He blinks past his glazed eyes everything around him felt so surreal. He couldn't even bring himself to shift his body position on the wooden picnic table that had left him sore from a night of lying on top of it. Replaying the previous night's events in his mind, he almost felt like he deserved to sit there in pain.
"Really? Where were you after I was attacked in my store? Where were you when I was so depressed that I couldn't even get out of bed? I found out I can probably never have kids. Where were you then?"
And once again he was reduced to tears. The entire night proved to be one repeated cycle of him replaying "could have, would have, should have" in his mind about the past years. He laid on the wooden surface nearly numb at the idea that Brooke had experienced so much devastation and he wasn't there to save her. He failed to live up to the promise he made to her years ago.
"Sometimes I just wish you could rescue me."
"From what?"
"From all of it."
"Okay, then I will."
Blinking harshly, he was interrupted from his thoughts by the sound of crushing gravel. Someone was here. He sat up eagerly as a lump formed in his throat at the realization of who the visitor was.
He watched as the man shut the door of his truck and walked towards him with calculated steps. The two men stared at each other for a moment before either spoke. They both sought one common thing: Brooke.
"I uh… Brooke didn't come home last night. She texted me and said not to worry, but I know better than that." Julian clears his throat before blinking quickly past a tear. "She comes here sometimes and I just thought…"
"I'm sure she's fine."
"I'm not an idiot, Lucas. She was here, wasn't she? The least you could do is be a man and admit it to me."
His eyes danced attempting to look anywhere but into Julian's eyes. Because the truth was when he looked into Julian's eyes it was a painful reminder that Brooke had someone who was fighting to keep her. It was a painful reminder that she was no longer his.
"She came by last night, but she's been gone for hours."
"What is it that you're trying to do, Lucas?" Julian smiled sardonically as he shook his head. "You broke her heart. You married her best friend, and you think you can give a Lucas Scott speech and that takes away all these years? She's happy, Luke. We're happy."
"Julian…"
"No, Lucas! You sat on this exact bench and told me that if I didn't try with Brooke I'd be an idiot! You said that, and I did that!" Julian rested his hands against his hips and he look down bearing a broken expression. And in that moment the only thing Lucas could ever begin to resent him for was that Julian was fighting for Brooke Davis, and he never did.
"And I was right, wasn't I? You'd have to be a complete idiot not to fight for Brooke Davis. I didn't take my own advice. It might be seven years too late, but I swear to God I won't make that mistake again."
The air between the two men had suddenly changed.
"I just can't keep running from this. I'm not asking for your blessing. Frankly, I wouldn't give it to me either. But, I always played by the rules of what everyone thought I should do. I'm not doing it anymore."
"Right, so you mean played by the rules when you cheated on her. Or when you kissed Peyton in the library that day?"
Low blow.
"We all make mistakes. Yours was name Alex, right?"
Julian's face contorted at his response, and he couldn't help but feel bad. He was telling this man that he was going to do everything in his power to win his fiancée back. Julian had every right to spew whatever insult he wanted to throw at Lucas.
"Look, Julian I respect you. I think you're a great guy. Maybe that's why I hate you the most. You haven't taken Brooke for granted and you asked her to be yours forever. You love her unconditionally. All I want for her is to be happy. If that's with you, then I'll back off. I'll know in my heart that she has someone who will always love her in the way she's always deserved to be. But if there is even one part of her that doubts it, I'm sorry. I just can't let her get away again."
"I know she loves me." He looks up and takes a long, drawn out breath. "I'm just not sure that's enough. If it was, I wouldn't be here right now."
"Julian," he shakes his head as he searches for words.
"I understand what you're doing. I'm just asking that if you love her… let her go." He nodded his head in Lucas' direction before taking a step backwards and heading toward his car.
As he watched the car retreat in the distance, Lucas pulled his keys out of his pocket and made his way toward his own car.
A lone rain drop fell onto her cheek as she could hardly decipher it between the tears that had seemingly continued to fall from her eyes all night. She ran her fingers through the sand that surrounded her as she fought past the numbness consuming her. Thunder roared throughout the sky, but it didn't deter her from her place on the beach.
