Everything Is Different Now
Chapter 19
May 7, 2013
Frederick Estate, Boulder, Colorado
4 A.M.
"Baby? Are you awake? Laura?"
"Hmmm? Yeah, I'm here. Mmmm. What's wrong babe?"
"I can't sleep. Talk to me?"
"Okay hon. What do ya wanna talk about?"
"I don't know. Anything. Just talk to me."
"Okay, how are you feeling since yesterday morning's experience?"
"You sweet thing. You're such a psychiatrist. Anyway, I think my cage is rattled. How about you?"
"I guess I'm okay. It went better than I expected. Why is your cage rattled?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's just because it's been so long and they still found me."
"Wait a minute. That doesn't sound like the Jacob I know and love. What's bothering you?"
"They found me too easily. I don't like it."
"Well, I didn't like it either but there's nothing we can do about it now. C'mon. Tell me what's rolling
around in that head of yours."
"If they found me, anyone can. And they can get to you that way. I can't keep you safe if the evil in
my past is going to find me that easily. I can't protect you like this."
"Jacob, baby, you don't need to worry about that. You're not alone here you know? You're not the
only 'protector' on the premises."
"Yeah, I need to ask you about that. What did you mean when you told the Cullens that Barney and
Willikins could remove them from the property?"
"What do you mean, Jacob?"
"Laura, don't you think now would be a good time to start including me in your family here in
Colorado?"
"I don't understand. Of course you're part of my family here, and anywhere else for that matter. I
was just working on figuring out how to say it so it didn't sound like I was trying to diminish your
importance to me."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"See? I didn't want you to become resentful. This is what I was worried about."
"What Laura? Tell me."
"I've only known that Barney and Phillip are both shape shifters for about a day longer than you've
known, and that's only slightly less time than I've known what you were."
"What the...?!"
"THIS is what I was concerned about. This is a very new world for me Jacob. I actually found out
about Barney and Phillip AFTER I met your wolf. I'm still learning how to behave with them and for
that matter you too. But I didn't want you to 'freak out' as you often put it."
"Okay, I'm breathing deeply. I'm not freaking out. You've just learned that Barney and Phillip are
shape shifters?"
"Yes, just before you were told."
"Okay, I have a new list of questions now."
"Go ahead. I'll tell you anything you want to know."
"You've really only known what they were a day longer than me? Where did they come from? Did
you have any hint of what I was before you came to see me in Portland? Has this whole shooting
match been a lie? Did you know what an imprint was before I told you? Did you know I had
imprinted on you? How did you know about me? How did you find me?"
"Whoa! Okay, Jacob, breathe, try to relax. I'll answer all your questions."
"I'm relaxed as I'm gonna get right now. Just start spilling Laura."
"Okay, okay. Umm...okay,...I've known there was something special and different about Barney and
Phillip since I was a very small child. I just didn't quite understand what that was. They are both
from the United Kingdom, Barney is from Scotland and Phillip is from England. They were with my
parents for many years before I was adopted before I was even born. They were my heroes when I
was a little girl. I thought they were Superman and Spidey. I never had any idea that they were
anything other than sweet, kind, loving individuals who treated me as if I was their own family, but
they always made me feel safe and I always felt they were special people. When I was...,
widowed,...and left alone,...they took care of me when there was nobody else. They are just like you
Jacob. None of us, including me, knew what you were before I came to Portland. They didn't know
for sure until you showed me your wolf that first time a month ago. They had suspicions and hopes."
"Hopes?!"
"Yes, hopes. We had read of your case in an obscure medical journal. Phillip and Barney told me
what they searched for just a few days ago. Articles like that are what my parents were always on the
lookout for in their research, so they could help.
"Help? Help who?"
"Shape shifters that had become trapped. I've learned it happens more than you'd believe, Jacob. I
never had any clue about it, but my mother and father spent most of their adult lives searching for
your kind that had been trapped in some way, freeing them and trying to help them in other ways.
But I was a child; I had no idea what their life's work was."
"What other ways did they 'help'?"
"Relocation. Job searches. Financial assistance."
"Oh my God! Is this how you know the Volturi?"
"I don't know the Volturi. I only know of their existence. And I think it's a good thing that I had
learned of them. It came in handy and carried some weight with the Cullens."
"Yeah, I saw that first hand! What about the rest, Laura. Is what's between us real? Are you really
mine, or is this all an illusion?"
