"… but if you're in love with me, then you'll come."

California.

Tell me that was a goodbye kiss…

I wanna be with you, Brooke.

What?

I'm sorry. I know we're friends. It's just how I feel.

"Brooke?"

She blinks a few times pulling herself out of the memory. None of this felt real. Julian stared back at her with pleading eyes, and sympathy emerged within her. She had been there. She had felt the very same paralyzing fear that the person you love most in this world may not love you in the same way. She felt sick with herself. How had this all happened?

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I heard you."

She didn't know what else to say. He opened his mouth to say something before closing it looking back at her with pained eyes. He scratched the back of his head standing there searching for what to do next.

"Brooke, just tell me, okay? I won't hold it against you. I just need to know. I need…" His words seemed to get swallowed up in his emotion.

She could feel the words emerging from within her. She knew what her answer would be. And yet as the words were emanating within her, she couldn't fight the apprehension growing elsewhere. Was she going to leave the only place that felt like home? What would she do without her Haley, her Nathan, her Jamie, her Peyton? This was her world.

So, do I get to be a part of this world?

The biggest part.

She swallowed stiffly past the lump in her throat fighting past yet another memory.

"Okay." She said to silence her own mind. "Okay, I'll go with you. If California is where you need to go, then I will."

He seems stunned as if he was sure that she would say the opposite. Blinking a few times, he moves forward holding her hips in his hands.

"Brooke…" He looks down appearing almost sheepish to say what he's about to say. "If you're lying to protect me… well, that doesn't help me."

"I love you, Julian. I loved you when you asked me to marry you and I love you now. The rest is just… static."

It was true. She did love him.

He embraced her tightly in a hug and as she felt him running his hands through her hair her eyes remained rooted open.

She loved Julian. She knew that to be absolute, but then why the hell did she feel like this now?

XXXXXXX

3 days had come and gone feeling as if years had elapsed. He dribbled the basketball angrily having no regard for the pavement.

If you love her, let her go.

He let the ball sail through the air.

Brick.

If you love her, let her go.

He ran to the ball shooting a fade away.

Brick.

If you love her, let her go.

He grabbed the ball in fury slamming it into the concrete with all his strength sending the ball into an ascending spiral upward. Running his hands through his hair, he fell to the ground into a seated position cradling his head in his hands. As he laid there, his mind reeled to yesterday.

He opened his eyes in agitation to the loud bangs coming from his bedroom door. He blinked as he adjusted his eyes to the light. Rubbing his head, he felt the effects of the bottle of Crown Royal that occupied his desk. The banging continued.

"Alright! I'm coming!"

He knew who it was. If his text messages from the past day were any indication, his brother or Haley was sure to be on the other side of the door. Pulling a sweatshirt over his head, he finally got up ignoring the throbbing headache washing over him.

He opened the door, and Haley's face greeted him. Greeted might be the wrong word. Greet would imply she looked even the least bit happy to see him. She stood there with her arms crossed looking angry and disappointed in him all at the same time.

'Join the club,' he wanted to say.

"I was starting to get worried that you weren't answering, but clearly…" She gestures around his room to the bottle of liquor and the accompanying cups. "Clearly, you're handling everything just fine by yourself."

"I'm sorry." He was actually genuine in that apology. He hadn't meant to worry her. "Bad night…"

His eyes welled up with tears, and he clenched his jaw in anger. When would this feeling ever go away? Would he always feel like a weeping mess?

"Lucas, none of this will help, you know?"

He nodded full well knowing that it wouldn't. He knew that last night, and he knew it this morning. And yet somehow, he couldn't stop himself from doing it. All he wanted to do was forget. Good luck trying to forget Brooke Davis, though.

"I know. But, then again, what the hell do I know?"

He shut the door behind Haley as he turned back to face her, his best friend. It seemed like another lifetime that it had just been the two of them. They watched the world of the Nathan's, and Brooke's, and Peyton's from afar. They had never anticipated a day when it would soon be their world too. It was just them.

"She's moving to California, Luke."

His neck perks in complete shock. He wasn't sure what he was expecting in the wake of his untimely confession. Nonetheless, it wasn't this.

