"This should work, right?" After Kairi snapped out of her stupor (and put her clothes back on to the moaning disappointment of fanservice lovers), the group decided there was only one course of action...
...shoot a giant laser at Xemnas.
"If there's anything that can defeat a giant creature like that, it'd be the combined power of our hearts," Riku reasoned. "It worked for us before, so it should work here." The others couldn't think of any reason not to. The group joined their Keyblades together and took aim at the giant behemoth. Light congregated around the Keyblades tips as they opened their hearts and let their bonds of friendship flow freely. With their hearts joined as one, a thick beam of white light burst from their Keyblades and blasted Xemnas in the shoulder.
Unfortunately, despite the Keyblades' combined power, the attack was as effective as shooting a tank with a staple gun.
Sora couldn't believe his eyes. "That attack should've done something!"
"It did do something." Riku pressed his lips together in contained frustration. "It told him exactly where we were."
"Wait a minute!" Kairi pointed at a tiny pinpoint hole where their beam had hit. Xemnas' armor began to evaporate into fumes of darkness before their very eyes. They could make out underneath the armored shell was a jumble of lengthy steel and yellow glass. "They look like...buildings?"
"What the..." The sight of the shadowy buildings began to stir something up in Roxas' memory. "Why do those look so familiar?"
"Remember when we were up against his Dragon?" Riku asked. "We were flying over those exact same buildings."
Roxas gasped. "The Dark City? From the World That Never Was?"
"So, Xemnas has become a city? That's..." Sora ruffled his bushy hair.
"Pretty lame?" Kairi guessed.
"Great. Now we have to fight against some unused concept art," Naminé muttered. "Any other ideas, Riku?"
"Please. He's just like Batman," Kairi joked. "Only he doesn't spout 'My parents are deaaaaaad!' every few seconds."
Sora grinned. "What are these PAIR-ANTS you speak of? Are they like cockroaches?"
"Speaking of parents, I'm surprised your mom wasn't one of the guests, Sora."
A faint blush began to tint the Keyblade Master's face. "Er...yeah, about that..."
"Don't tell me you forgot to tell her?!" Naminé exclaimed.
"Are you serious? All these months and you didn't say anything?" Kairi threw her hands up in mock hopelessness. "That's it. Next time, I'll handle the wedding invitations."
"Next time?" Sora repeated. "You mean you're going to leave me and get married again?"
"You know, Kairi, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea," Naminé teased. "You could totally find someone more competent after this is all over."
"Hold up." Riku gave the girls an incredulous look. "Are you telling me that divorcing was an option out of that stipulation and you've now just realized this?" Then he shook his head, causing his silvery hair to ripple across his shoulders. "Whether Xemnas was bluffing or not can wait until later. Right now, we need to take the fight to him and I think I've got another idea." He broke into a run with Sora and Kairi tailing him. The trio streaked through the vacant cobblestone streets, ignoring the behemoth that was mindlessly absorbed pieces of the world into its collective girth.
Kairi suddenly skidded to a halt. "Wait!"
"What? Is it something that can help us defeat Xemnas?" Sora asked.
"Um, no..." Kairi pointed toward a rare concept in their universe: an outdoor public restroom. "I've been holding ever since I was abducted and there weren't any bathrooms in that cove!"
Riku rolled his eyes. "Fine. But, hurry up!" Kairi immediately disappeared behind the labyrinth entrance. "I swear, girls and their weak bladders. Am I right, Sora?" When he was met with silence, the Dawn wielder realized that Sora had disappeared. "Sora?" A loud flush echoed throughout the din of destruction followed by Sora calmly walking out of the men's side.
"Sorry, Riku. I've been holding since before the wedding vows. What were you saying?"
The tall bishonen sighed. "There are not enough facepalms to display the frustration I've experienced today," Riku thought. Out loud, he said, "Never mind, Sora. It's not important."
A few minutes later ("There was no toilet paper!" Kairi complained), the group made it to the Gummi Garage where the wedding guests' transportation vehicles were parked. Riku calmly walked over toward a familiar-looking apparatus with an aqua gift bow wrapped around its handle and a "Just Married" sign on its rear.
Kairi gasped. "Isn't that a Sidecar Glider?"
"It was actually going to be my wedding present for the two of you, but I guess now would be a good time as any to take it for a spin."
"Wow, Riku! This couldn't have come cheap!" Naminé exclaimed, to which Riku shrugged.
"Actually, it wasn't that hard to collect the munny. I just went to Yen Sid's tower and abused the Gamblers in the Moon Chamber." Riku gave them a wry smile. "Who knew that they could be so generous?"
Sora's face looked as excited as if he had just been given a free 'Triple-Chocolate Sea-Salt Supreme Sundae.' "In that case, I'm driving!"
