Here's chapter 12 I hope to hear what you think of it. I'll update as soon as possible, as always I own nothing.
I felt the hair being brushed from my face and then a gentle kiss was placed on my forehead, it was a nice dream I smiled rolling over in bed. When I did wake up I felt movement next to me, which didn't make sense because Jane said he was going to be gone before I woke up. When I did open my eyes Jane was gone, but Alyssa and Emily were curled up next to me.
"Good morning." I smiled as Emily opened her eyes.
"Good morning Teresa." She yawned.
"Did you have another bad dream?" I worried.
"Yea, but Patrick helped." She curled up next to me. "Are you and Patrick dating?"
"No." I answered, running my fingers through her hair.
"But you share a bed, and he makes you dinner and he makes you laugh and he smiles every time he looks at you." She looked up at me.
"Patrick doesn't really date any body." I sighed.
"But you want to date him don't you." She asked.
"Patrick and I work together and that's it." I stated, that was my story and I was sticking to it, because that's all it would ever be with Patrick.
"Likely story." She rolled her eyes.
"How old are you again?" I laughed.
"Old enough to know that you really like him." She giggled, "Have you ever told him?"
"You never really have to tell Patrick things he kind of just knows." I shrugged.
"Maybe he wants you to tell him." Emily frowned, seriously how old was she again. It was a sweet effort on her part, but Jane and I just couldn't be in a relationship it wouldn't work.
"Yea how does Patrick know things?" Alyssa turned over.
"How long have you been awake over there?" I laughed.
"Long enough." She answered, "How does he know things?"
"It's always been his job to know things." I shrugged. "Why do you ask so many questions?"
"I like asking questions." Alyssa climbed over her sister and tried her hardest to squeeze in between.
"Hey, there's an easier way." I laughed, lifting a squirming Alyssa over to my other side. "There we go."
"But it's more fun the other way." Alyssa giggled and then the baby started crying.
"Alright we got to get up." I groaned.
"No you have to get up." Emily corrected.
"Is that so?" I replied, grabbing each of the girls around their waists and carrying them under my arms out to the living room.
"Nooooo."
"Let us go."
"I don't know if I can do that." I laughed, but Cassandra was still crying so in the end I didn't have a choice but to set them down and tend to their sister. "Go check on your brother." I instructed, "And then we can get some breakfast."
"Teresa, Patrick's not going to a bank is he?" Emily stopped in the doorway.
"Well no, but I guess for him it's kind of like a bank." I answered laying Cass on the changing table.
"What does that mean?" Emily frowned.
"You know what, I'm not sure what that means." I admitted, when I walked into the kitchen to give Cass her bottle there was a pot of coffee on the counter and I couldn't help but grin, if only it hadn't been a dream earlier this morning. After an hour of having them cooped in the apartment I realized we needed to do something if we stayed in here all day I would go crazy. "Guys there is a playground down the street you want to go for a walk?" After that it took all of my patience to get them to sit down and get their shoes on.
"Are you going to play with us?" Alyssa called from the top of the slide.
"I think that I better sit with Cass, but you three stay within eye sight." I answered bouncing Cass on my lap. It was almost noon when I gathered up the kids to walk back to the apartment for lunch. "Run to the bathroom and wash your hands I'll make some lunch." I instructed, unlocking the door.
"Can we go back to the park after lunch?" Alyssa questioned, kicking her shoes off in the doorway.
"I don't think so." I sighed, "but maybe tomorrow after church." I started for the kitchen, peanut butter and jelly would have to be enough for today, I still hadn't even thought about dinner. When it was just me I would have ordered take out, but last night was the first time we had eaten a home cooked meal, so we probably shouldn't have take out again. What about those dinners you heat up in the oven, I could handle that, it had been years since I've cooked a real meal.
"What are we doing after lunch?" Emily wondered before taking a bite of her sandwich.
"What do you want to do?" I asked, taking a bite of my own sandwich, wow it had been such a long time since I had eaten a PB and J.
"I want to go back to the playground." Alyssa answered.
"How about something we can do in the apartment?" I tried.
"Do you have paper?" Emily wondered.
"Uh huh."As it turned out the paper was for coloring which I guess should have been obvious. After getting out some computer paper for the girls I fed Cass her bottle and put her down for a nap, next it was time to put William down for his nap.
"No." He argued, kicking at every chance he got.
"Come on buddy aren't you tired?" I sighed.
"Nope." He just started grinning, why was he never this difficult when Jane put him down for a nap.
"But it's nap time." I stated.
