QUICK NOTICE TO EVERYONE READING: tomorrow i'm going on holiday for 4 days, and i'm going to have internet connection, so i will still be able to add, though i'm not sure when. then on Monday i'm going back to school (nooooo) so updates will be at around 4ish GMT, instead of being really early like they have been over the holiday!
xxPUDDxx - thank you! i'm really happy that i got it right in your opinion! and yeah, once i start a fic, i refuse to give it less than 100% of my efforts (even when that includes pushing school aside to get this right instead) *hugs back* this is the fic i've been most proud of, and i'm so glad you love it as much as you do! :D
508 Harrys POV
Danny decided soon after that it was time to get Tom into the safety of their bed, picking him up and taking him upstairs. "is there anything we can do to find something that will help Tom stop freaking out?" Dougie asked as Danny left the room, Tom cradled in his long arms. "I don't think so. I think we've just got to wait it out, I think." I shrugged, I had no idea what Tom was going to do when it came to meal time, I could only hope it was a phase that he would get out of after this week. Like he did with his itching leg, I hoped he would, seeing Tom refuse to eat like that, it killed me, who knew what it was doing to poor Danny who was struggling with him every minute of the day. "well...guys, we could up Toms medication a little." Carrie suddenly piped up, looking up from her laptop. "is that safe?" Dougie asked, turning round to her, looking a little confused. "well, yeah. Cause when that shrink doctor gave me the medication in the first place, he said that if Tom did start to go like this, then to give him two pills instead of one each time." Carrie explained, showing us a small article on the subject, saying that there was evidence that giving more than one pill had helped others calm down and keep a little more mellow.
"that could help... I'll go tell Danny, it might give him a little bit of peace." I got up and took Dougie with me, sure that if he saw Tom tucked up sleeping would help him from worrying. "hey, Dan, there's something we've found something that might help Tom out." I peaked my head round the door frame, checking that Tom was asleep first. "really? Whats that then?" Danny asked, continuing to pull off his jeans and change his tshirt into a baggier one, clearly getting ready for bed himself. So, I explained to him the idea, seeing him relax a bit as we explained it to him.
"well, that doesn't sound too bad, but I don't want to over medicate him, you know? Or make him realise what he's taking, it wouldn't be a good idea at all I don't think." Danny sighed, sitting back down on the bed, rubbing Toms arms. "yeah, but, its worth a try though, to get him a little calmer. So he eats and stuff, right?" I reasoned. "yeah, maybe. They might help...we'll give it a try, tomorrow, we'll try it out tomorrow, see what happens. But we'll reduce it again if it doesn't work." Danny agreed after a few minutes, slowly laying down, tucking himself in behind Toms sleeping form. "yeah, of course we will. Its just a thought, to see if it works out." I smiled, glad we had thought of something that would hopefully help Tom get better.
"can I get in?" Dougie asked suddenly, looking between me and Danny hopefully, like he actually thought one of us would object. "sure Dougs...how about you give Tom a cuddle while me and Harry talk about this medication thing a little more?" Danny sat back up, letting Dougie replace him on the bed, the little one obviously needing this hug to calm himself down and tell himself that everything was alright, while I led Danny a little way down the corridor, so both of our other halves couldn't hear us. I could tell that Danny wanted to say something, something he wasn't sure about, that he didn't even want to think of.
"Harry, what would you say to me if I said that I don't know if I can handle Tom anymore?" Danny asked after a long pause, his face downcast to his bare feet. I was shocked at first, I hadn't expected Danny to say something like that, he didn't give up on anything that easily, especially when it involved Tom. He never gave up on Tom, ever. "then thats down to how you feel. If you feel like your struggling, we'll come in and help out a bit more, to give you a bit of a break. Its got to be tough to do everything you do for Tom, and we're more than happy to help out when you need it." I managed to answer, realising how much Danny did for Tom on a daily basis. He made all of his meals, fed him his meals, bathed him, clothed him, entertained him, calmed him, did basically everything, while me and Dougie just sat there and let him do it. "thanks, but, not like that. I mean, what if I couldn't handle, well, everything? And if anything got any worse... then I wouldn't be able to handle it, and I thought that maybe Tom needed to be looked after by," Danny gulped and wiped his eyes, he looked so pained by this, like he couldn't believe he was saying it. "someone who knows how to look after people like Tom?" I finished for him, bringing him into my arms as Dannys body started to shake.
