Chapter Three

"Found anything?" asked Dean.

"Nothing," answered Sam. "It's so frustrating."

Late that same night they were still seated at the table, going through piles of books. Dean was eating as he read, dropping crumbs all over the books and completely ignoring Sam's bitchfaces (Oh-God-Dean-I-Wish-Books-Were-Capable-Of-Slapping- You-For-What-You-Put-Them-Through). Sam was almost hidden behind a tottering tower of books, with only the top of his head and a little of his face visible, enough to provide bitchfaces to the general public every now and then. And Adam had given up on reading and was playing games on Sam's cell phone – Subway Surf, to be precise.

"Dammit," said all three brothers at the same time, in the exact same tone. Then they looked at each other askance, each wondering what had warranted the swear from the others.

"Nothing in this book," explained Sam.

"We're out of beer," declared Dean.

"I lost the game," Adam told his brothers.

"All right, this is useless," announced Dean. "I'm going to bed. Sammy, you're gonna keep on reading?"

Sam nodded, suppressing a yawn. "Yeah, there's bound to be something in these books. Adam?"

"I think I'll go to bed too," replied the boy. "Where do I sleep?"

Sam considered the matter for a moment, and then said, "You can sleep in my room."

"Where are you going to sleep, then?" questioned Dean.

Sam shrugged, yawning. "I'll figure something out."

Dean looked unconvinced but didn't pursue the matter, instead saying, "All right. 'Night, you two."

"'Night," replied Sam. Adam nodded at Dean and then walked around the table and sat down in the chair Dean had just vacated.

"Aren't you going to bed?" asked Sam, not looking up from the ancient tome he was perusing.

Adam shrugged. "Not now."

Sam looked at his little brother. "It's okay, you know. I don't mind you sleeping in my bed."

"It's not that," Adam told him. "Don't be such a sissy. I'm just not sleepy yet."

"All right then," muttered Sam, ignoring the jibe. "Have it your way." He turned a page.

"What is this, Burger King?" snarked Adam, but Sam was too preoccupied to answer. Bored, the boy played around on Sam's phone for a little bit longer before asking, "Why aren't you going to bed?"

"Because there's still so many books to go through," Sam answered. "One of them has to have something."

"You can always continue in the morning," suggested Adam, switching from Subway Surf to Temple Run.

Sam offered Adam a tired grin. "Just one more book."

Adam returned the grin, albeit somewhat uncertainly. He was still getting used to the idea of having brothers, especially brothers that were willing to go to so much trouble for him. "Bet you say that to Dean all the time," he said.

Sam laughed. "Well... yeah," he admitted.

The next half an hour passed in companionable silence, by which time Dean's snores were audible. Adam, in a fit of boredom and tired of Sam's phone, was reading one of the books from Dean's unread pile. Sam poured himself some coffee every now and then, the substance being the only thing that stopped him from falling asleep face-down on the table. There was nothing to be found in any of the books he'd read so far, and he'd read around twenty of the fattest ones.

"Hey, Sam," said Adam, his voice resounding in the silence. "Do you..." he paused, before steeling himself. "Do you remember Hell?"

The question was quietly and tentatively asked, and yet it took Sam completely by surprise. The cup of coffee fell from his hand and smashed on the floor, spilling the dark liquid everywhere.

"I'm sorry," said Adam at once, not looking at Sam. He scrambled to the floor to clean up the mess he'd caused, rambling, "I didn't mean – I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked – you don't have to answer–"

Silently Sam knelt and helped Adam clean up, not reacting as Adam's apologies sputtered off in a rather dismayed manner. When the china had been trashed and the coffee mopped up with wads of tissue, he said, his voice abnormally quiet, "It's all right, Adam. You just took me by surprise. That's all."

Adam looked slightly abashed, knowing it was an extremely personal question. "You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"It's all right," repeated Sam. "And yes. Yes I do. All too well."

Boldened somewhat by the fact that Sam was answering, Adam inquired, "How bad was it, for you?"

