She ate breakfast for the first time that morning. She leisurely got out of that bed, picked up the littered wrappers and stored the books. The brunette slowly made the pancake batter, too much for one person because she pretended that her son and Emma was there with her, rubbing sleep from their eyes and joking with still raspy voices. But they weren't. Henry was with Snow and Charming, probably pissed at her for literally not opening the door. And Regina felt horrible.
She abandoned her son during a trying time and the guilt was gnawing at her heart. She gave him a call during the day, not realizing that he was most likely at school. When the voicemail had beeped, she cleared her throat before speaking, "Hello Henry. I… I just wanted to check on you and hear your voice. I'm sorry for not letting you in and I'm ready to talk… face to face. Call me back… if you want? Goodbye my little prince. I love you."
Once she ended the call, she cringed. Why did she sound so desperate? Well, because she was when it came to Henry and, now, Emma. Ever since she was a child, she had been deprived love and affection so when she cared for someone, she went overboard. With Robin, Regina pretended to be someone she wasn't. A saint, a pushover, a sucker. She allowed him to do hurtful things and then she would apologize. When shit hit the fan, she let out a bit of her darker side and he seemed unprepared and scared. She scared him. She never scared Emma. Case in point, Emma taking a chainsaw to her apple tree.
During dinner, as she sat at the table munching on a piece of salmon, her home phone rang and she tensed. Yes, she took the first step but talking to a voicemail is easy. It's one-sided and neutral. She expected her son to abandon her, like he did three years ago. She felt that Henry didn't love her the way that most sons love their mothers. Their relationship should've been unconditional but Henry, he had a lot of expectations. He didn't attempt to understand her or listen to her story. He listened to the book and never listened to her. It killed the brunette inside. Her largest insecurity was not being enough, which made Cora's lasts words so powerful and ridiculously upsetting. Regina would've been enough but she wasn't because of her mother's mistakes.
The answering machine beeped and Regina ran to the kitchen. When his voice came through the machine, Regina stilled with her hand cradling the phone.
"Mom? I know you're home and that you're scared to talk to me but I want you to know that I'm not mad—"
Regina snapped the phone to her ear, "Henry?"
"Mom! Are you okay?" Henry desperately asked. She could hear shuffling and assumed Snow and Charming were being nosy, as usual. She ignored that and smiled at the thought that her son cared.
"I'm… better than I was earlier this week," Regina replied truthfully. She remembered Emma's plea to keep her visit a secret and coughed, "H-How are you?"
"I miss her." Regina felt her throat constrict with sadness. At that moment, the brunette felt a pang in her chest. She was lying to him again. The distrust was what tore them apart before the breaking of the curse. She made a mental note to speak to Emma about telling Henry.
"I know you do. Can you come over tomorrow?" She asked, feeling anxiety growing in her gut. She was ready for rejection. She always was. Rejection was expected because no one loved her enough to deal with her issues, insecurities, and negative traits. No one ever saw her. No one ever tried to see her. Until Emma. Emma saw her and tried to understand her. The two women had been placed on the opposite sides of the spectrum: Evil Queen and White Knight. But they had so much in common that it was utterly astounding.
"Okay! I'll go after school," She could hear his smile and she felt a solitary tear roll down her cheek. He missed her just as much as she missed him. He continued, "Grandma put dinner on the table so I have to go. But I'll see you tomorrow, right?"
"Yes, dear. I love you, Henry, so much." She stated shakily and she could tell that he noticed by his sharp intake of breath.
"I love you too mom! I really do," Regina nodded but realized that he couldn't see her, "Bye mom."
"Bye." She swiftly shoved the phone back onto his carrier, not wanting him to hear her break down. She slid down against the stainless steel refrigerator and landed on the floor with a thump. She couldn't stop the tears. Hearing her son sound so defeated and desperate for her was overwhelming. A child should not have to worry about their parents but Henry worried and, sickly enough, it made her feel good. But the fact that his desperation made her happy actually pissed her off because that would have been something Cora would feel. It was selfish and Regina wanted to be selfless for him, for Emma.
"Gina?" The brunette startled and accidentally smacked the back of her head against the fridge. She reached back to sooth the pain but a dainty hand batted her away. Emma inspected the injury before sighing, "You gotta be careful. Luckily, you've got a hard head. Always have and always will, huh?"
