if she's left alone, she's going to lose it completely."

"What am I supposed to say?" Willow asked, not even knowing the answer herself. "This is Buffy and whatever just happened between them, it was way more than intense."

"I know. I felt it too," Robin replied, frowning as he rubbed over his head. "We all felt it. Willow, their connection is still very much there and if we want to resolve this, we need to help them resolve whatever it is that is going on between them."

"Good luck with that," Willow scoffed. "You do realize that it took Faith pretty much forever to accept her feelings for Buffy? I've never seen her like that before, Robin. When she told me-"

"I'm glad she finally did."

"You knew?"

"Pretty much from day one. Doesn't take a genius to realize that Faith had broken apart because she couldn't deal with how she felt about her. Whatever has just happened between them, we need to be there for her, for Faith. We're all she has right now."

"How?" Willow asked. "How can we be there for her? She'll just shut us down like she always does when it comes to Buffy."

"Try," Robin encouraged. "You're the only one she truly trusts, more than Angel. You have to try, Willow. We need her just as much as we need Buffy right now. If this spell you and Nelly are going to do in a few days is to work, we need them to be on a level ground."

"Without the whole angst and sexual tension throwing them both for a loop?"

"Got it in one."

"Even though she's not a slayer and doesn't have that advantage, I'm still kind of scared of her," Willow said and she breathed out heavily, shaking her head at the look Robin was giving her. "I know she's my best friend. There's just some things we never talk about and one of those things is-"

"Buffy."

Willow nodded and frowned. She knew things had just gotten a whole lot more complicated and they just weren't dealing with Azri'el anymore. They were dealing with Buffy and Faith finally coming to realize what it is they felt about each other. It was the spell, it had to be. Willow was certain of it. Somehow that spell had allowed Buffy to feel whatever it was that Faith was feeling and she acted upon it.

"We were so stupid," Willow said and she hung her head down low. "I knew how Faith felt about her, what she said about feeling connected to Buffy on a level none of us will ever understand. I should've known that that spell would've made Buffy feel what she felt. How could I have been so stupid, Robin?"

"Go talk to her, Willow."

"And Buffy?"

"Don't worry about her, worry about Faith right now. She needs you now more than ever and don't doubt that you can be there for her. She trusts you, Willow," Robin said and he motioned for her to go to Faith. "Just go and be there for her right now. If I can feel that she needs a friend right now more than anything, I know you feel it too."

Willow headed straight upstairs to Faith's room, hesitating just for a moment before she walked in without knocking. She found Faith curled up on the floor, a distant and blankness look in her eyes as she laid there, staring into nothing. Willow laid down next to her and gently ran her hand over her arm, hoping that somehow she could reach her without words.

"Faith," she sighed when there was no reaction. "Don't shut me out, please. It's me, it's Willow," she tried. "Please don't shut me out like you shut everyone else out. I'm not her, Faith. Whatever happened between you two, we all felt it and I want to understand. I want to help make it better."

"Go away," Faith rasped. "Just go away and leave me alone, Wil. Please."

"No."

"Just as bad as she is," Faith muttered. "Just can't go away, can't leave me alone. Always gotta play some more games, fucking with me just cos she can."

"Faith..." Willow trailed off and from the emptiness in Faith's eyes, she knew she lost her then. She couldn't stop her tears from falling as she pulled Faith to her. She couldn't even imagine what she was going through and she hated Buffy for putting her through this, for doing whatever it was that she did to put Faith in this state.

There had been a time where Willow would've done anything for Buffy, a time where she understood why Buffy did the things she did. But that time had long since passed and they were further apart from each other, perfect strangers in a sense, and the only thing she did understand was the pain and the heartbreak that Faith was feeling there and now because of Buffy.

She could feel the lingering of her former power, the magic flowing through her, feeding off her own emotions and Faith's. She gently stroked her hair, feeling her shiver as she tried to recoil in her gentle embrace. She had never seen anyone suffer so much from their emotions, fighting so hard to feel everything else but what they really felt. She knew Faith and she knew how far she'd come and how, with Buffy, it would set her back a hundred steps if she wasn't offered a life-line of sorts to pull her out of those dark depths that tempted her back to that side.

