THE LUCKIEST MAN
d'Artagnan:
"I'm sitting by the bed holding the hand of the man I consider to be my brother and my mentor. I remember when I came to the Musketeer garrison looking for you, I wanted to kill you; though I knew nothing about you." D'Artagnan huffed in amusement at the memory.
"You have worked by my side as brother and have taken me under your wing as protégé. You have allowed me to make mistakes, knowing that I must learn from them. You have instructed, guided and advised me; I have soaked it all up like a sponge."
"I yearned for the influence of one I so highly esteem. I hoped your skill and talent would help mold me into the kind of Musketeer I aspired to be."
"Yes, I came to the garrison looking for blood; I stayed because I wanted to belong. Over time, I watched the closeness, the brotherhood of the trio everyone referred to as the Inseparables."
"I remember thinking that I would give anything to be a part of a friendship such as that. I didn't set out to infiltrate your brotherhood; I considered myself lucky just to have the occasional sparring session with any of you."
"I never imagined it would be so easy to fit into your tight-knit group, let alone be considered a little brother." Tears formed in d'Artagnan's eyes at the memory. He wiped his eyes and paused to collect his emotions.
"How did I ever get to be so lucky?"
"Do you remember when your house was on fire? You were kneeling in the grass watching the house burn and I came to flush your eyes out with water. You grabbed my doublet and poured your heart out to me about what happened with your wife—the excruciating duty of having to 'uphold the law' and see your own wife hanged."
"I wanted to tell you then how much my heart ached for you and how I felt your pain at that moment, but it was not my place. I am sorry that you had to endure such torment all those years."
"I can't imagine having to watch such a thing as executing your own wife. No one would blame you for not staying to watch her die. My God, that you had the courage to carry through with the hanging is befitting of your noble character."
"I saw everything that you had given up when we went back to Pinon for you. You could be living the life of luxury, power and prestige as comte; instead you choose to live the simple life of a soldier. Yet, as a distinguished King's Musketeer—even as a soldier- you are anything but simple."
"Though I must say, perhaps, you missed your true vocation as an actor," d'Artagnan laughed.
"You are a very good actor, Athos. However, I am not really sure how much you were pretending when you had Milady seized by the throat in the street. I'm sure somewhere inside, you could have choked her with your bare hands. . . if your conscience would have allowed it."
"But when you told Milady to kneel in the tunnel. . . whew." D'Artagnan blew out a breath, like a whistle.
"I really thought for a minute you might kill her in front of us. I remember saying that I was glad you saved her; though I had my doubts later on."
"Of course, your threat to kill Milady if she was to ever show her face in Paris again. . . well, that flew out the window, didn't it?" d'Artagnan chuckled.
"I guess we both have our soft spots for the fairer sex, haven't we? When it's all said and done, you are still a man of honor—whether your opponent is deserving of that honor or not."
"That I can call myself your friend—your brother—I am lucky."
"I am the luckiest man on the planet."
Porthos:
"I sit 'ere beside your bed, watching you lie so still. You don't like to be still but enjoy keeping busy, honing your skill as a swordsman, as a soldier and as a Musketeer."
"You never claimed to be perfect, and you aren't. You have your own moments of weakness, like everybody else."
"Are we so different? Just like me, you also would rather forget your past. Yet you try to forget your past by drownin' away the memories, one drink at a time. In all your drunken stupors, we were there to pick you up and support you—no questions asked—though we did have questions."
"You never told us why you drowned away the memories haunting you; we respected you too much to ask. We figured you would tell us when you felt comfortable enough to share—in your own good time."
"I just wish that you had opened up to us sooner. If I could have helped carry some of your burden, help to ease your pain in any way, I would 'ave done it."
"I know you are a very private person, perhaps out of shame, because of wha' happened with your wife. You put your complete trust in a woman you loved and she betrayed you."
"Where I come from, trust is never given lightly—if at all. If I was betrayed, as you were, I would probably react the same way. . . by turning to the bot'le."
"Where I lived. . ." Porthos let out a huff of disgust. "Bloody hell, I didn't live; I existed. You do wha' you havta to survive. You trust no one," Porthos scowled.
"You give your friendship to no one. You learn to survive on your own, or else ya don't survive in the Court."
"I wouldn't be a Musketeer if not for Captain Tréville. Even then, I expected my position as a Musketeer to simply be a job, at least it go' me out of the slum."
"I finally was somebody. I felt proud of myself for the first time ever in my life."
"I never expected to find friendship, and I certainly never expected to find brotherhood. I wasn't lookin' to gain any brothers; I was fine on my own."
"Then I met Aramis. Oi, there was somethin' about 'im. . . we connected instantly."
"We became close—like brothers."
"Then you came along. In your quiet and commanding way, you forged a friendship with us—with me—that I wouldn't have thought possible."
"I don't see how we became such good friends, our backgrounds are too different—like day and night."
"You were raised in opulence; you lived a life of privilege and wealth. You're a comte, it is your birthright, Athos. You could still be Comte de le Fère."
"I grew up in the Courts, the slums of Paris, where the wretched hide from people like you. I knew nothing but poverty and despair. I had to learn to steal if I was goin' to eat. I had to learn the ways o' the street."
"I never thought I would amount to much. I was just another slum rat destined to beg or steal my way through life."
"Yet, somehow, we both ended up here, in the Musketeers, standing shoulder-to-shoulder as equals—as brothers."