"When?" He nearly chokes out.

"Thursday morning.."

Thursday morning? As in two days from now. His peripheral senses seemed to magnify as everything around him seemed to focus. Brooke was leaving. He fell back into a seat on his bed staring forward in silence.

"Luke, here."

She flings an all too familiar tin box at him.

"Remember this?"

"Haley…"

"Look at the last one, Luke. The last predictions we ever made, you wrote 'I will try again with, Brooke.' Peyton told Brooke she still loved you. Brooke ran, but you let her. Don't let her. Try again with Brooke."

She was going to California. He was sitting here. And he never felt more confused in his life. Standing up, he grabbed the ball in his hands spinning the aged leather through his fingers. A strike of lightning went off in the distance and he shot the ball.

Brooke ran, but you let her. Don't let her.

Swoosh.

XXXXXXX

She folded what seemed like the millionth piece of clothing and placed it in a moving box. Every shred of her felt tired. With each item placed in the box, it seemed to take a little more of her strength, or maybe lack thereof at this point, left her. She looked up briefly to see her best friend walk up to the doorway of her bedroom. It looked as she was as pale as a ghost as she was taking in the moving boxes.

"Brooke, what is all of this?"

She lowered her head finishing folding the next item of clothing and setting it down lightly. She swallowed sharply past a dry throat. She wasn't mad at Peyton, but she was disappointed.

"Julian got an offer to direct in California."

"You're… moving?" The words seemed to paralyze her friend. "Oh, Brooke please tell me this isn't because of…"

"Because of what?" She cuts her off quickly suddenly feeling a burst of energy. "Because Lucas decided to open Pandora's Box… again. Because you knew that. Or because you had no problem telling me your feelings for him all those years ago, but you're pretty damn quiet when he says he loves me?"

"I deserve that. I know that, but I didn't keep it from you selfishly." Her friends voice is calm; a far cry from the demeanor she thought she would carry after saying that to her. She looks at Brooke pointedly waiting for her to continue as if she's been waiting for this conversation for a while now.

"Why? I asked you point blank what happened to you and Lucas. Why couldn't you find it in you to tell me?"

"It wasn't my place to say."

"But, it was your place to tell me you loved my boyfriend?"

"It wasn't my place because if he had any shot at all then it needed to come from his mouth. What would have happened if I told you? You would have assumed that it was me pushing him to you, or something that would have distracted the entire point which is that he loves you. And I don't think that, I know that. And he knows that. The only person that doesn't is you. And the only way that you may have is if it came from him."

She narrowed her eyes absorbing everything Peyton had to say.

"And I know that you wouldn't be standing there looking at me like you've just been shot in the chest if you didn't feel the same exact way."

She stays silent watching as her best friend moves closer to her softening her features as she looks on at her sympathetically.

"I know I'm the girl who coined people always leave and all that garbage, but see I was so lucky because I always had you. I had you by my side even when I didn't deserve your friendship. You're my family, and I want you to have the love that you have always deserved. Mistakes were made… huge ones. Those mistakes are why I'm here right now. But, it doesn't make it any better if we keep making them. You not admitting how you feel about him, how you've felt about him since you two starting dating junior year, would be a sin, Brooke."

"The boy I love protected the girl I love… and it's the girl that he loves too."

"Brooke…"

"No, we both know it's true."

"Okay. Look, come here."

"Hey…"

"No, come here. Alright, I want you to listen to me. I care about Lucas and I always will, but he is insanely in love with you and ya know what? So am I. You're my Brooke, and I'm not going to hurt you again."

She's heard it before. She knows that, but for some reason this time she sees a different look in her friend's eyes. Peyton doesn't seem to be telling her this to soothe her suspicions. The conviction in her words seems to want to squash her suspicions once and for all. This Peyton seems very, very different. And it brings tears to her eyes. Somehow, it made this even harder.

"Brooke." Sympathy oozes from her friends mouth as she leans forward embracing her in a hug before pulling away and smiling sincerely. "You know, every day I wish we could take it all back. I wish we could rewrite the way everything happened, but then part of me knows that everything happened this way for a reason. We were kids then, and we fell into all the pitfalls of what that means. We grew up. We became adults, and when I look in Lucas' eyes I know he's not this boy that has all these questions. He's a man who knows exactly what he wants, and it took him a while to get here, but he did."

