A/N - I know that the first chapter was a lot longer than my normal chapters. This one, and the ones that follow, probably won't be as long. I thought about chopping the first chapter into two smaller ones, but since it wouldn't be any kind of surprise, I decided against it.
BTW - I know that cheating is rude. You don't have to inform me.
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Chapter 2: Mutton and Candles
Berk appeared much faster on the horizon than Astrid would have liked. She felt a pitting in her stomach that grew worse with every flap of Stormfly's wings. She gripped the saddle tighter. The storm had done minimal damage to the village, mostly to rooftops and stables, and debris scattered the square. Vikings and dragons were out and about to make quick work of repairs.
Stormfly squawked as they came in for a landing. Skullcrusher and Eret landed a short distance away. Eret caught her eye and Astrid let her stare linger.
No one had to know.
No one knew.
"Astrid!" Her chest thumped and she tore her eyes away from Eret. Hiccup, flanked by Toothless, was jogging toward them. Astrid slid from Stormfly's saddle. Her legs felt weak on impact.
"Yeah?" Astrid asked. She hadn't forgotten their fight. But right now she wasn't going to push the issue. Although, she found it hard to meet Hiccup's eye.
"Astrid, I'm sorry about earlier." Hiccup said with hesitation.
Astrid swallowed. Damn it, Hiccup. Stop being you.
"Eret, can you go help Snotlout? He's in the forest west of Raven Point." Hiccup asked. "He's bringing in a load of lumber to help with repairs."
"Sure thing," Eret said. He and Skullcrusher pushed off and Astrid watched their shadow fly across the ground.
"Astrid," Hiccup said, stepping closer.
"Hiccup, it's fine." Astrid put her hand up. There was a feverish rumbling in her stomach and kept reeling. She wasn't in the mood for affection. She could feel the sweat breaking out across her skin. She wanted to sit but she refused. She was strong. She would face it down. She would win.
"No, Astrid, it's not." Hiccup shook his head. "I was stressed, I was being pulled in too many ways. I'm sorry, Astrid, really, I shouldn't have blown up like that. I was just angry."
Astrid didn't have the words to cut him off. They bubbled in her throat and clumped together. She swallowed but the lump in her throat wouldn't budge. Seeing Hiccup standing, fumbling over an apology, struck her heart. It made her tryst with Eret much more complex that it had been an hour before.
That moment in the hot springs felt far away, like a dream, but Hiccup made it feel very real. The guilt was boiling in her gut and super-heating her ribcage.
"Please, Astrid, let me make it up to you." Hiccup pleaded. "Come to dinner tonight, my treat. Mom is planning on eating with Gobber. It'll just be the two of us."
Hiccup's nervous chattering ended and Astrid was left standing in his silence. He was waiting for her answer with wide eyes.
"Yes," Astrid nodded. "Yes."
"Thank you, Astrid," Hiccup exhaled in relief. Someone was calling for the chief and Hiccup sighed. "I've got to go, I'll see you tonight."
Hiccup left a quick kiss on her cheek before he ran to Toothless's saddle. The flew to the source of the call.
Astrid watched him fly away. She stood frozen until Stormfly nudged her. She reached up to scratch the dragon's chin. She warbled into Astrid's hair.
"It's okay, girl." Astrid said. It wasn't okay. She couldn't avoid this forever. Could Hiccup know? No, of course not, she told herself firmly. What if he sees it on her face? He's keen on things like that. He can read a dragon's emotion faster than most people can read their own.
She turned to Stormfly, hiding her face, and took a deep breath. It doesn't matter how she feels. She can't feel anything. Eret doesn't mean anything. He didn't mean anything. He's just Eret. He was a passing moment. A passed moment. She had to let go, push it away, because it never happened. Especially around Hiccup. Around anyone. It never happened.
It never happened.
No one had to know.
No one knew.
Astrid made her way home. She wanted some dry clothes and maybe tea, maybe something stronger. She patted Stormfly and she slunk to the stable. She curled into a circle as Astrid pushed the door open.
"Hi, Astrid,"
Her mother's voice startled her. It shouldn't have. She lives here. "Hi, Mom."
"What's wrong?" Ingrid Hofferson stopped her work to stare at her daughter, soaked to the bone, missing for a prolonged period of time.
"Nothing." Astrid shook her head.
"Where have you been?" Ingrid asked. She placed a hand on her hips.
"Oh, I was…out…training Eret. The storm just kind of…came…and we waited it out." Astrid said, looking to the floorboards like they might come up with a brilliant and unquestionable alibi.
"Right." Ingrid said. She sighed, "Astrid, is there anything that you'd like to talk about? Woman to woman?"
Astrid tried again to swallow the thump that clogged her throat. She shook her head, convincing herself to speak, "No."