"Why?" He frowned.
"Because you need a nap." I tried.
"Don't want one." He started kicking again.
"Please," I begged, "You can come color with the girls when you wake up."
"Now." He fought.
"How about if you don't at least try to take a nap, I put your Lego's in timeout." It had worked for Jane, why couldn't I at least try.
"Why?" He questioned.
"Well if you don't take your nap your Legos go in time out and you can stay up and wait for them to get out of time out." I answered and he just frowned, "But if you try and go to sleep you can play with your Legos as soon as you get up."
"Fine!" He pouted letting me tuck him into the big bed he was forced to share with his sisters.
"What took you so long?" Alyssa turned around when I walked back into the kitchen.
"Liam didn't want to take his nap." I shrugged, rinsing off the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.
"He's stubborn." Emily answered, good thing I didn't already have a stubborn guy to deal with.
"What are we drawing?" I wondered taking a seat across the table from them.
"It's a surprise." Alyssa put her arms up in front of the paper, I hadn't even realized they had been drawing on the same paper.
"I see, well am I allowed to color to?" I questioned.
"Of course." Emily put her crayon down and passed me a piece of paper, great now the only problem was what to draw. I guess the only thing to do was make it up as I go.
"No, that's not right!" Alyssa stopped her sister.
"What do you mean?" Emily looked from her sister to the drawing.
"Go look, that's not right." Alyssa stated, and with that Emily flipped the paper over and ran out of the room, coming back a minute later.
"You were right." She nodded picking up a green crayon instead.
"When do I get to know what you're drawing?" I asked.
"Soon we just need to add two more things." Alyssa smiled.
"Teresa?" Emily looked up.
"Yes."
"What did Patrick's family look like?" She asked, putting down the crayon in her hand. That definitely peaked my interest in the picture.
"Well I've only seen one picture of them." I admitted putting my own crayon down. It kind of hurt when I realized the only time I had seen a picture of Jane's family was the one of the three of them in his folder, which I wasn't actually supposed to have seen anyway.
"So what do they look like?" Alyssa wondered.
"Well they both had blond hair," I thought back to the picture I hadn't seen it in a couple years, "His daughter had blue eyes like he does and his wife had light brown eyes."
"Thank you." Emily nodded reaching for the colors I had stated.
"What are you drawing?" I frowned, so far it had involved Emily running to check something in another room and then asking about Jane's family.
"You'll see soon." Alyssa made sure the paper was covered, while adding something to the corner. "What are you drawing?"
"I don't know." I looked down at the paper in front of me.
"It looks like a house." Emily smiled looking up from her and her sister's project.
"Is that where we're going to live?" Alyssa wondered.
"No," I sighed examining the house that I had been drawing it was huge with a giant back yard and a pool, it was definitely something I could never afford. "It's just a drawing." I crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the trashcan, then reached for another piece of paper.
"All done." Emily smiled looking down at the drawing.
"No wait." Alyssa frowned, "We need to autograph it." She giggled writing her name across the entire top of the back of the paper, and then handing her crayon off to Emily. "Okay now we're done."
"Alright let me see it." I nodded, as they held their paper up for me to see it was a very full paper with a lot of different people on it, some appeared to be standing while others looked like they were floating over head. "Is that us?" I questioned taking the drawing in my hand.
"Let me show you." Emily hopped up and ran over next to me.
"Me to." Alyssa followed her sister around the table. "That's us," Alyssa pointed to two identical girls in the middle of the page.
"That's you and Patrick, and Patrick is holding Cass." Emily added, pointing to the people next to them. "And Liam is standing between us." I nodded, that made sense, they had even drawn Jane's vest.
"Why don't I get to hold Cass?" I wondered.
"Cause you were scared to hold her at first." Alyssa giggled, I guess that was fair.
"Alright and who are these people floating above us?" I questioned even though I'm pretty sure I knew the answer.
"That's Mommy and Daddy." Emily pointed to a couple in the top center of the page."
"And that's you're mommy." Alyssa explained pointing to the left corner, "And that's Patrick's family." She pointed to the right corner.
"They all have wings and halo's see." Emily pointed.
"Girls this is so pretty." I smiled, I actually felt myself holding back tears. "Can I hang this up in the living room?"
"Yeah, it's our family portrait." Alyssa smiled.
"You're absolutely right." I agreed, "We'll run to the store tomorrow after church to find the perfect frame."
"Do you think Patrick will like it to?" Emily questioned.
