A/N-Hey guys, sorry I've been so update lazy, but I got about $120 worth of Orks for Christmas, and I've been spending most of my free time painting them up.

In other words; I'S BEEN GETTIN' ME BOYZ READY FER' DA' SCRAP! I GOT NO TIME TA BE WASTIN WIF' NO SPRAKLIE HUMIE GITS! WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Anyway…

Oooh, I just had an idea for another crossover.

This chapter gets a little crazy but I found I've had to throw in a curveball to keep myself interested.

"Covering fire!"

"Shit, shit shit! We got gooks inna' damn wire! We gonna die, we gonna die!"

"Claymores, claymores, claymores!"
*BOOM*

The sound of the claymores detonating rent through the muggy jungle night, snapping second lieutenant Greg House back to reality. He sat up with a start, brandishing his M-16 at the empty night air.

"El-tee! Your still alive! The el-tee's still alive, man!" a young grunt shouted nearby, as she reached up to drag House into a muddy trench.

"What…what's the situation?" House demanded,

"The situation? The situation is we're all fucked!" the grunt shouted back. In the light of a trip flare House read the name tape on the soldiers unifrom in the light of a trip flare,

"Cullen!" the wounded officer shouted, "Get your shit together! We need to find the rest of the platoon before…" House paused as he unleashed a burst of fire form his rifle into a charging Viet Cong, "…we get overrun! Now man up, trooper!"

Bella's eyes widened as she followed her lieutenant deeper into the half destroyed trench system.

"Keep you head down and your pecker hard, kid!" House shouted, ignoring the obvious problem with that statement, "One slip and they could take us all out!" The lieutenant shouted, pausing to gun down a pair of oddly sparkling Vietnamese guerillas,

"The rest of the platoon should be up ahead sir!" Bella shouted, as napalm vaporized the encroaching jungle surrounding the firebase. House blinked as the jellied gasoline flames dazzled his eyes, "We need to find a radio and report in!" he shouted back at his subordinate, "before command goes ape-shit an' nukes us all!"

House heard an angry womans voice buzzing from a nearby radio. Looking around, he found a dead radio man slumped against the trench wall,

"HOUSE! HOUSE IF YOU DON'T CALL ME I'LL EAT YOUR SOUL! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW PISSED…" the voice cut off as a mortar round landed in the trench, smashing the radio and its operator's corpse to bits.

"Shit, there'd better be another radio!" House shouted, before grabbing Bella and dragging her towards a nearby bunker,

"I can't do this! I'm scared sir! What's going on, how can I make sure this all my fault, I know I can get really angry for no reason…"

The trooper whined on and on, until House chucked her face first into the bunker and stormed in right behind.

He found a small squad gathered inside, doing their sullen best to ignore the maelstrom outside as mortar and rocket rounds rained down on the trench lines.

"Bella!" one of the grunts shouted, before dashing over to tackle the whiny trooper to the ground and press his lips to hers,

"Oh Edward! I love you so much!"

"Knock it off!" House roared, separating the lovebirds with the help of a sharp kick, 'We got us a war to win! Where's my machine gunner?"

"Yo Ell-Tee!" One of the soldiers shot to his feet, a big guy with short black hair carrying an M-60 machine gun and with an improbably large amount of ammo belts wound around his fatigues. House was happy to see that one of these troopers seemed to have his shit together,

"All right, Emmet, set up position in the main aperture and lay down suppressing fire…"

"I …uh…you what?"

House sighed in exasperation,

"Stick the machine gun out of the firing slit and shoot it a lot."

"Oh! Okay, got it boss!" Emmet motioned for his assistant gunner, a stunning blonde who had apparently decided to go to war in a French maids bonnet, fishnet stockings, stiletto heels and not much else, "Lets get her ready to go, Rose!" Emmet cheerfully declared as he began indiscriminately blasting way with his machine gun.

Satisfied as he could be, House turned to find a berserk looking trooper stairing back at him, her dark Native American feature smeared with blood and what appeared to wolfs ears sticking out of her dark hair.

"Do you need me to do anything Greg?" she asked, grinning coquettishly,

House gulped and looked down at the necklace of hears around her neck, before looking into her fawning eyes as she ran a gore-covered hand down the front of his uniform,

"Not right now, Leah." he said shivering as the woman nonetheless stood as close to him as she could get.

"Uh…Doc Carlisle!" House stammered,

"Yes?" the medic asked, haughtily.

"Casualties?"

