Reaching for the Stars
Part I, Chapter 8
Satoshi's Classroom – Final Make-up Examination [ S ]
Prologue
"Time's up! Pass your papers!" The administering teacher called, his tone more tired than angry. Who could blame him? It's been a tough week. I passed my paper, kicked back into my seat and gave a satisfied sigh. This was the last of the make-up exams, I told myself. I thought it would never end, but it was finally over.
I gathered my things, stuffed them into my bag erratically then headed out. Somehow, walking out of that testing room was an invigorating experience. The moment I got out of there, I felt really happy. It wasn't because I did well in the exams or anything… I wouldn't know till I got the results, and frankly, I didn't really care anymore. It wasn't because the school year was over, though I was looking forward to Christmas and New Year's Eve… It was something else… something closer to me… something that made my heart pulse; Freedom.
I paced through the corridors light-footedly in a bit of a drunken waltz (though there wasn't a bit of alcohol in my bloodstream), whistling a tune as I went and found myself in the entrance hall of my Middle School. I stood there, my bag hung over my shoulders, looking out the large frosted glass doors of the hall. Taking a deep breath, I smiled.
Behind those doors was a painting of the world outside. The ground was blanketed in white snow as always, but the skies were blue and the sun was up and about. Since November that year, the skies had always been cloudy; layer after layer of grey clouds that covered it. It was like a new artist's palette… empty… barren. For the past month, I haven't been able to see the sun and the colors of life were bleak. Looking at it this time around, the sun finally dominated the skies and shone on the world once again. On that previously empty palette, there was now bright and colorful picture; one that Kouji, Francis, Ritsu, Azusa-chan and everyone else helped me paint. I wouldn't have been able to paint such a great picture by myself.
In truth, I've been reluctant, relying on everyone for the most part of my life. Looking back, I could say that I wasn't the most responsible person. I was the type who would march out of bed without fixing it, eating breakfast without even bringing it to the sink at least and quite messy in general. Being the youngest in the family, I always had the idea that someone would do it for me… that someone would pick up after me. I couldn't take care of myself. I didn't grow.
I was holding on to my friends… I was clinging on to my sister… I have always been relying on their support. Ironically, it was only when my friends moved on that I finally understood that I had been standing on the same spot all those years.
"Take hold of your life," said Francis over the cellphone as he boarded his plane to Canada. I had trouble understanding what he had said then, but I realized that I had always been asking him, Kouji and everyone else to help direct my life… to help me paint that picture. It was my turn to hold it, my turn to paint. The brush was in my hand and it would be the strokes from my hand that would paint that palette. I hope I don't mess it up.
Pushing open the double doors of my middle school; I stepped out into that sunny and colorful picture. There and then, this seemingly normal action marked the end of my Middle School years and signaled that my High School life was about to begin. Freedom… it felt great. I breathed in the air happily, savoring the taste of freedom (whatever flavor it is – it tasted great!)
I pushed my hands into my coat pockets and headed home. Inside one of the pockets, my hand came across a small folded piece of paper. Curious, I pulled it out and unfolded it. It read,
"Live House Performance – Backstage Pass"
Oh right… this was the backstage pass Azusa-chan gave me to watch their show. That other day at the mall, she told me that I should watch their live house performance this coming Saturday. She was planning to offer me a ticket, but changed her mind as soon as I handed her the 400 kinsu entrance fee. She said she said that I didn't have to pay and that I could have the ticket for free. Despite Azusa-chan's kindness, mooching a 400 kinsu ticket from anyone didn't sit well with me. I declined and insisted on paying the money. It was a negotiation-lockdown, and we sat staring awkwardly at each other for at least two minutes or so; a staring-contest perchance? Hardly so; we both blinked every so often….
Azusa-chan however was determined not to lose. Rather than give me a ticket then, she gave me this backstage pass instead. It was a deal that satisfied both parties; Azusa-chan would get me to go and I didn't have to pay. Backstage passes are technically free after all, so I could roll with that.
