Day Two:
I don't like
the memories
because the tears
come easily,
and once again I break
my promise
to myself for this day.
It's a constant battle
A war between
Remembering and forgetting.
They sneak up on me. In quiet moments. The memories. It's like after Cary and I left the firm. But so much quieter . This time it feels like there is a darkness closing in. I want to run away from the darkness but there is nowhere to turn, every corner hides a memory. Sometimes the memories are happy ones that remind me of happier times. Your hands on my thigh in a crowded conference room teasing me while your other hand texts me one word "lunch?" Other times it's the bad, your hand swiping my desk clean and telling me I'm awful. It doesn't matter though; whether good or bad, both bring the tears and both remind me he's gone. You're gone, Will. And I can't bring you back. But what's worse is that you won't really leave.