"Pretty bad," Sam told him. "I was literally going insane. There were times when it was all I could do to not put a bullet through my head." He didn't know why he was telling the boy all of this – maybe simply to get it off his chest, or maybe to prepare Adam a little for what was coming.

Adam considered Sam's reply for a moment, before asking quietly, "Why didn't you?"

Sam gave Adam a small smile. "Dean," he answered simply. "I couldn't do that to him."

Adam nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He wasn't sure, given the same circumstances, he'd be that selfless. His two half-brothers... he couldn't understand them. The way they functioned, living off each other, it was beyond him. Filing it away to think about later, Adam turned a page and resumed reading.

Sam watched his little brother discreetly for a minute before going back to his book, too. His reading was, however, interrupted again a few minutes later, this time by the sound of Adam's harsh breathing echoing in the room. It wasn't normal, the way his breath rattled through his teeth and whistled through his nostrils. Sam looked up, book forgotten, to see Adam staring at something behind Sam, his eyes wide and face white.

"What is it?" asked Sam, though he knew perfectly well, having been through it himself. Adam was hallucinating.

Adam didn't answer. His breathing was fast and shallow, and his grip on the book was tight, his hands shaking. "No," he whispered, closing his eyes. "Go away. You're not real."

Sam shoved his book away and turned towards Adam, moving away the books separating them. "It's not real, Adam," he said softly. "He's not here. He can't hurt you. I won't let him." He reached out to touch Adam's shoulder.

The minute Sam's fingers came into contact with Adam's skin the boy's eyes flew open and he twitched violently. "No!" he cried, standing and staggering away from his brother. "You're not real! Go away!"

"Adam, it's me," Sam said calmly, taking baby steps towards his brother. Adam was backing away slowly, looking fearfully at him, and Sam knew it was Lucifer that Adam was seeing instead of his brother. "I'm real, Adam. I'm your brother," he stated. "I'm here to help."

Adam covered his ears. "No, stop talking!" he said through gritted teeth. "Stop lying to me!"

"It's me, Sam." This was much harder than he'd anticipated, and he racked his brains trying to think what Dean would have done. His own hallucinations had been well over a year ago and he didn't remember them too well – they were all fused together into a long blurry picture of pain, in his memory. At the same time he wondered if this was how helpless Dean had felt then.

Adam was now cornered and wild, looking around and murmuring to himself, hands covering his ears. "Not real, not real, not real..." he chanted over and over again, as if hoping it would convince Lucifer of his own non-existence.

Slowly Sam approached the boy and reached out again. "Adam," he said softly, "it's all right. You're okay. It's not real."

Adam lashed out the second Sam's fingers touched him again. "No, get away from me!" he yelled. He began punching and kicking wildly, striking whatever part of Sam he could reach.

Taken aback, Sam dodged the hits as best as he could, while at the same time trying to get closer to Adam. The boy was completely out of it, sobbing and screaming and hitting whatever he could reach. In his fear he was dangerous to himself, but despite that Sam was reluctant to use force to restrain him, fearful of hurting him. "Dean!" he yelled frantically, not knowing what else to do.

"I'm here," spoke Dean from behind Sam. He'd come running as soon as Adam's screams had woken him up, and Sam had been too distracted to hear him. "Move, let me get closer." Dean's tone was firm and authoritative, and Sam obeyed, feeling helpless beyond belief.

"Adam, listen to me," said Dean loudly, kneeling down next to his brothers. "There is nothing here. No one is going to hurt you. You. Are. Safe."

Adam stopped striking out and curled in on himself, keeping his ears covered. His screams had faded to whimpers, and his face was buried in his knees. "Please don't hurt me!" he cried. "I'm sorry, whatever I did, I'm sorry!"

"Oh my God," whispered Sam. "What did they do to him?"

Dean looked at Sam for a second, his expression pained. "The same they did to you, Sammy, all those hits you took for him."

Sam didn't answer. He was biting his bottom lip, looking at Adam with tears in his eyes. The boy was shaking, his knuckles white over his ears. "Think happy thoughts," ordered Dean, snapping back into Boss Mode. "Think of your mom, Adam."