Raising the pass up into the air, I looked at it with vague intrigue. She told me that watching my sister's band perform gave her a new perspective on life… If that was the case, then I'm really looking forward to seeing that show.
Tainaka Residence
"Satoshi-kun," Ritsu greeted curiously politely, "welcome home."
"Ritsu?" I said as I took off my shoes in the anteroom, "Oh, thanks."
"Would you like me to make some tea for you Satoshi-kun?" she said continuing that subtly devious tone, "It's awful cold outside, so I thought you might want something to warm you up"
"Sure…" I mumbled, starting to suspect some sort of motive
Ritsu happily led me into the kitchen where she pulled me a seat and poured me some tea. I took the teacup and took a sip, relieved as the tea slowly warmed up my body. Ritsu then poured herself a cup and sat beside me on our dining table.
"This is good tea Ritsu." I complemented, taking another sip
"Thanks." She said taking a sip herself
"So what's the catch?" I asked, turning to her with a raised brow.
"Catch?" Ritsu said half-panicking, "W… what catch?"
"You can't hide it from me Ritsu!" I declared, "I know you want something from me."
"Argh, I've been found out." Ritsu grunted, then the two of us laughed heartily. "Fine. You see Satoshi-kun, my band has a live performance downtown this Saturday and I was wondering if…"
"I wanted to buy a ticket for 400 kinsu?" I asked, beating her to the punch.
"Uhm… yeah." She said grinning, "You want to go don't you?"
"I do." I said playing along but showing her the backstage pass Azusa-chan gave me, "I really want to watch the show."
"A backstage pass!" Ritsu gasped, "How did you…?"
"Azusa-chan gave me one." I said sticking out my tongue, "I tried paying her for a ticket, but she refused and gave me this instead."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah…" I said confidently, "so I'm sorry Ritsu, you're not gonna suck 400 kinsu off me."
"Hey…" Ritsu glared, taking out another backstage pass "I was gonna give you a backstage pass too you know!"
"Really?"
"Mhm… meanie."
"So you did that just to play around with me?"
"Pretty much." Ritsu chuckled, "It was funny though… and I was gonna give you a pass anyways so we're even."
"Yeah."
"Wait a sec." Ritsu said in thought, "You got that pass from Azusa? When did you meet up??"
"This Friday. I… uh… ran into her at the mall."
"Hmm… is that so?" Ritsu said, staring at me with intrigued, "you've been getting really close to Azusa recently, I noticed."
"Well, we're friends." I said coolly in response, "It's only natural that we get closer."
"Is that so?" Ritsu said with a smile, "Good for you then."
At that moment, my father stepped into the kitchen and the mood suddenly dampened.
"How were the exams Satoshi-kun?" he asked bordering on concern and insult
"Okay I guess…" I said timidly
"Well, you'd better have done better in these exams…"
"I get it, I get it…" I said tiredly, raising my arms as if surrendering, "so please stop bugging me till we get the results okay?"
"Fine…" father said irritably, glancing at me for a moment then heading for the master's bedroom.
"Darn him…" I grumbled, holding on to the cup of tea tightly
"Satoshi-kun…" Ritsu said genuinely concerned
"If only he would take me more seriously…" I said gulping down the rest of my tea, "I'd really appreciate it…"
"Satoshi-kun," Ritsu said again, "I don't think…"
"But it's okay…" I said cutting her off, "I did my best in those exams. That'll show him…"
Ritsu didn't respond. Just then, I realized I was talking rather harshly. It was a topic that wasn't easy to talk about… or at least… it was something we didn't want to talk about. Shaking my head, I stared into the teacup and said,
"Thanks for the tea again though. It was really good."
"I'm glad you liked it." She said with a weak smile. Changing the topic cleared up the awkwardness somewhat, but that anger I felt for my dad still lingered on. Ritsu seemed to know this too, but she hid it with that fragile smile. I knew I was worrying her… I knew she was concerned… but all I could do was watch that weak, weak smile. Handing her my teacup, I tried to speak again, but Ritsu patted my head.