"Wait a minute!" Kairi snapped. "Why do you get to drive?"
Sora gave her a quick smirk. "I've got a license!"
"Yeah, to drive a Gummi ship!"
"Besides, don't you usually crash?" Naminé added.
"That hasn't happened for a while now!" Kairi raised an eyebrow.
"Sora, you crashed the Gummi ship on the way here. Last I heard, Chip and Dale's bill was almost double the catering expenses."
"Are you two finished or are we just going to wait for the end of the world?" Sora and Kairi turned toward Riku already in the driver's seat. The couple nodded at each other in silent truce before realizing that there was only one platform connected to the glider. "This wasn't exactly built for three people. You're going to have to squeeze together."
"Isn't that a bit dangerous?" Naminé asked. "Not that I'm complaining, mind you."
"It's either that or one of you has to stay here." This caused some hard glares that made even Riku flinch. "Okay, okay. Both of you hang on tight and keep your balance." The vehicle lurched to a rocky start, causing Kairi to stumble. Fortunately, Sora's hands immediately shot out to steady her.
"Careful, Kairi. I don't want to lose you again." Kairi looked up into Sora's mesmerizing eyes, suddenly becoming bashfully aware that it had been awhile since he held her this close.
"Uh, Kairi?" Roxas sounded slightly amused. "Your face is red." Indeed, her cheeks were almost the same shade as her hair.
"It's adrenaline, I swear!" Sora only responded with a warm smile.
Within a few minutes, the glider had achieved enough altitude to make Radiant Garden look like a roadmap. Xemnas' King Form didn't seem to have noticed them yet as it continued its rampage by absorbing the bits and pieces of the world.
"Okay, the plan is simple," Riku called over his shoulder. "Although it looks it, this is not Xemnas' true body. His real body should be somewhere located near the "crown" of this monstrosity. All we have to do is get close enough to jump on and sacrifice the glider as a distraction."
"I thought you said that this was our wedding present!" Kairi protested.
"I'll make it up to you guys later," Riku replied with a dismissive air. "Right now, the only advantage we have right now is surprise. If we get caught, he'll most likely send everything he has at us."
"Uh, guys?" Sora tried to get their attention, but they didn't hear him.
"Exactly how many forms does this guy have?" Naminé asked. "I mean, seriously! We defeated his Heartless, his Nobody, and you've told us that you and Sora had to fight his armored form on a Dragon Ship. What's next, some bald geezer that sounds like Spock? Some younger version that sounds like you?"
"We really should-" Roxas began.
"We can't exactly rule out those possibilities." Riku tightened his grip on the handlebars. "For all we know, there's a female Xehanort form we've yet to encounter."
"The yaoi fangirls would probably kill us if that happened," Kairi muttered.
"You guys!" Kairi and Riku whipped around at Sora.
"WHAT?!" Instead of responding, Sora pointed at their target. The others followed his gaze and were horrified to see Xemnas' giant visage staring directly at the tiny vehicle looking to infiltrate its defenses.
"Geez, first Kairi, now you," Riku groaned. "How is it that you two are noticing these enormous giants before I do?"
"CUR-SED FOOLS!" The enormous, commanding voice reverberated throughout the air, its sound waves making the glider rock a bit.
"Didn't you equip this thing with weapons?" Kairi yelled.
Riku's internal facepalm counter increased by one. "I...forgot."
"Well, that's it." Roxas' voice could barely contain the sarcasm. "If Riku, of all people, messed up, we're totally screwed."
Sora and Kairi flinched as the millions of "windows" scattered across Xemnas' body began to pulsate with malicious energy. It didn't take Merlin to figure out what was coming next.
"Riku, floor it!" But the silver-haired teenager was already hitting the afterburners. As expected, lasers fired randomly at the group from all sides. The glider bobbed and weaved through the onslaught as Sora and Kairi attempted to keep their footing on the small platform. As good as Riku was, a stray beam finally managed to graze them, causing the vehicle to jolt. Although Sora had managed to keep his feet firmly planted, Kairi wasn't as lucky. The redhead's heart skipped a beat when she realized that her body was about to be caught in freefall.
"Kairi!" Sora instinctively made a grab for his fiancée, successfully managing to snag her leg. Unfortunately, this gave Sora an almost uninhibited upskirt shot.
"EEK!" Kairi clenched her thighs together and tried to hold her dress shut from her upside-down position. "Haven't you seen my panties enough?!" she shrieked. "No! Don't answer that!" Kairi added as Sora began to open his mouth.
"Look out!" Roxas cried. Riku turned sharply, but the flurry of lasers were rapidly increasing in frequency. The sudden lurch caused Kairi to lose her grip on her Keyblade, sending it flying.