"Are you sure?" Ingrid eyed her. She took a step and lowered her voice, "Is is Hiccup?"
Astrid stumbled over her words, "In a way."
Ingrid's eyes widened and she raised a brow at her daughter.
"But there's nothing to worry about, Mom. I promise." Astrid said with a nod. There wasn't anything to say because nothing had happened.
Astrid, finally in her room and alone, sat on the edge of her bed to calm her beating heart. The tangled knot in her stomach was growing and tearing at her insides. Her entire being was being sucked into an endless hole. She gripped the edge of the bed and closed her eyes.
Breath, Astrid. In and out. Calm down.
Had it really happened or had it just been a dream brought by the weather?
Don't be stupid. Of course it happened. You slept with Eret. You cheated.
But she and Hiccup weren't married. So it wasn't technically adultery.
So what? You cheated. You're engaged. You had sex with a man that wasn't your betrothed.
No. It didn't matter it if happened or not. She had to pretend that it hadn't. She had to. If she were found out, then it might mean death or banishment for both Eret and herself. But…Hiccup wouldn't do that. Would he? If he knew…he would be furious. Should she tell him?
No, hell no! That is a horrible idea!
The punishment was dependent on how angry Hiccup would be. And he would be angry. Furious. She couldn't tell him. She couldn't tell him because she didn't want to envision the aftermath.
Eret had just been sex. Just sex. Physical. There wasn't anything more. It had just been sex.
"No," Astrid shook her head. What had been just sex? Nothing. Nothing hadn't been anything.
X
That evening Astrid made her way to Hiccup's house. She had changed into dry clothes, taken a nap, and had three mugs of hot tea. Her legs were more stable but her chest was thumping as she marched up the steps to his door. She moved her hand to knock but the door shifted before her touch.
"…I'll see you later, Hiccup," Valka said as she opened the door.
Astrid retracted her hand. She hadn't expected Valka to still be home. By the looks of it, Valka hadn't expected Astrid to be on the other side of the door. Her mouth opened but closed.
"Good evening, Astrid. Come in, come in." Valka smiled and moved to give Astrid room.
Astrid smiled her greeting and stepped in as Valka swung the door open. She felt a horrible twitch in her stomach as she walked passed her future mother-in-law. Hiccup was setting up the table for two. He smiled at her and tried her best to return the gesture.
Astrid glanced back at Valka. She was lingering in the doorway, her slender hand still on the edge, her stare was curious and disappointed. A horrible twist of guilt in her stomach burst into flames. Valka eyed her as if she knew. Disappointing Valka was like disappointing her own mother. Maybe a little worse. Astrid tore her glance away. She heard the door close behind her.
"Are you okay?" Hiccup asked. He moved around the table.
"Yes," Astrid said instantly, nodding.
Hiccup was looking at her with an interest and concern that she hadn't seen in a long time. He reached for her arm and gentled pulled her to the table. He'd arranged it with a candle in the center, fresh flowers, and roasted mutton that smelled delicious. He pulled out the chair for her.
"I've told Toothless to hide upstairs. I told the village that I wanted to test out a new function for his tail so they don't think that I'm here." Hiccup smiled as he sat down. "It'll be a while before someone figures it out."
Hiccup smiled at her from across the table. She smiled back but his faltered.
"Astrid?" Hiccup asked. He leaned in and set his elbows on the table. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes." She nodded. Play it dumb. Nothing happened to be guilty over. Nothing.
"You know that you can talk to me, right?" Hiccup said.
"Yes. Why?"
"You seem really distracted." Hiccup leaned forward a little more.
"It's nothing, really. It's…stupid." Astrid shook her head.
"Tell me," Hiccup said.
Astrid swallowed. "This afternoon, after…our fight, Eret and I went out flying."
"He's getting better, I noticed. I'm sure that has nothing to do with his amazing teacher, though." Hiccup smiled.
Astrid tired to feign a smile but it felt wrong. "We were flying and the storm grounded us. We waited it out in a cave we found."
"That's it? I would have done the same thing." Hiccup said.
Astrid averted her eyes to the food on the table.
"Astrid?" There was doubt in his tone.
"It's nothing." Astrid cursed herself. Panic was raging in her stomach. She wasn't pretending. There was nothing to pretend about, because nothing had happened. Nothing. No one knows. He doesn't know. "Really, it wasn't anything serious."
"It wasn't anything serious?"
"Eret…kissed me. But I punched him. He learned his lesson." Astrid lied, staring down at the mutton. Suddenly, she had lost her appetite.
"What?" Hiccup's sudden change was irate. "He what?"
"It's nothing."
"You aren't acting like it's nothing."