She shouldn't have come here. Everywhere she looked she was reminded of him.
"Is this beach taken?"
"Plenty to go around."
"Don't worry I won't ask if you're okay."
"Good."
"Know any good jokes?"
"You're looking at one… Why does everybody lie? You know the bad guys lie to get in your bed, and the good guys lie to get in your heart. And I'm the idiot for falls for it every time."
"Brooke you are not an idiot. Not even close. You know who you are. Most people don't. You know, I mean, that's why they lie. They're afraid people might find out who they are before they figure it out themselves."
Lightning crashed behind the dunes, and she continued to remain rooted firmly in her place as she gazed off into the distance.
"You got a second?"
"Sure. What's up?"
"I'm the guy for you. I know we're just part time and that's cool. Do whatever. Have your fun, but one of these nights you're going to realize it. I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis. You'll see."
The skies seemed to open up as the rain fell with fervor, but she refused to move. Her bottom jaw quivered as her mind proved to be her worst enemy.
"Why do you care?"
"Because I'm in love with you."
She was pulled out of her thoughts by hands that firmly took a hold of her shoulders.
"Brooke! Brooke, what are you doing out here? When you called, I didn't think…"
Haley is screaming over the rain as she stares at her with concern growing on her features. She wraps her arms through her own as she pulls Brooke to her feet ushering her off the beach. As she walked off the beach, she knew that this storm was the least of her problems.
The sound of a frazzled Haley pulls her out of her seemingly never ending teary haze as she looks up to see her friend holding large, cotton towels.
"Brooke, you need these." She wraps the towels around her shoulders as she looks compassionately at her friend. "And then you need to tell me what's going on."
"You knew how he felt, didn't you?" Her voice gave up as she stared up at her best friend with pleading eyes. Haley can only nod meekly as she stares at her best friend her eyes desperately searching to give her friend some form of solace.
"And you didn't tell me?"
"It wasn't my place. For once, he needed to do something on his own. People pushing him is what started this whole tangled web."
"Do you know the real reason I came home, Haley?"
Her friend furrowed her eye brows as she watched her friend nearly unravel before her eyes as she rested her hand on top of hers.
"You wanted a baby."
"I came home because I sold my soul in New York. The night of Lucas' book release in New York he drunkenly tried to kiss me, and I went home and told my mom that I wanted to expand the company. I needed to forget it because if I allowed myself for even one second to think of what happened I would've been the same girl I was trying so hard to run away from; the sad story of a girl who loved a boy who could never love her as much as she loved him. And then I realized that the company didn't mend my broken heart, it just made me numb to it. I came home because after four years I still loved him. I could never run away from that. But, there was no doubt in my mind or anyone else's that he loved Peyton. And then, by some sort of miracle, I met Julian. And… I found this man who loved me and whose eyes lit up when he saw me and whose arms I felt safe in. I found someone who I loved. So, why does he have to do this now?" She broke down at her own words and sobbed into her friend's shoulders. Haley grabbed her shoulders and she forced her to look her in the eyes.
"Brooke, listen to your own words. There was no doubt in your mind or anyone else's that he loved Peyton. What about his?"
"Please don't defend him…" She shook her head defiantly at her friend.
"I'm not! I'm not defending him, but as a friend to both of you it hurts me to see both of you like this. I see two people who are just breaking down in front of me. And so I sit back and say to myself, if they didn't love one another would it really hurt this bad? Would he ever go through with a divorce and separate a family if he for one second didn't think that he loved someone else? Would I have to physically remove my crying friend from the beach in the pouring rain if whatever confession he gave to you didn't evoke something in your heart?"
She averted her eyes away from Haley's knowing that she couldn't bear to look into her eyes.
"I'm not telling you to do anything other than follow your heart, Brooke."
"I don't know if I can ever look at him that way again. Actions speak louder than words. And his actions always proved what he felt whether he admitted it or not. He had a knack for saving everyone, but me. I'm not sure he ever truly loved me." She shrugged attempting a tightlipped smile but failed miserably as she fell into a fit of sobs. "Julian's at home and…"
"Hey, sweetie. Come here." Haley pulled her into a hug while brushing through her hair with her fingers in an attempt to console her friend. "I'll take you home to him if that's what you want. But for the record, you and I both know that what you just said was total crap."
