Chelsea - haha, i don't think even Tom expected to slap Danny! xD
490 Dougies POV
I gasped, not sure if I could believe it or not, Tom had hit Danny? Our Tom, sweet, little, innocent, childish Tom? But, why? Couldn't he say what he wanted, not lash out like that? Tom didn't lash out like that, he wouldn't have usually, but was this what he was like now? "he didn't mean it, I know he didn't. It was just a response to his frustration, he didn't mean it, I know he didn't. I should have asked him first what he wanted, instead of just picking something for him." Danny sighed, kissing Toms head.
"Danny, its not your fault. Neither of you could stop it from happening. Its true that Tom shouldn't have done it, but you couldn't have stopped it. And judging by his reaction, he wont do it again. So, I think we should just forget about it and move on." Harry comforted, rubbing Dannys back gently. "but I still shouldn't have treated Tom like he's completely unable to look after himself, I should have at least asked him what he wanted." Danny whispered, not letting his head move from Toms. "well, we can learn from this then, and next time, we'll be more aware of that, and ask Tom what he wants." I shrugged, thinking that that could work, if we avoided getting Tom stressed, then surely he wouldn't lash out again? "yeah, I'll do that next time." Danny mumbled, getting up and crawling onto the sofa, getting in behind Tom, curling up to him.
Tom seemed to sense this and turned over a bit, his head turning to fall onto Dannys shoulder, his fingers opening and closing like he wanting to hold onto something. "I'm here baby, I'm here. Stay asleep, please, stay asleep." Danny grabbed his hand, kissing his neck repeatedly until the boy fell still and silent again. Tom stayed asleep for hours, and it seemed to help him a little, because when he woke up, he was seemed to be better. He was mostly still for one thing, glancing at Danny every few seconds, before looking away again, his head moving around too, making the glancing the most obvious thing in the world.
Danny seemed to ignore it, stroking Toms hair instead, trying to keep his head still. So, I took it that we should probably ignore his head movements too, like we ignored the rocking, and the ignoring, and the random outbursts of words that didn't make sense.
491 Dannys POV
Weeks past, and Tom hit me 5 more times, lashing out when he stressed over something, things that made him feel out of control. The pain was brilliant, he still had one hell of a hit on him, making me realise just how much I missed slicing open my arms, getting rid of my guilt on my skin. And my god, I felt guilty, and it increased every time I felt a blow from Toms pale hands. Because, each time he hit me, he seemed to have a moment of clarity, not complete clarity, but I could see in his eyes that he was sorry. He knew what he had done, and he was so sorry, he couldn't help himself. Looking into his big brown eyes each time, I could see the guilt, the helplessness, everything. It broke my heart. But it got shattered whenever that clarity went, when Tom lost it hours later, going back to the helpless child he was.
Right now, Tom had gotten over his latest clarity moment, and was crawling across the floor after Marvin, trying to catch the ginger fluff ball. I could tell that this was going to end badly, because Marvin was starting to look annoyed with him keeping on grabbing at him. "Tommy, I don't think that thats a good idea. It might be a good idea to leave him alone." I warned, taking a gently hold of Toms arm, stopping him from following. "but, but fluffy!" Tom whimpered, his head turning to look at me, breaking his concentration from Marvin. "sorry Tommy, but Marvin didn't like being grabbed like that. If you want a hug, I would like a hug." I whispered, sighing because I knew that soon it was Toms bedtime, and even though he was easier to handle asleep, I still wanted to spend more time with him, the slightest bit of understanding still in his eyes.
Tom crawled into my arms, letting me hug him close, swaying us from side to side, like he always did. I knew most of Toms quirks by now, I knew he couldn't sit completely still, he needed the movement to stay calm. So, we managed to sit like this for quite a while, just sitting there, as close as possible, our silence not broken once...until Tom started snoring, signalling that he was asleep. "sleep tight Tommy, I love you." I whispered, kissing his hair.
Carefully, I picked him up, cradling him in my arms. "got him sleeping then?" Harry asked, smiling a little. "yeah, right on time as usual." I laughed a little, by 8 in the evening, Tom was always asleep, no matter what was happening. So, I always tried to be holding him so he was nice and warm in my arms, so he knew he was loved and safe. I put him down on the sofa, making sure Toms body was covered by a blanket and he was resting on my lap, his hand squeezed in my mine. It was sort of routine now, to put him like this, so I could stay downstairs with Harry, Dougie and Carrie for a while longer, instead of staying upstairs on our own.
"so, want your dinner then? Its almost ready in the oven." Carrie bounced in, reading a box of something. "yeah, thanks. Whats that you got there?" I nodded my head towards the box. "its a cookie mix. I was thinking of doing some baking tomorrow, and I was thinking, it might be good if Tom helped me out a little. So maybe he could learn that touching and making food is good and fun, might help with his food problems." Carrie explained, she was genius, I swear. "thats brilliant! That could help a lot!" I smiled, knowing that Tom loved to make things, so he would hopefully go along with this. "alright, awesome, I'll be nicking him for a few hours then!" Carrie grinned, bouncing back out of the room.