"Because…it was weird." Astrid said, a bit louder than she'd intended. "I'm used to fighting off verbal come-ons. But when it comes to physical advances…I don't know what to do. No one actually ever tried anything."
"I kissed you." Hiccup said, tentatively.
"Yes, but…I wanted you to." Astrid shrugged. A subtle twist of his lips decreased the panicking guilt in her stomach.
"Do I need to have a talk with Eret?" Hiccup smiled.
"No, I think he learned his lesson." Astrid smiled. "And if he tries something else he'll get a broken nose."
Hiccup smiled. "Go on and eat, it's been cooking all afternoon."
They ate, and it tasted as good as it smelled.
"I'm sorry for being rude earlier."
"It's alright, Hiccup. You apologized."
"Yeah, but you never really forgave me."
"I forgive you." Astrid smiled. Why did those words taste sour?
"Thank you, Astrid." Hiccup nodded. "It's this Chief thing. It's been one thing after another. There's barely been time to breath. I mean, look at tonight. I had to lie to get people to leave me alone for a few hours."
"No one said being Chief was easy." Astrid said.
Hiccup sighed, "You aren't clingy. You're anything but. And I've barely seen you. You're supportive, and I don't mind your protectiveness, and…I can't imagine my life without you." Hiccup was looking at her with those bright green eyes that melted into her. "I'm beyond lucky to have you."
Nothing. There was nothing to feel guilty over. No one knew.
"I love you." Hiccup said over the mutton.
"I love you, too."
The words had come naturally, a habitual reaction to his, but she meant them. She did love Hiccup. Dearly. She hated to see him unhappy or hurt. The genuine joy on his face was lightening, like washing warm water over her skin, hot tea flowing down her throat.
There was nothing. Nothing had happened. No one knew.
Astrid reached across the table and Hiccup met her open hand halfway. Their fingers intertwined.
"Do you want to talk about wedding plans?" Hiccup asked, a brow raised.
"You want to talk about wedding stuff?" Astrid asked. He'd always shied away from the topic before.
"Yes. The sooner the better." Hiccup smiled.
Hiccup stood up, forgetting his half-eaten mutton, and joined her on the other side of the table. His hands glided along her jaw and wrapped around his shoulders. He kissed her, softly at first, each one as tender as the one before. She gripped the shirt over his shoulder blades. She loved how she could easily fold her arms completely around him. She could hold him tighter.
Hiccup kissed the corner of her mouth and left a trail along her cheek. He bite her earlobe and found that damned place underneath her ear. Her nails flexed and dug into the fabric of his shirt. She turned her head to give him more room at her neck. He took the invite. She let her eyes wander over the table.
"The candle is nice," Astrid breathed as Hiccup kissed her collarbone.
"There's more upstairs." Hiccup's breath was hot against the wet skin of her neck.
Astrid moaned at his touch at her waist.
"Is that a yes?"
"Yes,"
Hiccup lifted her from the chair. He didn't carry her but he couldn't take his hands off of her. He had lit a number of candles in his room, scattered on the floor and on tables, flickering shadows over the walls. Toothless had been curled up on his rock-bed and at the sight of Hiccup and Astrid collapsing onto his bed he stood, snorted, and walked downstairs.
Astrid pulled him on top of her. Hiccup comfortably situated himself between her legs. She could feel his arousal against her growing dampness. He gently thrust into her and audibly let his want known.
She shouldn't be thinking about Eret with Hiccup this close to her. She shouldn't be comparing them. But she couldn't help it. Eret had been…experienced. Hiccup had only experience with her. But still, Eret was just sex. It was different with Hiccup. It felt different. Hiccup made love to her. Eret was just sex. It was good sex, but it was just sex.
Astrid dug her nails into his shirt and clutched it in her fists. She pulled it over his head, temporarily separating their lips, but they were quickly reconnected. His skin was pale and smooth, spotted with the occasional freckle, and it felt great underneath her hands. It felt great against her skin.
Like he'd read her mind he worked her shirt from her skirt and pulled it over her head. One by one their clothes were removed and tossed to the floor. The candles flickered and danced. He'd taken time to set this up. Astrid buried her hand into his hair as he positioned himself over her, thighs against hers, holding himself up with his elbows.
Astrid gasped into his mouth as he thrust into her. She pulled her legs around him and hugged his narrow waist. She moved against his thrust, adding her own, building her own pleasure along with his.
Eret was bigger, yes, but Hiccup could last longer. Gods, what was wrong with her? She shouldn't be thinking about this. Not right now.
She moaned into his kisses and he grunted back. It escalated, and just when it became too much it exploding into full-body euphoria. Hiccup finished and collapsed onto her. He rolled onto the bed beside her and she curled into his side. She left a kiss on his cheek and she felt his lips in her hair.
"Love you,"
"I love you, too."
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