She can feel her jaw quivering as she looks back at the reflection of the girl who has been there for as long as she can remember.

"Pretty ironic, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"You go off to California only to realize that you're insanely in love with the same boy you've loved since you were 17. Only this time, you have a choice. And whatever it is that you choose I will support you completely. Just promise me you'll choose from your heart. In all of this mess, you are the one that deserves the happy ending."

And that is when her tear ducts decided to unleash another attack on her. Collapsing into her best friends arms, she let Peyton hug her as she held on to her. And all of the sudden resolution washed over her. The one person who she had always subconsciously sought approval from had given it to her. She had hoped and prayed for this six years ago, and on this rainy afternoon twenty four year old engaged woman she received it.

XXXXXXX

Leaning back against his seat as he put his vintage Mustang in park, he glanced over his shoulder to the woman who had been the center of his every thought. Growing up, he never prayed nearly enough to the God that he knew was there. As he sat in his car now, he found himself closing his eyes and praying silently. He prayed that he would have the strength to do what he was about to do. He prayed that even if it killed him Brooke Davis would find every happiness she always deserved. He prayed and prayed.

Finally gathering the strength to get out of his car, he grabbed a thick, aged stack of papers from his passenger seat and stepped out of the car and began to take small, methodical steps toward her. He knew she saw him; it would have been impossible not to, but she gave no indication of this. Instead, she sat on the tire swing hanging from the large, oak tree with her eyes staring off into the night sky. He couldn't help but to stand there and marvel at her beauty. He was certain that he would never get used to it. She would always take his breath away. Her hair framed her face in perfect, loose waves. Her skin looked as if it was immaculate porcelain under the moon's light. She was simply beautiful.

Deviating his eyes from her for the briefest of moments, he smiled softly at the sight of the red door of the grandiose home. He had known she would be here the second Haley had texted him informing him that Julian had mentioned that Brooke said she needed to go somewhere. They were leaving in the morning, and he could name a few places that he could surmise she may be. In high school, it had been her identity and he knew that in her search for herself she would come here. After all, she was and in his heart would always be the girl behind the red door.

"Don't go… I just had to say it. You have to stay…"
"I really liked being the girl behind the red door…"

Taking one more deep breath in an attempt to steady his rapid heart rate, he took the final steps towards her.

"You always had the worst timing." A small smile appeared on her face and disappeared just as quickly as it had come. If he blinked, then he was sure he would have missed it.

"I know." He smiles painfully knowing full well that she had been right. "Brooke, can I ask you a question?"

She looks up at him without saying a word. As he looks into her eyes, he searches for the sparkle; the sparkle that he knew Brooke Davis by. Instead, she just looked drained. It nearly broke his heart in two. There was only one explanation for this: himself. He took her silence as a cue to ask the question.

"Why didn't you tell me what Peyton had said to you that night of the rehearsal dinner?"

She doesn't say a word as she unravels herself from the grasp of the rubber tire swing to stand before him. He can see a war waging as it looks like her mind is ticking searching for a way to articulate the answer he was looking for. She shrugs her shoulders softly looking like the eighteen year old girl he once knew.

"It wasn't just about her. It was just the straw that broke the camel's back."

"It would have changed everything."

"Maybe." Her voice is quiet, and then they fall silent. He knows he could stand here and argue with her that the truth of Peyton's confession would have put their lives in a completely different direction. He could, but he won't. He knows that while she might be wrong to believe that it wouldn't have changed things she was also right that it hadn't just been about that.

"Do you know what I see every night before I go to bed?"

The wind picks up slightly and the sounds of crickets seems to permeate making the silence between the two of them seem louder.

