Sleep took her at three am, not that it mattered as her dreams taunted her with possibilities that would never come to fruition. She dreamt of being from Storybrooke originally, second child to a loving mother and a caring father. Zelena and Regina would have been best friends because they both had a bit of a dark streak, a mischievous record in school. They would be happy, eat dinners together, have an abundance of friends, and rule the city. Emma would come to town looking for her parents and fall for her after a romantic few months of courting. They would get married, buy a homey abode, and adopt a precious boy that they would name after the aforementioned caring father. It was nice.
And then she woke up and realized she was born to a manipulative mother and a spineless father in the Enchanted Forest. She was kept on a leash, abused, and controlled. She had no choices. She married whom her mother wanted her to marry, she wore what her mother wanted her to wear, she cried at the volume her mother preferred. She never had power, just an illusion of power. Even as the Evil Queen, Rumplestiltskin was pulling the strings.
So she kept her eyes closed and prayed that when her eyes opened, she would discover that the dream was her reality and that the Enchanted Forest was a detailed imagination. She hadn't murdered innocents, she hadn't blackened her soul, and she hadn't been labeled and been evil. She was just a woman from a boring small town with a wife and a son. She made her family pancakes on Saturdays, gave her wife a peck on the lips before going to work, and had family dinners on Sundays.
But she delaying the inevitable because she was evil, she was a villain, and she was alone. The fucked up part was that she used to be those things. She had been changing, making friends and being good. That had been the true illusion because those so-called friends were nowhere to be found and Fate had her pegged as a villain and maybe she was right. She was just like Hook. The moment people turned their backs, she lost motivation and reverted. Suddenly, she didn't hate the pirate as much because they were one in the same. She empathized with him. He had just lost his motivation because of her. Yes, Killian Jones and Regina Mills were so alike it hurt. The only difference is that Regina tried changing for Henry, to gain his love.
How pathetic they were. Maybe Emma deserved better than either of them because they were…
No, Regina mused, she wasn't like the pirate because the love she held for Henry was deep and true. She wanted to change for her child. Killian Jones didn't want to change; he wanted to glamour his true colors for a woman. Regina Mills wanted to break her pattern for Henry, Emma, Snow, Charming, the residents she had wronged and herself. Regina Mills didn't want to be the woman she once was. Killian Jones loved himself, that much was atrociously obvious.
No, she was doing it for more than love and sex. She was doing it so that she could look in the mirror and not cringe. She was doing it to be a better human being. She was doing for the little girl that had loved her, for young Snow. She was doing it for Zelena, who needed her guidance to the light. She was doing for Charming, who she had separated from his love. She was doing it for Cora, to show her that honesty was better than manipulation. She was doing it for her father, to show him that it wasn't too late for his daughter. She was doing it for Daniel, who fell in love with a kind version of her. She was doing it for her son, who deserved to meet the woman that Daniel loved. She was doing it for Emma, who loved her at her darkest.
Most importantly, she was doing it for herself, who wanted to be able to take a full breath and not have to resist a sob every time. She wanted to walk into Granny's and see smiles, not glares. She wanted to feel like she was a wanted part of this town. She wanted to be someone that mattered.
So she opened her eyes, even though she couldn't fathom getting out of bed. She needed to see her reality and take a deep breath.
She saw the alarm clock. It was early, really fucking early, but she couldn't go back to sleep. She screwed her shuts back shut because even Evil Queen needed their damn beauty rest, even if no one would be seeing her. She tried for several minutes but her body was too tensed. She noticed the changes in the air. Someone was there, in her bedroom. She kept her eyes shut, fear running her blood cold.
"Gina?" The brunette sat up quickly and whipped her head to face the recognizable voice.
"Emma?" The woman eased from the shadows in the bedroom corner, a shy smile gracing her lips. Regina breathed out shakily because Emma was there. She wasn't alone. The blonde playfully jumped onto the bed, practically tackling the brunette. All Regina could do was laugh with relief as Emma kissed her face sloppily.
"I'm sorry it took me so long. My rage overtook me and it was a lot harder than I thought to assert myself again. Then when I got here, you were sleeping and looked so peaceful. I didn't want to disturb you." Emma was straddling her hips, her hands playing with the split ends. She needed to get a trim but she wasn't ready to leave the mansion. Maybe she could ask… Maybe she could do it herself.
"Next time disturb me. I can sleep when you're not here." Regina replied, pulling the woman down so that the blonde was on top of her completely. Face-to-face, breast-to-breast, hip-to-hip, toe-to-toe. Emma placed a loving kiss to her lips.
"Tell about our kid." Regina smiled because she said our. The phrase 'our son' took on a new meaning. Emma nuzzled their noses together and Regina could smell her scent. She breathed in slowly and deeply, needing to memorize that scent.