"No! The Keyblade!" Kairi could only watch helplessly as her flowery weapon shrank out of sight.
Another stray beam finally connected dead-center with their vehicle, engulfing the three in a burst of fire and melted metal. Sora managed to remain afloat using his Superglide, but Kairi and Riku were not as fortunate.
"Naminé!" Kairi cried. "I can Glide too, right?"
"If by Glide, you mean plummet to the ground in a painful and agonizing death, then yes!" Naminé desperately searched for any more of Sora's memories that might've transferred over to Kairi.
There were none.
"Wait! What am I worried for?" A goofy grin played across Kairi's lips. "I've survived falling down a skyscraper with Xemnas!"
"I think there's a huge difference between a skyscraper and the stratosphere, Kairi!"
"Geez, where's anime physics when you need it?!" Kairi flipped herself around and was shocked to see Riku's limbs flailing lifelessly as she realized that he was unconscious. With debris flying past their bodies as they hurtled toward earth, the Princess of Heart suddenly became aware of Sora dive-bombing down to their altitude.
Her hope of another rescue faded as she noticed conflict written all over his face. It was clear that Sora was torn about who to save. He knew that he'd be able to carry one, but not both.
Seeing his hesitation, Kairi decided to give him some encouraging words to help make up his mind.
"Sora, you bum!" the redhead shouted. "Don't worry about me! Save Riku!" Sora looked at her with a painstricken glance.
"Sora, we can't..." Roxas gazed longingly at Naminé through Sora's eyes.
Both Kairi and Naminé gave their fiancées an understanding smile. They mouthed the words, "I'll come back to you. I promise." With tears beginning to streak from his eyes, Sora gave one last gaze at Kairi before bolting for Riku.
As her fiancée passed her by, Kairi relaxed the muscles in her body and went limp.
"So is that it? Giving up already?"
"I can't think of anything. Can you?" In the back of her mind, Naminé was shaking her head.
"I'm sorry, Kairi. I wish there was something we could do." The Princess of Heart's hair and dress whipped around wildly as her body tore through the sky.
"All of our friends disappeared with the Organization. We've lost the Keyblade."
"And we sacrificed Sora and Roxas to save Riku," Naminé finished. "It's times like these I wish I had powers beyond just manipulating memories."
"Despite everything we've been through these past few hours..." Kairi let out a quiet snort of amusement. "...I've never felt so naked and helpless in my entire life."
"You still have me, Kairi." Naminé would've hugged her if she had her own body. "You'll never be alone."
"Thank you, Naminé." Kairi sighed. "Sora...I'm sorry." And with that silent apology, she closed her eyes in solemn acceptance...
...So it took the girl by surprise to feel warm, familiar arms embrace her body, stopping her freefall. Her eyes snapped open and found herself gazing into the handsome face of the boy she loved.
"It's okay, Kairi," Sora said gently. "I've got you."
"But what about-"
"Riku's fine. They managed to catch him." Kairi turned her head, only for her jaw to drop. The girls couldn't believe their eyes.
"Is that a giant mecha?" Indeed, Riku was in the palm of a giant humanoid robot about the quarter size of Xemnas' King Form. The head was a pink and white helmet that had spikes adorning the top, sides, and back. The body seemed to be sporting a black, white, and pink jacket with black and pink gloves while the bottom half of the armor consisted of mainly black and gold, with gold and white shoes.
"I thought those only existed in manga and anime!" Kairi and Naminé gave Roxas (through Sora) a pitying look.
"As long as you don't make any Megazord, Voltron or Gundam jokes," Naminé teased. "I know I'm probably forgetting a few, so sue me."
"Wow, the shape almost resembles Sora a couple years ago," Kairi observed.
"Looks more like Xion's armor," Naminé muttered. "Don't ask," she quickly added before the other three could ask her to clarify.
With the glider no longer a threat, Xemnas had shifted his attention back to absorbing the world. He didn't appear to notice the mecha's presence yet. The betrothed watched as Riku was gently deposited onto the shoulder where a familiar-looking deer was waiting.
Suddenly, a white gloved hand waved from behind one of the helmet's side spikes. With Kairi in tow, Sora glided past some lasers that finally activated their payload last-minute and landed on the giant mecha's shoulder. Entering through the opening embedded where the ear would be, Sora and Kairi found themselves on the bridge of a Gummi ship more sophistically advanced than either of them had ever seen.
They were surprised to find that the ones controlling their robotic savior were none other than the Princesses of Heart along with Queen Minnie, Lady Daisy, Chip, Dale, Pluto and Sora's remaining summons. Belle and Snow White helped the unconscious Riku off of Bambi and began to administer first aid. The other Princesses of Heart were each occupying separate control stations while the Queen and Lady were in the captain and first officer's seats. Noticing Sora and Kairi, Queen Minnie leapt from her chair and greeted them.