"Just one!" Carlisle said pointing to a young dark haired girl spread out on a stretcher, with a young man dressed as confederate officer staring down at her.
"Hell! We don't know what's wrong with her…"

"But you have to fix her." Carlisle pointed out. "I tried already."

"Hell with that! We're being overrun, I'm calling for evac, right the hell now!"

"No you're not, Amerikaner." A voice with an absurdly heavy German accent growled from the shadows. An eleven year old girl dressed in a full SS uniform strode up to the Lieutenant and set her hands menacingly on her hips, "You are going to stay here until we say you can leave. Until then, fix Aunt Alice!"

House grudgingly looked back down at Alice, who was now encased in a solid titanium shell.

"That's it!" he shouted, grabbing a rocket launcher off a dead VC as his bullet riddled corpse fell into the bunker, "We'll fire this at her!"

"That's a terrible idea." Carlisle shouted,

"I don't see you coming up with one! Let's consult the rest of the team, shall we?" House turned to Emmet who was still gamely fighting off the Viet Cong by himself, "Emmet, what do you think?"

"Ummm…blow her up, I guess."

"Good, Bella what…"

Bella was back on the floor, alternatively snarling at and making out with Edward.

"Sulky!" the officer roared, separating them with the toe of his left combat boot, "Get off your ass and get back to monitoring the situation like a told you to! Bella! Your opinion?"

"Whatever you guys think is best."

"But what do you think?"

"Whatever you guys do, I guess."

House rolled his eyes and turned back to Carlisle as a troop of Wolves ran through the bunker, arguing with one another and snapping at the soldiers,

"Argh! I might as well be alone in this damn battle!" he shouted, "What would you people be without your damn dramatics?"

"They're important." Edward pointed out, as he crouched next to Alice, a life sign monitor flickering across his forehead,

"No they're not…"

"You should look into them."

"Look I've had enough of your stupid, high school, wannabe…" House shouted, just as a Viet Cong sapper, his pale skin sparkling in the sunlight, dragged him out of the bunker.

The American lieutenant looked up to see the vampire bare its fanged teeth before it snapped at his neck.

Dr. House gasped and sat up straight, staring uncomprehendingly at the inky blackness that surrounded him for a few moments. Blinking hard, he looked around, hands clenching the thick, gold colored bedspread that covered the bed in Bella and Edwards room of the Cullen mansion.

He slowly blew out the lungful of air.

That had been one exceptionally crazy dream, and he would most definitely not be getting back to sleep. He was quite certain he didn't want to anyway.

Shaking his head his head to clear it he slid off the bed, leaning on one of the overly decorated iron posts supporting it before pushing off and getting to his feet. Scrabbling around in the darkness by the bed stand he found the lamp setting on it and switched it on. He grabbed his cane, leaned heavily on it and walked to the door, memories of that insane dream still swirling around in his head. Grunting in exertion, he pushed the heavy chest of drawers he'd barricaded the door with aside and strode into the white walled highway beyond. He limped through the seemingly empty house, savoring the sudden stillness in the air. He knew that the three vampires in the House were clustered in a room down the hall; the one called Jasper wasn't going anywhere other than the bedside of his stricken wife, Alice, while the pedantically annoying one, Edward, shouldn't be straying to far either. Not that it mattered; the skeevy little mind reader would know everything he was doing, even if he was in another part of the house.

House shuddered involuntarily. He was definitely not comfortable with the thought of someone being able to see every one of his normally closely guarded thoughts. Hopefully Wilson never found out about Edward. The oncologist would move heaven, earth and a goodly portion of hell to drag the vampire back to Princeton so he could function as a permanent interpreter.

Hearing a barely audible chuckle from Alice's room, House shivered again and limped down the stairs.

He came to an abrupt halt midway down, when he found the half vampire devil girl sitting on the couch, staring up at him with a distinct lack of expression.

"Hello Dr. House. Did you sleep well?" Renesmee asked, her voice strangely toneless.

Reaching into his jacket pocket, House pulled out a bottle of Vicodin.

"Last time I saw you, you were dressed like a Nazi."

"I…what?" Renesmee asked, her formerly toneless voice suddenly sounding confused.

The doctor dry swallowed a painkiller.

"That's what Emmet said." he answered, cryptically.

Having thoroughly wrecked the teenager's attempts at vampiric creepiness, the human ambled down the remaining stairs and sat down next to her on the couch, which had been dragged across the room to face the wall House had been using to write theories on in lieu of a dry erase board.

"Breaking the case open for me?" House asked,

"Someone has to."

"Touché."

