"Are you serious?!" The outburst caught the attention of a certain silver-haired teenager. Seeing his short, black-haired friend slumped over the keyboard with disbelief written all over her face was a cause for great concern.
"What's wrong?"
Her aqua-blue eyes were dimmed with weariness as the girl raised her head and looked up at him. "I've been following this fanfic about Kairi and Naminé fighting the Organization that's been building up to this huge climatic battle...only for it to end with something out of left field."
He leaned over her shoulder to get a closer look at the screen. "Are we in it?"
"Apparently we only get a breaking the fourth wall cameo that has nothing to do with the story."
"So we're just filler material?"
"Pretty much." She leaned back in her seat, pondering. "But something else has been bothering me ever since the whole thing started."
"What's that?"
"Since I have all of Sora's memories, I should be attracted to girls, right? And yet I couldn't help but feel jealous that Naminé was the one to marry Roxas. Does that make me straight, bi or selfcest?" The boy flashed her an amused grin.
"Depends. Do you have any attraction towards me?" he asked.
"Why? Are you asking me out?" she countered.
"Well, you've got Sora's memories and I have Riku's. It almost puts the whole yaoi pairings into canon if you think about it." The girl's eyes widened with a mixture of surprise and disgust.
"That's...an interesting way to put things."
"Actually I've been meaning to ask you. I know that I don't, but since we both have artificial bodies, does that mean you have...you know..." His eyes flickered across her body. "...down there?" She blushed and gave him a disturbed look.
"Honestly? I don't think that's any of your business. But now that you mention it, did Vexen really have any reason to create those little details for either of us? I mean, we're replicas intended to replace our originals. I think the last thing he would be concerned about is if either of us got laid. Especially to each other," she added in afterthought. The silver-haired replica stared at his companion in awkward silence. "What?"
"I think you've been on the computer for too long." He motioned toward the door. "Come on; let's get some sea-salt ice cream. My treat."
It took less than a second for the Kairi look-alike to make a decision. "Oh fine, if you insist," she giggled. "I want the chocolate-dipped one, though."
"It's a date."
Kairi felt a warm, pleasurable sensation over her heart. Despite the dreary cold of battle, her muscles twitched as it sent tingles of titillation throughout her entire body. In fact, it felt sort of...moist.
Her eyes snapped open. To her unending and undying embarrassment, she realized that her chest had been smothering Sora's face.
"Kyaaa!" She quickly shifted her body weight off of him and instinctively slapped Sora. "You pervert!"
"Uh, Kairi?" Naminé seemed to be just as creeped out and confused as Kairi was. "This is Sora we're talking about. He would never willingly place his mouth on your b-"
"Oh my gawd!" Kairi placed one hand underneath his head and used the other to gently pat his face in an attempt to wake him up. "Sora, are you alright?!"
"...squishy..." was Sora's mumbled reply. Kairi rolled her eyes before leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the lips. Sora immediately sat up as if shocked with adrenaline.
"Morning, sleepyhead," Kairi teased. Sora took one look at her and immediately reddened. He quickly turned his head away from her, holding up a hand to block his sight. Confused about his reaction, she couldn't help but be concerned. Slinking closer, she asked "What's wrong?"
"K-Kairi...your clothes..." Kairi finally noticed a gentle breeze playing across her skin. She glanced down and found that every article of clothing she had been wearing had mysteriously vanished.
"Oh, come on!" she exclaimed as she quickly covered her naughty bits. "Why am I naked?!"
"It was probably the Codebreaker," Naminé muttered darkly. "Here, let me take over and my outfit should appear, right?" Kairi's hair tinkled into a brilliant blonde as Naminé's form took over. "Okay, how's that?" Sora took another glance toward the girl before quickly averting his head again.
"Oh...wow." Roxas' voice strained as he struggled to keep his voice neutral. "Could you look again? I don't think we got a good enough view."
This time it was Naminé's turn to blush as she quickly covered herself. "What's going on?! Why am I naked too?!" Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she whirled around to see Riku holding out a small scrap of fabric toward her. His eyes were closed as well. "Gee, thanks, Riku," Naminé said sarcastically. "This should be enough to cover at least one of these." Riku ignored the sarcasm, chalking it up to stress and embarrassment.
"Just trust me on this one." Curious, Naminé took the piece of cloth. "Now try transforming back." As Naminé changed back into Kairi, the girls were surprised that their outfit rematerialized completely whole. "You can't create clothes out of nothing," Riku explained. "Even a little piece of fabric is enough. It's like a graft. Just a little piece can cause the cells to replicate and heal themselves."
Kairi readjusted her top and cleared her throat. "You can look now, Sora." As Sora finally turned to face her again, something dawned on her. "Wait. How'd you know it worked if your eyes were closed?"
Riku shrugged. "I was blindfolded for about a year, remember? I can still "see" without relying on sight."
"Okay, I'll give you that. But why did you two get to keep your clothes? And what happened to that cheat device?"
"I was stripped of my Drive Form. Does that count?" Without the Codebreaker, Sora's outfit had reverted back to its normal state. "As for the second question..." Sora patted down all of his pockets. "Nope, I think it's gone."
"Still, Naminé..." Roxas sounded like he was in a daze. "That was the most-"
"MIND CRUSH!" Naminé interrupted. Roxas was silent for a moment as the memory witch quickly modified her moment of nudity.
"-traumatic sight of my entire life!" Roxas finished, unaware of what just happened. "Why was Riku wearing a G-string?!" Afraid that Naminé might modify his memory too, Sora kept his mouth and inner dialogue shut. Riku gave Sora a knowing look, but was also relieved he didn't have to explain how he kept his clothes.
