Guest - thanks, and we'll have to see about them getting rid of Tom's food fear ;)
448 Dannys POV
Too soon, plates landed on the table in front of me and Tom, who still looked so scared in front of me. "Tom, please, just try, its going to be just fine." I whispered, holding Toms hands, feeling them shake. Tom whined and shook his head, pushing my hands away. "Tom, please, you need to try. What are you so scared of? You're beautiful no matter what you do if you're thinking that you won't be. You are honestly beautiful, there's no need to worry about it." I grabbed his hands back, stroking his cheek, trying to get Tom to believe me. "n-no. Don't want to!" Tom shook his head, whimpering, looking close to tears.
"why not Tommy? I don't understand why you can't." I sighed, I just wanted to know why Tom couldn't even face his meal, and never could. "I can't!" Toms head shook again, he looked so distressed again, curling up into a little ball again. "you don't want anyone looking at you, do you?" Carrie asked, rubbing Toms back gently. I hadn't even thought of that, how did I forget about Toms fear of eating in front of people? "is that it Tom? Cause, we can go somewhere else if you need it, thats perfectly fine too." I was willing to do anything so Tom was comfortable eating, even if his request was ridiculously weird.
Tom nodded painfully slowly at my question, like he really didn't want to say yes, but he had to. "okay, come on lets go somewhere else then, yeah? We'll go somewhere quieter." I stood up, bringing Tom to standing again, pulling him along to the front room. "is it okay in here?" I asked, squeezing Toms fingers. Tom looked around nervously, before nodding a little, it was barely a head jerk, but it was a nod, which was good enough for me. "good, now go and sit down where you want, I'll go get dinner, alright?" I kissed his nose to calm him, going back to the kitchen to get our dinner.
"how is he?" Dougie asked first, picking at his pizza slice. "alright, bit nervous as expected. He's getting comfy in the front room. Now, if I get somewhere is a different story." I answered, grabbing our plates, going back into the front room. Tom was doing his usual trick of hiding in a corner, he looked terrified, his eyes widening when he saw the plate of food I brought in. "its okay, Tommy, this isn't going to hurt you." I reassured him, sitting down in front of him. Tom whimpered loudly, shaking his head in pure denial. "Tom, please, just give it a go. I got you your favourite, turkey drummers and alphabites! I'll reward you if you eat this, I'm not sure what with yet, but I'll reward you." I smiled, trying to come up with something that would be an encouragement.
"no!" Tom whimpered, hiding his face with his hands. "yes, please, Tom, its really important you do this. You need to eat, or you'll end up in hospital again, and I'm not letting you go back. You need to eat so you can stay here." I pleaded, Tom needed to stay here. "I-I don't want to!" Tom cried, tears falling down his cheeks. "why not? Whats so wrong with it?" I grabbed his hand, keeping hold of a bit of turkey drummer, keeping it in Toms vision, hoping it would make him get used to it.
"I-I can't, I can't! Its wrong!" Tom pushed his hands into his eyes, his whole body was shaking. "why is it wrong Tommy? I don't understand, help me understand, please. Explain to me why its so wrong to eat." I stroked his hair again, trying to comfort him in any way I could. "I-I just can't! You'll be here, and... I just can't!" Tom shook, yanking on his hair. "what do you mean I'll be here? Do you want me to turn around? Cause I can do that." I suggested, going to turn around. "yes...no...yes... I don't know!" Tom whimpered, he really didn't want to do this, I felt so sorry for him, and completely helpless. I wished Tom could just figure out what he wanted to do to make him feel better, that way we could have figured this out, and made this easier for him.
449 Toms POV
I didn't know what to do, I didn't know if I wanted Danny to go out of the room or not. I didn't want to be alone, but I didn't want for him to see me eat and freak out because I couldn't do it. You're going to fail, you'll be left alone either way. No! I didn't want to be alone! "Tom, please, whats going to make you feel better about this? Cause I can turn around and face the other way if you don't want me to see you." Danny ran a hand over my cheek gently. "I-I can't, I-I can't!" I cried, pushing his hand away.
"can't what? Hold it, look at it, eat while someone looks?" Danny guessed, ignoring my pushing by pulling me into his arms, letting me whimper into his chest. "any of it!" I cried, I couldn't do this! I didn't want to eat, I didn't want to be seen eating, I didn't want food at all! "okay, give me a second, I have an idea." Danny wriggled round to move behind me, leaning me against his chest, keeping his arms around me. "now, either close your eyes, or focus on Zac and Cody, alright?" Danny moved my head gently, making me look at the TV, showing The Suite Life Of Zac And Cody.
We were quiet for a few minutes, as I calmed down a little. "there we go, now keep focusing on the TV. And open your mouth." Danny instructed, one arm across my shoulders, almost holding me still. His other hand was holding a bit of food, coming closer and closer to my mouth. You'll get fat you pig! Then you'll be ridiculed for years! I turned my head away, shoving his hand away. "come on, Tommy, be a good boy for me. Just eat this little bit, thats all I'm asking." Danny encouraged, moving my head back. "no, please, no!" I writhed, keeping my mouth covered by my hands. "its fine Tommy, it really is, you're beautiful, honestly so beautiful. You shouldn't be worried about that. And I'm not looking either, no-one is watching you eat. Just focus on the TV, like I said, focus on the TV." Danny encouraged, running his hand over my side gently.
They'll never leave you alone. They will never leave you alone. "Tom, please, just eat this, I don't want to fight with you." Danny sighed, tired of this fight already, eat it and get it over with. Time to put up the mental walls again. Slowly, ever so slowly, I gave in and followed orders and opened my mouth, letting Danny put in some now cold food. I chewed and swallowed reluctantly, practically cringing and almost feeling like I was going to throw up.
"there we go, not too bad, was it?" Danny smiled, sighing loudly. I didn't answer, just whimpered into his side. "I'm proud of you. It took a while, but we got there, and thats what matters." Danny smiled, kissing my hair gently. I cringed again, feeling awful. "it'll get easier, I promise. It'll get easier over time." Danny whispered, he was wrong. Over the next week, we tried every meal time, getting me eating a full meal by the end of it, and it never got any easier. I still couldn't eat it myself, always had to annoy Danny to do it for me, I couldn't even look at the plate. But he always looked so pleased, like he really was proud of me. I almost couldn't stand it, but I guessed I was going to have to get used to it, even though all I wanted to do was draw and cuddle, that was all, just drawing and cuddling. It made me feel good to draw and cuddle, I felt safe. Danny made me feel good, he made me laugh sometimes too. I hadn't seen him smile so much in ages, when I laughed, or even smiled, he grinned with me, looking so, so happy.