She walked out of the speechless at the scene she just witnessed. She could count on one hand the times she's seen Brooke Davis cry. The broken girl from moments ago seemed to be a complete stranger compared to the strong girl whose shoulder she had turned to time and time again in her own weaknesses. Brooke Davis was the girl who she turned to. And what she just saw scared the hell out of her.
As she rounded the bend connecting the kitchen to the entryway of her home, she was met by Nathan.
"Hi. I…" She threw her hands up as she shook her head sadly.
"I know. Let me take her home, okay?"
"Nathan, I'm her best friend. I should take her."
"I know that, but please just let me take her home." She stared up at her husband's pleading eyes as she apprehensively nodded.
The car came to a stop as he grabbed the shift placing the car in park. He bit his bottom lip searching for the right words after a silent car ride.
"Ya know, it tends to be swept under the rug that I've known you the longest." He nudges her arm with his elbow playfully and for a moment he swears he sees a shadow of a smile on her face. "I knew you before Peyton and everyone and I have seen you from a kid who became a teenager and then an adult. So, I just may know you better than anyone. And I heard what you said to Haley about Lucas never saving you." He sighs as he sees her look out the window and he reaches out and places his hand on his arm as she turns around to look at him.
"Sure, Lucas saved Peyton from the school that day and he ran into Dan's dealership to pull him from that fire, but he would have done that for any of us. That's just the kind of person he is. But, I watched Lucas Scott save you from yourself when it seemed like no one else could. He took a girl who hid behind sex and drinking and helped her to see that she was so much more than that. He saved you whether you want to admit that or not. And to me that outweighs any other heroic actions he's ever done."
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Julian opening the front door of his and Brooke's home closing his cell phone as he approached the car.
"Hey." He spoke quickly to beat Julian. "Don't look for excuses to hide from how you feel. If you need anything, call me."
Her eyes remained locked on his as Julian opened the car door.
"Brooke!" He helped her out of the car as he wrapped his arms around her. "Nate, thank you for bringing her home."
He waved in acknowledgement as he looked back to Brooke and tried to telepathically transport all the words that were left unsaid. As Julian ushered her inside, he saw her turn around to look at the car one more time before her figure retreated into the home and he put the car into reverse and drove away. And then he dialed the very familiar number that belonged to his brother.
She listened as the door closed behind her as she kept walking keeping her back to him.
"I'm sorry. I just needed some alone time. I know that wasn't fair to you but…"
"You're right. I would definitely constitute my fiancée disappearing for eleven hours with no explanation as to why unfair."
She hated what she was doing to him right now. She had been there. She knows how bad it feels to think that the person you love is with someone else. So, why was she doing it now?
"I'm so sorry."
Despite it all, it seemed like those were the only words she could offer. He laughed humorlessly before looking away from her.
"I asked you once if you still loved him, and you told me no. And I took that and even though I didn't fully believe it those words gave me the okay to fall completely in love with you and not look back. And now all the sudden, I've been forced to look back. Brooke, I proposed to you because I am in love with you and I want to build this beautiful life with you."
"I love you, too."
"I know you love me, Brooke. I do. But, I need to know if you're as in love with me as I am with you. And all night I battled with this and I think I know what I need to do."
"Julian…"
He walked closer to her as he took her hands in his own.
"I know this is your home and I always intended to stay here with you. But three weeks ago, I was offered a directorial position for a really great script that I turned down because it was in L.A. After this, I think maybe we should go. I don't know if I can live in the same town as him. Not now."
Choking out a sob, she tried desperately to find the light in his eyes, but all she saw was a broken man before her.
"It doesn't have to be forever, Brooke, but if you're in love with me, then you'll come."
14 hours. 14 hours ago she had been in Nathan and Haley's home beaming as she showed off her engagement ring with her entire future planned in her mind. 14 hours was all it took for Lucas Scott to open up Pandora's Box. And 14 hours later, she wasn't sure what would happen next.