xxPUDDxx - yeah, its kinda mad just how much they've changed everything for me, and i know the feeling! i get so stressed sometimes all i can do to calm down is to listen to them, or watch their videos, i just calm right down, i love it! haha yeah its crazy, before, i wanted so badly to be a forensic scientist, like from NCIS or CSI, but after failing my chemistry a level two years in a row, i obviously had to give up on that dream, and realised soon after just how much i loved to write, and how many people seemed to enjoy my work. without even realising it, writing took over my life in three short years, now i can't go more than a day without writing at least five paragraphs! and i know, i'm not sure if i enjoy history yet, as i've only just taken it on two weeks ago, but for the moment its not too bad, though the essays are pretty hard! and i've got a really wide range in music taste, i literally go from Taylor Swift to Slipknot, all of the songs i've put in this fic is stuff i usually listen to, and thought would sound good in the fic as it fit. but the stuff i mostly listen to is McFly (obviously) Evanescence, Carrie Fletcher, Simple Plan and The Script! :)

and thank you! i'm really glad you're enjoying it! :D

monkeywaiters - i don't know how to respond to this, thank you so, SO much for saying all of this, honestly you've left me speechless and near tears from happiness from your comment. i'm honestly so speechless at how much you enjoy this, and saying that my writing is professional, its my dream to have publish novel one day, and to hear that so highly of my work means so much to me. i spend most of my time writing and shaping these fics, so far as to putting off doing school work, and to know that it is being recognised and appreciated as good work, its incredible. thank you so much for commenting and making my day, honestly thank you so much.

540 Dougies POV

Tom and Danny spent the whole day giggling together and hugging each other close, they were so happy today, I hadn't seen them this happy in months. I think now it was sinking in that Tom was going somewhere soon, in a matter of just two weeks. Two short weeks. It was clear that Danny was making the most of his time left by clinging to his boyfriend, making him as happy as he could. Tom didn't seem to notice that something was up, just giggled cutely at whatever Danny was whispering in his ear, his boyfriends large hand making his new lion bounce around.

As we came closer, I realised that Danny was singing Hakuna Matata from The Lion King. Tom was giggling madly at him, blushing when the song ended with a kiss to his cheek. "I love you Tommy, remember that. I love you so much." Danny squeezed Tom close, refusing to let him go at all. Tom just hugged him back and rested his head on top of his lovers, squashing the curls that had been left to go wild for months now. "I lo... like you too." Tom frowned a little, seemingly choking on the word love. "I know you do." Danny sighed, he hadn't heard Tom say that he loved him since the day the both of them almost died, I couldn't imagine how badly he wanted to hear those words again.

Time seemed to fly past then, because before I knew it, we were eating dinner before curling up on the sofa again for the rest of the evening. Danny was laying on the sofa with Tom laying in front of him, his back to his chest. He was whispering over and over that he loved him, was never going to let him go, that Tom wasn't ever going to leave his loving arms ever again. He only stopped when the phone rang, piercing through the air and stopping all of us in our tracks. Carrie ran up to get it, but had to call Danny because it was for him. "I'll only be a minute Tommy, I'll be back soon, I love you." Danny kissed Toms cheek before gulping and running to the phone. "I have a feeling I know who that is, stay here Dougs." Harry whispered, gently pushing me off his lap and running out too, leaving me and Tom together.

"D-Danny!" Tom whined, looking up pleadingly at me like I could get him back. "he'll be back soon, don't worry." I sighed, shuffling down in front of him and curling into his arms, so he couldn't run out there. If Harry was right, it was the place we were sending Tom to, probably to confirm everything, Tom didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to hear it either, I was happy to still be blissfully unaware of everything, still happy to believe that my best friend was staying here with me. Tom made a pained sound, his big eyes looking so lost without Danny here. "shh, Danny will be back soon." I kissed his cheek, hugging him close, wondering how Tom was going to cope without Danny in the ward. If just leaving him for a couple of minutes left Tom looking so lost and alone, what was leaving him completely on his own for most of the day, every day going to do to him?