"Where's King Mickey?" she asked.
"And Donald and Goofy?" Lady Daisy added. The bushy-haired brunette and redhead glanced at each other, unsure of how to respond.
Finally, it was Kairi who said, "We don't know."
"What about the other wedding guests?" Sora inquired. "Are they here too?" An awkward silence hung heavy in the room, answering his question. The Keyblade Master ran a hand along one of the soft, elastic walls. "What is this? It's like we're inside a giant Gummi ship with arms and legs."
"It was King Mickey's idea," Queen Minnie explained. "Honestly, I don't know what he was thinking, but at least it was better than the time he met with that rabbit at Toontown."
"Roger, Oswald or Bugs?" Lady Daisy asked rhetorically.
"Who's piloting this thing anyway?" Kairi's question was responded with a familiar cackling from a certain blue fuzzball up front at flight control. "Figures."
"Your Majesty!" Chicken Little was typing furiously, staring intently at the screen from his perch at his Tactical station. "Xemnas finally noticed us and is charging up his lasers again!
Queen Minnie pointed out toward the front with a dramatic flourish. "Raise the X-Ion shields!" The mecha raised its arms, summoning two pink lances fashioned into Nobody symbols. It guarded by crossed its weapons together as thousands of building lasers began to pummel their ship.
"Structural integrity is down to 75%!" Alice shouted from the Security station. "The self-repair subroutines are underway!"
Jasmine was next to her keeping tabs on weapons. "The Ragnarok Torpedoes are armed and ready to fire!"
"I've located the weak point, Capt...I mean, your Majesty!" Aurora reported. "It's located near the crown!"
"Evasive maneuvers!" Queen Minnie ordered. "Get in close so we can cut open a path!"
"When did this turn into Star Trek?" Roxas pondered.
"What is it with you and Star Trek, Roxas?" Naminé couldn't hide her amusement. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were a closet Trekkie."
"Or an otaku," Sora added.
"Says the Whovian believing in Haruhiism," Roxas countered.
"Shush! I thought we talked about this!"
"Um, Sora?" Snow White had looked up from her first aid and was giving him a confused look. "Why are you talking to yourself?"
As Sora stammered out an explanation, Kairi gazed wistfully at the unconscious Riku. Naminé could sense the girl's guilt rising. "Kairi, what's wrong?"
"This is all happening because of me."
"What do you mean?"
"If it weren't for me, our friends wouldn't have disappeared in that explosion, the world wouldn't be ending, I wouldn't have lost my Keyblade, and Sora wouldn't have seen me completely naked before we got married!"
"Kairi, you know none of that is true," Naminé argued. "Except for that naked thing. There's no way in the Underworld that would've happened in canon."
"I'm not going to let everyone else keep taking risks for my sake! Xemnas wanted me to begin with..." Kairi's eyes locked onto Riku's Way to the Dawn. "We beat him by ourselves before. We can do it again!"
"So your mind's made up?"
"Don't try and stop me, Naminé," Kairi warned. Naminé was silent for a few seconds.
"I...may not agree with your reasoning on this," she responded slowly, "but sitting here isn't going to accomplish anything. Alright, I've got your back, girlfriend."
"Thank you, Naminé." The girls were surprised that Sora and Roxas didn't hear their conversation, but the boys were completely oblivious as their attention was focused on the mecha swerving up and around toward their target. As they approached Xemnas' head, the giant mecha raised its lances and fired a burst of homing lasers from its shoulders, successfully penetrating the shielding around the crown.
"Direct hit!" Chicken Little reported. "We managed to create an opening, but it's already starting to close up!"
"I'll take him on!" Before anyone could stop her, Kairi snatched up Riku's Way to the Dawn and bolted out of the ship. A few seconds later, a moan escaped Riku's lips as he regained consciousness.
Sora's eyes shone with concern. "Riku! Are you okay?"
"My body feels like I got slammed into the ceiling by Lexaeus again," Riku groaned. "Where are we? Where's Kairi?" It didn't take long for Riku to get up to speed. "What is she thinking?! She's playing right into Xemnas' hands again!" He grimaced in pain as he tried to get up and failed. The Dawn Wielder grabbed Sora's collar and yanked him closer to his face.
"Sure, Riku," Roxas sighed. "Give the yaoi fangirls more fanfic material."
"Sora, go after her. I'm not really in any condition to help you right now, but I trust that you can keep her safe." The bushy-haired youth gave his friend a searching look.
"But what about you and saying that she'll be able to take care of herself?"
"It'll give me peace of mind." Riku released his grip as he plopped back down on the floor. "Besides..." He closed his eyes with a tired smile. "You owe me for that year-long nap when I told you to take care of her the first time."