"I wish things were different for you, Faith. You don't deserve that pain, that turmoil you go through when it comes to her. I want you to know how to let go, let go of her, the things you feel if it hurts you this much. Goddess, I can feel your pain now and I don't know if it was the spell or what, but I can feel it and it scares me."

Faith twitched in her arms and yet said nothing. Willow held back her tears as she continued to stroke her hair.

Willow worried for her, more now than ever before. After hearing the things that Faith had said to her in regards of her feelings for Buffy, she worried about how it was affecting her, how if something had happened between them-and she knew it did-how it would affect Faith in the long run. She knew how delicate Faith could be, despite her projected hard exterior. She knew that when it came to what she felt, she was vulnerable and at her weakest, subjected to be played into whatever game whoever wanted to play with her that week.

But it was Buffy who had done this to her. And Buffy was different than any of the others. Faith loved Buffy despite trying so hard not to. Whatever had happened between the two of them that night, it had destroyed Faith, brought her to the nearly catatonic state she was in at that moment.

Willow could almost understand, she knew the kind of pull that Buffy had in any and all that were in her life, but when it came to Faith, Buffy was her downfall and her everything all at once and she just wasn't strong enough to learn how to deal with it.

"Don't pull away from me now," Willow whispered to her. "Please, Faith. Don't pull away from me now. I'm here for you. Always. Don't ever forget that."

She held Faith for what felt like hours until she felt the familiar tug of sleep reign her in. She never let her go, holding her close, relishing that moment of being there for her even if she wasn't consciously aware of it.

Faith woke up late the next morning and she wasn't alone in her bed. Willow was sitting up against the headboard, flipping through on of the magazines she had piled up on the bedside table. With a tired groan, she sat up slowly, not remembering when she'd fallen asleep, but remembering everything else that had happened in vivid detail.

Her hands were still bloody and covered with plaster dust and she frowned as she flexed her hands in and out of a fist. Willow tossed the magazine down on the bed between them and she said nothing, just watching as Faith stood up from her bed and pulled at the clothes she'd slept in all night.

"Hey," Faith said to Willow and she even offered a little smile, forcing it to come out.

"How are you feeling this morning, Faith?"

"Shitty," she replied honestly. "And starving too. Did ya stay in here all night?"

"I wanted to make sure you were going to be okay."

"Feeling alright now," she shrugged, trying to play it off even though she felt far from alright. "How about we head downstairs and get some breakfast?"

"It's nearly lunch time."

"Lunch then."

"Faith?" Willow called out to her before she could open the bedroom door. "Can we talk about what happened last night?"

"Ain't nothing to talk about, Wil."

Faith ran her hands through her hair, wincing at the pain she felt with every little movement she made with her fingers. Punching the wall had been a mistake. Kissing Buffy back had been a mistake. Nearly fucking Buffy on her bedroom floor had definitely been a mistake.

"I know something happened with-"

"She fucking kissed me, Wil!" Faith said, her voice raising as she spun around to look at her. "She came in here and she fucking kissed me. Things got outta hand, okay, and it left with me kicking her out once all was said and done."

"Did you-"

"No," she snapped. "Almost, but no."

"Oh."

"Why does she do this to me?" Faith whispered as she sat down on the bed facing Willow. "Why does she get to play these games with me and I just let her? I almost lost control of myself, Wil, and I didn't want to let things get as far as they did. If it were up to her, if I played her little game she was reeling me into last night, it would've been her in my bed this morning and not you."

Faith could see the wheels turning in Willow's head, yet she kept her face expressionless as she could manage. Faith felt like she was teetering on the edge she'd fallen over last night, where she lost a part of herself to that darkness that would always linger inside of her.

"I felt it last night," Willow whispered. "I knew there was something going on up here with you two. I could feel the magic, the power of it and it was electrifying. And then it was gone and I knew things hadn't ended well for either of you. I don't know why she does this to you, why she is the way she is. If I knew, I'd tell you, but I don't even know her anymore."