Regina actually smiled genuinely because Emma hadn't changed. When she fought the darkness, she was the same stubborn, jovial, and immature woman that Regina loved, "You can't just pop out like that, Idiot."
Emma let out a light laugh and Regina finally turned to catch her wide smile. The blonde woman was beautiful, just gorgeous. How she never noticed the seriousness of her feelings was beyond her comprehension. This woman made her feel something other than anger, sadness, or regret. She made her feel like the girl Daniel loved, the free spirit. It felt nice; even though the feeling would only last until the blonde was whisked away by a dark cloud, back to wherever she went when she wasn't with the brunette.
"I've missed you. What did you do today?" Emma lowered herself beside Regina onto the tiled floor, her back supported by the fridge. The brunette scooted closer and the blonde lifted the arm that was between them to drape it around her shoulders, pulling Regina against her chest. The brunette's face scrunched up with emotion as she caught a gentle whiff of Emma's natural scent, a scent that she wouldn't have realized she would miss so vigorously until last week, when she thought she lost her.
"I got out of bed, obviously, and I ate breakfast for the first time since… well. I called Henry and he's coming over tomorrow." Regina slid her hand back and forth across Emma's toned abdomen. She felt the blonde's smile stretch against her cheek.
"How's the kid?" Regina sighed, her breath leaving a trail of goose bumps against the other woman's chest.
"He misses you," Regina cleared her throat and pulled back slightly to make eye contact with Emma, "I can't lie to him. I need to tell him that you've revealed yourself to me."
Emma looked down, suddenly interested in the vein patterns on Regina's aging hand, "I'm… What if he tells people? Then they'll want me to come out of hiding and I'm not ready, ya know? Every day is a battle to overcome the need to destroy, to hurt. Coming here was hard because I was so terrified that I would revert while being here and hurt you but, with you, I know you can defend yourself if it ever, God forbid, came to that. But Henry? My parents? These small time fairytale characters?"
"Henry just wants honesty. He wants to know you're okay. He's a good boy. If I tell him to keep your appearance a secret—"
"He will. I know," Emma paused, looking skyward in an attempt to gather her thoughts. She finally snapped her eyes to Regina's and saw the pleading look. Regina didn't want to lie to her son. She couldn't and Emma couldn't ask that of her so she continued, "Tell him tomorrow but I can't see him yet. Tell him to give me a few days to get my shit together and then maybe he could sleep over one night and we could have a late dinner and stay up all night."
"That sounds fantastic." Regina smiled, her hand continuing it's comforting strokes across the blonde's abdomen as she leaned in and kissed Emma's cheek in gratitude. The blonde blushed. Blushed. And Regina felt her libido spike instantaneously. My lord, where did this feeling come from? It felt so sudden even though, deep down, the brunette knew that this had been culminating for years, from the first moment they laid eyes on each other. The more Regina though about it, the more she realized how much they made sense. The Savior saving The Evil Queen. Henry would be so into this, so happy to see his mother's together. Probably. Maybe. Regina could never pinpoint her son but her gut told her things would be fine.
"Right? You, Henry, and me. A family." Emma's smile was so hopeful that Regina melted and no one made the Evil Queen melt. Except Emma, which was becoming a pattern. Emma was the only exception. And now the Evil Queen was cliché. Damn.
"I wish we had realized sooner." Regina whispered, nuzzling her nose into Emma's lean neck. Emma chuckled and nudged her with her shoulder.
"That tickles," She explained before standing and offering a hand to the brunette. Regina was pulled up into the blonde's arms, "Let's go upstairs."
Emma clasped their hands, fingers interlacing, as they climbed the stairs side-by-side. Regina felt the dark magic radiate from the other woman and she inwardly flinched. Emma Swan was the antithesis of dark and, yet, she was given the darkest title of all, absorbed the darkest magic of all. It was a conundrum. It was unfathomable. In a way, Regina was curious what the new Dark One was like. She had met Rumple but she wondered if Emma would be the same. Would it be like a split personality? Or did it bring out the potential darkness that was already inside her?
Once they reached her bed, they settled in side by side, their clasped hands in between them. Regina turned her head to the side to peer at the blonde, who was already looking her affectionately.
"How much time do we have?" Emma sighed, briefly looking behind the brunette.