"Whatever dad thinks, I'll be here to help you out okay?"
"I know." I said getting off my seat and heading off to my room, "Thanks."
Entering the room, I took off my coat and emptied its pockets onto my desk. Small coins and other things fell quickly and rattled against the table. Azusa-chan's backstage pass however floated down slowly, fluttering through the air. I caught it midair and sighed.
"Life-changing huh?" I said to myself; watching the sun set in the distance, pass in hand. "I guess… I do want my life to change."
Downtown Concert Hall - Six day later
"Uwah~! It's Satoshi-kun!" cried Yui-senpai as she pinched my cheeks excitedly, "You came to watch!"
"I did! I did!" I cried back, struggling to get her fingers off my face, "So please… cut it out!"
"Yui…" Ritsu said, "we just got here and you're already harassing my brother. That's no way to treat your fans!"
"And besides," Mio-senpai reminded, forcing Yui-senpai to release her facial vice-grip pinch "our turn to practice on the stage is coming up. We don't have time for this chitchat… which reminds me… why are you late AGAIN Ritsu?"
"It's really cold outside…" The two of us explained, shivering in unison
"My…" Tsumugi-senpai said watching us fondly, "you two really are brother and sister. I see the resemblance!"
"I know right!?" Yui-senpai added cheerfully, trying to pinch my cheek and Ritsu's "Ka – wa – ii~, fu – ta – rii~!"
Jeez… this is too much. First, the pinching, then the out-of-tune Japanese chanting… What am I… some sort of plaything!? The two of us caught her hands midway, forcing her to give up her pinch attack. Clearly, she was dissatisfied.
"So can we get this practice started or what!?" Mio-senpai asked impatiently, "We don't have all day!"
"Yes ma'am..." Ritsu said, "Are our instruments already there?"
"I think so, yeah…" Mio said peeking out to the stage, "the drums are there, the keyboard… my bass… Azusa's guitar… Yui's… wait! Yui, where's your guitar!?"
"Gui-tah!?" Yui-senpai gasped, calling her guitar by its nickname, "Where did you go Gui-tah!?"
"It's in the break-room," Azusa-chan said, "you can't miss it."
"Oh, thanks Azu-nyan!" Yui-senpai said locking her in a tight embrace, "I forgot to bring Gui-tah here!"
"We'll just wait for you on the stage then Yui." Ritsu said, leading everyone else onto the stage
"Okey-dokey!" Yui-senpai replied. Just then, I realized; what the heck am I going to do here backstage? This was my first time going to the downtown concert hall… I don't know the way to the audience area. It was a really huge place too, so there was a good chance I could get lost. I tried to look for Ritsu and the rest but that had already disappeared. Yui-senpai however stood there watching me with a smile.
"You're still here Satoshi-kun?" she said ruffling my hair, "What's going on?"
"I uh… erm…" I mumbled, "don't know the way to the audience area…"
"Oh, I see." Yui-senpai said rubbing her chin, "It's way down the hall from here… I think…"
"You don't know either, don't you?" I inquired with a glare
"Ehehe," she said scratching her head, "I guess I forgot, sorry. I'm really bad with directions."
What a surprise…
"Anyways." I reminded, "Aren't you supposed to be getting your guitar?"
"Oh yeah!" Yui-senpai said, "That's what I was supposed to be doing. Kinda got lost in thought for a while, you see."
No wonder…
"And if I remember correctly," she added, "the entrance to the audience area should be somewhere near the break room… that's right!"
Now she remembers…
"Is that so?" I said looking around, "But where would the break room be then?"
"Follow me!" she said cheerfully, "Since we're heading in the same direction, we might as well go together."
"Ah… uhm… sure." I said hesitantly, wondering if going around this huge concert hall with clumsy Yui-senpai as my guide was a good idea. Not wasting another moment, the two of us went forth to fetch Yui-senpai's beloved Gui-tah.