"You felt it?" Faith questioned, confused. "How could you feel what was happening?"

"When we did the spell, we saw what your connection did when you two just held hands. I felt it then too, but not nearly as much as I did after you two had left the dining room. Faith, what you two have inside of you, it's stronger when you are closer together than it is when you're apart. If we want this spell to work, we need you two to be-"

"Close. Got it."

"Faith-"

"I'll deal. For the greater good, right?"

"It's going to be a few days, maybe a week before we can do the spell to locate and bring the orb here to us. There are some things that we need that are going to be a little difficult to get our hands on."

"Oh yeah? Difficult how?"

"There needs to be a knife blessed by two blind monks in Tibet that we'll use to sacrifice a full-grown hen born specifically on the third full moon of the year. Like I said, a little bit difficult, but between Colin and Nelly, even Andrew, they have connections that can get us what we need. It'll just take some time."

"In the meantime?" Faith asked. "We're gonna do what? Same old song and dance we've been doing since we got here? Little bit of research, little bit of doing nothing at all, maybe see if we can score some of that old Scotch that Nelly won't let anyone drink."

Willow laughed and shook her head. "How about we just go and get something to eat to start with and let the day happen however it happens?"

Faith smiled a little. She could count on Willow, even now, to be there for her and she had truly thought that after being around Buffy and Xander, that Willow might've gone back to being the way she was. Who was she kidding? Everything had changed and after last night, she knew that Willow wasn't going anywhere.

There were things she was confused about, but knew questioning it wouldn't get her anywhere right now. Not even Willow could give her a definite answer as to why the connection she had with Buffy still lingered, why it was stronger when they touched rather than just being in the same room together. It made her a little uneasy because it made her feel vulnerable knowing that when she was that close to Buffy, she became an entirely different person until she grabbed a hold of her emotions and shut her out.

Things were never going to be easy, not when it came to Buffy. Faith knew she was stupid to think that'd change. But maybe things had changed and still were and she was just caught in the middle of a coming storm she could just feel was about to get bigger before it died off completely, leaving a trail of destruction along the way.

Faith sat alone in the den, watching the newly built fire burn in the fireplace. She had spent most of the day by herself, locked in her room. She finally was able to sleep some more, her body in a state of relief it was getting the rest she had been denied for weeks. Outside, the sun was slipping beyond the horizon and she could already feel the cold chill the night was bringing even in the den with the warmth of the fire licking at her skin.

It didn't matter whether she tried to shut out all thoughts about Buffy, they just kept on coming back to her, the events of the day before replaying over and over again. Faith didn't know how to stop them, how to shut her out like she'd been able to do so easily before. Even after what happened between them, she still loved her. It was something she couldn't turn on or off like a light switch, although there were a lot of times she wished she could do just that.

Faith felt her before she saw her and she groaned softly, burying her face into her hands. She could feel the tension in the back of her neck and all she wanted was to be left alone.

"Are ya ever gonna leave me alone, Buffy?"

"Faith-"

"Why can't you just fucking leave me alone, huh?" Faith snapped and she turned in the chair, dropping her hands from her face as she glared at Buffy as she lingered by the closed door.

"Why are you shutting me out? Why do you have to keep pushing me away?"

Faith scoffed, fighting the urge to laugh at her. She didn't say anything and instead she turned and faced the fireplace again, focusing all her attention on the flames curling over the wood. Faith clenched her fists as Buffy walked over and stood by her chair, leaving just enough space between them that it didn't feel like she was right in Faith's face.

"I thought we were going to try to be friends?" Buffy said quietly and Faith rolled her eyes. She stood up from the chair and walked over to the fireplace. "Is this how it's going to be now? You're just going to ignore me?"

"Maybe then you'll get the hint just to leave me alone."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Suit yourself," Faith said and she turned quickly on her heels and headed for the door. Buffy moved quickly and put herself between Faith and the door. "Move."

"No."

Faith laughed hard and cold and she grabbed Buffy's shoulders. "Look, what happened yesterday has really fucked with my head, so if you're looking to finish this, think again. It's already done. Now get out of my way and just leave me the fuck alone, will ya?"