He nodded into my shoulder, crying starting up again, the poor guy was feeling so guilty for even thinking about it. But, I guess he was right. Tom wasn't exactly the easiest person to look after, he was before his last hospital check up, and before he went for a midnight walk, but not now, not when he suddenly turned from being the quietest little guy into a crying mess within minutes, unable to even dress himself anymore. I wouldn't have blamed Danny at all if he wanted to get Tom some proper help, because it was a bit obvious that we couldn't really do anything with him by ourselves to get him better, we needed someone who knew how to handle people like Tom. "we'll see what happens over the next few days, as we've upped the medication, and we'll go from there. Nothing is certain, alright?" I whispered, trying to calm him down just a little bit.
509 Dougies POV
I must have dozed off for a while, because the next thing I knew was Harry shaking me a little, whispering something I couldn't quite understand. "ugh, what?" I groaned, turning over to look up at my husband and Danny, the poor guy was shaking and in tears, scratching at his arm, "whats happened?!" I sat up straight upright, scared over what the hell had happened. Tom was still sleeping, why was Danny crying and looking so scared? "Doug, there's something we need to explain to you, come with me a minute." Harry pulled me up, taking me outside as Danny scrambled back into bed, holding onto Toms tiny body, whimpering that he was sorry over and over.
Harry took me downstairs, and explained to me what him and Danny had been talking about. "s-so we're sending him away?" I whimpered, feeling my heart break. I didn't like Doctor Tennant, he made Tom worse! I didn't want him to be sent to him! He would destroy Tom! "no, no, of course not! We're seeing how Tom goes when we give him 2 pills instead of one, and go from there. I'm just saying, that this may be something we'll have to think about, if it doesn't help, or if Tom gets any worse. I'm sorry Doug, I don't want this either, but it might be for the best." Harry explained, squeezing me as my heart shattered. "b-but we can't send him away! They'll destroy him!" I cried, how many times had we been to the hospital and had come out with Tom even worse than before? Surely it couldn't be a good idea to send Tom to place like that permanently?!
"I didn't say we were sending Tom away Dougs, maybe he could just see someone a couple of days a week and come home with us. I don't know how this will work, but we'll sort something out. And wont it make everything better in the end? We'll get Tom the best help we can, and then he'll be Tom, our Tom. The Tom we've known since he was 18 years old, don't you want that?" Harry wiped my tears, I nodded slightly, but I still couldn't get over it. We were actually thinking of sending Tom away, I knew it was for the best, but it still scared me. To know that we were slowly losing control of him, that we could possibly be making him worse, it was horrible. Every other problem we had had we had sorted between ourselves, or with our management, how couldn't we sort this out?
"I'm so sorry Doug, I'm so sorry. But, I just want to prepare you for it, if it happens, alright? It might not happen, you never know. We could calm him down with those pills and get him to see someone a few times a week, so we'll still have him with us! That'll be good, wont it?" Harry reasoned, stroking my hair until I calmed a little, before letting me go upstairs to Tom and Danny, crawling into bed with them. I didn't want to let Tom go, ever, I didn't want him to leave us, he couldn't leave us!
I had to force myself to calm down when Tom half woke up hours later, because he didn't know, he didn't understand what was happening. "hey Tom, feel like waking up?" I asked quietly, hugging him close. "no more, no more!" Tom whimpered, his head twitching like he was in a nightmare. "shhh, its okay, you've been asleep Tom, nothings here." I whispered, squeezing him. He went quiet again, and his arm fell over my shoulder, making me feel a little better. Then, Tom snored, quite loudly, signalling he was asleep again, probably had never even woken up, that he had just been talking in his sleep. And finally, I let myself relax, because I could feel the hands of the people I loved the most, and maybe, just maybe, if we could cuddle like this, we wouldn't end up having to send Tom away somewhere. Maybe, he could stay here, in our arms, forever, where he was supposed to be.