Turning a corner, a chill ran down my spine as a mélange of bands filled the concert hall's backstage; classy pop groups, hardcore metal bands, classical rock n' rollas, bands from other prefectures, bands from other countries and a lot more.
It was an overwhelming experience to walk through a hallway filled with such people, but Yui-senpai pranced through them without a care. She seemed to be acquainted with many of the people there too. She greeted the pop groups with all sorts of handshakes; gesturing 'rock-out' to the metal dudes who returned the gesture vigorously and air-guitaring with the rockers as she passed by. She even chatted with the internationals in fluent Korean, Chinese, Tagalog and English… what the heck? Aren't we supposed to be hurrying up here!?
"Yui-senpai… I think we should hurry up."
"It's okay." Yui-senpai replied, "Our practice won't start for ten minutes or more. I checked our schedule. Besides, I wanted to show you something."
Yui-senpai, show me something? Was she going to attack me with her pincers again? Knowing her, a surprise attack might be in order… The cheerful words that came out of her mouth however came as a total surprise.
"You know Satoshi-kun, you're very lucky to have an older sister."
"Ritsu?" I asked shocked
"Of course! Who else am I talking about."
"Hmm…"
"I'm not sure if Azu-nyan already told you, but I have a younger sister."
"She actually told me about her. Ui-san, if I'm right."
"Right! Though she's my younger sister, she's much more mature than me and she's the one who does things around the house; the cooking, the cleaning, everything!"
"Really?" I asked surprised. In reality, I thought that Ui-san would be as airheaded and clumsy as Yui-senpai. That would make one hell of a household, in every sense of the word…
"Yup." Yui-senpai nodded happily, "She takes really good care of me, but it's still different from having an elder sibling. An elder sibling is someone you can turn to when you have problems, someone to take care of you when you're sick… someone to look up to."
"I see…"
"That's why I joined 'Afterschool Tea Time', actually. It's my way to thank my little sister for everything she's done for me… Everyone in this room here, you see, is chasing a dream; music. Music is the thing that brings all these people together, and music is what makes us grow. I'm chasing down this dream so that I can grow… into someone my little sister can look up to. So I can be a good elder sister to her."
"Is that so…"
"My sister has been a bright light who helped me grow, I hope to return the favor. You know what I mean?"
"I guess I do… that's something I want to do too actually. I want to grow."
"Really?" Yui-senpai asked, "That makes two of us then! I'm sure Ritsu loves having you as his little brother."
Remembering what happened in the kitchen six days ago though, I doubted whether or not that was true. Somehow, I felt more like a burden to her than a light. As I pondered on that thought, the two of us finally found the guitar case lying against the walls of the break-room.
"Well, it was nice talking to you Satoshi-kun but I have to go now." she said slinging the case strap over her shoulder, "The audience area is just through those double doors. I hope you enjoy the show!"
Dazed by our unusually cohesive talk, I waved back and headed over to the audience area. I took a seat there and thought about what Yui-senpai had just told me as I waited. Indeed, I was lucky to have Ritsu as my older sister. She's always been there for me; in that performance in Francis' garage, when she comforted me after dad lashed out at me, when she tried to invite me to watch them with a cup of tea… I've always looked up to her. That much is true. However, I sometimes wonder if I'm just a burden to her… I want to be a light in her world too, not a void. I want to shine brightly… brighter than the rising sun. The only question was how…
As I was thinking about this, the curtains of the concert hall opened and there stood my sister's band ready to play. Azusa-chan looked out into the audience and waved to me when she saw me for a bit as she picked up her guitar. Yui-senpai then stepped forward towards the microphone to introduce the band.
"Hey there! I'm Yui Hirasawa and here are my band-mates Mio Akiyama on the Bass, Ritsu Tainaka on the Drums, Tsumugi Kotobuki on the keyboard, Azu-nyan…. Uhm… I mean Azusa Nakano on the second guitar and me as the lead guitar. Oh! And this here's my guitar Gui-tah! We're Afterschool Tea Time and we hope to put up a good show tonight!"
A vigorous round of applause and cheer followed and the band prepared to play.
