Reaching for the Stars

Part II, Chapter 5

Ami Kawashima's Vacation Home

A fogged breath rises up to the cloudy horizon, chilly winter winds brushing through the frosty air. Clad in thick sheets, Ami runs a hand gently through as she held on to a mug of cocoa with the other. She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the snow-covered railings of her villa's deck and watched that cloudy horizon. Every morning, this was her routine. She just stood there and watched the cloudy skies, her sighs being the only things breaking the subtle silence.

Her eyes were set on the bright spot gleaming in the rows of grey clouds; the spot where the sun should be had there not been any clouds in that dismal grey sky. Though the clouds were thick, the spot was distinctly brighter than its surroundings. Ami, who watched the spot in deep thought, pondered a question she had been asking herself for a long time; how long could she keep on going like that? She had been standing like that everyday for quite a while now. There were a lot of things going on in her mind.

Earlier that week, she had received a call from her father – her father who also doubled as her talent manager. It was about the statement she had made in the latest issue of a certain pop culture magazine. There, Ami said that she was thinking about taking a break from modeling work so that she could focus on her studies. Usually, she went to a private tutor in Tokyo since her father's design company was based there. She told this to her interviewee and said that though she wasn't against being homeschooled, she wanted to actually try going to a regular school. This statement sparked a lot of controversy and brought Ami and her father's company for which she worked a lot of publicity; both positive and negative.

At the end of a lengthy discussion, her father proposed to delay her plans of transferring to a real school. If she made that move too early, he reasoned, it would cause too much of a shock and the publicity could turn sour. She was asked to continue modeling for about a year or so to cushion the effect of her transfer, but Ami was very reluctant to accept the offer. It was a reasonable proposal, and being a seasoned model such as herself, she knew that that was the best way to go about it. Still, she couldn't get herself to accept that offer. The call ended a week ago, but everything they had talked about still swirled around in her head that day. Her father had been calling her for the past few days, but Ami never answered his calls. She didn't know what to do. As the missed calls piled up in her cellphone, Ami sunk deeper and deeper into a silent confusion.

Just then, a distinct smell reached Ami's nose. It was a familiar smell, but it was out of place with the scent of the surrounding forest. It was the smell of fried eggs and bacon being cooked. It didn't take her long to realize what had just taken place.

"SATOSHI!" She cried, running back into the villa with her mug of cocoa in hand, worried about what her unofficial tenant was doing in her villa's kitchen

"Mornin'." Satoshi Tainaka said casually, holding up a spatula and waving at her as if it were his hand

"What are you doing Satoshi-kun!" Ami hollered angrily, "You might… oh…"

Turning her eyes to the frying pan, she saw a pair of eggs and a few strips of bacon sizzling nicely. The yolks of the egg were still whole and Satoshi had used the natural oil from the bacon instead of adding olive oil. She was impressed.

"It'll be ready in a minute Ami." Satoshi said, returning his attention to the sizzling pan.

Ami, as impressed as she was with Satoshi's action, was dumbstruck by what had just happened. Before her stood Satoshi Tainaka, the boy he had let into her home after running away from his own home, donning a blue apron and frying eggs atop her kitchen stove. It had been four days since she had let him into her home and here he was frying up a breakfast for two. She doesn't remember asking him to do that for her. Usually it was she who prepared breakfast for the two of them in the mornings after all.

"I got up early since I was really hungry, you see." Satoshi said amidst the sizzling sounds, "I saw you outside but you looked kinda busy. I didn't want to disturb you, so I went on ahead and cooked."

Acting on impulse, she thought to herself. It was admirable of him to be able to do these kinds of things on a mere whim. Seeing how Satoshi could do such a thing just puzzled her even more. Why was he doing this? What was he trying to achieve? Unable to find an answer and too cold to return outside, she retired the sheets she had wrapped around herself, washed the empty mug of cocoa and sat at the dining table. There, a half-bowl of steamed rice was already set as well as a cup of green tea.

"You're quite diligent." Ami said, commenting on Satoshi's meticulous preparation of breakfast.

"Thanks." Satoshi said in response, "I'm going to have to learn to get used to doing these sorts of things, you know. It's not like I'm going to be staying here forever."

That was true. Satoshi wasn't staying under the roof of Ami's mountain villa permanently. He was a temporary tenant and would have to leave one time or another which only added to the worries in her head. If ever Ami had to leave the villa, Satoshi cannot and should not stay. That would make him a squatter resident. He didn't want to leech off from Ami's kindness for the rest of his life either.

What would he do when she had to leave? Where would he go? She had to tell him about that dilemma, saying that after New Year's Eve, she would have to return to Tokyo and now was the perfect time. She sighed and told Satoshi about it as calmly as she could.

