A/N: Sorry this took so long. I tell you what, if one of you can name the song House plays and who performs it, I'll get the next one out by the end of the month.
Forks, Washington. The Cullen Residence.
House was pleased to see his sudden outburst had thrown the opposing ranks of vampires and werewolves in shocked silence. He surveyed the newly arrived squadron of massive wolves with clinical disinterest before deliberately turning his back and walking back inside the house, idly noticing that the massive steel shutters that had been closed when he'd first arrived had been opened at some point. House wondered which of the vampires has taken time off from angst filled posturing to do something else, and why it couldn't have been something that was actually useful.
He slid the heavy sliding door shut with enough force that it hit home with a loud thud, before ambling over to the fridge and taking out another can of Coke. Opening it, he limped over to the kitchen table and sat down before propping his feet up on the polished surface and leaning back in his chair. After a few moments the door slide open again and Carlisle wondered in, closely followed by a stark naked native American man who was muscled like Adonis and scowling like Clint Eastwood. Like barbarian chieftains approaching an envoy of the Roman Empire, they slowly made their way across the room and stood before the human doctor.
"You people.," House said, sipping his Coke, "Are making things just a little impossible for me. Every time I come up with an idea, something dramatic happens. I'm sure that keeps your lives interesting, with lots of nice little gossip, like just when is the werewolf gonna pop the question to the demon spawn or…whatever."
Emmet slipped inside, following his father and keeping a wary eye on Sam. House's eyes darted to the newcomer and then fixed back on Sam. He heaved himself back to his feet and finished off his soda, leaving the empty can sitting on the table top. He limped a half circle around the still sitting vampire and werewolf leaders, stopping and leaning on a counter top when he was halfway between Emmet and the entryway between main living room of the Cullen's house and its kitchen.
"So, you came running when you heard that the scary Teen-People vampires had a human hostage, right?"
"Yes. Leah phased about half an hour ago and when she did…"
"You heard all about me, right? Communal telepathy in action?"
Sam looked surprised,
"Yes…but how did you know about that? Leah told us that she hasn't had time to fully explain our ways to you."
House smirked,
"Devil Child gives up more than she realizes when she does that whole memory share trick, I guess."
Sam's eyes hardened,
"And did she tell you that by revealing themselves to you the Cullen's have given themselves no choice but to either turn you…or silence you?"
Carlisle flinched, but before he could protest, House shrugged and said;
"Figured as much. Can't have people running around blabbing about y'know, Vampires being real. Could be disconcerting to the general public. But wouldn't this…imprint or whatever you call, form She-Bitch keep me from talking anyway? Kind of an if I give up the Vampires, I give up the wolves too sort of thing?"
Sam looked thoughtful,
"In any case, I don't plan on sticking around to find out. I have pressing engagements in not being surrounded by bloodsuckers and werewolves land." House reached behind him and slid a small pairing knife from the black and white knife block on the counter-top, "The original plan was to have you guys show up here and start a little fracas with the Sparklies…but since that didn't work the way I wanted it to, I'll have to improvise."
Without hesitation, House sliced the knife across the palm of his left hand, opening a deep, bloody cut. Emmet caught the smell in an instant, his face going blank as the sweet smell of human blood wafted across the room. He grabbed the sliding door's frame in support, gripping it so hard the stainless steel door stop, with a tortured squeal of bending metal, was almost rent apart. Edward shouted from outside as he read both Emmet's hunger and House's intentions. He made for the doors in a flash, but one of the younger Quileute's, misinterpreting his actions as an attack on the pack leader in the house, lunged forward and snapped his powerful jaws at Edwards leg, sending the red haired vampire sliding to the ground. Snarling in fury, Bella lunged forward and knocked the young wolf back from her mate; yelping in surprise, the wolf darted back to the safety of the larger mass of Quileute's. Before Edward could try and explain what was going on, the wolves charged forward.
Inside, Sam had shot to his feet and was moving to get between House and Emmet while Carlisle was trying to calm his son's bloodlust. He was having some success, too, until House, with an exasperated roll of his eyes, flicked his left hand at Emmet, sending thick drops of blood from his freshly opened wound spattering across the leviathan vampire's face. Letting loose with a primal snarl, Emmet started to lunge across the room. In a split second, Sam had phased into his wolf form, his huge bulk almost filling the kitchen. He batted one huge paw into the air in front of Emmet, catching the vampire in mid leap and sending him flying out the back door and into mass of vampires and wolves in the back yard.
Inside, as Sam let loose a deep growl and stalked out the ruined sliding doors and unto the back porch, the doctor slipped quietly into the house, listening contently to the sounds of the coming battle he'd kicked off. He paused to snap up a velvet cloth form a table, spilling the arrangement of white roses that had been resting on it across the bare wooden floor. Whistling happily to himself, he quickly tore the silver colored fabric in two and used one half to bind his wound, before tossing the other unto the floor behind him. He paused at a small end table and slid open the drawer mounted in it. Scooping up a handful of car keys, which he dropped in one of the pockets of his rumbled blazer, he opened the front door and looked around the front yard. Suddenly, something hit the side of the house with enough force to shake it to its foundations. House closed the door partially as Rosalie and Emmet rounded the corner, pursued by four of the massive Quileute wolves. The wolves and Vampire squared off for a moment as if unsure they wanted to launch an attack, but one of the younger wolves, who hadn't been around the vampire as often as his elder siblings snarled at some move of the vampire and lunged forward towards Rosalie before one of the elders could stop him. Rosalie grabbed hold of the scruff of the wolfs neck and slung him across the lawn and into a patch of thick mud. Another of the hot tempered wolves followed his brother, forcing the other two unto the attack as well. They went after Emmet, who quickly shoved one away before the other tackled him to the ground; moving to quickly for House to track, Rosalie darted away, with both the wolf that had just attacked her and the one that had gone after Emmet and gotten pushed back in pursuit. Emmet and the other wolf, in the meantime, had become locked in a wrestling match that almost seemed friendly; clearly neither wanted to seriously hurt the other. As this snarling ball of brown fur and designer clothes rolled away from the Cullen's front porch, House opened the door and moved as quickly as he could across the yard towards the old barn where the vampire kept their collection of extremely expensive vehicles. The doctor kicked open a side door and walked inside. Long lines of florescent lights snapped on over head, activated automatically by motion sensors; their harsh light shone back brilliantly from the small fleet of multicolored sports cars and luxury autos arranged in two neat rows down either side of the barn. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a set of keys and hit the unlock button on its remote opener.