"This here's our first song for the night – My Love is a Stapler! Usually, it's either Mio or I who sings this but Azusa here said she wanted to sing it tonight."
Azusa-chan's going to do the vocals!? I thought…
"Well then, here goes!"
My Love is a Stapler/Watashi no Koi wa hocchikisu [ A – Azusa Nakano ]
Disclaimer: This is an altered version of the original song. The following lyrics were written to follow the rhythm of My Love is A Stapler, but the lyrics here are originally made by me.
I wonder why
This worrisome night
I'm writing down
These feelings that I have hidden inside
On these sheets I'll write
Do you think that I
Am just wasting my time
Oh! These papers here begin to stack
I don't want to go back
……
Bridge 1:
I just really want to know
Why I need you so
But I still want to leave
Leave the world
And hide these sheets away
………
Chorus:
So, I'll staple these sheets in the midst of my heart
Cause, I don't want you to see them, well, at least not now.
All I want is to just be free
And see the world at night.
I know that someday it'll be
A magnificent sight
When it doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right
Lets staple these feelings someday
It'll be alright
I'm still in love with you.
…..
Here we are again
The feelings just won't let me settle down
I really really want to run away
Cause my heart starts to ache
I just want to know
If there's something waiting there somewhere
Tell me am I waiting for it in vain?
Were these papers just a waste?
……………
Bridge 2:
I just really want to know
Why I need you so
But I still want to leave
Take my life
I want to grow.
………
Chorus:
So, I'll staple these sheets in the midst of my heart
Cause, I don't want you to see them, well, at least not now.
All I want is to just be free
And see the world at night.
I know that someday it'll be
A magnificent sight
When it doesn't matter who's wrong or who's right
Lets staple these feelings someday
It'll be alright
I'm still in love with you.
…..
Oh tell me, tell me my dear
Please, I want to know
As my heart is slowly covered in snow
Do you think these staples can hold
Our hearts in tow?
I know that someday it'll be
A magnificent sight
When you don't have to prove it and there's no need to fight
Let's staple these feelings someday
It'll be alright.
I'm still in love with you.
Azusa-chan faced me as those last few words escaped her lips, a wide smile following that. Accompanied by the music, our eyes met for a moment and I couldn't help but smile as well. Yui-senpai and Ritsu too wore smiles on their faces as the spotlights shone in their eyes. Somehow, I felt like they really prepared that song for me… the song spoke to me and it's words filled my heart with a strange feeling… a longing to live life. It was as if I had finally picked up the brush and drawn the first stroke on that canvass. Gosh, I'm even starting to think of making lyrics of my own. Getting back to the performance though, Ritsu raised her drumsticks, leading the band into their second song for the night and their performance continued.
Into their third song, the halls were rocking. The crowd was really getting into it and everyone was on their feet. I'm not really that much of a party person, but in the heat of the moment, I just dropped it and joined in with the rest; chanting the words along with the band. Once the song ended though, I happened to catch a familiar face in the corner of my eye. It was a beautiful girl, noticeably well dressed and cheering for the band like everyone else … could it be…
"Ami-chan?"
"Satoshi-kun!?" she said somewhat surprised, "You're here too? Oh right… Tainaka-san's your sister."
"What a coincidence. I didn't think I'd run into you here!"
"Well, a model deserves a break every so often. I felt like coming over to watch a show at the downtown hall, so here I am. Afterschool Tea Time was performing too, and besides, I wanted to do my part for Haiti, so yeah."
"I see… well then…"
"Ami?" another person said, "Who are you talking to?"
"Ah, Yuusaku." She said turning around, "He's an acquaintance."
Yuusaku… a guy? Is that so…
"Oh hello there," a bespectacled, kind-looking young man said coming towards me, "I'm Yuusaku Kitamura, a friend of Ami's."
"Satoshi Tainaka," I replied, "I'm…"
"Tainka the drummer's little brother." Yuusaku said cheerfully
Is that what everyone knows me by!?