"I think back to being eighteen sitting on my bed listening to you breaking up with me. Every muscle in my body felt paralyzed. My mind was going a mile a minute, and it was screaming at me to say something… anything. Nothing came, though. I look back and I just can't figure out why. And then it came to me in a way that I never would have expected. Lindsay had come to pack up the rest of her stuff and as she turned to leave my bedroom I could only think of one thing to say. Do you ever miss me? That's what I came up with. And I knew then that it was because I asked myself subconsciously the very same question about you. You said you stopped missing me. And I shut down. Instead of fighting for what I knew in my heart I absolutely couldn't live without, I fought to forget what I thought was lost. I adapted. I went after the things that my mind told me made sense instead of what my heart felt. And here I am." He laughs humorlessly as a tear rolls down his cheek.

Her eyes are glistening with tears as she continues her idle silence. He figures it's for the better. It makes this all easier.

"I get it, Brooke. I get that for seven years I have failed in every way to just follow my heart and ignore the rest. I should have told you right then and there in my bedroom that night that I was going to do exactly what you had told me to do. I should have said that I was going to fight for you, and I wouldn't stop until you realized just how much I loved you. I should have said that there was no else that I could ever be with and that I would rather be alone than without you. I should have been the Lucas Scott from the beach that night telling the world that I'm one for you." The steadiness that he had fought to keep in his voice was gone now as a crack escaped from his mouth. Blinking furiously past the tears, he exhaled sharply.

"But even though that's what my heart was telling me to say, I didn't. So for the first time in a long time, I know exactly what I need to do. Someone once told me that the most perfect act of love is sacrifice. I'm so in love with you…." He stops debating if he could really say what was coming next. "…But I love you enough to let you go." His bottom jaw begins to quiver as he fights past the tears coming down his face. "I love you enough to let you be with the man who never once took you for granted or hurt you and the man who you love. I'll sit at that wedding and even though it will kill me I'll hold my head high and I'll smile for you. I want you to be with someone who makes you feel the way I feel when I'm with you. Maybe it doesn't work out for us, but I am and will always be in love with you. The simple act of loving you was enough for me."

She has been crying since the start of his long- winded speech, but he knows it is for the best. He feels like with each breath he takes his chest constricts more and more. Despite his best intentions, this is absolutely killing him. With each passing second, he takes every ounce of his energy to not change his mind. All he wants to do is kiss her and tell her to just be with him. But he can't. It was time for him to take a page out of Brooke's book and treat her with the unselfish love that she had given to him for as long as he could remember.

"Luke…" She nearly chokes out through silent sobs as she searches for words. "I…"

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. Just…" He holds the stack of papers out and gestures them to her. "Please take this. The greatest tragedy to come out of all of this was if you never knew the extent of how much I loved you back then."

"What is this?" Her eyes scan the aged papers.

"It's the very first draft of Unkindness of Ravens before the edits… before everything. I want you to have it. I need you to read it. I want you to be happy with him, Brooke, but I need you to know that you were never, ever just the footnote in someone else's love story. You were the love story. Sometimes in life there's just not always a happy ending."

She holds the book in her hands and stares at it as if she had just been punched in the stomach. He watches her for just a moment memorizing her features. He knew that when he walked out of here he would need to distance himself from her for a while. Not because he wanted to, but because he had to. He was never able to be just friends with Brooke Davis no matter how hard he had tried. Smiling softly, a lone tear escaped from his eye.

"I didn't lie, you know? I meant what I said when I told you I love you and I probably always will." It was the first sentence she was able to muster, and it was enough to tear his heart right out of his chest.

"I'd sell my soul to be able to go back, Brooke." He sniffles past what felt like the millionth tear that he had cried. "You're his now. He's a lucky man."

He stared her in the eyes and knew immediately that it was a mistake. Looking her in the eyes was a recipe for him to fall more in love with her if at all possible. A sob escaped from her lips and reticently he took a step forward and embraced her in a hug. Closing his eyes tightly, he took in the smell of her hair. He prayed time could just stand still right here and now; however, he wasn't foolish enough to believe that it would. As he let go of her, he kissed her forehead. Taking her hands in his own, he squeezed them softly.

"I'd wait a lifetime for you, Brooke Davis."

And then, he did the single hardest thing he's ever done in his life: he walked away. As he shut his car door, he wouldn't allow himself to look back. Starting the ignition of his car, he drove into the distance and felt like a piece of him would always be left in front of the house with the red door.