The pair sat in silence for awhile and House's mind drifted back to the insane nightmare that had been buzzing through his head earlier. The only thing that made since about was the psychotic rage filling Cuddy's voice. By now the hospital administrator's mind must be equal parts worry and rage as since the vampires had snatched him away to…wherever the this was. He was still unclear about the exact location of the vampires mansion, other than it was someplace that was as green as it was rainy. Since than, she'd had no contact with him directly, and no one else had any more idea where he was than he did.

All in all, Cuddy was probably frantic.

House smiled.

Unfortunately for her, Bella was about to find out just how perturbed Cuddy really was.

The young vampire had made her way to Seattle after the Olympic Coven had scattered to find the extensive list of pharmaceuticals and equipment their domineering human hostage had come up with to treat Alice. She was planning to go through House's room and collect some clothes and personal effects, hoping that maybe the familiar objects might help the human relax a little bit around her family, having just found out just how (understandably) afraid of them, he really was.

What she had found, after following the faded traces of his Vicodin laced scent back to his room and opening the door with a master key she'd talked a bellhop out of with almost frightening ease, was a haggard, angry woman sitting on the cheap lounge chair by the window.

"And just who the hell are you?" Cuddy demanded

Bella's eyes widened as the hospital administrator got to her feet and stormed in her direction, a feeling of indignant rage so evident on her face and in her posture that it was almost a visible aura. Without bothering to wait for Bella's answer, Cuddy continued on,

"You'd better have a very good reason for having a key to this room. In fact, you'd better have a damn good one."

"I know the man who's staying here…" if anything, Cuddy looked even angrier, and, for a moment, Bella could have sworn she saw a flicker of jealousy flash across her face.

"Oh you do, do you? And do you know where he is?"

"Maybe. What does it matter to you?" the vampire demanded, getting over her initial shock and gaining some of her confidence back,

"It matters to me because that bastard has made me look like a complete moron, skipped out on his obligations, and…"

"Having known Dr. House for all of a day and a half, I can honestly wonder why his doing all of that surprises you."

Cuddy sputtered to a halt.

"Now, I'm here to collect a few of his things to make his stay with my family a bit easier, so please…stay out of my way." the vampire growled, otherworldly menace filling her voice.

The hospital administrator promptly regained her backbone, anger filling her at being dismissed by what appeared to be no more than a teenage girl.

"You little..."

"Sit. Down." Bella snapped, hardly recognizing her own voice. This was the second time in two days she'd found a new and frightening part of her own psyche, one that lurked below the surface, waiting to leap out and assert it's dominance over weaker creatures. Her change had definitely altered more than just her body.

Cuddy promptly doubled back, not liking something she saw in the teenagers golden eyes, which had frightening, feral look to them now.

Ignoring the human, and her own conflicted feelings, Bella gathered a few items of clothing and tossed them in the small gym bag she'd brought with her from Forks.

Satisfied, she turned to leave.

"Wait." Cuddy abruptly demanded, before grabbing House's PSP carrying case, wallet and cell phone.

She handed the first two items to Bella, who tucked them into the bag without a word.

Cuddy held the phone up before she gave it to the young vampire, however.

"If he's not being held…against his will, you wouldn't mind if he gets this back, would you?"

Bella blinked, seeing how much it hurt the older woman to ask for anything, rather than order.

"Of course not."

"I'll call it in a few hours, he'd better answer. If he doesn't, I'm telling the police."

"Fine."

Bella turned to leave, but stopped in the doorframe.

"He really is a good person, under everything else he is."

"What?"

"House, I mean. I can tell you like him."

Bella left without another word, darting back down the hallway before Cuddy thought about following her.

She was just over halfway back to when her phone began to ring.

Bella was expecting Edward to call, so when she found Jacob on the other end, it came as a bit of a surprise.

"Bella! Where are you?" The panic in Jacobs voice brought the young vampire to a halt.

"Jake? What's wrong?" Her mind raced through the short list of things that could make Jacob panic, and she quickly came up with a worst case scenario.

"Is Nessie okay?" She demanded,

"What? No she's fine…" there were sounds in the background; shouts, canine yips, and a constant series of dull explosions, "But you need to get yourself to La Push. Just of the main road after you get in you'll see…oh shit, Bella, gotta go!"

The line went dead.

Bella pulled off the highway as she crossed into the wolves' territory, the gravel road shifting under the weight of the Volvo as it coasted to a stop; up ahead, she saw a pick-up truck skewed across the shoulder and into the ditch, the front end facing the wrong direction, back towards the westbound lane.

The body was twisted out of shape, dented and battered, while red smears decorated the hood and long, rough gouges ran down the driver's side door.

Claw marks.