"I can go to Tokyo with you." Satoshi said as he joined her at the table, brining the eggs and the bacon to her side. As soon as she heard that, she bit her lip. She was expecting an answer like that from him. Heaving another heavy sigh, she told him that that wasn't possible making Satoshi's heart sink. If the most popular young model came back to Tokyo with a young boy like Satoshi, she explained, rumors would spread like wildfire. She also added that if Satoshi stayed with a high-profile personality like herself, it wouldn't take long for everyone to realize that he, Satoshi Tainaka, was still, in fact, alive.

Satoshi heard that blunt explanation and fell silent. Ami then remembered the harsh situation Satoshi was in. If he couldn't go with her, he had nowhere else to go. Once she realized that, she felt a little sorry for rejecting him so plainly. However, it had to be said. The longer she kept that from him, the harder it would be for the both of them after all.

"If that's the case, then I'm going to start working to support myself." He said with a weak yet determined voice, "Day after day, I've come to realize how dependent I've become. I can't keep on relying on others like this."

"Satoshi-kun…" Ami mumbled, surprised by Satoshi's sudden determination.

"The very reason I left my home was so that I could grow." Satoshi said with sense of purpose, "If I carry on like this, then running away would have been for nothing."

"Why don't you go home then?" Ami suggested. Ever since the day she had let him into her home, she hadn't been a fan of Satoshi's decision to run away from his home.

"I can't do that." Satoshi retorted fiercely, "I've come all this way… I can't go back now!"

Ami stared straight into Satoshi's eyes as he said this, silently pleading for him to go back. She couldn't support him forever but she didn't want to leave him alone at his state. Despite her silent pleas, his eyes burned with a passion that she could not quell. It made her sick.

"So what do you plan to do with your life Satoshi?" Ami said coldly, "Do you plan to keep on running?"

Satoshi flinched and looked away, unable to take Ami's intensifying gaze.

"I'm not running away. I'm moving forward."

"Forward huh…" Ami challenged, "do you really think you're moving forward now?"

Satoshi wanted to argue, but there was something in her words that struck him. When he looked back at it, it was by mere chance that he was able to evade the police that night and get onto that cargo train. When he first rode that bicycle out of the driveway of the Tainaka household, he didn't know where he would go. He was lost.

"Whenever you get into something, you will always need some sort of direction." Ami said in a mellower tone. "People will always need guidance, you see. We can't just jump into something and expect everything to go our way. That's why we have to set our goals and work hard to reach them. There will always be problems along the way, but perseverance will get us through."

"Guidance…" Satoshi said to himself, "like a star?"

"Maybe." Ami said, "You always talk about moving forward, but you never talk about exactly what you are moving towards or even what direction you're moving. Just because you're moving doesn't mean you're moving in the right direction. Look to the stars, and you'll at least be able to see what path you're headed to."

"I see." Satoshi said ponderously, "So what should I do now?"

"You want to be self-supporting right?" Ami said, "Then go get a job in town. You don't have a lot of money on you, right?"

"Don't remind me…" Satoshi said, still sour about the contents (or lack thereof) of his wallet.

"But anyways, that's a good step." Ami said with a nod. "If you save enough money, you can find a good apartment somewhere and buy what you want."

Satoshi nodded, thrilled by the thought of actually living on his own labor.

"That'll be tough though…" Satoshi said in thought, "Even if I work a few jobs, I'd still be hard pressed to pay the rent in a low-end apartment…"

"That's true…" Ami sadly agreed.

"So instead…" Satoshi said cheerfully, "I'm going to get a bicycle."

"A bicycle?"

"Yes Ami, a bicycle." Satoshi nodded, "If I get a bicycle, then I'll be able to move around on my own. I could just bring my things and go wherever the road leads me."

Ami tried to argue with him again, but Satoshi was adamant about getting a bicycle.

"Do you remember, I left my house riding a bicycle." Satoshi said, explaining himself to the confused Ami, "The bicycle was a rickety old mountain bike, just like the old self I had left behind. I rode into the night not knowing where I was headed and I ended up falling downhill and almost crashing into a frozen lake. The old bike was destroyed and it was a terrifying ordeal, but I now have a chance to start anew. I want to get a bike so that I can pick up from where I started, but as my new self, you see?"

"A revival then…" Ami said, pondering over Satoshi's explanation

"That's right." Satoshi said, "The skies will clear someday, and I'll finally be able to follow those stars again. Getting a bike is my first step to self-sufficiency – it'll open up a whole new world for me."

"I see." Ami said with a smile, "gosh, you sound so much like Yuusaku… wait."

Ami's eyes then started to glow.

