Hello again =) Thanks to you-never-talk-about-it for beta reading it! It's not much of a Densi-chapter, as you will see. Oh, before I forget it again. THANK YOU for the favorites, alerts and reviews! You're awesome. xx

Kensis POV

What have I done? I let the best person I know besides Callen and Sam, but they're like brothers, walk out of my life. Not forever, I tell myself over and over again. I let him down, because of what? That I know. It was too much. Again. The tension and his inability to respect the boundaries. He does this the whole time, I know, but the chance to act on what he's teasing me about is slowly becoming real. So I shouldn't talk about boundaries, there are none. That's why I did what I did. I basically snapped because it was too much, I can't handle that topic while being at work because I can't let the boys see my feelings. I'm scared. Scared they make fun of me, although I know that no one considers it because A) they know my history and that I can punch pretty hard and B) Deeks is in there too.

So why tell him mean things? Why not just tease back?

I don't have an answer to that.

Now he's gone and left me to deal with my feelings.

Feelings I don't often feel. They weren't even that strong when I was with Jack. He told me to think about what I want. I want him. I know I want him.

Oh god. Why do I realize what I want when the thing I want is gone? We're both hurt and didn't sort anything out. What happens when he's getting shot on an assignment because he isn't thinking straight? I could lose him forever. He could be taken away from me forever. No! I don't want that. I need him with me. Every day for the rest of my life and our partnership.

He's my best friend and he's one of the few men who won't take advantage of me when he has the chance to. He never touched me where I don't want to be touched. He's one hell of a man, he's funny, helpful and really caring and so much other things. And his good looks don't hurt either.

He's everything I want.

Having thought through her feelings more clearly, she sat in the mission working cold cases with Sam and Callen. She didn't get a new temporary partner because everyone knew Kensi can do without one (and she clearly didn't want one). Deeks had been gone for a while now and it was quiet as ever. The team still teased each other but they missed their fourth member of the team.

Being completely bored, Kensi checked her phone and found a message from Deeks on it. She squeaked a little bit in excitement and Callen and Sam didn't miss that.

"What's up, Lovergirl?" Callen smirked.

Kensi just glared at him and explained. "Just Deeks," she said without excitement, but the little lie was given away by the smile that had broken out and the light in her eyes.

"Mhh, yeah, just Deeks," Sam said, trying not to laugh at her attempt to convince them.

She opened the text and read: Hey Kiki :p You wanted to get a message so here you go. I'm doing good. Bates gave me a new case so I won't be able to contact anyone for a few weeks or longer. Hope you're doing well. When that is over, we're gonna talk. Don't eat too much donuts without me. Deeks xx

"How is he?" Callen asked, happy to hear some news about Kensi's soon-to-be-again partner.

"He seems good. He's got a new case." She didn't want to tell them about the rest of the message because that was something private, and her knowledge about her feelings was still too fresh to talk about it.

"Tell him he has to be careful and that he should come back ASAP," the team leader said calmly, but worried about Deeks in the inside. He's one of the best, he has to get out alive.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, say that. Man, I'm starting to miss this babbling surfer boy of yours."

"As if I wouldn't tell him that. Sam, you know you shouldn't have said that." Kensi laughed.

"Yeah, he's gonna tease me until you shoot him in the groin." Callen just smirked and Sam laughed too.

Kinsey laughed but didn't say anything because she replied.

Hey Shaggy :) I'm alright. Get out of there alive! Callen and Sam say Hi and they obviously miss you (Sam just told me ;)) I can't wait, so hurry up. Be careful. I miss you, Marty. Come back soon. xx

She didn't have to wait too long to get her reply.

Miss you too, Kens! See you soon. xx

That was 3 weeks ago. Bates gave them minimum of information how the case is going. They only knew that he's in and it's going great and that he hadn't been made yet.

They'd had a few cases meanwhile too, but nothing they couldn't solve.

What they didn't know was that Detective Marty Deeks, known to some as Nick Tilman, a kid with rich parents but that hadn't found the right way, solved the case and got a group of drug dealers arrested.

Meanwhile in the bullpen Kensi was still lost in her thoughts about her smoking hot partner, Sam was reading his newspaper like always, and Callen was reading his incoming message.

Hey Callen, it's Deeks. Just wanted to say it's over and I'm ok. Had an idea for a little team bonding: Who wants to wash my back? Either you or Sam, please if you can resist my hot body. Don't let Kensi go, I don't want her to see me like this. Oh and can someone pick me up? Thanks.

Great news. Callen thought. Not much longer and Kensi gets her partner back. She's going crazy without him. I should let Sam go, I talked with Deeks before he went undercover and Sam is the one left without a talk to Deeks and needs it.

Callen walked slowly over to Sam desk and stood in front of him.

"Sam, I think you need to go. You told Hetty you had an appointment today, didn't you?" Callen said, while sliding his phone on Sam's desk so he could read the message.

"I.. of course. Thanks Callen. After that I'll bring my old furniture to your house." Sam already had everything packed by now.

Kensi laughed. "Since when do you have things in your flat, Callen?"

"Yeah, well, even a lone wolf has to settle down someday."

Kensi smiled. "That's great, Callen."

Callen smiled at her.

Deeks opened the car door. "Thanks, man."

"No problem, but don't get anything dirty. You look like you took some hits. Everything okay, Deeks?"

"Sam being caring?" laughed Deeks. "Not only hits, but I don't want to talk about it. Not yet. I'm gonna survive it, though."

"I say that one time, so listen. I'm sorry. Not only for the beating and so on, but for how we treated you, too. I didn't realize that our words hurt you."

"Not everything, but I don't like it when someone talks about how I do my job or things that matter to me. And it was just too much to hear the things I did from the person who matters the most in my life. So don't worry, just respect me and the things I do more."

"Will do. Speaking of Kens, she misses you like hell and is getting on my nerves, so get your ass over to her house and bring the old Kensi back," Sam laughed.

"Trust me, if I didn't look like this right now I'd be with Kensi. But I can't move like normal so I need some help first," he smiled.

"Kensi would have helped you too, Loverboy."

"I know."

"And?"

"I look weak and I don't want her to see me like this."

"That girl likes, maybe even loves, you very much, she wouldn't think that."

After that sentence blood flushed through his cheeks. It meant something to him to hear something like that from one of his team. "Maybe, but I still don't have to like it."

"But you could have said so many comments that you can't now because I'm a guy," Sam smirked.

"Hahah," Deeks laughed. "That's true, but I am the master so I can still do a lot," Deeks smiled by now because he was happy to be back.

"Yeah, right, master of disaster. So.. you coming back after this?"

"I can't deny any of them. It's good to be back. Oh and I missed you too."

"Kensi?"

"Kensi," said Deeks to answer Sams question.

"Kensi's still at work?"

"Yeah and she doesn't know anything. We'll drive to the mission as soon as we got you clean."

"Thanks, man."

Deeks POV

I was smelling and looking like a wet puddle. We were back at the mission but I didn't go in yet. How will Kensi react? When do I talk to Hetty? Questions like that were in my head, but I was already on my way to the bullpen.

I walked into the room and heard Callen's voice. "Glad you're back, surf buddy."

I searched the room and found Kensi. She looked confused but I'm going to enlighten her now.

"A) I'm happy to see you too and B) we have to do that again."

Sam smirked and said with sarcastic voice. "Surf buddies - unbelievable."

Kensi looked puzzled for a few seconds, but then her eyes found mine.