"Jacob! How could you ask me that? No, this isn't an illusion. Jacob, my parents never shared with
their young daughter what they were doing. I thought Daddy was an investment banker and Mother
was an artist and a charity benefactor. I'd never heard of a shape shifter until a few days before I
learned that's what you were. I'd never heard the term 'imprint' until you explained it to me.
Neither Barney nor Phillip had ever heard of anything like that. Jacob, are we on shaky ground? If
you have that kind of doubts about my love for you, maybe we should back off and re-evaluate our
relationship."
"Maybe we should! How can I trust you now? What is the truth and what's a sidestep?"
"A sidestep?! God! Do you really mean that?! You have no faith that the love I've shown you is real?
Wasn't it you who asked me to have faith that you were what you claimed to be? You don't even
believe that your wolf knew what he was doing when he marked me do you? Oh Jacob! I can't
believe...I just can't. Oh,... you must excuse me."
"Laura! Wait! That's not what I meant! Where are you going? Laura! Stop!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EIDN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
May 7, 2013
7 A.M.
"Willikins! Are you up man?"
"Yes Master Jacob. I am up. What seems to be the trouble?"
"Laura's gone."
"Gone Sir?"
"She's walked out on me. Look, I don't have time to explain this. We had...an argument. And she
took off. You have to help me find her."
"I see. What exactly did you say to her Sir?"
"Aw, Phillip, don't make me go into the details, okay?!"
"I'm sorry to be demanding Sir, but,...what did you say to her?"
"Okay, dammit! I got bent out of shape about when you all knew what I was, and I questioned..."
"You questioned...what Sir?"
"I questioned her sincerity, okay! I know! It was possibly the most idiotic and foolish and stupid
thing I've ever done in my whole worthless life! I'm sorry! Just,...help me find her Phillip! I'll
apologize to you and Barney later, face to face like you deserve, I promise. Just please help me. I
can't lose her!"
I'll get Barney and we'll find her Sir."
"I'm going with you!"
"No Sir."
"No? Whaddaya mean 'No'?"
"I mean, no, Sir, you may not accompany us. Barney and I will not require your services in the
search."
"Willikins! I have to go with you! You don't understand!"
"I believe I understand only too well Sir. Unless I miss my guess, you have decided to question my
mistress's love and loyalty to you. There is no other reason whatsoever that she would leave
you. I know love when I see it Sir. You have decided not to accept her words as truth, for whatever
misguided reasons, and you have accused her of concealing things from you. Sir, you are my Alpha
and it is not my place to tell you this, but I shall at any rate, consequences be damned. My mistress
was completely in the dark about our world until a few days ago. I imagine she had suspicions, but
she had never been told anything. I personally think she's handled the whole situation amazingly
well considering what a monumental pile of information it can be. You've assumed otherwise, have
you not? My mistress has apparently been hurt, severely enough to want to run away, by YOU, only
the gods know how and why you did this and I will NOT allow YOU to accompany us in searching for
her. That would, I think, be the last thing she needs. You will please remain here in the villa. Forgive
me Alpha, but I cannot allow any other way."
"Sonofa...okay...I'll give you 12 hours and then I dive in. Am I clear?"
"Quite Sir. If we have not found her in that time span, I would be loath to continue the search
without official assistance. The temperatures are not fully tolerable this early in the season."
"You mean you'd call in outside help?"
"Yes Sir. I would be required by law to do that. The mountains of Colorado are not to be trifled with
Sir."
"Okay Willikins. Umm...Phillip?"
"Yes Master Jacob?"
"Please...find her."
"We shall Alpha."
11 A.M.
"Marie? Have you seen her? Have you heard from the guys?"
"No Bebe, I haven't. Won't you tell me what happened?"
"Oh Marie, I don't know what happened exactly. The only thing I know for sure is I was an idiot. I
said things to Laura that should have never even come into my brain, much less made it out of my
mouth."
"Oh Jacob, my dear boy, I know what has happened. I saw the possibility of this. Laura was clueless
before she fell in love with you. You must believe that. She knew nothing about Barney and Phillip's
identities, nor did she understand what her parents were so deeply involved in. She may have had
suspicions, or guesses, but she didn't know! Think about it my sweet boy. Laura would never dream
of misleading you, right? She would never consider being less than totally truthful to anyone, much
less with you, to be an option, right? Jacob. My son. She loves you. She needs you. She can no
more live without you than you can live without her."