"She's dead!" sobbed Adam into his thighs. "She's gone, and she's not coming back!"

"Adam," began Dean, but was interrupted by a scream.

"NO, PLEASE! DON'T HURT ME! I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY!"

Left with no other choice, Dean pulled out his pocket knife and looked determinedly at Sam. Understanding, Sam moved behind Adam and locked his arms around his younger brother, restraining him. Against Adam's renewed struggles he held on, and only let go when Dean had managed to cut a small gash into the boy's forearm, right over the previous one.

The pain snapped Adam out of it, as Dean had hoped. The boy went limp, breathing heavily into his knees for what felt like forever. Dean watched in anticipation as Sam let go and wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Noticing, Dean set his free hand on the back of Sam's neck and squeezed lightly – it's all right now, Sammy.

"Adam?" Sam said tentatively after he had composed himself. "Adam, are you all right?"

Adam looked up slowly, his eyes rimmed with red. "He – he's gone," he said hoarsely. "You two are..." he trailed off, swallowing.

"Real," confirmed Dean. "We're real, Adam, not that prissy bastard. We've got you. You're safe."

"Safe?" Adam repeated, saying the word like it was Greek.

"Yes," said Sam. "You're not in the Cage anymore, Adam. He can't hurt you now."

Adam looked back and forth between his brothers before letting out a weak sob of relief. "Thank God," he whispered.

Wordlessly Sam moved forward and wrapped his arms around Adam again, more gently this time. "It's okay," he said, his tone soft. "We've got you."

Unconsciously Adam leaned into the warmth that was Sam, sniffling quietly. Dean watched Sam rub Adam's back for a minute, observing how Adam was calming down slowly but steadily and clearly drawing comfort from Sam. It was a bittersweet moment for the oldest Winchester – his baby brother was quite good at offering comfort, something he'd obviously learned from Dean. Everything he was doing for Adam Dean had once done for him, and while part of him felt proud at the way Sam was handling it, part of him also wished that that sort of intimacy had remained between him and Sam only, and didn't have to be shared.

Adam had calmed down considerably and was now growing heavy in Sam's arms. "Come on," said Sam gently, shaking him lightly. "Let's get you to bed." He helped Adam stand, and then asked, "You okay now?"

Adam nodded, looking embarrassed. "Yeah," he muttered. "Peachy. I'm sorry, I didn't meant to–"

"Don't be stupid," interrupted Dean. "It's not your fault, Small Fry."

"Don't worry about it," added Sam. "We've got you."

"We're going to fix this," Dean told Adam. "Just you see."

Adam nodded. "Thank you," he said so quietly it was almost inaudible.

Five minutes later, settled in Sam's bed, Adam asked, "Where are you going to sleep, Sam?"

"He can share with me," declared Dean, surprising both his brothers. "What?" he said in response to his brothers' expressions. "There's nowhere else."

Sam shook his head, grinning, while Adam let out a weak laugh.

"You two are crazy," he told them.

"We know," Sam informed him.

Adam looked like he was thinking something through, and then he looked up at his brothers. "You two going off to bed now?"

"Yeah," answered Dean. "Good night."

"Good night," Adam said, but looked strangely sad.

Understanding, Sam asked, "You want us to stay?"

"Just until I fall asleep?" muttered Adam, turning red and looking away. "Please?"

"Of course," said Sam warmly, subtly stepping on Dean's foot to prevent the 'witty' comment he knew was coming. "Move over."

Adam shifted to the side and Sam sat down on the bed, ignoring Dean's glare and the barely audible "Bitch". But Dean sat down next to Sam too.

They waited until Adam had fallen asleep, and then quietly left the room, leaving the door ajar just in case. Dean was the last to leave, and he turned at the door to take one last look at Adam. The boy was fast asleep, exhausted by his breakdown, but he'd be awake soon. Dean knew the hallucinations were going to return, and quickly.