"Of course he will." I nodded, I knew he would like anything these kids drew but I couldn't help but worry about how he would react to his family being in the picture since for the most part he avoided talking about them. I looked up and the kitchen door was being pushed open, I hurried over the minute I realized it was William.
"Lego's now?" He yawned, I lifted him up and looked at the clock on the wall it had been a half hour.
"Yep." I smiled carrying him into the living room, "Girls can you take your crayons and paper in here?" I asked over my shoulder, they didn't answer but gathered their things and followed me into the living room to color on the coffee table. I helped Liam get out the Lego's Jane had bought him, before going over to check on Cass who had clearly just started to wake up as well, and definitely needed a diaper change.
Around five I put a family size lasagna in the oven, I guess we would have to deal with pasta two nights in a row. I was about to join the kids in the living room when the phone rang, no one ever called me on my home phone.
"Hello?" I questioned.
"Good evening." An all to familiar voice rang through the phone. I can't believe he called. "How are my favorite people?" I could hear the sounds of the casino in the background.
"The kids are fine, the girls can't wait to show you one of the drawings they made." I answered, carrying the phone back into the living room.
"I can't wait to see it." I could practically see him smiling on the other end of the phone. "What about you? How are you handling things?"
"I'm good I think I'm getting used to this parenting thing." I responded.
"After only a week." He chuckled, "Congratulations, pretty soon you won't be needing me at all."
"Oh that's not true, you close cases." I teased, "And who's going to do my cooking?"
"I see how it is." He laughed.
"And how are things with you?" I questioned.
"Very productive," He replied, "Loud and crowded, and I miss you guys, but very productive."
"Well we miss you here to." I smiled, I felt like a teenager getting all giddy when the boy she been crushing on called. Only we weren't in high school and I didn't have a crush on Jane I couldn't.
"Well I just called to check in, I didn't want you to worry." He sighed, "I better get back to the table."
"Guys come here and say bye to Patrick," I waved over the three older children who immediately jumped onto the couch with me.
"Bye Patrick, come home soon." Was shouted into the phone by all three kids at the same time.
"I'll be back as soon as I can tomorrow, and you guys promise to be good for Teresa, eat all your dinner and go to bed on time." He instructed. "I miss all of you very much and I'll be back very soon." And with that he hung up.
"Go on back to playing dinner will be ready in a little bit." I sighed setting the phone down next to me. He wouldn't have called a year ago, hell he wouldn't have called a month ago. Well I wouldn't have known he had been gone for a couple days a month ago, had he really been slipping off to casinos every month or so with out me knowing. That wasn't the point, the point was he called because he didn't want me worrying and he missed us.
"Teresa you have a funny smile on your face." Alyssa giggled, I needed to stop thinking about Jane this could only lead to problems.
"Yeah I was thinking about something nice." I sighed.
"You were thinking about Patrick." Emily teased, jumping onto my lap.
"Teresa loves Patrick!" the twins began to chant jumping from one couch cushion to the next. "Teresa loves Patrick!"
"Wait a minute." I laughed, standing up and lifting them off the couch. "No jumping on the furniture."
"You didn't deny it!" Alyssa giggled.
"Patrick and I have been good friends for a little over eight years." I sat them down next to me. "And he is the biggest pain in the butt I have ever met."
"So you're trying to say you don't love him." Emily frowned.
"Of course I love him." I laughed I think that was the first time I had admitted it to anyone especially myself. "But that stays our little secret." And both girls nodded, "You to Liam you can't tell anyone." I wasn't sure he had even been paying attention to what we were saying but better safe than sorry. Would I be sorry if they told some one? Yes especially if it was someone at work. "I'm going to go check on dinner, will one of you set the table and the other stay here and watch Liam and Cass.
After that the rest of the evening was pretty quiet, the kids ate all their dinner, behaved during bath time, and fell right asleep after story time. If only it were that easy for me, it was still pretty early and I wasn't very tired, but sitting in the living room in an eerie silence doing nothing but bouncing my confession around in my head. I turned on the news and reached for the nearest stack of paper work, the last of the adoption papers they needed to be sent in before the end of the week. The paper work helped for a little bit, but it didn't take more than a half hour to finish up. I still had the papers from work I could get a start on those, I didn't know when I would get another chance. I was part way through the stack and the news had ended when I remembered the open bottle of wine in the fridge, one glass was all I would need.
The glass of wine hardly did any good, when I did climb into bed it was still just as empty as I knew it would be, and I still had that stupid confession rolling around in my head. Things were a lot easier when I was lying to myself, he would know the minute he saw me. This was going to be one sleepless night.