"So, back for good?" Geordie asked as he met her in the transporter room.
"For now." Anya nodded and handed Carina carefully over to her friend. She collected the few other items she was beamed up with and they both headed for her newly assigned quarters.
Anya smiled as she watched Geordie talk to Carina and the baby's eyes tracked the visor with interest.
"I think she smiled at me." Geordie gasped.
"She's two weeks old Geordie, she isn't smiling yet." Anya reminded but was touched that he seemed so interested in the baby she needed her daughter to have strong men in her life that would help show her that although she would be raised as a strong and independent woman, there were important places for men to be in her life.
Anya was very comfortable with leaving Carina with Geordie already in the short time she'd been back on the Enterprise Geordie had made it a point to come by every day and check in on them and spend time with them. It made the transition go so much more smoothly and welcoming.
Anya had met with the nursery staff that she would leave Carina with when she went back to her shifts, it made her comfortable to know that her baby would only be a few decks away at any time they were separated. In the meantime Anya had tried to create a small nursery for Carina in their quarters. The cradle and other gifts adorned her room, and now a picture of Kyle and Anya sat at a prominent place in the child's room so she will know what her father looked like. Anya had also kept a few of Kyle's things and had placed them carefully around the room.
"What is this?" Geordie asked as he came across a small box that was unopened.
"It's a gift for Carina from Kyle." Anya paled when she saw it. "I can't open it right now." Tears filled her eyes and Geordie put the box carefully on a shelf in the main room and turned back to his friend. He hugged her tightly and let her have a moment of grief.
"It just comes like these unexpected waves." Anya admitted as she brushed the tears away.
"I completely understand." Geordie smiled and turned to leave. "I need to report for duty. I can come by afterwards and maybe we could have dinner."
"I'd like that." Anya smiled and bid her friend goodbye. She settled down with some of her work and tried to re orientate herself to the work.
The baby cried, and Anya went to her. The fussing was normal, and it wasn't long before she found herself nursing the baby naturally holding her so when the door chimed Anya slipped a blanket over the baby and covered herself modestly before calling the door open.
"I wanted to come and see how things were going." Deanna greeted as she came in. "I know we didn't have an appointment, but I felt like I just needed to see you."
"I'm doing well. It's not been long, but I hope to be back on shift by weeks end. Even if they are only half shifts for the next little while. I don't think I could go very long between feedings right now." Anya admitted.
"You are choosing to naturally feed Carina?" Deanna hadn't much experience with motherhood, but most new mothers chose to bottle feed their children from her experience.
"I know that I don't believe with a lot of the old ways, but I feel that Carina has had part of her young life changed with Kyle's passing that I don't want to wean her too soon. Plus there is something very comforting having her at my breast. I don't know why women wouldn't want to do it." Anya admitted. "You spoke with Geordie today didn't you?" Anya asked.
"Well…" Deanna paused. "How'd you know?"
"I don't think the ships counselor would be that interested in how a new mother feeds her child." Anya shared wisely. "I guessed maybe Geordie shared with you that he witnessed another one of my 'moments' with me today."
"You mentioned that you shared that your grief comes to you in waves." Deanna encouraged.
"Yes,"
"Sometimes new mothers also experience some post-partum issues as well." Deanna shared.
"I am aware…" Anya admitted. "Beverly… I mean Doctor Crusher did talk to me about the potential for PPD. She offered some medication options if I felt I needed them. I just don't know where I am some days, I would suspect that I am depressed who in my situation wouldn't be? I'm sleep deprived for sure and I haven't dealt with everything related to Kyles unexpected and quick passing.. I realize that I have issues to deal with, but…"
"All in time." Deanna finished her sentence.
"All in time." Anya repeated. Carina had fallen asleep eating and Anya repositioned herself and brought the baby out from under the blanket. The child was flushed slightly, but her breathing was calm and slow. Holding the sleeping infant caused Anya to relax and she smiled down at the small person.
"She is wonderful." Anya sighed and Deanna smiled. The sadness that Anya was experiences was normal mourning. The feelings she felt towards her daughter was normal and already strong with the parental bond growing. "Would you like to hold her?"
"Absolutely..." Deanna admitted. Babies on the Enterprise did happen, but not very frequently so taking the baby was a treat. Carina was fast asleep, her small body breathing gently while Deanna held the child in her arms. Anya sat and watched. Deanna was someone in which she felt that she'd be spending more time with than she was planning on.