The headlights of a canary-yellow Porsche flashed twice in response.
"Oh my-my…" House gloated, limping over to it. He opened the door and flopped inside. As he started the car up, he reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and came up with a CD he'd taken from Edwards room earlier.
A fast guitar line erupted from the cars sound system, under cut with a rapid drum and cymbal beat.
"Ain't a hope in hell…" a gravel voiced singer began
"Nothing gonna bring us down,
the way we fly, five miles off the ground…"
The human revved the engine a few time before dropping the sports car in gear, and with a squeal of rubber it shot out into the empty space between the rows of vehicles; House cut the wheel sharply and the Porsche slid across the isle, its back end smashing across a Ferrari parked on the other side of the barn.
"Because we shoot to kill and you know we always will,
It's a bomber! It's a bomber!"
With the gas pedal pressed firmly to the floor board, the Porsche shot towards the Barn doors like a guided missile; it smashed the heavy wood gates to kindling, losing a headlight and side view mirror in the process. With the fast guitar line still blaring, the sports car skidded across the gravel drive,
"Scream a thousand miles,
Feel the black death rising moan!"
Outside the brawling vampire and werewolves seemed to have migrated to the front of the house, but few of them looked up when the yellow Porsche smashed it's way free from the barn, so intent were they on their own battles,
"Firestorm coming closer,
Napalm to the bone!"
Those few who deigned to glance over were greeted by the sight of House sticking his bandaged left hand out the window, middle finger raised.
"Because you know we do it right,
A mission every night!
It's a bomber! It's a bomber!
It's a bomber!"
With a guitar solo blasting, House shifted again and the Porsche sped down the gravel road leading from the clearing to the highway, taking the sharp turns at breakneck speed,
"No night fighter,
gonna stop us gettin' through!
Sirens make you shiver,
You can bet my aim is true!
Because you knew we aim to please
Bring you to your knees!"
In the light of the remaining headlight House spotted the asphalt of a highway ahead.
"It's a bomber! It's a bomb…"
Something slammed into the side of the Porsche, sending it spinning off the road and into the underbrush and trees of the forest. It almost overturned, but a small hand wrapped around the rear bumper and pulled it bodily back to earth.
Inside, face pushed awkwardly towards the door by the airbag that pinned him to the seat, House groaned in mixture of surprise and dismay.
He groaned again when the angel face of a beautiful young girl poked up on the other side of the ruined driver's side door.
The doctor growled something that sounded like "demon seed", but his speech was distorted by the airbag pressing on his face.
The girl wrenched the door from the cars frame and tossed it aside, and then ripped a hole in the side of the airbag, sending the air pouring out of it. House leaned back in the seat and looked skyward for a moment.
"How did you know?" he asked.
By way of reply, Renesmee set her hand on his, sending her memories to flash before House's eyes.
The doctor paced around the Cullen's in a slow circle berating them for what he at the time though was their falsely vampiric nature, all the while casting glances around the room, analyzing. His eyes focused, just for a few seconds, on the open drawer of the end table by the door and the car keys inside. They flick across the interior of the living room and then out the window to the barn outside. He nods slightly. He knows this is where we keep the cars parked.
Leah sitting outside mom and dads room with House barricaded inside. A small note slips out from under it, Leah picks it up, and read it, her eyes first growing hard, then going blank. Dad isn't here to read the doctors mind, and he knows it. He's planning something.
After the doctor left the room, I slip inside. One of dad CD's is missing. I don't know why the human would take it, but he has. It's very strange.
The Quileute's suddenly come in force and un-announced across the treaty line.
I know what House wants. He wants to escape and is going to use a fight between my families as cover.
Renesmee moves her hand away from House's.
"Not bad, kid." House grunted, for the first time referring to Nessie as something other than "Devil Child".
"Someone could have been hurt. Or killed." Nessie stated calmly.
The doctor looked her in her eyes; no matter how calm she sounded, he could tell she was furious.
"No. They couldn't." he answered simply.
Renesmee narrowed her eyes and he explained further;
"The wolves and the vamps will snap and snarl. They'll even fight. But they won't hurt each other, not anymore. You showed me that."
Nessie sighed,
"They can all still be very foolish."
"They're only human." House returned, as he gingerly climbed out of the wrecked Porsche, "So what now? You're not going to hit me, are you?"
Renesmee shook her head,
"No, now you're going to go back and save Aunt Alice. Move it." Renesmee pointed back down the road, where a crowd of very angry looking vampires and Quileute's was rounding the corner in pursuit.
"Oh joy."