"Marie! Mama! God, help me! I can't stand this! Where would she go? She's still in her nightgown
for chrissakes! And barefoot! She slipped out so fast and disappeared down the hall and then she
was just gone! How did she get away from me so fast?"
"I don't know Jacob, it sounds as though she took the escape passage. It's a hidden panel in the
corridor next to the entrance to the library. It leads straight out under all of the buildings and ends
deep in the woods beyond the Blue Cliffs. There are many places she might find comfort if she wants
to be alone or just to cool off, calm down. I'm not sure if she would go to one of those or somewhere
new to try and lose herself. I'm sure Barney and Phillip can find her."
"Are you sure? Shouldn't I be searching as well? Why can't I go look for her too?"
"Oh Bebe, you must know that if she has turned away from you, then you cannot find her. Even if
you knew where to look, she will not be found if she does not want to be."
"Marie! I can't just sit here! I have to look for her. What if something's happened to her? What if
she's injured? I can't live without her! "
"Are you sure Jacob?"
"Of course I'm sure! What are you getting at Marie?"
"You must understand Master Jacob, Laura has never trusted that many people. She was abandoned
as a baby, I know she doesn't remember that but she knows the truth of what happened. Then, the
Prince was a good friend to her, but he was a little older and she trusted him with her whole heart.
She gave it to him freely and completely. Then he left her. It wasn't his intention, but she was still
left alone in the world, a widow at the tender age of 19. Did she tell you that her parents died just 3
weeks after her husband?"
"Oh God! No she didn't tell me how her parents died or anything."
"They were killed together in an automobile crash in Spain. They were on their way to the airport to
come home to see Laura for the first time after her Pierre had been killed. She was devastated you
understand. Barney, Phillip and I were the ones that took care of her. She was incapacitated for a
time as you may guess. We brought her back here and watched over her. Jacob, my Laura does not
ask for love, but she longs for it, yearns for it. And she had been denied that kind of love and
compassion, until you came to us."
"Oh Marie! What have I done?"
"Don't worry Jacob. She is much stronger today than she was then. Barney and Phillip will find her
and bring her home to you. Then your job will begin."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EIDN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 P.M.
JPOV
"Marie, when Barney and Phillip come in from their search, if they come in tonight, tell them I've
gone to the clearing by the waterfall. They'll know where I mean won't they?"
"Yes, Jacob, they'll know where that is. There're only 3 waterfalls on the property and only 1 is next
to a clearing. Do you think she is there?"
"I don't know. I feel a pull to that place. It's hard to explain. I have to go look. If I stay here any
longer, not doing anything but waiting, I'll go insane. I'll see you soon okay?"
"Shouldn't you eat something first? You've not taken in a morsel all day."
"I couldn't if I tried Marie. I'm sorry ma chère."
"I understand bébé."
I walked out through the gardens and past the koi pond and the horse barn. I couldn't stay in that
house any longer without my mate by my side. How big a fool could I possibly be? I was pissed at
Barney and Phillip when they refused to let me come with them to look for Laura, but I understood
why they wouldn't allow it. Of course they wouldn't want me to be the one to find her. I was the one
who'd made her bolt in the first place. What was I thinking? I wasn't thinking. That was the bottom
line.
I just wasn't expecting all the revelations she handed me all at once. I never dreamed that she knew I
was a shifter or that it had anything to do with why she came to see me in Portland. But she didn't
know I was a shifter in the beginning. The others had only 'hoped' she said. She knew nothing.
They were only trying to help me. And they did. And blowing up at her about the imprint was
completely wrong. There was no possible way she could have known I'd imprint on her, even if she
had known what an imprint was. She was blindsided by the imprint just like I was. And then I
blindsided her! Good God, what an imbecile I am! No wonder she needed time to herself to think.
She would have every right to storm back into the house and show me the door.
My wolf had been extremely quiet lately since he was so supremely contented. But now...well,...
now, he was agitated and furious beyond belief and clawing at me from the inside out to get my ass
out there and find our girl. Our broken-hearted girl. The imprint was telling both of us that she was
broken. We/I could feel it. It was a dull but all-encompassing ache radiating out from my heart. I
was close to incapacitated from the force of it. But it was different from the pain from 'before'. This
was not as sharp, but it was deeper. It was as if my heart was missing part of itself and was trying to
function with only 3 of its chambers or something. It felt like my blood wasn't pumping properly. It
felt as if I had to find her soon or I'd be too weak to search for her.