"How I could become as a brother with the likes of you?" Porthos shook his head in disbelief. "I still do no' know."
"But then I find out about my real father- what I could stand to inherit- and I see that, perhaps, we are not so different after all."
"Even knowin' what I could 'ave, the estate and the money, I would rather have my brother Musketeers."
"I never trusted anyone so completely. I trust each of you with my life."
"I never thought I would give my heart—let alone, my trust—over to three brothers I love more than my own life."
"I am lucky. . ."
"I am the luckiest man on earth."
Aramis:
"I insisted that Porthos and d'Artagnan move away from your bedside so I could talk to you. They've been hovering around you like mother hens, watching over you and talking to you."
"They miss you, Athos." Aramis paused for several minutes. "I miss you."
"I'm tired of looking over here and seeing you sleeping. It's time for you to wake up; we need you and we're not complete without you." Aramis choked back tears.
"Sorry, I swore I wouldn't do this. . ." Aramis paused, changing direction of the conversation. "I'm still a little sick, but I'm getting better. Porthos and d'Artagnan said I wasn't very cooperative as a patient. Well, that goes without saying," he chuckled.
"I think you would understand, though. You and I are both very stubborn men."
"I don't really remember how we became friends; it just seems like we were meant to be."
"Porthos and I were friends for a while, when along came this soldier who carried himself differently and spoke differently; there was somethingabout you that I found interesting and appealing."
"You are mysterious, Athos, I'll give you that. Even though Porthos and I didn't know much about you, we couldn't help but be drawn to you as brothers. You easily worked your way into our friendship and into our hearts."
"While we are different, we are also the same. Did I say that we are both headstrong? We complement each other so well, and I am glad that we do; we make a good team."
"At heart, we are just soldiers, you and I. You weren't at Savoy, but you didn't question why I supported Marsac—despite the rumors that he deserted without cause, and that he was a coward."
"You never questioned why I needed to know the truth about what happened at Savoy; you supported me, even when you didn't have to."
"I remember when d'Artagnan and I were helping hide Agnès and baby Henri from the cardinal, when you and Porthos showed up."
"You, of course, looked very serious—very soldierly—as always. On a side note, I've always wanted to say, that you really had me worried there for a minute. You had me fooled when you first arrived. I thought you would stand by your duty; instead, you stood by me."
"I've never been so relieved to hear you say that you would help me. Though I don't know why I was so surprised, honestly. I should have known that's why you had come to find me. Why would I think you would do anything else?"
"That was a brilliant idea, by the way, of blowing up the brandy as a diversion. I don't know that I would have thought of that. You always were the brilliant strategist of the group."
"You have always had my back, Athos. I know that I can count on you to support me, no matter what. I trust you implicitly—I trust you with my life."
"Sometimes I tend to lead with my heart and not think things through. How many times have I done something foolish and gotten you into danger right along with me?"
"Yet, each time, you stand by me without question; even when it could cost you your life. I don't deserve such devotion."
"My mistakes should be my own. You should not have to pay for my bad judgment. Yet, I often drag you down with me, along with the risks and the potential consequences."
"What happened at the convent was no exception. That morning, when I saw you standing in the doorway of the queen's room, you obviously knew."
"The look of shock and disappointment on your face. . . I will never forget it. At that moment, my heart broke because I knew I had let you down. I knew that, once again, my mistake might cost you—and it could cost you dearly."
"I ran after you. . . I don't know if it was to ease my guilty conscience or if I was afraid you might reveal what you saw. God, how could I think that you would ever betray me? I didn't deserve your loyalty, after I had been so stupid."
"I should have known that you would rather go to your death protecting my secret than go against me. But let me tell you, brother, my mistakes arenot worth your life. I could never live with such regret and with such guilt on my hands."
"Of course, that guilt and regret would have lasted only seconds if we were hanged together," Aramis laughed.
"I would gladly give my own life to protect you. I would save your life without question."
"I do not regret the decision to take off my mask when I saw that you weren't breathing. There was absolutely no other option that went through my mind."
"No, I don't regret what I did, Athos. I would do it again, no question. So, I got sick because of my quick actions. At least, this time, my actions didn't bring you harm. . . but saved your life instead."
"To sit here beside your bed, knowing that you still struggle for your life—while I am already recovering—it's just not right." Aramis' eyes filled with tears.
"You need to get well, Athos. You have been through so much suffering these last few weeks; it's time for good tidings to come your way, for a change."
"You always put everyone else's needs before your own—another aspect we have in common—as I am always being reminded by certain brothersthat I tend to do the same. You need to think of yourself and come out of this coma—and do it soon!"
"Who am I kidding?"
"We need you—I need you—to get well, Athos. An integral part of our brotherhood is missing and without you we are not the same."
"I need your friendship, your leadership. . . I need my brother back."
"I consider it an honor to stand at your side. I consider it an honor that you call me brother."
"I am lucky. . ."
"I am the luckiest man in the world."
A/N:
Of all the chapters in this story, this one is my personal favorite!
I wanted to make it seem like you (the reader) were sitting with the boys, listening in on the conversation, as though you were eavesdroppingon their very personal conversations. This is why I kept the dialogue in first person, with very little descriptive narrative. I hope you enjoyed it!
Memories taken from BBC The Musketeers, Season One
Episodes:
d'Artagnan:
Friends and Enemies
Musketeers Don't Die Easily
The Return
Porthos:
The Homecoming
The Prodigal Father
Aramis:
The Good Soldier
Knight Takes Queen