Everything Is Different Now
Chapter 1
Seven years later
January 14, 2013
Regional Mental Health Facility, Portland, Oregon
"What the fuck do you people want from me? What do I have to do to get you to leave me alone? Get away from me with that
damned needle! I won't be controlled with drugs you hear me? I won't! Hey, get off me! Ow! Dammit that hurt! You didn't
have to stab me so hard! No! Goddammit not again! You don't have to strap me down! I won't be tied down like an animal!
I won't!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EIDN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"He's right in here ma'am. Please be careful. He's a bit unpredictable, though he has been restrained for your safety as well as his own."
"Thank you very much. I'm sure we'll be just fine. Please see that we are not disturbed for the rest of the afternoon."
"Yes ma'am."
"Hello."
I'm not talkin' to this one either.
"I said hello."
Yeah I heard ya the first time sisterhood. You've got a sweet voice and you smell damn good, but I'm still not talkin' to ya.
"I know you can hear me. There's a clear record that your eyesight and hearing are perfectly normal, exceptional actually."
Yep, both exceptional. I can hear your heart goin' ninety to nothin'. You're nervous sweetheart. You need to calm down before you stroke out.
"My name is Dr. Laura Frederick. Can you tell me your name?"
Nope, not talkin. Not even to you sweet thing.
"Okay then. I'll call you Mr. Doe. I hope that's alright."
No, it's not. When are you people gonna give up?
"Are you sure you don't want to at least say 'hi' to me? It would really help if you'd speak to me."
What the hell. I think I might just have a little fun with this one. My schedule is clear.
"Hi."
"Hey, alright! That's a start!"
"What the fuck do you want?"
"Wow! Six words and an interrogatory statement mashed up together! Impressive! In answer to your question, I want to talk to you."
What do you think you're doing right now, singin' to me? Damn, I wish I could see this one. She's so scared I can smell it,
but she's hidin' in plain sight.
"No response to that? That's a golden opportunity to, at the very least; tell me to go to hell."
Aha! That's an opening I can't resist.
"Go to hell."
"Well now, I just may do that. But not yet. I have work to do here first. Mr. Doe, may I at least call you John?"
"If you want."
But I prefer 'baby'.
"Great! Now..."
"Name's not John."
"Ah! Now that's where there's a bit of a rub. Nobody here knows your name. You had no identification on you when you were first
found after the flood. And you have consistently refused to give your real name to anyone."
"So?"
"For nearly 7 fucking years!"
"Hah! You said 'fucking'."
Isn't this one just the little spitfire?
"So?"
"Cute."
"Whatever you say. I can call you John, or Mr. Doe, or asshole or Rumplestiltskin. Or, you can tell me your real name."
"Why should I?"
Jeezus lady! Do you not understand how long I've been here and what I've been subjected to?
"Why not?"
Okay, she's askin' for it. She's gonna get it. I'm tired of pullin' punches.
"Okay, say I tell you my name. We hang out for a while and you tell me how my parents never loved me and that turned me
into the monster I am today. Then you write your little report, slip it into my file and trip along your merry way and nothing
happens and I never hear from you again. What the fuck is the point?"
"Oh my God! That was an entire paragraph! I am so honored. Okay, here's why you should tell me your name. It's what
people do. They meet and tell each other their names. Sometimes they even become friends. It's a human thing."
She can't be serious.
"I'm not human."
"I beg to differ. All the evidence points to it."
"All the evidence?"
"Of course. Blood work, physical appearance, language abilities, and for that matter DNA."
"DNA? They stole my blood and mapped my DNA? I don't think that's legal."
"Well, number one, they didn't steal your blood. They gave you blood. You know, so you wouldn't die? Number two, yes they
mapped your DNA, it's a thing they do, it's easy now. Number three, it wouldn't be legal if you'd told anyone, in the last 7 years,
your real name, but you didn't and now you're a ward of the great State of Oregon. So there, Tarzan, if you weren't being such a
horse's patoot, not only would we NOT have your DNA, but you'd probably be home with your family instead of trapped in here.