"Ami-chan's told me a lot about you." He continued, "She said you fended off one of her stalkers at the mall a few days ago."
Oh right; that sicko bastard who took pictures of Ami when she wasn't looking… what a lowlife.
"I really appreciated that Satoshi-kun," Ami said with a smile, "You were really brave."
"Th… thanks." I said blushing a bit
"That's it for us tonight!" Yui-senpai then said on the microphone, "I hope you enjoyed our songs!"
With that, the concert hall exploded with applause and cheer. My sister's band bowed off and the next band took their place.
"So, I guess Yuusaku and I will be going now." Ami-chan said checking her watch, "We only came here to see Afterschool after all."
"Yeah, it was nice to meet you Satoshi-kun," Yuusaku said shaking my hand, "Thanks again for helping Ami-chan out back there."
"No problem."
"See you then!" Ami-chan said as she and Yuusaku headed off. I waved goodbye and the two of them disappeared into the crowd.
"Maybe we'll see each other again someday," she said on that day on the mall. I guess it came true. Nice. Sadly, it seems she already has a boyfriend. That Yuusaku seems like a good guy and she seemed happy around him too so it's all good. Well… it's not that I was thinking of anything. I already have Azusa-chan after all… but we're not like that either! Arghhhh!! Never mind! However, it was nice to see her again and that she was doing fine. Sighing to compose myself, I headed backstage to meet up with everyone else.
"Satoshi-kun!" Azusa-chan said as she embraced me, "Sorry I couldn't talk to you earlier, I was busy with setting up and all. I'm so glad you came over!"
"It was a great show Azusa-chan!" I praised, "I especially liked the first song."
"We performed that song for you, you know!" Ritsu said
"I kinda felt like you did." I said with a smile, "Thanks."
"So, was it a life changing show Satoshi-kun?" Tsumugi-senpai asked cheerfully… wait, how does she know about this!? Turning to Azusa-chan, she looked away and shrugged. Darn.
"Well… erm… I really liked it." I said somewhat honestly, "I think I might have been inspired to start writing song lyrics."
"Great!" Tsumugi-senpai replied, "We're glad we were able to inspire you."
"Writing song lyrics is a nice way to spend your free time." Mio-senpai said, "I'm the lyricist of this band and I must say I enjoy writing lyrics. I'm sure you'll enjoy it too!"
"Thanks." I said rubbing my chin, "I might start sometime soon when I have the time."
"So… want to go out and get something to eat?" Yui-senpai suggested, her stomach grumbles echoing backstage
"Why not," Ritsu said cheerfully, "we had a great show after all, we might as well celebrate!"
"I agree," Azusa-chan said, "but don't forget to bring Gui-tah this time Yui-san, it'll be a hassle if…"
"Ah! Gui-tah!" Yui-senpai cried in shock, "I left him on the stage! Ungh~"
Just then, one of the members of the band about to perform came to us and said,
"You guys left this guitar here…"
"Gui-tah!' Yui-senpai cried as she took the guitar from the man and embracing it, "Gui-tah… I'll never leave you again!"
"Take care then." The man said as he scuffled back to the stage
"Yui…" Mio-senpai scolded, "that's the second time today…"
"Third actually,' Yui-senpai said still embracing her beloved Gui-tah, "I almost forgot him when I left home today. Ui-san reminded me too!"
"Clumsy as always," Ritsu said, "anyways, let's go!"
The six of us then headed off to the mall to grab a bite to eat. As we walked, the skies were dark blue in the bright moonlight and traces of clouds loomed in the horizon. My breath fogged up before me as our boots sank into the thick snow and it seemed like yet another normal winter night. However, I was a different person from the one I was two weeks ago. Somehow, somewhere deep inside me, I feel like a wheel of some sort had started turning. I had started moving forward, yet I only barely noticed it. Slowly buy surely… that's how it moved, but it was moving forward. I didn't want to stop. No matter the cost, I won't stop moving forward. Not until I finally shimmers brightly like a star.
To Be Continued