It was clear that the wolves had been trying to get at whoever was driving, and that someone had seemed to object to the prospect.

The windshield was a mass of spider-web cracks, shattered glass and ragged, round holes.

Some distant memory of an awful action movie she had watched rose unbidden to her mind, as she recognized what the oddly linear series of holes were.

Bullet holes.

Taking a single deep, unnecessary breath, the vampire looked both directions on the highway to ensure she was alone, and stepped out of the car.

Though she could have crossed the ground separating her from the wrecked truck in a instant, some internal voice urged caution. She inhaled deeply, catching the soft smells of the forest; trees, moss, wet foliage; the sharper tangy scent of blood, both from the humans who had driven past this section of the highway, and of the animals that dwelled around it. She also caught the wet dog reek of the Quileute wolves, and something else; vampire. The sweet smell of her kind, but somehow different,not quite…right.

As Bella started to move closer to wrecked truck, the scent of wolf and vampire grew stronger with each step she took; eventually the stink was burning her nostrils so strongly she had to cover her mouth.

It smelled like every wolf in the both the packs had passed through here.

Looking down at the ground on the side of the gravel shoulder, Bella realized that was quite literally true; the grass was trampled down in dozens of crisscrossing paths, a heavy paw print was pressed into a nearby patch of mud. Following one of the trails with her eyes, Bella could see where trees and bushes at the forests edge had been snapped and broken by passing wolves. She gazed across the forest, measuring the distance and direction of the packs' movement from where they had crashed into the greenery.

The patches of broken shrubbery formed a rough line, with more heavily trampled areas on the left and right sides then in the middle.

The vampire recognized the pattern; it was one she and her family often used when they were hunting as a group. Using the center party to chase and panic the quarry, the flankers tried to get ahead of it and cut off its escape. Despite being far closer to the Quileute's than whatever unknown vampire they'd been chasing, Bella shivered at the thought of anyone being pursued in such a manner. But what could the wolves have been hunting that would require so many of them?

Jacob's call had been hasty, but he'd been very clear; there was only one vampire.

How could one vampire be so dangerous that they would require the whole of the Quileute clan to chase them down?

Still moving with caution, Bella reached the pick up truck. The not quite vampire scent was even clearer here, concentrated near the smashed cab of the truck.

Bella inhaled sharply when she caught another scent, one Charlie smelled like when he came home from hunting.

Burnt sulpher.

Cordite.

Metal.

Gunfire.

Bella stepped on something hard and unyielding, and she looked down to find a brass shell casing. Looking around she realized that it was far from alone. Scattered around the gravel were fully two dozen or so more, long and slim, shining slightly in the dim light coming from the clouds overhead.

From the woods came a sudden eruption of noise, probably from some distance away, but Bella's heightened sense of hearing made it sound like it was just inside the tree line.

A long, staccato burst of sound, like popcorn popping turned up to eleven; a noise that had no natural place in the Washington forests.

She recognized the sound from the same half-remembered movies, TV shows and news reports that had helped her identify the bullet holes smashed into the trucks windshield.

Flinching away from the deep boom of gunfire, Bella spotted a dark, human shape pressed against the smashed vehicle and the vampire jumped when she found she was not alone.

"Get back here Bells!" Seth hissed urgently.

Throwing caution to the wind, Bella moved at her full inhuman speed as he threw herself behind cover with the young werewolf.

"What's going on Seth?" Bella demanded, crouching next to him behind the twisted ruin of the trucks bed and keeping her eyes on the wood line.

"Crazy vampire with a lot of guns." he answered, matter-of-factly.

Bella looked at him like he was insane; the vampire had the guns?

The surprise must of have been obvious on her face, because Seth saw the unasked question even though it was shown with typical vampire subtlety.

"I think it was a surprise for Sam's pack, too."

"Where'd he go?" Bella asked,

"Woods, I guess. Kind of went blank there for awhile."

"What do you…" Bella started to ask, just as she finally spotted the spreading pool of blood around the young wolfs feet. "Seth! Seth what happened?" She demanded, Moving to his side so quickly that he flinched involuntarily when she appeared next to him.

"Got shot." Seth said, laconic as before, but with a pained undertone that Bella had been too distracted too notice. Now that he had her full attention, she could she that he had one hand clasped on his side, and a thick rivulet of blood was oozing down his bare flank and dripping to the ground.

"Oh my god, Seth!" Bella shouted, panic in her voice, "Why didn't you say anything?"

Seth smiled wanly,

"Was wondering how long it would take you to notice," he whispered, before sliding back against the side of the truck.