I waited until I got into the darkness beyond the edge of the back gardens before I stripped and
phased. I immediately began running at top speed for the clearing where I first revealed my wolf to
Laura. I don't know why I wanted to be there, but something inside me was pulling me there. I knew
well that Barney and Phillip had already searched the immediate grounds and the next layer of the
estate out. This included the clearing, and now they were venturing into the wilderness area on the
edges of Laura's property. There were 467 acres Marie told me. God! That was too much territory
for two wolves to cover alone but they had made it plain that I was not welcome to join them in their
search. I can't say that I blamed them. I was still the new kid on the block. And I had hurt their
mistress. On purpose. Please God, give me a chance to apologize and make it up to her. If that was
even possible.
I reached the clearing within minutes and ran a perimeter. I could smell her. She had been here.
Recently. Or was it just her scent remaining in my mind that I was recalling? No, I was sure of it.
She had been here. I wasn't surprised that she had come here in an effort to put distance between us
and get some alone time. It was the sight of some of our happiest times and the spot where we first
connected as wolf and imprint. My heart clenched painfully as I thought back to that night.
"Laura! Please come back! I'm sorry! I love you!"
(Barney and Willikins heard this anguished cry from Jacob and his Wolf. They looked at one another
to confirm what they each heard. The connection had been activated. Their Alpha was out in the
land. He would know soon.)
Her scent was not weak in the clearing, but it wasn't strong either. It seemed as if maybe she'd come
here first and then moved on. I realized it was because she couldn't find solace here, only pain. What
would I do if she didn't come back? What would I do if something happened to her out here in the
dark, all alone? What would I do without her? The heartbreak cascading over me wrenched out an
agonized howl that echoed off the canyon walls. I staggered and fell next to the stream at the foot of
the falls, my strength sapped by my fear and longing. I could only lie on my side, panting in pain,
ready to give up. I flopped my head over to the stream to gather a mouthful of the sustaining liquid.
And then, I tasted her. At first, I thought my fear and heartbreak were causing a hallucination. I'd
already rounded the clearing. She wasn't here. But the taste was there. Unmistakable. It was my
Laura! It was her! I stumbled to my feet, nose working overtime trying to pinpoint what it was
detecting. It was in the water. Oh God, no! What if she'd fallen into the water? What if she'd
drowned? No! That wasn't possible! I would know! My heart would know.
The water! The scent was in the water, but it was moving! Yes, dammit, wolves could taste scents in
moving water. And Laura was there! At the bottom of the falls! No! She wasn't here! I jerked my
head up to look to the summit of the cascade. She was up there! I leapt over the stream and began
digging my claws deeply into the loam, dragging myself up the slope. I reached the top of the hill,
where the spring gushed out of an outcropping of huge boulders, creating the waterfall. I scoured the
banks on both sides. No! Not here! She hadn't come up here.
I lunged into the torrent and let it drag me over the precipice and down into the pool below. My will
and my body were almost ready to give out. But my wolf reared up and kicked me in the ass.
"Have you lost your mind? You can't give up! You can't stop until you've found her! You know we
can't survive without her!"
"Don't you think I know that? What else do you want me to do?"
"Keep looking, dumbass! You know, I haven't shared this with you, but there's another aspect to
this imprint thing that you don't know about."
"Yeah? Well, now's a hell of a time! What don't I know?"
"A second, 'corrected' imprint like this? If you don't stay with her, you won't just feel like you're
dying. You probably will."
"Probably will what?"
"Die. She really is the one you are supposed to be with, to have and to hold. You need
her to survive, not just to be happy and fulfilled. This isn't rainbows and unicorns.
This is tomorrow's waking up versus the Grim Reaper. She'll be feeling it too. Just
thought you should know."
"Okay, then. Since this is a matter of life and death, howsabout you chip in with your supernatural
senses and tell me where she is?"
"God! Do I have to do everything? Okay, okay! There's a cave. Behind the falls. I think I can sense
her. Check it out, okay?"
"Finally a little help from the freakin' peanut gallery!"
I dragged myself to my feet in the middle of the stream. The water here was warmer than it ought to
be. I fought my way upstream to the place where the cascade merged with the bedrock at the foot of
the falls. Then I pushed my way through the curtain of water into the cave that was indeed concealed
behind the falls.