"He was happy that you were okay. He agreed to wait to see you," Regina coughed uncomfortably, "He also lectured me on how this situation wasn't my fault."
"I told you he got my smarts." Regina good-humoredly poked her in the ribs, making the blonde jump and giggle naughtily. The brunette burrowed her fingers into Emma's locks, pulling her down for a sensual kiss. Regina swiped her tongue across Emma's bottom lip and received immediate entry. They battled and clashed until Emma gained dominance and led the kiss. The blonde's hands traveled to hold the sides of her neck as she deepened lip lock, their bodies beginning a steady rhythm. Once the broke away for air, Emma cursed, "Well shit. If I had known you were that skilled at tonsil hockey, I may have professed my love from rooftops years ago."
"You're literally a child." Regina chuckled, licking her lips to gather some more of the blonde's taste.
"So that makes you a cradle robber, my dear." Emma imitated the mayor, receiving an amused glare.
"Bane of my existence."
"Mayoral pain in the ass."
The two women stared at each other, their smiled so wide it threatened to split their faces in half. Is this what their relationship could have been like? Playful, sensual, flirty, and all around fantastic. Hopefully they'd have a chance to find out in the future.
"You know, Henry stood up for me today," Emma furrowed her brow so Regina clarified, "Against your pirate."
"He's not my pirate anymore. If you didn't already know, I'm kind of really crazy about you and I'm not backing out. We've wasted enough time. It's time to grab life by the horns and go for it, huh? This is about us, me, you, and Henry, no one else. I want to be with you until I take my last breath, maybe after, depending on the whole afterlife thing. Henry wants a complete family. He'll think this is some fairytale, which it just may be. What do you want? You have a choice here. There's no pixie dust or storyline to follow. You decide. We decide. I want you Regina Mills. Do you want me?" Emma smiled coyly. She had no reason to be afraid though. She just squashed all of Regina's insecurities with one monologue and made the brunette fall even more.
"More than anything. I want you and me to be together. I want Henry to be our son. I want us to live here and make a home. I want everyone to know how I feel about you. I want you to be happy with me. I want to be happy with you." Regina felt her eyes burn with tears but it was, for once, happy tears. She couldn't believe that Fate was allowing this, giving her a chance. Maybe Fate wasn't as big of a bitch as she had originally thought.
"Score." Emma joked, muting Regina's astonished laugh with her lips. This kiss was short but conveyed everything. When they pulled away, Regina lightly smacked Emma's bicep as she chuckled.
"You're going to beat this," Emma nodded shakily, fearful of disappointing the brunette, but Regina tilted her chin back up so that their eyes could meet again and she continued, "But if you can't fight it, I will track down Merlin to the ends of the earth and make him help. Even if you can fight this, I will get him because you deserve normalcy. You deserve to have a boring life with me."
Emma smiled genuinely, "I don't think life with you in this town will ever be boring."
"I'll work extra hard to be monotonous." The brunette joked, brushing her fingers through blonde locks. Emma let out a bark of laughter.
"I talk a lot of smack but I think I like the craziness." The blonde replied. The sun was rising and the room rose in temperature, the rise could've been contributed to the knee pressing against Emma's core. She certainly wasn't complaining.
"Then I'll turn up the maniacal. Maybe bring out the Evil Queen wardrobe and terrorize the town." Emma bit her lip, remembering the outfit she witnessed with her own eyes when she went back in time.
"I like the wardrobe part. Maybe not terrorize these already psychotic fairytale characters," Regina shuffled slightly, her left leg falling asleep. She tried to shake off the prickly feeling and Emma rolled off of her, cuddling into her side instead, "I have to go soon. I feel it starting."
"Alright." Regina sighed and Emma propped her head on her palm to get a better look at the adorable pout on the brunette's lips.
"Is it?" She asked seriously. Regina turned her face, looking into dark green eyes.
"No but I understand. I really, really understand, Emma. And one day, it will be alright." Emma nodded sadly, appreciative of the honesty.
"Yeah, it's not alright for me either. I want to cuddle with you and fall asleep and hog the covers. Instead, I'm going away to be alone."
"Where do you go when you leave?" Regina turned her body, imitating the blonde's position.
"I think I'd feel better, for now, if you didn't know. I don't want you to be missing me and go visit, only to find a monster." Regina nodded. She understood and appreciated her protectiveness but she didn't have to like it.
"Okay. You're right." The brunette sighed.
"Close your eyes. Go to sleep," Emma softly commanded, "I'll see you tomorrow… or I guess, later today."
"I love you Emma." Regina eyes were already drooping and Emma smiled affectionately.
"I love you too Gina. Sleep." Emma sat up but started stoking the brunette's hair, soothing her.
"You're not alone Emma, even when you go away to wherever. You have me and Henry and your parents," Regina whispered through a yawn, "You're not alone. Remember that."
And she would. Always.