The first thing she became aware of was the pain. Hot spikes of agony ripped through her chest. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. The second thing she became aware of was some sort of beeping sound on her left side. I'm in the hospital, she thought groggily. What the hell happened?

She then became aware of the hand that had a tight grip on her fingers. Castle?

When she finally managed to fight through the pain and confusion, she opened her eyes and saw him sitting in a chair beside her, bags underneath his eyes and tear tracks still apparent on his cheeks.

"Rick," she murmured.

His head shot up as he looked at her, "Kate! Thank goodness." He reached a hand out and brushed a lock of her hair away from her face. He then pulled the hand back, clearly embarrassed by the intimate gesture.

"Wha…what happened?"

He gave her an odd look before he said, "You were shot at Montgomery's funeral. A sniper."

With his words the memories come flooding back. Standing giving a eulogy to her fallen captain. Castle calling out her name and tackling her to the ground then begging her to stay with him.

Kate I love you, I love you, Kate.

Her eyes widened as she remembered the words. Castle gave her a worried look when he noticed the heart monitor picking up on her increased heart rate. She looked away from him, his blue eyes too intense, too full of concern.

Over the last six months she had increasingly realized that she loved him. He was her best friend, the one person in her life she could trust more than anyone else. She hadn't wanted to take it any further though, for a couple reasons. First she was worried that he didn't feel the same and second she was worried that if it didn't work out that she'd lose the most important person in her life.

Now he'd said the words. Now it was out there and she couldn't just ignore it. Could she? Could she just write it off to heat of the moment? Did she want to? Her thoughts raced as she struggled to come up with something to say. Deciding she'd just let it go for now, she turned to look at him again.

"Do you need some more pain medication, Kate?" Castle asked as their eyes met again.

She nodded, grimacing at the reminder of the pain she was in. She'd been distracted by the memories, but she could feel the pounding pain radiating from the center of her chest, making every nerve in her body feel like it was on fire.

Castle picked up the call button and pressed it.

"Did they catch the sniper?" She asked while they waited for a nurse to come into her room.

"Not as far as I know. I talked to Ryan and Esposito, but they aren't on the case. They said the 19th precinct is handling it, and that your new captain wouldn't let them near it." Castle had met her two partners a few months previously when they had all went out to drinks. They hadn't hit it off, exactly, since Castle was very quiet around people he didn't trust, but they still knew of each other. It didn't surprise her that the boys weren't being allowed on the case.

Kate sighed. The sniper might have been another way they could have nailed Bracken.

"It's going to be okay, Kate," Castle said, obviously seeing her worry.

"You don't know that," she whispered, the pain really getting to her.

"I do. You will recover from this and you'll get back to work, and you'll take down that arrogant bastard. You're the strongest, most extraordinary person I've ever met. You'll do it."

He'd said it before, but she was still shocked at how sincere his voice was when he said things like that. How could she doubt that this man loved her when he could say such things and mean them?

Before she could say anything, a nurse came in, introduced herself and gave her another dose of pain medication. It wasn't long after that Kate started to drift off. Her last thoughts before sleep took her was that she needed to tell him how she felt. She loved him too.

xxxx

When she woke up next Castle was still sitting by her side. She squeezed his hand and he looked up to her face.

"Hey," she said softly, really needing a drink of water.

"Hey. Need anything?"

"Water would be great," she said.

He reached over to the bedside table and grabbed a small cup of water. He helped her take a sip and then sat the cup down on the table.

"Thanks."

He smiled. "How are you feeling, need more pain meds?"

"No I'm much better than before." He nodded. She did feel better. The pain wasn't as intense as it had been and she felt much more awake than she had been the first time she woke up.

"Castle?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

He looked at her, eyes widened with surprise. "You…you remember?"

"Yeah. Did you mean it?"

"Yes," he said confidently. "I love you, Kate. I know it's weird given how we met, but I do."

She smiled widely. Despite the circumstances she was happy that they had finally said the words. Sure, she had her doubts and her fears, but if the bullet wound in her chest taught her anything it was that she didn't have time to waste. She knew her mom would want her to be happy.

"So are we…together now," Castle asked tentatively.

"Yeah, I guess we are. But Rick," she said, pausing to gather her thoughts, "we need to go slow. Obviously I'm going to be out of commission for a while, and we both have emotional scars from the past nine years that are still healing. And it's going to be bumpy at times, but I want this. I want you."

"Any speed is fine with me Kate, as long as we're together. I love you."

"I love you too," she said, shocked at how much easier it was to say a second time.

xxxx

Three months later…

Her recovery had gone well, or at least as well as it could have. She and Castle had spent the entire three months up at her dad's cabin. At first she had wanted to go alone, even with their conversation in the hospital, but Castle had convinced her that she would need someone there, and her dad, still being an alcoholic, wouldn't be able to do it. She had reluctantly agreed.

He'd been there for her even when she didn't think she needed anyone, and she knew that after their conversation in the hospital, he wasn't going to leave her side easily. So she had let him come along, and she's really glad that she did. She couldn't have done it without him.

On their first day back in the city, they were dusting and airing out their apartment when there was a knock at the door. Scowling at the interruption, Kate made her way and checked the peephole. She didn't recognize the young woman on the other side, though she knew the eyes. The blue eyes.

"Rick," Kate said loudly so he could hear her from where he was dusting in the office area.

"Yeah?"