He knew it was stupid, but he felt a little jealous. Watching Sam handle Adam the way Dean had done for Sam had struck some long-hidden chord inside the oldest Winchester. He knew Adam needed them and and had no one else in the world, but a small, selfish part of him wished it was still just him and Sam. He'd never noticed it before, but it was there now, all the same – he hated having to share Sam.

He entered the library to find Sam staring at the open book that Adam had been reading. There was an illustration of Hell and another of Lucifer and Michael fighting to the death, accompanied by tiny text. Dean didn't have to read it to know it was describing the prophesied Apocalypse.

"This is what set him off," murmured Sam, jarring Dean from his thoughts. "He came across this."

"Why was he even reading that book in the first place?" questioned Dean.

"I don't know," Sam replied unhappily. "He said he wasn't sleepy and then he began reading, and it's my fault, I didn't check what he was reading..."

"Don't blame yourself," said Dean. "It wasn't your fault, it was going to happen anyway."

Sam nodded, still looking sad. "Yeah, I guess."

"Well, good," said Dean. "If you blame yourself for this I'm making you sleep on the floor."

Sam pulled a bitchface as he remembered he would have to share with Dean – again. He'd barely gotten any sleep last time, and this time was bound to be worse.

"Don't look so bitchy," Dean said, raising an eyebrow. "You're the one who hogs all the blankets."

"I do not," protested Sam. "You're a jerk."

"Yeah, so I've heard. Come on now, I'm sleepy."

Squashed onto Dean's bed ten minutes later, ignoring Dean's whining about how his memory foam was ruined, Sam asked quietly, "Was I this bad, Dean?"

"It won't remember me anymore – what?"

Sam repeated his question, watching Dean's face closely. Dean remained quiet for a few moments before answering, "Worse."

"How are we going to fix this, Dean?" asked Sam.

"I don't know," replied Dean. "We'll figure out something. And wear socks or something, your toes are freezing."

"My toes are fine, jerk," Sam retorted, pulling yet another bitchface (Sometimes-I-Hate-You-So-Much-It-Actually-Hurts). Then he turned serious again. "In my case Cas helped, Dean, but we can't ask him to do that again. What do we do?"

Dean remained thoughtfully quiet for a while, before answering, "I guess we'll just have to wing it, Sammy. Somehow convince him it's not real."

Sam wasn't convinced, and he knew Dean wasn't either, but he refrained from saying so. His brain was slowly shutting down from exhaustion and the stress of the last hour. "Guess so. 'Night, Dean," he murmured sleepily, turning on his side.

To his surprise Dean wrapped an arm around him from behind. "Uh, Dean?" he said inquiringly. "You okay?"

"Shut up and go to sleep, bitch," was Dean's answer. "I'm tired." To himself he chanted silently, not jealous just concerned not jealous just concerned nope not jealous at all...

"Okay," said Sam, still perplexed but deciding not to pursue the issue. Dean wasn't usually this clingy, and Sam suspected it had something to do with Adam's breakdown, but his brain was just too tired to figure it out and besides, it felt nice. And warm. And safe. Like home. So he just closed his eyes and drifted off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

*deep breath* I AM BACK :D *walks in amid fanfare and 21-gun salute, the works*

SOOOOO DIDJA MISS ME? :D even if you didn't you probably missed this story lol, so here's your update, I wrote it in my free moments there :3 I actually managed to get two chapters done, and I'd figured I'd put them up together, but the next one's really really long and it features the most epic hurt!Sam I've ever written and I figured that'd be too much for just one chapter, what with Adam's breakdown and all, and plus I didn't want to detract from either of the two events and so I figured I'd put them up separately and are you people even reading this because it's okay if you're not I just feel the need to ramble xD

Every time you review Dean gives Sam one more hug for no reason and Sam gets a little bit more confused and he makes that adorable confused expression. So REVIEW, PEASANTS :D

-Peace x

PS: next chapter should be up tomorrow or the day after, depending on reviews (hinthint) I'm more excited for that one than this one lol, so hurry up and review :3

-Peace x