Buffy stood her ground, her face hard and stoic as she struggled against Faith trying to move her from blocking the door. Faith growled in frustration and pushed her up against the door hard, catching her slightly off guard. She was angry and it showed, but the intensity in Buffy's eyes was unlike anything she'd seen before. She felt drawn in to her and she was trying so hard to detach herself from everything that Buffy was making her feel.

Faith crushed her lips against Buffy's in a bruising kiss, allowing herself to let go and give in to whatever was going on between them. She was giving in to what had started yesterday before she had been the one to put a stop to things. Faith moaned into Buffy's mouth, her hands gripping Buffy's waist as she pulled her against her and away from the door. She pulled back just enough to catch her breath and she opened her eyes to find Buffy's staring right back into hers.

They were clinging to each other and Faith didn't even realize that Buffy was slowly leading them away from the door and over to one of the couches in the middle of the room. Faith tried to get herself to stop, tried to let go of Buffy, push her away and make a run for it, but that intensity in Buffy's eyes was what kept her lost in the moment and trapped into everything that Buffy was making her feel.

"This is far from being done, Faith," Buffy whispered against her lips. "Whatever is happening between us, just let go and stop fighting it. Just let whatever is going to happen, happen."

"What do you want from me, Buffy?" Faith asked her and she stopped Buffy when she tried to kiss her. "You want a one off? Get some, get gone? Is that what you want from me?"

"No, I-"

"You think that's what I want from you, don't you? Well fuck you if that's what you think I want from you, Buffy. Just fuck you and your goddamn head games!"

Buffy fell silent, her hands dropping away from Faith quickly like she'd been scalded just by touching her. Faith laughed incredulously and headed for the door, not surprised when Buffy tried to put herself between her and the door yet again. Faith wasn't having any of it and she pushed Buffy out of the way, forcefully yanking the door open and she stormed down the hall to the front door. She nearly ripped her jacket off the hook and stepped into her boots, heading straight out the front door and slamming it shut behind her.

Faith screamed out ferociously, her whole body trembling as she grabbed on to the side of her truck to keep from falling to the cold, hard ground. She yanked the door open and climbed into the truck, fumbling through her jacket looking for the keys. She had to get out of there, she had to get as far away from Buffy as she possibly could. She couldn't think straight around her or even just being in the same house as her.

"Shit," Faith yelled as she found her pockets empty of her keys. She could've sworn after she'd been in the truck the last time she'd kept them in her jacket pocket right where they always were. "Can this day possibly get any worse?"

"Maybe," Andrew said from where he sat on the passenger seat. "Depends on what you're planning to do, where you're planning on going. If you leave the property-"

"Jesus, Andrew! What the hell are you doing in my truck?"

Andrew shrugged and ran a single finger over her dash. "When is the last time you cleaned in here?"

"Andrew..."

"Fine, fine!" Andrew said quickly, holding up his hands in surrender. "I wanted to go for a drive and your keys were the only ones I could find. Then I figured that if you found out I'd taken your truck, you'd probably kill me, slayer or not."

Faith held out her hand and Andrew willingly handed over her keys. "Now get out."

"Is there something wrong, Faith?"

"Get. Out."

"Come on, Faith," Andrew pleaded. "If you're going for a drive, can I come?"

"No."

Faith reached over him and opened the door. Andrew braced himself and struggled against her trying to push him out of her truck. Sighing, Faith sat back in her seat and gripped the steering wheel hard. Andrew shut the door again and turned to look at her with a smug grin on his face.

"Where we going?"

"Just for a drive. Do yourself a favor and shut up unless you want me to dump you at the edge of the property and you'll be walking back in the cold and the dark."

"Shutting up now."

Faith rolled her eyes and drove off towards the gravel road that led around the property. She turned on the radio and cranked it as loud as she could stand. It was all that she could do to forget that she'd been ambushed by Andrew and to push back all the thoughts of Buffy. In fact she was almost grateful Andrew was there, at least then she wouldn't be alone with the thoughts in her head that were threatening to drive her completely insane.