"I don't really know. Sometimes I can fight for long, sometimes I can't. Right now my average is an hour. Last week, right after I… you know, I could only fight it for a minute or two. Now, I'm up to an hour. That's why I want to wait for Henry so that I can build stamina and last for a few hours. So that we can pretend to be a normal family for a night." Emma explained, her eyes drifted shut.
"What does it feel like… when you're reverting?" The brunette leaned closer, pressing their bodies together.
"When I'm with you, like right now, I feel so… normal, happy. Then suddenly, I feel this anger bubble up slowly. It's horrible and it makes me spiteful. I can feel it coming. My muscles tense and my teeth clench and I just want to die but I won't, I can't, because I've got Henry and you and my parents. I have things to live for, to fight this darkness for. I can't let it win, not when I'm so close to getting it all." Emma's voice was deep, emotional, and her eyes were wet. Regina felt sadness crawl through her veins. The blonde didn't deserve such angst. She didn't deserve this strife, not after the difficult life she had experienced. A life that went south because of the Evil Queen, because of her curse. Regina felt tears prickle behind her eyelids.
"This is my fault, Emma," Regina whimpered and the blonde opened her mouth to, most likely, disagree but the brunette continued, "I was the reason your parents sent you through that wardrobe. I was the reason you had such a repulsive childhood, one without your parents. I was the reason for everything negative and you still gave me a chance. You should have let me become the Dark One. You should have let me fight it."
"No! I couldn't watch you in pain! You think I had it shitty? Well so did you, Gina! You deserve a chance and taking on such darkness? It would have eaten you alive because you are a wielder of dark magic. You know why I'm here? Why I can fight it? Because I'm a wielder of light magic. I needed to do this for you, my love, and I will never regret it." Emma griped Regina's hands tightly and made strict eye contact with the brunette. The blonde wanted the other woman to understand that she was dead serious.
"You don't blame me?" Regina whispered, pressing a succinct kiss to Emma's chest, right above her left breast. She felt her breathing slow, waiting for the answer. She knew that Emma would say no, that Regina wasn't to blame but, with her eyes, she begged the woman to tell the truth. She wanted honesty. She wanted a genuine reaction. Emma noticed her expression and sighed.
"You are partially at fault, maybe twenty five percent, because you put my parent's in a crazy situation but they decided to send me away. They could have kept me. Maybe we would've been together here and been happy, even cursed. I don't know. As for the fighting when I got here, I know now that you were scared of losing Henry because he was your world. I know that I contributed to it as well. That was fifty-fifty and I accept my mistakes. You did not ruin my life, no matter how much you think so," Emma smiled shyly, "Most importantly though, you've given me a chance here, a chance to be your friend and a chance to be something more. That's all I've wanted since I was a child, a chance to control my destiny, to build my happy ending."
"Thank you," Regina whispered, sniffling slightly as she rubbed her hand over Emma's heart, "for the forgiveness and the chance. I thought I had lost my chance with you after hearing you declare love for Hook. I'm glad I'm not too late."
"I thought I loved him but then I saw you surrounded by that darkness and I realized that it did it on purpose, it chose you on purpose. The darkness knew that if it had encircled Hook, I wouldn't have done what I did. I would only do that for you and it knew."
"I love you Emma and I want to take this on for you so badly. I don't like seeing you struggle." Regina sat up, running her fingers over the blonde's arm. Emma sat up to join her, wrapping her arms around Regina's mid-section. The blonde leaned in, pressing their foreheads together, before pressing their lips together lovingly. The kiss was slow, expressive of the love they shared. Emma pulled back with a nip, pulling on the brunette's lower lip.
"I need to go." She said, her face scrunching. Regina knew that the darkness was bubbling to the surface as Emma's eyes darkened slightly and her posture straightened. Regina frowned, not wanting her to go but knowing they had no choice in the matter.
"Tomorrow?" Regina caressed Emma's jaw and the blonde's eyes glistened and her cheeks flushed with emotion. Emma let out a shaky breath.
"You'll tell me what the kid says? And maybe we could do some more of this?" Emma's lips quivered and Regina placed a sweet kiss, attempting to quell the other woman's worry.
"Of course and of course," Regina joked, smoothing down pieces of rogue blonde hair, "Go. Fight. Come back tomorrow knowing that I'll miss you and that Henry and I love you."
"I love you guys more." And she was gone, taken by that damn dark cloud Regina was beginning to hate with a passion.
"Impossible." Regina whispered before the cloud dissipated, in hopes that Emma could hear.
She did.