"There's someone here to see you," she said as she opened the door.

"Hi," Alexis Castle said nervously. "Is Rick Castle home?"

"Yeah," Kate said, smiling. She stepped aside to allow the young woman to enter. Alexis, at age 16, was a beautiful woman. She had striking red hair and her father's stunning blue eyes. Rick, over the last few months, had been trying to contact her, but her mother had kept getting in the way, not allowing Rick to have any contact with his daughter.

Kate knew that it had hit Rick hard that even though he was innocent he had lost his daughter.

"Alexis?!" Rick said as he entered the living room.

"Daddy?" Alexis said, tears now evident in her eyes. She rushed into her father's arms, squeezing tightly. Kate felt tears sting the corners of her own eyes as she made her way into the kitchen to give the pair some privacy.

xxxx

A couple hours later Alexis had left and Kate and Rick sat on their living room couch, Kate cuddled into his side, her head on his shoulder.

"So how is she?" Kate asked cautiously. She had for the most part stayed out of the way so that the father and daughter could spend some much needed time together.

"She's different than I remember," Rick said sadly. "She was always outgoing, even as a really small child. Her mom seems to have made her, I don't know, less of a people person. We always used to have these talks, just the two of us. We could talk about almost anything. Now it seemed like I had to scratch and claw for any sort of information. I don't know if that's her personality or if she just doesn't trust me anymore."

"I'm sorry, Rick."

He shook his head, then placed a kiss on her forehead. "Not your fault. It is what it is. I doubt we'll ever have the relationship we once had. Just knowing that she wants to stay in contact will be better than it has been. Maybe it'll make us closer as time goes on."

"How long is she in the city?"

"Just for today. Meredith is in town for an audition, but is taking Alexis right back to California. She had to sneak out because her mom still wouldn't let her come see me."

Kate sighed. "It's really unfair."

"Nothing can be done. I lost custody officially when I was convicted. It doesn't matter that I was innocent. I mean sure I could go fight for her again, but she seems happy enough with her mom. I don't…I'm not going to disrupt her life just so I can be a bigger part of her life. She deserves to be happy, even if it isn't with me, you know?"

"You must have been a terrific father."

"I had a blast. You mom met her once you know?"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I brought Alexis to her office one day when we were finalizing some details for one of the fundraisers. They seemed to get along right from the start. You must have had a pretty special childhood."

Kate smiled. "Yeah. It was pretty good."

Obviously sensing that she didn't want to discuss her mom, he changed the subject. "I think I'm going to get some writing done. Nikki's calling my name. Call me when you're ready to start dinner and I'll pitch in."

"But it's my turn."

"So? I like to help."

"Fine," she huffed, knowing that he would continue to coddle her until he knew for sure she was 100 percent. He'd been pretty good about it all summer, though she hadn't been an easy patient. She snapped and tried to start petty fights, but never did he take the bait. She loved him even more for putting up with her even when she wasn't an easy person to be around. She just loved him.

They had really taken slow at first. Physically they didn't go past intense make out sessions until three weeks previously when they had finally made love. She had wanted to make their first time special, and it had been. Once she had been cleared for sexual activity by her physical therapist, she had asked him to have dinner at a restaurant near her father's cabin. It had been romantic, and they'd had a really good time. When they got back to the cabin, one thing led to another, as she knew it would, and they'd had the best sex either of them had ever had.

Laying with him that next morning while he dozed on, Kate knew that what they had would be forever. It scared her, of course. After her mom died, she had given up on the idea of happiness. And she never would have imagined that she would have found it with a man who had once been accused of having her mom killed. But she had. And despite her fears, she was going to jump into it with him.

Sitting in her living room a few weeks later, she recalled the memories they had created these last few weeks of being intimate. They had decided that he would move out of the guest room and into her room. At first it had felt weird making room in her closet for his clothes, but it also felt good. It all felt good. It felt right.

xxxx

Three Days Later…

She was pissed. She flew into her apartment and put her gun and badge onto the kitchen table, not bothering to take them into their bedroom to take care of them properly.

"Kate?" Castle said, coming into the room from the office.

"Not now, Castle," Kate snapped, then immediately felt guilty for snapping at him. Scrunching her eyes closed, she took a deep breath. She needed to control herself. She was better than this. She needed to be better than this. For him.

Opening her eyes she looked where he had been standing, but the room was empty. Sighing, she went to find him, knowing that she needed to apologize and explain.

He was sitting in the desk chair that they both shared, typing away on his laptop.

She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "I'm sorry."

He looked up, hurt still swirling in his eyes. "It's okay, Kate. You want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Gates kicked me off the Bracken case."

He spun around and pulled her into his lap. "I'm sorry."

"I just pisses me off, you know?" She said, cuddling closer to his chest, seeking comfort. She'd never been a clingy type, but with him she loved the feel of his arms around her. It made her feel safe and loved.

"I know. Did she say why?"

"Because I'm too close to it, but that doesn't make any sense. I've always been close to it. She was my mother. And the man I'm in love with was sent to jail for it. And the bastard tried to kill me. I couldn't be more close to it. She deserves justice, Rick. You deserve justice. I deserve justice, and I want to be a part of that."

He was silent for a long while as he soothingly rubbed circles on her back. "What if we solved it together?" he asked after a while.

xxxx

a.n. Obviously I didn't finish this in four parts. One more chapter. Reviews would make me happy happy happy.