Anya slept for a quite some time before she woke to find Geordie rocking Carina with a bottle in his hand.
"She woke up and looked thirsty, I talked with Dr. Crusher and she suggested giving her a bottle of enhanced electrolytes to give back what she's lost while being sick. I didn't think she'd drink it, but she did. I think she's fallen back asleep." Geordie updated. "You look better."
"I feel better, I wasn't myself before. I feel less on edge now." Anya admitted.
"Good. So, maybe you'd like to have something to eat. I hear grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup is always a good choice after a good nap."
"Actually that doesn't sound so bad." Anya agreed and watched as Geordie carefully put Carina back down and proceeded to organize the meal. The two sat in friendly silence and ate the food. "Maybe you'd like to stay a bit longer Geordie, we could pull up a holomovie or something… I haven't watched many in a while."
"I'd like that.. The new releases just got put up a few days ago. I'm sure there's one we could agree on." They sat down on the couches and settled in to watch one. So it was surprise to both of them when the door chiming awoke them.
"Anya? Are you okay?" The door chimed again and Anya startled awake
Geordie was just stretching when they caught Deanna walk into the cabin overriding the lock with her security clearance. "Oh, I thought you'd be on your own… I didn't… The computer told me that Anya was in her quarters and when she didn't respond to the chime I thought maybe she was… "
"Counselor.. Geordie came over to help me with Carina… We watched… We must have fallen asleep." Anya shared disjointedly. Geordie stood up and waved to Deanna.
"Movies always make me sleepy, we just watched a holo.."
"It's good to have such friends." Deanna returned and could sense both of them were a little embarrassed by the situation, but neither of them were hiding anything either so she just smiled. "Beverly and I had breakfast this morning and she told me about your recent time in Sickbay and I thought maybe you'd like to talk to someone about what happened?"
"I sorta freaked out." Anya shared. "Got caught up with the emotions of Carina being sick and the similarities that I saw from the outbreak at home." Anya then turned back to Geordie. "I was very thankful that Geordie was able to come and stay with me. It meant a lot to have his support."
"I can sense that. You've had a lot happen over a short period of time." Deanna reminded. "Children being sick can cause a lot of stress for parents. That's normal."
"Having a meltdown in Sickbay isn't really a response that is normal." Anya went to replicator. "Did you want some tea or coffee?" She asked both her guests.
"Thanks Anya, but I should probably report for duty. I'll check back with you at the end of the shift. It looks like Dr. Crusher has relieved you of duty for another few days so you can stay with Cari." Geordie also noted reminding her of the message from the night before. Anya nodded and then turned back to Deanna.
"I'll have a cup of coffee if you are going to have one as well."
"Oh I think I might need one." Anya nodded and ordered two coffees and brought them over to the couch again where Deanna sat down with Anya.
"No, having a meltdown in Sickbay isn't normally the response we see in parents, but it isn't that uncommon either. You were under stress and then you've handled the passing of Kyle well, yet you still grieve for him,"
"This isn't the way I wanted to raise Carina." Anya shared. "I wanted Kyle to be part of this, he should be part of this. He wanted Carina just as much, if not more than I did. He wanted to raise her surrounded by music, and art, other children and safety. He wanted to give her all the opportunities in the universe, and now he's not here to do it."
"That can be hard to wrap your head around can't it." Deanna started.
"I can wrap my head around it no problem, it's my heart that doesn't want to wrap around anything accept Kyle and Carina." Anya sighed wisely. "Then we put her first real illness into the mix and I'm a wreak."
"She's better though."
"Slept through the night, should be waking anytime."
"Have you been able to open the gift that Kyle wanted Carina to have when she was born yet?" Deanna asked and surprised Anya that she would suddenly bring that forward during this talk.
Anya shook her head. "No, I wanted to a few times, but I've come to the conclusion that the gift was for Carina, that maybe she should be the one to open it."
"Or, maybe it's important for Carina to have it now.. Kyle wanted to give it to her as a baby that's why he had it ready." Deanna reminded and Anya dropped her head again and felt the tears start. Deanna moved closer to the woman when she felt the overwhelming sadness descend upon Anya as she struggled with that idea.
"Geordie and I spoke of this but I'm not sure what to think. Will this get any easier? Every milestone that Carina has it will be reflected on the day that Kyle died and this guilt I have for not being able to help him. This is mixed with the joy of having this little girl in my life… It's so hard!" Anya sighed.
"Yes, it is." Deanna agreed and rubbed Anya's back as she mopped her face. "You will have to work on creating new memories and new feelings of happiness and joy. I also think that you should open Kyle's gift."
"Now?" Anya asked.
"When you are ready." Deanna started. "Yet, the sooner you can do it the sooner you can stop holding onto that unknown part that sits on the shelf every time you go into Carina's room."
"Okay. I think I understand." Anya sighed and then the two woman heard a cough and a small cry as Carina awoke. Anya stood to go and gather her daughter, and as she changed her daughter and brought her out, she was surprised to see Deanna had remained and put out a bit of breakfast for her. "Thank you." Anya smiled.
"You're welcome. I will come and check back on you tomorrow…" Deanna ran a hand over Carina's head and child the cuddled closer into her mothers neck but gave Deanna a small smile. "Look after this little one."
"I promise, I will." Anya returned and Deanna left.