Soon, I could hear the sound of crying floating through the door, practically confirming that it was the ward who had called. My grip on Tom tightened, I didn't want him to go! It was so close, we were so close to sending him off! How could we send him away?! How?! We were just going to leave him in some ward, by himself, on his own, with no-one to hold him and tell him that we loved him! That wasn't right, it wasn't fair! It just wasn't fair!

541 Dannys POV

"shhh Dan, shh. We still have two weeks, its not like its tomorrow." Harry whispered gently in my ear, rubbing my back gently. "b-but its coming up! Its happening Harry! I-I, how are we doing this to him?! He's so defenceless! He'll never survive without us!" I cried, feeling so guilty for this, I had never felt so guilty. I wanted to scream, rip my arms to shreds, ring up that ward and say it was off, Tom was staying with us, he was never going to leave us. "he will, Toms a strong guy inside. And we'll see him every day, and we'll phone him, give him as much support as we can. They'll take good care of him, you saw the ward yourself, the staff wont be too harsh, and they'll make sure Tom survives as you put it. He'll be fine." Harry promised, letting me cry into his chest so helplessly.

I just wanted Tom to stay here in my arms, where I could keep an eye on him, where I could cheer him up and make sure he was as happy as possible. But I also knew that I couldn't keep him like this forever, he had to get better, we would never perform as a band again if he didn't. Toms favourite thing in the world (after cuddling up on a sofa with me) was performing, he loved it, he practically lived to be on stage, singing and playing guitar like he was born to do it. How could I deny him that joy for the rest of his life? I couldn't. I couldn't do that, but I never wanted to let Tom go either! What did I want more? To have the love of my life in my arms, permanently stuck as a child, or for him to be happy, running around on stage and being in the band he lived for, still childish, but as clever and perfect as he was when I first met him? Of course I wanted him to be happy, running around on stage! But what if he hated me for sending him away and giving up on him? I had failed him, I had promised him that I would make him better by myself, but I wasn't, I was giving up on him. I hated myself, actually hated myself for it.

"don't hate yourself Danny, please. Don't hate yourself. You've tried your hardest, but we can't do everything, you're not superman, none of us are. You've got him through so much already, maybe its time to let someone else take over?" Harry practically read my mind, but he was wrong. I couldn't just give Tom up like this. I hadn't tried hard enough. "but I'm Toms superman! I get him through everything, I got him through his eating disorder years ago, I can make him better now!" I could, I was sure I could, if I tried just that little bit harder, I could make him better! "Danny, you've been trying all year, you're knackered, running yourself down, trying to sort him out. You need a break, a long break. Just let this happen, it'll only be a few months, and then we'll have our Tom back. The happy Tom, the Tom we've been craving for almost two years, isn't a few months of separation worth it to have our Tom back, our whole lives back?" Harry had a point, but I couldn't help but feel so guilty, I was so guilty because I should have been able to sort this out myself.

"Danny? Why are you sad?" Tom suddenly asked, his arms hesitantly coming around me. "its nothing Tommy. Don't worry about it." I squeezed his skinny little body, hating how I was upsetting him now. How much more upset was he going to be when he realised that when I walked out of his room in the ward I wasn't coming back? He was going to be heartbroken, I was so horrid to him, I didn't deserve him. "don't be sad. Smile!" Tom smiled for me, but I could see in his eyes that he was scared for me. "I will, don't worry Tommy. I'll smile." I put on a smile for him, wiping my eyes and forcing myself to calm down. I would not cry in front of Tom, I refused to, he was not going to find out what was happening in the new year until the right time. Crying would make him far too suspicious and I didn't want that, I just wanted Tom to be happy, for the little time I had left with him, I just needed him to be happy.

I managed to force myself to calm down, and stood there and squeezed my boyfriend as tight as I could without hurting him, wanting nothing more than for this hug to last forever. But I had to think positively, in a matter of months (hopefully) I would have my Tom back, my perfect Tom, smiley, happy, bouncy, geeky, funny Tom. That was something, wasn't it? And he would be capable of feeding himself, and looking after himself, (though I was never going to stop trying to protect him) that was something to look forward to. As soon as he was ready, for real this time, we could get back on the road again, get a new album recorded, tour all the way around the world, do what we did best. That was what mattered, right? Getting to go out and do what we loved, even though it meant I had to give up looking after my boyfriend and let him go somewhere else that would scare the living daylights out of him.