What's so funny?"
Holy shit! I think I like this one.
"Horse's patoot? Seriously?"
"Well, I'm trying to mix it up. I already called you an asshole."
You still haven't tried 'baby' honey.
"And Tarzan."
"Yeah. Next is Hulk or Lawnmower Man. Or John. Or your actual name. Your call."
Yeah, it is my fuckin' call honeypot. And don't you forget it.
"I'll think about it. Your creativity is amusing so I may stay mum about it a little longer."
"May I assume that you do remember your name? You remember who you are?"
No matter how badly I wish I didn't.
"Maybe."
"Wow, such a hard ass. They weren't lying."
"About what?"
"They said I was wasting my time, that you wouldn't cooperate with me."
"They were probably right."
"I do want to ask you one thing. Why are you speaking through your gritted teeth?"
Oh, for fuck's sake!
"You're kidding, right?"
"Not at all."
"Well hell, lady. I'm going to assume you're not blind and can see the straps preventing me from moving anything besides my mouth
and my eyes."
"I can see that."
"That's not the only form of restraint I am currently experiencing."
"What do you mean?"
"Does that file folder in your hand tell you about the pain that I feel? Does it mention that I'm in crippling pain, agonizing pain,
virtually ALL THE FUCKING TIME!?"
"Your record shows that you claim to be in constant pain and that you further claim that all painkillers are useless and do not work
on you."
"CLAIM? Lady, it's not a 'claim' it's a goddamned fact!"
"Okay, I believe you. The pain is causing your muscles and joints to seize up and locking your jaw and clenching your teeth is what you
must do to function through that pain."
"Give the lady a lollipop!"
"And no painkillers of ANY kind will work?"
"Only the strongest available, and I'm talking narcotics in high doses, and they wear off within minutes, not hours, minutes. Besides I
don't wanna take that shit anyway."
"And you have been in this circumstance for almost 7 years."
Yeah, and I just wish I was dead. So fuck off!
"That wasn't a question. What do you want me to say?"
"I wasn't asking a question. I told you I believe you and I'm now working on how many medical personnel will be named in the lawsuit."
"S'cuse me?"
"Well, not to put too fine a point on it, Mr. Doe, and at the risk of another cliché, your civil rights have been, not just violated, but murdered.
So, I will be arranging a program of testing for painkillers. Any kind you're willing to try. Any dose you're game to take. We will find one
that works."
"Ain't gonna happen."
"Why are you so sure of that?"
"Nothing ever has. I can't even get drunk. Can't get enough alcohol in me to get more than a light buzz that lasts maybe half an hour.
It's a metabolism thing."
"Well, I have to try. And I will deal with the people who gave up on you."
"You're gonna be awfully busy."
"Why do you say that?"
"Everyone gave up on me."
Even me.
"I'm sorry, John."
"Told you. Not John."
"Well then, maybe I'll just call you by a new name that I choose myself. Let me see, I need to look at your face to determine what you look
like. You might be a Clarence or a Donald. Look at me."
"Holy fucking hell!"
There is a God.
"What? What's wrong?"
"You're the one."
"The one what?"
"You broke it."
"Broke what? What the hell are you talking about?"
"You're fucking beautiful."
Maybe I don't want to be dead after all.
"Okay, now you're just being weird."
"I mean it. I've been lying here listening to your voice thinking it sounded really pretty, all smooth and soothing. But now that I've seen you,
looked into your eyes, I know better. You're fuckawesome gorgeous."
"Well, this is a new approach. Ever tried it before? Did it work for you?"
"You don't have to believe me. But it's true. I think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life and you wanna know
something else?"
"Sure, the fairytale continues. Why the hell not?"
"Yeah, you're not gonna believe this one, but I swear on everything I am that it's true."
"This oughta be good."
I will love you until the end of time.
"The pain stopped."
"Beg your pardon?"
"The pain. For 7 years. It just stopped. Just now."
I'm glad I didn't die. And I thought death would be my only escape.