Willow knocked on Buffy's bedroom door shortly after she'd heard the front door slam followed a few minutes later by the sound of Buffy running upstairs. She needed a break from research anyway and she wanted to find out what was going on. She had felt it earlier, that intensity of magic rippling through the air and with the way Faith had gone running out of the house, it left her concerned that something had happened between her and Buffy again and she was going to find out just what Buffy thought she was doing messing with Faith like that.

"Who is it?"

"It's me," Willow replied. "Can I come in?"

Buffy opened the door for her a minute later and Willow wasn't prepared to see the look that was on her face. She'd been crying and still was, but it was clear she was struggling to fight back the tears now that Willow was there.

"If you've come to yell at me, have at it, Wil. It's not like I don't deserve it."

"I didn't come to yell at you," she replied with a frown and followed her into the bedroom. Willow shut the door behind her and took a deep breath. "What happened, Buffy?"

"You mean yesterday or ten minutes ago?"

"I know about yesterday," Willow said, her voice calm and steady even though she really did want to yell at Buffy right now no matter what state of mind she was in. "What happened today?"

"I went to her. I just wanted to talk to her, Wil. She keeps shutting me out no matter what and I just can't stand it anymore. I can't stand it."

Willow approached her cautiously, not sure what she was getting at. It'd been a long time since they'd been close and Willow couldn't even remember the last time that she and Buffy had a nice long, heart to heart. Before the end of Sunnydale, that much she knew.

"What can't you stand, Buffy?"

"The fact that all I feel now that I'm here is her and it's driving me crazy because I can't shut these feelings off, I can't make them go away and all I want is for her to know that what she feels for me, I'm feeling it too!"

Buffy's hands flew up to her mouth after she'd practically yelled the words out at Willow and she sat heavily down on the bed, her whole body shaking as she tried to suppress her tears. Willow was as surprised as she was to hear that come out of her mouth. She was in no way prepared to deal with a situation like this. It was bad enough that Faith had told her everything she felt about Buffy just the other night, but in Faith's case, she already knew.

"How long have you been feeling it?" Willow asked her, choosing to stay standing while Buffy sat on the bed. "Buffy?"

"A-a while. I'm not sure."

"Since you've been here or before?"

"If I say before, are you going to ask me for how long and when it started because I really can't answer that question, Wil."

"This is kind of crazy," Willow said under her breath, mostly to herself. "A lot has been happening this year and just this past month, hello crazy-town, population all of us involved in this situation!"

"Faith and I are a situation?"

"No, the whole Azri'el situation," Willow replied and found it hard not to laugh at the oblivious look on Buffy's face. "Look, Buffy, I know things haven't been the same between us for a long time now, but you need to know that I care about Faith and the last thing I want to see is for you to hurt her again. If you have feelings for her, give her some time before you tell her what it is that you feel about her, whether it's lust or love or something in between that. Don't throw yourself at her. I know her better than anyone and for you to throw yourself at her the way you did, it confuses her."

"I never thought-"

"No, you didn't think at all. How else did you think she'd react? Did you think she wouldn't push you away? That she'd take whatever it is you were offering to her at the time?" Willow spat and she shook her head. "I know you aren't stupid and that you've known, probably for a long time or even just had a feeling that Faith is in love with you. How else did you expect her to react when all she's ever done is fight what she's felt when it comes to you?"

Buffy buried her face into her hands, her body shaking as she cried softly. Willow knew she should feel bad for saying what she did, but all of it was the truth and Faith was her friend, her best friend, and there was no way she was going to let Buffy pull her back down into the darkness she'd left behind long ago.

"Do yourself and Faith a favor and give her the space she wants. If she tells you to leave her alone, then you do just that. You can't force something to happen between you two, not now of all times when we're in a heavy situation that we're so close to putting an end to. Just for once would you stop being so damn selfish and think before you act?" Willow said angrily and she reached for the door, yanking it open. "You know what?" She said as she looked over at Buffy. "I can't wait for this whole thing to be done and over with so you can go back to your pathetic life in San Francisco, acting like none of us even matter."

And with that Willow left her room with not a single regret for saying what she had to say.