Kairi finally took note of their surroundings. They were back in the charred ruins of the wedding hall. She also realized that besides Sora and Riku, there were no other occupants in sight.
"What happened? Where's everyone gone?"
"If they're not here, they're probably back in the Garden of Assemblage," Naminé guessed.
Kairi immediately stood up. "Then what are we waiting for? We have to get back there!"
But Riku shook his head. "I don't think that's possible. It took pretty much an army just to get through that mineshaft full of Heartless and Nobodies."
"But Riku..." Sora placed a hand on her bare shoulder and smiled.
"It'll be alright. They're fighters. They'll be able to take care of themselves." Kairi took a deep breath and nodded in agreement. With one worry pushed away to the back of her mind, other questions began to take its place.
"So what exactly happened? Last thing I remember was reality turning into a surrealism piece and then Sora's mouth was suckling on my..." Kairi shuddered from the memory. Riku streaked his fingers through his long, silvery hair.
"I honestly have no idea. I woke up a few minutes before you two did."
Kairi noticed that the light streaming through the windows seemed faint. "Wait a minute. How long were we in there?"
"It's been a few hours, give or take," Roxas said. "There was the whole search, destroy and rescue missions we had to go through before making our way to you two."
Sora clasped his fingers behind his head and leaned back in thought. "All I know is that we're losing daylight." As soon as the word 'daylight' left his lips, any traces of sunlight were completely extinguished. Sora blinked. "Is it just me, or did the sun just get swallowed up?"
Suddenly, the entire building began to shake, causing the pillar supports and walls to lose their structural integrity.
"It's not safe here!" Roxas cried. The group quickly broke for the doorway, only for the rafters to conveniently crash right in front of them, blocking their exit.
Not to give up so easily, Riku pointed toward a broken window thirty feet above their heads. "Through there!"
Kairi was about to protest when she remembered that she now possessed most of Sora's skills. Whatever he could do, she'd be able to. Kairi planted her feet firmly on the ground, pirouetted up into the air, pulling off a perfect Aerial Dodge, and landed gracefully on the window's ledge. She looked back over her shoulder and was surprised that Sora and Riku were gaping at her with astonishment.
"What? You didn't think I could do it?" she giggled.
"Guys, you can stare at her butt later!" Naminé called. "Get up here already!"
As soon as they made it to a safe distance from the wedding hall, the party let out a collective sigh of relief.
"If the chapel collapses during a wedding, does that mean bad luck?" Kairi wondered out loud.
"Only for the people unlucky enough to still be inside the building," Naminé responded.
Both Sora and Kairi turned to Riku. "So what's the plan, Riku?"
The Dawn Wielder gave the engaged a funny look. "Why are you guys assuming that I always have a plan?"
"Because you're tall," Roxas quipped. "Do we really need a reason?"
Riku massaged his forehead with his thumb and forefinger as he contemplated a new strategy. Meanwhile, the earthquake tremors were growing stronger in frequency, causing newly created construction sites throughout the town to collapse. After a minute, he opened his eyes. "Okay, first things first. We've got to find out what happened to everyone. Sora, you head into town and check to see if anyone needs help. Even with a defense system to prevent attacks, the town still needs a physical body to tend to the wounded."
"So you're practically sending me on a side mission?" Riku shrugged.
"Considering that every single world we've been in was a side mission, this shouldn't be any different. I'll go see if there's any other entrance into the Garden of Assemblage that we might have missed."
"You mean besides the one outside the-" Sora's words were drowned out by another building collapsing, keeping Riku from noticing that he had spoken.
"Kairi, you'll have to..." Riku trailed off as he realized that her jaw was locked open with her eyes widened in horror. "Kairi? What's wrong?"
"Um...Sora? Riku?" Kairi pointed skyward with a shaky hand. "Remember when you said you two fought against Xemnas in giant armor?"
"Yeah?"
The blood had drained from her face giving her skin a grayscale look. "Was he THAT big?!" The boys slowly turned to look at what she was pointing at. To their horror, the entire sky was filled with the form of Armor Xemnas. Only the upper half was visible as the rest of his body disappeared behind the horizon. The group stood in astonishment as one of his giant clawed hands slammed on top of Villain's Vale.
Instead of being crushed, the fortress seemed to shimmer before being replaced with empty void leading to the Realm of In Between. Almost as if it were erased.
"It's just like when the Heartless destroyed our home!" Sora realized. "Instead of being consumed by darkness, it's being consumed by nothingness!"
"It's the end of the world," Naminé lamented. But Riku shook his head.
"No." He gave the survivors a gloomy look. "This is the end of reality."
The five of them watched helplessly as pieces of Radiant Garden were enveloped by nothingness. After a few moments, Kairi let out a deep exhale and began unzipping her dress.
"Uh, Kairi?" Riku asked slowly. "Why are you taking off your clothes?"
Kairi gave him a wry smile as her face color began to match Axel's hair. "I've been stripped so many times, I figure it's only a matter of time before it happens again." She noticed Sora beginning to mirror her embarrassment. "If I'm going to be naked, I might as well do it myself instead of waiting for some perverted attack to shred my clothes to pieces."
"Don't you think that's going a little too far, Kairi?" Sora turned away and locked his gaze onto the giant behemoth, willing himself not to let his eyes wander toward his disrobing fiancée.
Naminé sighed. "Sorry guys, but I think Kairi's finally starting to crack."