"Are you crying?"
"Probably. I'd forgotten what it felt like not to be hurting. Thank you."
"I didn't do anything."
Oh, Honey. You have no idea.
"Yes, you did. I don't know what or how. But it was you. I felt it."
"What did you feel?"
The earth moved and gravity shifted...again.
"I've been released."
"Released? Well not yet but I think we might get you out of here reasonably soon. You might do better with a different type
of treatment."
"Not what I meant. You've released me."
"I don't understand what you mean. Released you from what?"
"From purgatory."
"Let's talk about that some. Tell me how bad it's been. I'm dead serious, I really want to know."
Oh no, my darling one. The truth would scare you too badly.
"I was unconscious, kinda in a coma, when they brought me in here. When I woke up, I didn't know where I was, I was surrounded by
strangers, I was in the most amazing pain I'd ever felt and to be honest, I was afraid."
"What were you afraid of?"
Everything. Being alone.
"That I was going to be experimented on."
"Experimented on? Are you joking? Why would you think that?"
"Well, it's kinda hard to explain."
"Try me. I got nowhere to be."
I'm gonna come clean with this angel. I can only go up from here. My salvation is sitting right next to me. God, I love her! Easy Jake.
Down boy! Don't frighten her.
"Um, okay. Well, I'm different from most people. That thing about painkillers not working on me, it's not the only thing about me that's...
um...unique. I heal from injuries really fast compared to most people. And when I found out I was in a mental facility, and they wouldn't
even tell me what state I was in, I got panicky that they had figured out that I was what they would call 'special' and wanted to take blood
and pieces of me to try to find out what made me different."
"Has that been tried before? Somewhere else that you've been maybe?"
"Well, almost but not quite. I was in a car wreck and the folks in the emergency room were freaking out about my body temperature.
It runs kinda high compared to a normal human."
"Yeah, I saw that in your file. Strange. But I can tell you this much, I'm really not interested in what makes you special or unique."
"Yeah? How come?"
"Because that's not my field. I'm interested in helping you feel like a normal person, no matter what you may actually be, and trying to
figure out how to get you back to your home or at least into some sort of normal life. Would that be something that might interest you?"
Oh my God, you have no clue about the life ring that you just tossed out to me, do you?
"Maybe. You think you can do all that?"
"If you dive in with me, I think I can. Can't do it alone, I assure you."
I'll dive into anything you want me to sweetpea.
"Yeah, I couldn't do it alone either."
"That's why I'm here. That's my version of job security I guess. People get lost, confused, troubled, I step in and try to help them fix
that stuff."
"Sounds pretty noble. I'll bet you have a lot of job satisfaction."
"I guess so. I don't do it for the satisfaction. I do it for the study. I love learning and I do this to gather information, so I know more
about something than I did before. I want to know more, always more."
"You sound like a school marm geek."
And I think I'm gettin' hot for teacher. God, if only I could break these straps, I could wrap my arms around her.
"I probably am. I was almost a professional student for a while there. You can't get a Doctor's degree in psychology in the usual 4 years."
"Yeah? How long?"
"Nine."
"Damn, that's too much school for my taste."
"I reveled in it. But hey, we're supposed to be talking about you. Are you up for being in a study and helping me out?"
With whatever you want darlin'.
"Yeah, why not? I got nothing else on my schedule."
"Perfect. S'cuse me a moment. Orderly, can you come in here please."
"Yes ma'am, is everything okay?"
"It is. Please remove all of these straps. Now."
"Ma'am? You sure?"
"I won't hurt her you moron!"
"Now, now Mr. Doe. Easy. Yes, young man. I'll be fine and I want these straps off now. If you'll notice right here on this form, I am
Mr. Doe's personal physician now and I'm ordering you to remove these restraints. Don't make me call the Director."
"Get him Doc!"
God, I love a woman with balls. And my new imprint's got 'em.
"Hush, John."
"Not Jo..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know, your name's not John. Don't care. Hush and be still."
Anything you say baby mine.