"Wait a minute Satoshi-kun… I have an idea!" Ami said hopefully, "You know Yuusaku Kitamura right? The guy I was with at the concert hall back in your town?"

Satoshi's eyebrow twitched at the mention of his name. When he met him at the concert hall, he was jealous of how close he had been to Ami since she was popular. Discarding his spite for a while though, he gave a slight nod.

"Perhaps I could get him to let you stay with him at his town." Ami proposed.

"Me, live with him?" Satoshi said a little taken aback

"Yeah, why not? He's a childhood friend of mine, and he's a good person." Ami said, "I'm sure you'll get along."

"But…"

"Well," Ami said with a devious grin, "would you prefer sleeping in the snow or staying in a house?"

"In a house…" Satoshi grumbled. He was acutely adverse towards the cold after all and Ami knew about it.

"So it's settled then." Ami said, "I'll ask him about it sometime."

"Fine…" Satoshi said, accepting defeat. "But I'm still going to work to get a bike."

"I heard you the first time." Ami said grinning. The two of them then got on to their breakfast and cleared the table in a breeze. Satoshi left soon afterwards to find some work and Ami showed him to the door. Now that she was alone, she went back to the deck and watched the skies again. This time, the clouds had parted somewhat, and a strong ray of sunlight now flowed from that bright spot in the sky. A smile formed on her face as she remembered Satoshi's words.

"The skies will clear someday, and I'll finally be able to follow those stars again…"

"I guess we all have stars to follow…" Ami mumbled to herself as she fished out her cellphone from her pocket. She called her dad and said,

"I'll do it."

To Be Continued

A few days later, at the Grocery Store

Epilogue

"Thank you for shopping! Please come again!" I said, wearing the widest smile I could muster. The smile was so wide that I felt my cheeks shaking involuntarily… sheesh. The customer nodded and left with his bag of groceries. Once he was gone, I sighed and leaned over the counter.

"So how are you holding up Sammy?" The young female shopkeeper said as she watched me plop down on the counter

"I think I'm fine. There were a lot of customers today, eh?"

"I guess so." She said with a smile. She then took out the remote control and turned on the TV in the corner and gave me a cup of instant noodles. I guess it was break time.

Hmm… you may be asking as to why the shopkeeper was calling me 'Sammy' instead of Satoshi and what I was doing lying down on the checkout counter of the grocery store. Well, you see, when I went down to town a few days ago to look for a job, the grocery/convenience store was the only place hiring so I went in and applied. I got along well with the shopkeeper too since she was a fan of my sister's band and since she taught me how to make corned beef (and I agree with her that hand-prepared beef is better than canned ones!).

The reason why she's calling me 'Sammy' instead of Satoshi is of course to hide my true identity from her. I wouldn't want her to go out and shout 'SATOSHI TAINAKA IS ALIVE!' or something… that'd just be terrible. So when I applied, I pulled out the greatest Canadian accent I could muster and told her that I was Sammy Tanaka. Thanks to my time with Francis, I developed a pretty good Canadian accent, ending every other sentence with 'eh' and pronouncing words like 'out' differently. Of course, she was suspicious at first, but when I started talking about hockey, the Juno awards and the Toronto Film Festival, she couldn't argue anymore.

Now, here I am, working my butt off as a checkout counter boy, saving up money to buy a bicycle. I worked by the hour, earning 350 kinsu per hour. After six hours of work at minimum wage, I basically doubled the amount of money that I had in the first place. It made me realize how poorly I would have lived if I got off that train at a different station. Thank goodness I landed in a town with an acquaintance like Ami.

Speaking of Ami, she had talked to her friend Yuusaku already and he said that he was willing to take me in. I was surprised that Yuusaku agreed so easily, even though we only met once at that concert but Ami soon explained that Yuusaku used to be the type who ran away from home too. So basically, he understood how I felt… I'm glad we were able to reach some mutual sense of understanding.

I would be taking a train to his town in about a week and I would be going to high school there with him. It wasn't exactly the total freedom I had dreamed of, but I could live with it. Studies are a part of self-sufficiency too after all, so I might as well give it my all. However, the freedom I had now was amazing! I'm still amazed that I was able to make it this far. I would really be starting anew. It's a new slate! It's a new life! I can't wait.

As I slurped down the instant noodles, the shopkeeper turned the TV to the entertainment channel where Afterschool Tea Time was being interviewed.

"I know Satoshi-kun is alive somewhere, I can just feel it!" Ritsu said determinedly, Yui-senpai nodding vigorously in support, "If you can see this right now Satoshi-kun, we're going to find you!"

Find me, huh? Sorry sis, but that ain't happening. Bring it on Ritsu, I'd like to see you try! This is one challenge I'm not going to lose.