And there she was! She was lying on her side huddled against one of the sheer rock walls of the cave.
She didn't appear to be conscious. Her gown was soaked through and her skin was too pale. I ran to
her, phasing back to my human form as I reached her.
"Laura! Baby! Oh Honey! I'm so sorry. Honey! Please don't leave me! Laura!"
I gathered her into my arms and stood, turning to carry her back through the falls and back to safety.
Her body was rigid with cold and she was unresponsive to my pleas. There wasn't time to get her
back to the house! She was too cold! Laura! Please! Don't leave me!
Then I remembered:
There was a hot springs in the back of this cave! She told me about it days ago on one of our wolf-
back excursions. She rode on my shoulders as I wolfed it across the estate, she clutched tightly to
handfuls of my fur. The tiny bit of pain was exhilarating! My beautiful girl was pulling my fur but
she was clinging tightly to my withers with her knees! I was delirious with happiness!
"Jacob! Stop over here by the water. You can get a drink."
As I lapped up the cool liquid, she told me of the source of the stream.
"You know there's a hot springs behind this falls. It's in a cave behind the curtain of
the water and joins with the water that plunges over the cliff. That's why there's a
tiny bit of steam from this stream below. It's the warm water mixing with the cold
that flows over from above."
I turned with Laura in my arms. My lady's lips were blue and her limp form was pulling my heart
from its moorings in its anguish. As I moved further into the depths of the cavern, the steam
thickened until I could barely see the rock floor I walked upon. Finally, when I thought I would go
insane from the growing panic at the thought of losing my life's love, I stumbled to my knees, still
clutching her to my chest, and focused on the steaming pool bubbling through the earth's crust in
front of me. I rolled to one hip and shoved myself off of the edge into the hot tub Mother Nature had
provided.
Clutching Laura to my chest, I found a ledge with my feet and cuddled her close while dipping low
into the warm flow. Her head lolled loosely on my shoulder and I rubbed my cheek against hers
before kissing her mouth with my own pleading lips. There was no response from my lady.
"Laura, please honey. Don't leave me. I can't go on without you. You know that you're my whole
world. You have to stay with me, please God, stay with me. I'm so very sorry honey. Please don't go.
I love you, baby. Please, come back to me!"
Her creamy, silky skin was so cold! Why did I let her slip away from me?! How could I bring her
back to me? I used one hand to dribble scoops of the heated water over her shoulders and her chest.
I kissed her mouth with my warm lips. I caressed her cheek with my overheated hand. I smoothed
my hands full of warm, steamy water over her golden strands of hair. Finally, I poured hot tears from
my own eyes over her face begging her not to abandon me now when I needed her most, crying my
apologies and my sorrow for doubting her. I lifted one of her lifeless arms and draped it over my
shoulder, encouraging her to embrace me.
Finally, after what seemed like hours, when I was certain I had drawn my last breath along with my
soulmate, her arm tightened ever so slightly around my neck. A soft murmur came from below my
chin where I cradled her head against me. At first, it was only a sigh, a moan. Then there was a
squeak of pain following a gasp of air being sucked into ragged lungs. I clutched her body to my chest
and breathed in her scent as her blood began to circulate more rapidly. There was just a tiny bit of
color coming into her cheeks. She was still here with me! Oh God! Taha Aki! Thank you. Thank
you.
"J-Jacob?"
"I'm here baby. I've got you. I'm here. "
"I c-couldn't leave you. But I c-couldn't get b-back to you. I was t-too c-cold."
"I know honey. I know. You're alright now."
"I couldn't leave you. I need you. I'm so sorry, Jacob."
"Oh Laura, you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one who's sorry. I'm so sorry honey. I will
never doubt you again. I swear. Please believe me. I love you angel."
"I love you too Jacob, I love you too."
As I cradled my imprint close to my body, the steam drifting through the cave began to glow eerily.
The spectral light flowed in pinks, blues and greens as it filled the cavern and cascaded down onto my
love and me where I still embraced her in the warmth of the spring. The colors swirled around us
and began to coalesce, thickening until we were blanketed in a gold and silver and multicolored
bubble of the mist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~EIDN~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mother Earth has recognized the rising of THE ALPHA and has blessed his union with his mate.
Their destiny is taking shape quickly and is charging headlong into their peaceful cocoon of love.
Their challenges are only just beginning.